"Uh, hi, yeah… We got lost. Where are we?" Ozzy
stated bluntly, staring up at a grave old
man in black who was running the docks.
"You're in Dominica," the old man croaked, staring warily from the sloppy, bumbling Ozzy,
to the ship behind him, to Yukon, and to Andrea who fumed beside him. It was quite a sight,
as she seemed to have control over the men who were both easily six inches taller than her, and
Yukon especially, who looked generally like a battle-crazed pirate. "Are you all right, woman?"
Andrea snapped out of her state of muttering under her breath to shout at the old man; "No! Je
ne suis pas all right! Nous passed le bloody island soixante-dix miles ago!" lapsing from French
to English sporadically in her rage.
"Where were you headed?" the man asked, so calm and slowly that it made Andrea even
madder.
"Don't tell me how to man my ship, I think I know where I'm going and I bloody well know
which direction to go, so get off my case!" Andrea shrieked insanely.
"Mlle. Blanche," Yukon murmured to her patiently. "Take a deep breath and collect yourself;
we don't want our captain snapping before we get to Martinique. The man was merely asking
where we were headed, and he has no intention of taking over the ship. Now, all we have to do
is turn around; it'll only take a day to get to Martinique from here."
"He might as well have threatened me!" Andrea hissed, sounding ridiculously paranoid. "See
how intimidating he's trying to look!?" Both she and Yukon turned their heads to the old man,
who had fallen asleep standing up. Ozzy was busy making pleasant conversation with him.
"That's it," Andrea said, monotone. "We're going back onboard. I don't want any more
problems from here to Martinique! Is that clear?"
"Aye-aye," Yukon and Ozzy said.
"All right, move it."
*
"Is your kid lost?"
"Eh?" Jack lifted an eyebrow and turned from the helm to see the little girl, Amelia, in his son's
old trousers, looking skeptically up at him and shielding her eyes from the sun.
"My daddy told me to, ummm… be nice to you because your kid is lost. Where is he?"
she asked.
"He," Jack sighed, pointing at Amelia, "is at Martinique, with some very roguish people."
"Do you hate him?" Amelia asked.
"Me boy? Never, lass! Love 'im to death," he replied, turning back to the wheel.
"Then why did you let him get lost?" she inquired.
"He didn't get lost, he got kidnapped by bad people," Jack said.
"Pirates?" Amelia asked. She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips and scoffed,
"I thought YOU were a pirate."
"What do you want, lassie?" Jack asked, turning back to her.
"I want to know how you guys can stand these pants," Amelia answered, slightly annoyed,
pulling at the legs and putting a disgusted look on her face.
"Those are me boy's trousers," Jack said, amused. "Wore then when he were younger 'n you!"
"What was his name?" Amelia asked.
"Jim Sparrow! Strapping lad, he is!" Jack said, grinning proudly.
"How come he can't fight off pirates himself, then?" she asked.
"Why do you ask so many questions? Go bug your mama, I'm sure she'd love to answer
some of 'em," he answered, shooing the girl away with a hand.
"Why do you wear that stuff around you eyes?" Amelia continued to question, ignoring Jack's
request. "How do you trim that mustache? My mummy said that mustaches are itchy. How
would she know? Ladies don't get mustaches. Why do you stand like that? I met a man
who stood like that once outside a bar. What's a bar? Is that a place where you buy metal
bars at? Why does metal get cold so fast? Did you know we were headed to St. Lucia
before we crashed? It's where we take vacations. How come you're so nice if you're a pirate?
Did you really do what the books say you did?" She babbled on for a good ten minutes, never
pausing for an answer, until her father appeared above deck.
"Daddy!" Amelia squealed, leaping into his arms.
"'Melia, darling!" Will laughed, picking up his daughter in his arms and kissing her lightly on the
forehead. "Have you been causing Jack trouble?"
"I've been trying to talk to him," Amelia explained. "And, daddy! He hasn't been paying
attention to me! I don't think he likes me, really!" She instantly burst into a spectacular display
of skillfully realistic tears.
"No, no, no, no!" Jack said hurriedly, swinging around and rushing to comfort the little girl.
"I was listening to everything you said, honest! And I do like you, very much!"
"Hurrah!" Amelia giggled, giving Jack a suffocating bear hug.
"No problem," he gasped as Will tried not to laugh at him.
*
"First thing's first!" Andrea barked to her crew, continually pulling up the long sleeves of her
dirty and worn trench coat. "Where is Bob?" Bob waved two fingers and grinned jauntily.
"Bob, is the boy safe in his cell?"
Bob nearly lost his balance and stared guiltily at the captain. "Is that what you told me to do?"
he asked nervously.
"WHAT."
"Well, I kinda wasn't listening…"
"Espece d'idiot!" Andrea burst, shoving past Bob and throwing open the trapdoor. She
hurried down the stairs to the little cell to discover that it had been forced open somehow; the
door was ajar and the boy was gone.
"Zut alors! ZUT, ZUT, ZUT!" Andrea shouted, stomping about and running from room to
room, searching for the kid. She turned right and whipped around the corner to her cabin,
discovering with relief that nothing had been touched. Her bed was nicely made, the rug was
clear of wrinkles, and everything was neat and orderly. From behind, she heard the familiar click
of a pistol, and turned slowly to find herself face to face with the fierce little boy, one of her
many guns in his grasp.
"Don't move!" the boy growled at her.
"I am oh so scared," Andrea breathed, annoyed. "Now, hand it over and I won't have to box
you."
"No, you don't get it, there's a poisonous snake above your head!" he tried to explain.
"Yawn! Look garcon, you can't fool me with that old trick. I'm much harder to fool than-"
Jim pulled the trigger and a loud 'bang!' echoed throughout the cabin. A colorful serpent fell
dead to the floor at Andrea's feet.
"Aiee! It's a snake," Andrea stated. Jim tossed the gun to the lady captain and raised an
eyebrow at her.
"Why would I shoot you?" he asked. "I can't captain a ship, and your crew-" he said crew
while making quotations with his fingers, "-would sink it before it got anywhere near I want
to be, which is Martinique because that's where my father is expected, and that's where he's
going to kick your arses before we go back to our lives, and you, well, you die or something
because the captain is going to be bloody angry when he gets there!"
"Just shaddup," Andrea muttered.
Above deck…
"Did you hear that gunshot, Ozzy?" Bob asked, fearfully.
"He killed Andrea!" Ozzy howled.
"Andrea killed him!" Bob suggested.
"They killed each other!" they shouted together.
"Get back to work, ye swabbies!" Yukon shouted to the pair of morons. "I'm going to go
check below deck. You two, don't get yer hopes up."
"I have no hopes," Bob grumbled. "I'm just a lookout."
"And that's all you'll ever be," Yukon snorted, stalking off.
A/N: Hey hey! How do ya like it? Sorry if there are some errors - had to post quickly.
Please review! Thanks! :D :D :D :D
man in black who was running the docks.
"You're in Dominica," the old man croaked, staring warily from the sloppy, bumbling Ozzy,
to the ship behind him, to Yukon, and to Andrea who fumed beside him. It was quite a sight,
as she seemed to have control over the men who were both easily six inches taller than her, and
Yukon especially, who looked generally like a battle-crazed pirate. "Are you all right, woman?"
Andrea snapped out of her state of muttering under her breath to shout at the old man; "No! Je
ne suis pas all right! Nous passed le bloody island soixante-dix miles ago!" lapsing from French
to English sporadically in her rage.
"Where were you headed?" the man asked, so calm and slowly that it made Andrea even
madder.
"Don't tell me how to man my ship, I think I know where I'm going and I bloody well know
which direction to go, so get off my case!" Andrea shrieked insanely.
"Mlle. Blanche," Yukon murmured to her patiently. "Take a deep breath and collect yourself;
we don't want our captain snapping before we get to Martinique. The man was merely asking
where we were headed, and he has no intention of taking over the ship. Now, all we have to do
is turn around; it'll only take a day to get to Martinique from here."
"He might as well have threatened me!" Andrea hissed, sounding ridiculously paranoid. "See
how intimidating he's trying to look!?" Both she and Yukon turned their heads to the old man,
who had fallen asleep standing up. Ozzy was busy making pleasant conversation with him.
"That's it," Andrea said, monotone. "We're going back onboard. I don't want any more
problems from here to Martinique! Is that clear?"
"Aye-aye," Yukon and Ozzy said.
"All right, move it."
*
"Is your kid lost?"
"Eh?" Jack lifted an eyebrow and turned from the helm to see the little girl, Amelia, in his son's
old trousers, looking skeptically up at him and shielding her eyes from the sun.
"My daddy told me to, ummm… be nice to you because your kid is lost. Where is he?"
she asked.
"He," Jack sighed, pointing at Amelia, "is at Martinique, with some very roguish people."
"Do you hate him?" Amelia asked.
"Me boy? Never, lass! Love 'im to death," he replied, turning back to the wheel.
"Then why did you let him get lost?" she inquired.
"He didn't get lost, he got kidnapped by bad people," Jack said.
"Pirates?" Amelia asked. She rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her hips and scoffed,
"I thought YOU were a pirate."
"What do you want, lassie?" Jack asked, turning back to her.
"I want to know how you guys can stand these pants," Amelia answered, slightly annoyed,
pulling at the legs and putting a disgusted look on her face.
"Those are me boy's trousers," Jack said, amused. "Wore then when he were younger 'n you!"
"What was his name?" Amelia asked.
"Jim Sparrow! Strapping lad, he is!" Jack said, grinning proudly.
"How come he can't fight off pirates himself, then?" she asked.
"Why do you ask so many questions? Go bug your mama, I'm sure she'd love to answer
some of 'em," he answered, shooing the girl away with a hand.
"Why do you wear that stuff around you eyes?" Amelia continued to question, ignoring Jack's
request. "How do you trim that mustache? My mummy said that mustaches are itchy. How
would she know? Ladies don't get mustaches. Why do you stand like that? I met a man
who stood like that once outside a bar. What's a bar? Is that a place where you buy metal
bars at? Why does metal get cold so fast? Did you know we were headed to St. Lucia
before we crashed? It's where we take vacations. How come you're so nice if you're a pirate?
Did you really do what the books say you did?" She babbled on for a good ten minutes, never
pausing for an answer, until her father appeared above deck.
"Daddy!" Amelia squealed, leaping into his arms.
"'Melia, darling!" Will laughed, picking up his daughter in his arms and kissing her lightly on the
forehead. "Have you been causing Jack trouble?"
"I've been trying to talk to him," Amelia explained. "And, daddy! He hasn't been paying
attention to me! I don't think he likes me, really!" She instantly burst into a spectacular display
of skillfully realistic tears.
"No, no, no, no!" Jack said hurriedly, swinging around and rushing to comfort the little girl.
"I was listening to everything you said, honest! And I do like you, very much!"
"Hurrah!" Amelia giggled, giving Jack a suffocating bear hug.
"No problem," he gasped as Will tried not to laugh at him.
*
"First thing's first!" Andrea barked to her crew, continually pulling up the long sleeves of her
dirty and worn trench coat. "Where is Bob?" Bob waved two fingers and grinned jauntily.
"Bob, is the boy safe in his cell?"
Bob nearly lost his balance and stared guiltily at the captain. "Is that what you told me to do?"
he asked nervously.
"WHAT."
"Well, I kinda wasn't listening…"
"Espece d'idiot!" Andrea burst, shoving past Bob and throwing open the trapdoor. She
hurried down the stairs to the little cell to discover that it had been forced open somehow; the
door was ajar and the boy was gone.
"Zut alors! ZUT, ZUT, ZUT!" Andrea shouted, stomping about and running from room to
room, searching for the kid. She turned right and whipped around the corner to her cabin,
discovering with relief that nothing had been touched. Her bed was nicely made, the rug was
clear of wrinkles, and everything was neat and orderly. From behind, she heard the familiar click
of a pistol, and turned slowly to find herself face to face with the fierce little boy, one of her
many guns in his grasp.
"Don't move!" the boy growled at her.
"I am oh so scared," Andrea breathed, annoyed. "Now, hand it over and I won't have to box
you."
"No, you don't get it, there's a poisonous snake above your head!" he tried to explain.
"Yawn! Look garcon, you can't fool me with that old trick. I'm much harder to fool than-"
Jim pulled the trigger and a loud 'bang!' echoed throughout the cabin. A colorful serpent fell
dead to the floor at Andrea's feet.
"Aiee! It's a snake," Andrea stated. Jim tossed the gun to the lady captain and raised an
eyebrow at her.
"Why would I shoot you?" he asked. "I can't captain a ship, and your crew-" he said crew
while making quotations with his fingers, "-would sink it before it got anywhere near I want
to be, which is Martinique because that's where my father is expected, and that's where he's
going to kick your arses before we go back to our lives, and you, well, you die or something
because the captain is going to be bloody angry when he gets there!"
"Just shaddup," Andrea muttered.
Above deck…
"Did you hear that gunshot, Ozzy?" Bob asked, fearfully.
"He killed Andrea!" Ozzy howled.
"Andrea killed him!" Bob suggested.
"They killed each other!" they shouted together.
"Get back to work, ye swabbies!" Yukon shouted to the pair of morons. "I'm going to go
check below deck. You two, don't get yer hopes up."
"I have no hopes," Bob grumbled. "I'm just a lookout."
"And that's all you'll ever be," Yukon snorted, stalking off.
A/N: Hey hey! How do ya like it? Sorry if there are some errors - had to post quickly.
Please review! Thanks! :D :D :D :D