Chapter 3: A Very Fluffy Chapter

A/N: Ack! Another cliffie! Nooo! I'm hyper! Whoo!

A/N2: Alrighty! From here on out I, Vanessa, will be typing. Just so you know. Well, now I have to come up with disclaimers for you people because you just don't get the fact that we own NOTHING!!

Legolas: Vanessa, I think you need to calm down and relax.

Me: Relax?! You wanna see relaxed?! *Tries to sit down in a nearby chair and fails* OK…

Haldir: She looks a bit tense doesn't she?

Me: Tense?! You wanna see tense?! Ack, I give up.

Haldir: So you see what you've done to your poor authoress? This, ladies and (maybe) gentlemen, is what fan fiction writing does to you.

Me: Haldir, have you been diggin' around in the medicine cabinet again?

Haldir: *looks around the room and whistles trying to look innocent*

"What don't I understand?" I asked. "No, wait-" I interrupted. "Don't tell me, tell Vanessa."

"She won't listen to me!" he protested.

"Well, that's you problem (I mean you, not your, OK)!" I retorted and smiled.

***

"Vanessa?" I called, knocking on her door.

"What?" she asked, opening it.

"Wanna watch Stargate?"

"Where's Merry?"

"Why do you want to know?" (A/N: Does anyone feel like we're playing 'Questions Only' on Whose Line Is It Anyway?)

"Because he's always hanging around you and he's not now."

"Ha ha! I win! And he's in our room trying to find the Sci-Fi channel so we can watch Stargate," I answered. "You wanna join us?"

"Sure."

Soon, Merry, Vanessa, Boromir (whom Vanessa was now hugging on), and I were watching Stargate…Across the hall Kitty, Legolas, Courtney, and Pippin were doing the same. The rest of the fellowship was off doing who knows what.

"Oooo! Daniel!" I heard Kitty cry as Michael Shanks made a guest appearance (this is an episode after Meridian- an EVIL episode!)

"Man! This is classic!" I laughed as we watched. The scene went something like this:

Jack walked into the elevator, whistling some tuneless song and clicked the button.

Clunk! The elevator stopped suddenly, and the lights flickered on and off before powering up again.

'Jack,' came Daniel's voice.

Jack looked around trying to determine where the voice was coming from.

'Jack,' Daniel said patiently. Jack whirled around, facing the white-clad (and according to Christy and Kitty, hott) figure in the corner.

'Jack, you gotta do me a favor. The people of Abydos…' Daniel rambled on urgently for some minutes before finally stopping and looking at Jack, who blinked at him.

Jack stared, then suddenly leaned back. 'How are ya Daniel? How ya been? How's the ascension thing working for ya cuz you never write, you never call, and I was just wondering,' he asked.

Daniel stared for a second turned to face the wall and plastered a broad smile on his face.

'Hi Jack!' he said brightly. 'What's new? How ya doing?'

'Oh, oh!' the colonel began. 'Funny thing happened today!'

'Oh, really?' Daniel cut in.

'Yeah, this old friend of mine whom I haven't seen for months showed up asking me for help. See, he ascended to this powerful being and he asks me for help. See the irony?'

'Really?' Daniel feigned interest. 'What did he-'

'No, no, just wait for the story,' Jack chided.

'Sorry, sorry…'

"Hey, that sounds like us!" Vanessa noted.

"Yeah, but I don't know which one I am," I agreed. "I so good-looking like Daniel and I'm funny like Jack!"

"Funny looking!" Vanessa shot back! (A/N2: She knows me so well!)

"At least I'm not scary looking like you!" I retorted and threw a pillow at her.

"At least I'm not a fag!" she yelled and flung the pillow at Alex. (FYI he's not but Vanessa insists that he is) (A/N2: That's because he acts like a gay fag all time! Take a look at him, he dresses better than me and spends more time on his hair than me for crying out loud! I swear, he's gay)

"At least I'm not a lezzi like you!' he retorted and smacked her with the pillow. (A/N: She's not a lezzi either. But Vanessa and him do this all the time to each other)

"Aaaahhhhh!!!" Vanessa screamed and attacked poor Alex. (A/N2: Ha! I pulled a Touchstone! Sorry, Old Kingdom Trilogy thing. And when did Alex become poor?!)

"Lezzi?" Boromir wondered aloud.

"Vanessa, snap out of it!" I demanded as I pulled her off of Alex. "Only I can beat him up!"

"Oh, yeah, sorry."

"That's OK," I replied and helped Alex up then smacked him to demonstrate my point.

"Oww! You are so abusive! I think I have bruises!" he cried out. (A/N2: See, doesn't that sound gay?)

"Good," I smiled and sat down next to merry. "Stargates back on."

"Ugh," he rolled his eyes and this time Boromir hit him. (A/N2: Go Pin-Cushion Boi!)

"Do not roll your eyes at a lady."

"Show me a lady and I'll stop. No! Don't hurt me!" he yelped as he ran. "Christy, stop him, please!" (A/N2: *coughs* fag *coughs* Sorry, can you tell I don't like Alex that much?)

"Boromir, sit down!" I screamed, "you make a better door than a window!"

"Fine," he grumbled and returned to Vanessa's side.

"That's a good whipped doggy," Alex muttered and turned around when he saw Boromir start to get up again.

A/N: I think that's long enough. I have so much fun torturing Alex! DYK: Australia exports camels to Saudi Arabia? Funny!

A/N2: Gah! I just typed this whole thing in less than an hour. Whoo-hoo! Go me! *Does squirrel dance* And why did Christy give me Boromir? Oh well, he's pretty hot in his own special way. Anyway, please review or my dragon, Aiden, will bite you in da butt!

Oh, and if you wanna see some pics of my horse and I, I can show them to you! Go to HobbitGirls's bio and link over to my bio. There, at the bottom, will be a link to the website. The first 4 are of me and Slick. There are more but not in order. So, if you do look, I'm the rider with a blue jacket and GREY pants. OK, well there you go!