Chapter 8: Joe's Crab Shack

A/N: Christy, pwease let me use the recipe! I'm sure Haldir wouldn't mind! God, I'm bad! Oh, and you reviewers/readers, that whole thing is kinda hard to explain. Christy, Vinny wants to read our fics. I told him our name started with an 'L'. Ha! Do you have ANY idea how many 'L' names there are?! Anyway, on with da ficcy-poo.

Disclaimer:

Legolas: *comes out dressed as a mermaid* Under the sea! Under the sea!

Haldir: Legolas, what are you doing?!

Legolas: What are you talking about? We have a show in-

Me: Haldir shut up and come here.

Haldir: What is he doing?

Me: He said he wanted to be a star. So I let me be the little mermaid. Cute huh?

Haldir: It would be fine but did he really have to wear the seashell bra? *cringes*

Me: I kinda like it.

Legolas: *dances and sings* *shakes his butt*

Me: Whoo!

I sat and stared at Kitty, amazed that she glomped the big elf of Rivendell. "So what was it like?" I asked her.

"I don't know. Man, I glomped Elrond and I can't even remember doing it! Waahhh!!!"

"I want to glomp an elf someday," I thought aloud. "Maybe Haldir…or Rúmil. Yeah, either one sounds good."

Just then, Aragorn sat down next to me and Boromir on my other side. "Did I just hear you say that you wanted to glomp the march warden of Lothlórien?" Aragorn asked, clearly amused.

"No!" I cried in my defense. Then quietly added, "I said his brother too…"

Then Gandalf spoke up, "I'd glomp him too!" he shouted drunkenly, drawing a few stares.

"Right… moving on," Courtney said.

                                    ***

After lunch everyone went their own ways…sorta. I went up to my room to sleep since I didn't get that much earlier. And this time when I laid down, there was no one in it. Yay!

Anyway, after my little nap I went back up on deck to see what all was going on. Eh, I kinda wish I had stayed below in my room.

Gandalf, Gimli, Frodo, and Sam were playing shuffleboard. It sounds pretty ordinary, right? Heh, boy are you wrong! They were playing Shuffleboard…to the extreme! It was kinda a cross between shuffleboard, strip poker, and hockey.

"Ha ha!" Frodo laughed at a half-dressed Gimli. "You landed on red, take off the helmet."

"Yes, please do!" Gandalf said, licking his lips.

Gimli grumbled about it but in the end removed his helmet. "Now, young Baggins, it is your turn."

Frodo picked up the little stick and pushed the piece across the board; it too landed on red.

"A-ha!" Gimli cried. He took the stick from Frodo and slapped Frodo across the face with it. "That's for landing on red after me."

I just kinda looked at them and shook my head. "I'm not even gonna ask," I mumbled and moved on.

Boromir, Legolas, Aragorn, and Pippin were fishing off the side of the boat. They each had on either a fishing hat or a floppy hat (yes that was for you Christy); it was just so darn cute.

I walked up to the four and almost burst out laughing at the sight. Apparently, Pippin had somehow caught a crab. He was looking at it as if it were the greatest thing in the world.

"Does it bite?" he asked the older guys.

"No, no, it's harmless," Aragorn said to him but his eyes said otherwise. He punched Boromir when he opened his mouth and smiled down at the young hobbit.

Legolas, catching my Hott And Sexy Ranger With A Nice Butt's drift, then said, "Put your finger close to its mouth and see for yourself."

Pippin looked at Boromir who just turned and looked at the ocean. Then he stuck his finger close to the crab.

Well, I'm pretty sure you can guess what happened next.

"Owwww!!!" Pippin screamed and tried to shack his finger free from the crab's claws. It was to no avail, so he started running all around the deck shacking his hand violently.

The four of us just laughed as if there were no tomorrow. I mean, wouldn't you if a young, ignorant, naive hobbit just willingly stick his finger in a crab? Oh wait, one just did. My mistake!

A kind stranger (who chose to remain anonymous) helped to free Pippin for the clutches of the crab. "I thought you said it didn't bite!" he whined.

 "It doesn't," Legolas said, wiping the tears from his eyes from laughing so hard.

"I beg to differ!" the young Took cried indignantly and stuck out his finger which was turning red.

"It didn't bite you though," I said.

"But…but…but…" he started. "You tricked me!" He then walked away, leaving me and the others behind.

"I can't believe he did that!" Boromir laughed.

"I know! What a loser!" I managed to say before another fit of laughter took me.

The 4 of us laughed for close to 10 minutes before I remember why I came up. "Oh, hey, do you know where Christy and Merry are?"

None of them would look me in the eyes and repeatedly cleared their throats. "Oh," I said, catching on. "Eww…"

A/N: I'm sorry I ended at such a crappy place. But I'm tired and I've had a bad day. *sees Aragorn walk by in only his boxers* Hello… *Falls off chair from leaning over to look at HASRWANB* Anyway, please, please, please review! I think we've only had one faithful reader thus far. So thank you HobbitLoverLady, I love you. No, not like that! Jeez, sickos! That's what I have Daniel for! *grins evilly* Well, if you could, please tell all your friends about us. I'm beginning to feel unloved. *cries*

"This suburban man,

He wants discipline,

But I just need a friend."

-Our Lady Peace "All For You"

"These wounds won't seem to heal

This pain is just too real

There's just so much that time cannot erase."

-Evanescence "My Immortal"