Chapter 11: Monkey Rapists!

A/N: I gotta torture Nessa this chapter. She got a boyfriend and didn't tell me. I was really pissed at him (not her) when I wrote this chapter so my A/N was not very nice. Therefore I have revised it! Enough here, time to write!

A/N2: OMG, Klein Oak was on 104 KRBE (a local radio station) and Evan made a shout out to Conner that Conner was gay! OMG, it was so funny…

Disclaimer:

Legolas: *makes a grab for chocolate-chip cookies*

Me: *snatches them away* Nu-uh.

Legolas: Please…

Me: Nope. *munches on a cookie* Not until you do the disclaimer.

Legolas: *sigh* Fine. They own nothing. Most everything belongs to the great and powerful JRR Tolkien. There, happy?!

Me: Now say that I have your undying love and devotion.

Legolas: Vanessa, you have my undying and- Wait a second!

That night for dinner it was Mexican Food night (just as long as there's no Estebon, this should work out!), buffet style. Sam finally figured out what fajitas were and took the whole platter. It was not very appetizing watching him eat. Good thing I have a lot of practice watching Kitty eat!

During dinner I talked to Alex, since I knew better than to talk to Merry while he was eating, anyway. We had an interesting conversation, as usual, about movies. I started it off on its interesting course by commenting that a certain actor was hott. We ended up getting way off course, as usual, going back to Alex's question of last year, "What do you think of my looks?" (A/N2: Only a gay man would ask that, I say!)

"Tell me!" he demanded.

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Will you 2 shut up?!" Vanessa screamed, "I'm trying to eat."

"Fine," I replied, and then turned back to Alex. "No!"

"Yes!"

"No!"

"Yes, tell me!"

"OK, fine; I give up," I mock-surrendered. "You look cute…when you're sleeping!" I joked.

"Hey! That's not fair!" he fought back. "If you hadn't taken so long with your test, I wouldn't have fallen asleep."

"Yeah, well, ya did. And you made Lake Alex with your drool on the desk!" I retorted. "It was your fault anyway. If you hadn't done the LTD, you wouldn't have that much free time! So ha!"

Instead of replying he muttered something under his breath and started talking to someone else.

"I win!" I mock-cheered and went back to eating.

***

"Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily life is but a dream! Hey!" I sang. "Everybody now!"

Kitty joined in enthusiastically, Courtney too. After the guys got the lyrics down, the cool ones joined in, meaning Merry, Pippin, Sam, Boromir, Aragorn, Legolas. After some prodding from me Alex joined in unenthusiastically. Vanessa just rolled her eyes wile Gandalf, Gimli, and Frodo asked, "Oh Valar! Why me?!"

We continued singing well into the wee hours of the morning (we started just after dinner). Alex kept looking at me pointedly, clearly saying, "Can we stop yet?" I just ignored him and when he would stop I would elbow him and he'd start up again.

Eventually the 4 not singing cracked.

"Stop, stop, stop! Make it stop!" Vanessa, Gimli, Frodo, and Gandalf cried. "I can't stand it anymore!"

"…merrily, merrily, merrily; life is but a dream!" I sang and cut everyone off with me. "He he! I win!"

"No you don't!" Vanessa denied my victory.

I scoffed. "You gave up, so yes I did."

"Nope."

"Uh-huh!"

We argued for several minutes until Aragorn stepped in.

"Stop it children!" he yelled.

"No!" Vanessa yelled back while I yelled, "Aragorn's a monkey rapist!" (A/N: Don't worry, that was only semi-random)

"What?" I got many strange looks, especially from Vanessa and Aragorn.

"Vanessa's a monkey!" Kitty laughed.

"I am not!" Vanessa screamed back.

"I'm a monkey rapist?" I heard Aragorn mutter "Girls." Then came the famous Aragorn eye roll.

"Eeeeee!" Vanessa squealed and sat on Aragorn's lap as she swooned over the eye roll.

"Good-night," I said to merry and left before anyone remembered my monkey rapist comment.

A/N: Fluff! Pure fluff! All well, it was fun. Your turn Nessie!

A/N2: Yeah, it was fluff. But hey, as long as I got my sexy eye roll, I'm a happy burrito! Meh, I don't think you guys got that. Oh, and to Brittany Kiehler (did I spell that right?) HI!!!!!