Chapter 12: Is A Beer So Much To Ask For?!

A/N: OK…I wanna go home. It turns out that the editors were supposed to go to The Woodlands for a design class but did anybody tell me? No…Am I pissed? Yes…*sigh* Oh well, Aragorn can always make me full of happy! *pinches his butt*

Disclaimer:

Legolas and Haldir: *looking at YM magazine*

Legolas: OMG, look at her hair! She soooo has split ends…

Haldir: And him! Why does he even bother with that hairstyle? Humans…

Me: *clears throat* Umm…guys?

Both: *look up and try to hide the magazine* Yes?

Me: Whatcha doing?

Legolas: Nothing…

Me: Right….Just do the disclaimer someone.

Haldir: Christy and my future wife, Vanessa, own nothing. Although, Vanessa owns me and can have her way with me at any time. WHAT?! Who wrote this?!

Me: *whistles and scoots away*

Tonight, on the ship, was a special night. Yep, yep, yep, you guessed it; a costume party! Hehehe. Well, let's go back to the beginning of the day when we first learned of this little 'get together.'

Knock, knock, knock! Somebody banged on my door. I looked at the clock. 7:36 am. Whoa, does 7:36 even have an am?! No, it does not, and I was oh so very mad.

I threw back my covers and stomped to the door. Upon opening it, a small hand threw a bright green flyer in my face and ran off. "Odd…" I thought.

'Costume Party! Tonight at 7:30 pm in the dining hall. Please join us for a night of celebration!' the flyer read.

"Interesting…" I thought aloud. Then I ran to Courtney's bed and shook her awake. "Courtney, Courtney, Courtney, Courtney, Courtney! Wake up! Wake up!!"

"Ugh! Vanessa, leave me alone…" she grumbled and turned over onto her side away from me.

I sighed. "Court, there's going to be a party tonight! A costume party! Can we go? Please, please, please, please?"

"Vanessa, fine. Now go back to sleep…"

_~*~_

The party started at 7:30 but nobody really arrived until closer to 7:45. I guess they all wanted to show up casually late. Humph. Oh well, we do.

Courtney and I were the first to arrive of our little 'group' as I like to call it. Court was dressed as a cheerleader and I was Arwen. Ya know, that is way too ironic. Even for me!

Next to enter the dining hall was Gimli. He was dressed as a troll doll. He had a bright orange wig, which stood straight up and had a bright orange star on his belly.

Then came Merry and Pippin. Pippin was Ricky Martin. He had the leather pants, tight shirt, and funky hairdo. Merry came as an exotic dancer. When he entered he swished around and clanged the finger cymbals.

Frodo and Sam came next. Sam was Mickey Mouse. He had on the rubber mouse ears and red shorts. Frodo was the Duke from Moulin Rouge. Eww…sex freak on a stick!

Christy and Kitty then entered the room. Christy was an 'elf goddess' and Kitty…a smurf.  Why a smurf? She had even gone so far as to have her skin blue. I'd have to ask her about that later.

Next came Legolas and Aragorn. And, yep, you guessed it, Legolas was a woman. He looked exactly the same except he wore a dress instead of a tunic and pants. It was quite a change. And my HASRWANB was dressed as a pixie/pirate. Ooo…even with the pink he looked good enough to eat.

And last, Gandalf, Alex, and Boromir. Gandalf was a pink ballerina. His outfit included a tiara, a tutu, pink slippers, and a tight leotard. His chest hair was protruding from the leotard, and it was quite disturbing. Now Boromir…he had on a bowtie and a shiny Speedo. And let me tell you, it was niiiice. Alex came as Elrond.

As the DJ started warming up, our little 'group' headed out to the dance floor. He he, yep, we were gonna dance. The only one who didn't follow was Gandalf since a 9-year-old girl had stolen his tiara and he was chasing her around the room. One would think he wanted to rape her had they not known he was gay.

The first song the DJ, Steve, played was Macho Man by The Village People. Everything started out OK until Gimli decided to show off how manly *cough* he was and went up on the stage to dance.

Of course, the elf couldn't let the dwarf beat him at anything so he too jumped up on stage. And this prompted the other men of the fellowship to dance.

Boromir started to dance a bit, how should I say this, suggestively. Some of the women were trying to stick dollar bills in his Speedo but since he didn't understand what was going on, he swatter their hands away. But this action only made them mad, not go away.

The song ended and so did the dancers unfortunately. But it was alright, we all hit the bar after the guys came down.

"Boromir…" I whined. "Get me a beer. Pwease…" I pulled the sad puppy dog look on him. Nobody can refuse that look!

"No," he said flatly.

Except him.

"I said nooooo."

"Humph. You're no fun, pincushion Boi," I pouted. Christy laughed at me from her place next to Merry, sipping a Margarita. "Shut up."

So I moved on down the line. "Legoooooolas. You know you wanna buy me a beer. I mean, who doesn't want to see me run around like a drunken idiot?"

He thought about this for a moment. "While it is tempting to have you make a fool of yourself, I'm afraid I'll have to decline."

"And why is this?" I asked.

"It's against your laws."

I rolled my eyes and moved on yet again. "Gimli! Buddy!"

"No, lass."

"You crack-head!" I spat at him and once again move don down. A-ha! The perfect man…

"Aragorn…You know what would make me really happy? If you bought a beer for me."

"Didn't you say something about being too young before?" he questioned me.

"Oh, come on; it's only a beer."

He rolled his eyes in that sexy way of his and ordered a beer. Haha! I had beaten the system and the government all in one day! "This is the only one I'm allowing you to have, alright?" he said to me, holding the beer just out of reach. I nodded vigorously.

_~*~_

"And then I says to him, 'go home and rape your own monkey!'" I laughed as I drained the remainder of my 10th beer.

"You know," Legolas whispered to Aragorn. "I never thought I would say this but watching her like this is amusing."

"Hearts, stars, and horseshoes, clovers, and blue moons! Pots of gold and rainbows and the red balloons!" I sang and danced around in a circle with Boromir (think Jack and Elizabeth when they're on the island drinking rum in POTC).

"Have you ever seen an elf drunk before?" Courtney asked Christy in a hushed tone.

"No…" The she smiled, catching Courtney's drift. "Hey, Leggy! You wouldn't have happened to have ever tried a Wild Turkey before would ya?"

A/N: There, I left it open for ya, Christy. *grins* Wow, I sure do have a lot to type…Oh! Did you get that pic of Craig? Oh man…he's like sex on a stick! I'll bring it if I remember, K? Anyway, your turn! *tags Christy and chases after Craig and Viggo*