Chapter 13: 1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, FLOOR!
A/N: Life sux! Grr…stupid English! This movie is sooooo gay! Grr… Drunk Leggy! Yay! Fun, fun, fun!
A/N2: Sorry about the lack of updates; I've been kinda lazy and kinda busy. But I'm here now so rejoice!
Disclaimer:
Legolas: Took ya long enough.
Me: I'm sorry! How can I make it up to you?
Haldir: Unchain us from the bed?
Legolas: Let us take off these ridiculous outfits?
Me: *grins* That can be arranged…
Legolas: Not like that! Gah! Haldir, just do the disclaimer.
Haldir: Christy and Vanessa, Goddesses of this modern Earth, own nothing created by JJR Tolkien. Although, here on the note card, it says that Vanessa owns Aragorn's sexy arse.
"Wild Turkey? What is a 'Wild Turkey'?" Legolas asked.
"It's a drink; a really good one. Go ask the bartender for one," I answered.
"Okaaaaay…" he replied, bewildered. Slowly he walked away to order the said drink.
"Well, are you going to drink it?" I asked as her stared at the glass.
"I'm not so sure I want to; you suggested it."
"Gee, thanks. I love you too," I replied sarcastically.
"Come on, Leggy, hunny," Kitty coaxed. "If I can't drink, you have to drink for me!"
"If you say so," the woman, formerly as elf, AKA Leggy, said and gulped down the drink.
"Wasn't that good?" Kitty, our resident expert on Wild Turkey, asked.
"Surprisingly, yes," he answered.
"Then why are you still waiting there?!" Kitty demanded. "Go get more!"
Just then, I saw something that made me do a double take. "No, I wasn't dreaming!" I thought. Then I told Kitty and Courtney to make sure Leggy kept buying those Wild Turkeys and ran off.
"Haldir?" I asked.
"Yes, milady," Haldir replied. "And who are you? You are elven yet I know you not."
"Hmm…I want an elvish name," I quietly decided.
"Christine," I replied.
"It's a pleasure meeting you Lady Christine," the march-warden told me. "Would you do me (A/N2: Tehe. Do me.) the pleasure of accompanying me on my walk?"
"It would be my pleasure," I assured him. Then I thought, "Lady Christine. Not too bad but who said I'm a lady?"
_~*~_
While I was off walking with Haldir (yes, it was the real Haldir) things started getting, uhhh…. Interesting.
_~*~_
Legolas was really going to town on them Wild Turkeys.
"Chug, chug, chug, chug!" the whole party chanted as Leggy drained his 20th Wild Turkey, passing Vanessa at 12 beers.
_~*~_
"Wow! It's really beautiful tonight!" I exclaimed. You could clearly see the stars and the sky was a gorgeous, deep blue, not something you often see in Houston!
"Yes, it is," Haldir replied, running a hand through my hair.
"But it is not as beautiful as in Middle-Earth," he continued.
"Of course not," I replied, wishing I knew for myself what it looked like in Middle-Earth.
"In addition to it being beautiful tonight, it's also freezing cold!" I thought to myself, trying not to shiver because elves don't feel the cold and Haldir thought I was an elf.
Suddenly, I wasn't cold anymore. I turned my head to look at Haldir but he wasn't beside me. He was behind me with his arms around my waist; not that I minded, not in the least.
We stayed like that for a while, which didn't bother me. While we talked I could feel his muscles rippling when he moved, not a bad feeling. A slow song played from inside and Haldir and I danced to it. After the song ended I looked up to say something, probably about how well he danced but noting came out because as soon as I lifted my head Haldir kissed me. After that, I remember nothing.
_~*~_
By the time I returned to the party, Legolas was on Wild Turkey #98. His eyes were slightly out of focus and he was swaying side to side.
"I feel pretty, of so pretty. Pretty and witty and GAY!" the prince of Mirkwood sang loudly.
"Where were you?!" Merry asked, startling me.
"Out on the deck, looking at the stars," I replied. It wasn't a lie; I was.
"Oh. Weren't you cold?" he asked, referring to my thin, elvish dress.
"…99…100!" Kitty yelled as Leggy downed his 100th Wild Turkey. Just then the DJ said there was going to be the opportunity to do karaoke.
"Oh! Legolas, you have to sing!" I exclaimed and pulled the prince to the stage. I went to the DJ and told him what to play.
"Man! I feel like a woman!" Legolas sang wholeheartedly, even doing hair-flips.
"Wow, Kitty's husband really does look like a woman!" Courtney whispered.
"Yeah, it's kinda sad, isn't it?" I whispered back.
A/N: I could just hear Vanessa screaming about the whole Haldir scene. I'm sorry, but it made me feel better! All well! My chappie, my rules! *runs off after Haldir*
A/N2: Egh that was not a fun chappie to type. I had Demon-child and Lauren sitting right behind me, watching LOTR. Grr. Anyway, please review!
And another great big thanks to Hobbit Lover Lady! I lub you mucho! OK, not as much as Aragorn, but I still love you our lone reviewer! Oh, and to Kits too, but she doesn't count; we forced her to read them.