Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and
owned by JK Rowling. No money is being made and no copyright
infringement is intended.
Chapter 3
Later that night, Tonks lay awake in bed staring at the dark ceiling, miserably regretting what she'd done earlier that day. She'd slept with Harry. Harry! She was his teacher, for God's sake! She couldn't believe she'd done such a thing. But no matter how much her conscience told her it was wrong, her heart and body told her it was right. Even then, a good twelve hours later, her skin still tingled from his touch. She purposely hadn't showered that night. She didn't want to wash away the feelings. And the scariest part was that she wanted more. She desperately wanted more. He'd given her a taste of something so sweet and tender, and now she craved it. Damn him! He had ruined sex for her forever. She honestly didn't think anyone else could live up to him. Harry with his messy black hair. Harry with his awkward shyness. Harry with his inexperienced sixteen-year-old hands. Hands she longed to have all over her body again. Damn him.
The next day they weren't paired together, to her great relief, for she honestly didn't know how she was going to face him. She hadn't spoken to him since the "event," and she had no idea how he was feeling about it. Their contact since had been limited to mealtimes with the whole group. These events had been extremely awkward for her. She had the feeling that everyone was staring at her and could see right through her, even though, in truth, they detected no difference. Harry was a little quieter than usual, too, and he looked paler. Every so often he'd try to catch her eye across the table, but she avoided his gaze. She was still too confused and simply wasn't ready to face him.
A whole week passed before they were alone together again. Tonks thought that time would have cured things, and would have helped her to move on, but she was wrong. Seven days later she was still in the same spot as she was before. Except worse. The passage of time had only made her want him all the more. All week, when they should have been dissipating, her feelings for Harry were only growing stronger. She didn't kid herself that the feelings were love, but there was no doubt that some deep emotion was involved. There was no denying it. She was powerfully attracted to him. She was sitting on the bed when he came in for practice. She was staring at the floor. He quietly walked over and sat down beside her. They didn't speak for several minutes. Finally, she gathered some courage and spoke. "Harry," she began. "I'm so sorry about last week. I was totally out of line. I can barely live with myself."
He sighed as he played with his hands. "I figured you'd feel that way."
"What way?"
"Regretful." Their eyes met for the first time in a week as he looked up at her. He had a look of forlorn sadness on his face. "I knew I couldn't be any good for you."
She sighed at his lack of understanding. "Harry, that's not it at all!" She lowered her voice to a whisper. "You were wonderful. What we had was just...phenomenal. Powerful. I can't even describe it." He continued to look at her silently, unconvinced. "You were so good that all I want right now is to do it again." He looked up at her again, this time with a ray of hope in his eyes. He slowly leaned forward. Caught in a moment of weakness, she did too. Soon their mouths were at each other again, tasting, feeling. Her fingers went to his hair, and his hands went to her waist, gently caressing. Their tongues met, tentatively at first, rougher as time wore on. For Tonks, it was like coming home. She completely surrendered herself to him, and gave herself up to the longings she'd been having all week. They fell back onto the bed, Harry on top, mouths locked all the while. Things were becoming more heated by the moment. Tonks could barely keep a coherent thought while Harry was kissing her. Kissing her like he could never get enough. But in the back of her mind warning flashes were going off. No matter how much her body wanted to ignore them, she couldn't. She literally had to pry herself away from him. "Harry," she breathed. "This has got to stop." They were both panting from lack of air.
He looked at her, and there was no mistaking the hurt in his eyes. "We have to think logically, Harry! What can become of this? I'm an auror. You're still in school. You've still got two more years left! What happens after you go back to Hogwarts? Tell me that! Maybe you could give this up without any problems, but I don't think I could!" She was starting to cry, as her emotions, which were already just below the surface, began to break free. "I'm already too emotionally attached to you as it is. This might not mean a thing to you, but it would be leading me on."
"Do you think this was just some random shag for me?" He asked, a little anger surfacing in his voice. "Because it's not. You're one of the only people that has treated me like an adult. The others don't tell me anything and act like I'm a kid. You were different. And all week I could barely function because I thought you were angry with me! Tonks," he said, taking her hand, "I live for the times I get to be with you. And I'm just as emotionally involved as you are."
She managed a small smile though her tears. In the back of her mind, there had been the tiniest seed of fear that he was just using her. "What are we going to do?" she asked, as she wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye.
The tension had been broken. "Honestly?" He laughed. "I have no idea."
"Me neither." They were both smiling. They both knew where the other stood.
Finally Harry suggested tentatively, "How about we just kind of keep things as they are, but try not to get too involved?"
Her eyes widened. "You mean like casual sex, no strings attached kind of thing?"
He shifted slightly. "Well, it doesn't sound so great when you put it that way," he said sarcastically, "but yeah. Let's just go day to day on this. Whatever happens, happens."
"And at the end of the summer.."
"We go our separate ways."
"So it's kind of like a carpe diem thing. A 'gather ye rosebuds while you may' type thing."
"Yeah, basically."
There was silence for a few moments. "Okay," she said. He looked at her in surprise, never thinking that she'd agree to it.
"Okay, then, it's settled." They sealed the deal with a kiss.
Chapter 3
Later that night, Tonks lay awake in bed staring at the dark ceiling, miserably regretting what she'd done earlier that day. She'd slept with Harry. Harry! She was his teacher, for God's sake! She couldn't believe she'd done such a thing. But no matter how much her conscience told her it was wrong, her heart and body told her it was right. Even then, a good twelve hours later, her skin still tingled from his touch. She purposely hadn't showered that night. She didn't want to wash away the feelings. And the scariest part was that she wanted more. She desperately wanted more. He'd given her a taste of something so sweet and tender, and now she craved it. Damn him! He had ruined sex for her forever. She honestly didn't think anyone else could live up to him. Harry with his messy black hair. Harry with his awkward shyness. Harry with his inexperienced sixteen-year-old hands. Hands she longed to have all over her body again. Damn him.
The next day they weren't paired together, to her great relief, for she honestly didn't know how she was going to face him. She hadn't spoken to him since the "event," and she had no idea how he was feeling about it. Their contact since had been limited to mealtimes with the whole group. These events had been extremely awkward for her. She had the feeling that everyone was staring at her and could see right through her, even though, in truth, they detected no difference. Harry was a little quieter than usual, too, and he looked paler. Every so often he'd try to catch her eye across the table, but she avoided his gaze. She was still too confused and simply wasn't ready to face him.
A whole week passed before they were alone together again. Tonks thought that time would have cured things, and would have helped her to move on, but she was wrong. Seven days later she was still in the same spot as she was before. Except worse. The passage of time had only made her want him all the more. All week, when they should have been dissipating, her feelings for Harry were only growing stronger. She didn't kid herself that the feelings were love, but there was no doubt that some deep emotion was involved. There was no denying it. She was powerfully attracted to him. She was sitting on the bed when he came in for practice. She was staring at the floor. He quietly walked over and sat down beside her. They didn't speak for several minutes. Finally, she gathered some courage and spoke. "Harry," she began. "I'm so sorry about last week. I was totally out of line. I can barely live with myself."
He sighed as he played with his hands. "I figured you'd feel that way."
"What way?"
"Regretful." Their eyes met for the first time in a week as he looked up at her. He had a look of forlorn sadness on his face. "I knew I couldn't be any good for you."
She sighed at his lack of understanding. "Harry, that's not it at all!" She lowered her voice to a whisper. "You were wonderful. What we had was just...phenomenal. Powerful. I can't even describe it." He continued to look at her silently, unconvinced. "You were so good that all I want right now is to do it again." He looked up at her again, this time with a ray of hope in his eyes. He slowly leaned forward. Caught in a moment of weakness, she did too. Soon their mouths were at each other again, tasting, feeling. Her fingers went to his hair, and his hands went to her waist, gently caressing. Their tongues met, tentatively at first, rougher as time wore on. For Tonks, it was like coming home. She completely surrendered herself to him, and gave herself up to the longings she'd been having all week. They fell back onto the bed, Harry on top, mouths locked all the while. Things were becoming more heated by the moment. Tonks could barely keep a coherent thought while Harry was kissing her. Kissing her like he could never get enough. But in the back of her mind warning flashes were going off. No matter how much her body wanted to ignore them, she couldn't. She literally had to pry herself away from him. "Harry," she breathed. "This has got to stop." They were both panting from lack of air.
He looked at her, and there was no mistaking the hurt in his eyes. "We have to think logically, Harry! What can become of this? I'm an auror. You're still in school. You've still got two more years left! What happens after you go back to Hogwarts? Tell me that! Maybe you could give this up without any problems, but I don't think I could!" She was starting to cry, as her emotions, which were already just below the surface, began to break free. "I'm already too emotionally attached to you as it is. This might not mean a thing to you, but it would be leading me on."
"Do you think this was just some random shag for me?" He asked, a little anger surfacing in his voice. "Because it's not. You're one of the only people that has treated me like an adult. The others don't tell me anything and act like I'm a kid. You were different. And all week I could barely function because I thought you were angry with me! Tonks," he said, taking her hand, "I live for the times I get to be with you. And I'm just as emotionally involved as you are."
She managed a small smile though her tears. In the back of her mind, there had been the tiniest seed of fear that he was just using her. "What are we going to do?" she asked, as she wiped away a tear from the corner of her eye.
The tension had been broken. "Honestly?" He laughed. "I have no idea."
"Me neither." They were both smiling. They both knew where the other stood.
Finally Harry suggested tentatively, "How about we just kind of keep things as they are, but try not to get too involved?"
Her eyes widened. "You mean like casual sex, no strings attached kind of thing?"
He shifted slightly. "Well, it doesn't sound so great when you put it that way," he said sarcastically, "but yeah. Let's just go day to day on this. Whatever happens, happens."
"And at the end of the summer.."
"We go our separate ways."
"So it's kind of like a carpe diem thing. A 'gather ye rosebuds while you may' type thing."
"Yeah, basically."
There was silence for a few moments. "Okay," she said. He looked at her in surprise, never thinking that she'd agree to it.
"Okay, then, it's settled." They sealed the deal with a kiss.