Chapter 16: Drunkenness Is Bliss

A/N: You little whore! I hate you! I hate you! Tehe, you know I love you, girl! Anyway, I'm here at G-ma's supposedly doing yearbook homework. Who the hell gets homework in yearbook? Me when your staff doesn't do their spreads. Well, at least I have Vinnie. *mumbles about stupid "co-editor"* I need a hug. Also, I hate this chapter. I just thought you would like to know.

Disclaimer:

Me: I own nothing and neither does Christy.

Legolas: Well, don't you kind of own yourselves? Or does Tolkien own you too?

Haldir: *cringes* Scary thought.

Me: Well thanks!

"I've got a lovely bunch of- what was it again? Oh yeah! - coconuts!" I sang at the top of my voice drunkenly. Everyone had long since left me so I was out to find my way to my room by myself. Problem: I was smashed and couldn't remember a thing.

"Hmm… kinda looks like my door. Hey, they all look like my door!" I laughed. I turned the knob and walked right in. Flicking on the lights I had a look around, and guess what? It wasn't my room, but rather Christy's.

"Holy sh-" I screamed. There, in one bed was my best friend and my slave. "Ahhh!!!" I ran away as fast as I could seeing as how you don't run too well when drunk. At the moment though all I wanted to do was find my room.

I don't know exactly how long I ran/stumbled but the next thing I know I'm at another bar. "Well, when in Rome!"

"Hey! Bartender duuuuude! Heeeeey! I wanna beer!"

No one showed up.

Alright, if they want to be jerks who was I to stop them? So instead I watched the karaoke going on. Oddly enough, the men singing looked awfully familiar. Then it hit me like a sack of potatoes.

"Gimli? Gandalf?"

10 pairs of eyes whirled around to meet mine. "Vanessa?" a particularly sexy voice called.

"My name is not 'Vanessa' it's 'Space Chipmunk!'" I laughed.

Aragorn pushed his way through the crowd and came over to me. "Vanessa, what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in bed or something?"

"Well, I would if I knew where my room was! I went looking for it earlier but only found Christy and Haldir in a bed together. I'll have to have a talk with him later…"

Aragorn blinked at my drunken mini-rant and picked me up. "Let's just get you in bed."

"Can't I have one more beer? Pwease…"

"No, I think you've had quite enough for tonight."

"Technically it's not tonight though, it's tomorrow. Therefore I deserve a beer because I've been a good girl."

"I beg to differ," he retorted.

"Hey! At least you don't find me in bed with some stranger I only met 6 hours ago!"

"True," he said thoughtfully. "Here we are." He put me down long enough to unlock the door and get me inside.

"Hey, this is a really nice room," I said looking around. "Wait a minute, this is my room! Either that or these people have really good taste in clothes." I snorted and laughed so hard that my side hurt.

Aragorn rolled his eyes and turned to leave.

"You're not leaving me are you?"

"Yes."

"NO!" I cried and flung myself at his feet. "Don't leave me!"

He sighed and closed the door. "And why, may I ask, can I not leave?"

"Because I'm…uhh… afraid of the dark?"

"No you're not."

"Umm… yes I am?" I smiled guiltily and he looked down at me sternly. "Sheesh, you remind me of my dad when you do that! And anyway, if I can't drink neither can you!"

He sat down next to me on the bed. "I suppose the others will understand if I stay here and not go back. Besides, Gimli sings like a banshee," he replied in a hushed tone.

"Yay!" I huggled (don't ask) him. I then grabbed my PJ's (no, not my Peter Jackson's!) and went into the bathroom to change. I could tell the alcohol was wearing off because I managed to make it into the room without stumbling and falling. Go me!

I saw Aragorn lying on the bed (hands off, ladies! Tehe!) already. "You're on my side," I said, standing over him.

He cocked open an eyes and replied, "that's too bad."

"Move, biotch!" I laughed as I tried to push him over. It was to no avail. "Fine, I'll just sleep on the other side."

He rolled over.

"No that was naughty!" I said in my Sean Connery voice (A/N: Think him in The League of Extraordinary Men). "Alright, if that's how you're gonna be!" I smiled evilly. This was gonna be so much fun.

            ***

"Morning all!" I greeted everyone at breakfast. They all mumbled some sort of response or something. "Nice to see I'm loved," I said sarcastically. "Haldir, slave, go get me breakfast."

He rose from the table after letting out an irritated sigh and I took his place next to Christy.

"That's Haldir's spot," she said to me.

"I know," I replied.

"So move!"

"Naw, I like it here."

The silver-haired elf/tortured one returned after a few minutes carrying a plate of waffles loaded with syrup. He set it down in front of me and forced a smile. "What did you do to it, elf?"

"Nothing," he said, a bit too quickly.

I eyed him warily and started eating.

"I'm tired," Aragorn said. "Thanks to Vanessa."

"Aww! Come on, we're eating!" Merry cried.

"You're such a perv!" I yelled at the hobbit.

Aragorn opened his mouth to make some sort of response but I cut him off. "And you have no one to blame but yourself you know."

            ***

"Should we tell them?" Haldir whispered to Christy.

"Well, not now. They'll find out in time."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure about what?" I asked loudly, interrupting their semi-private conversation or whatever you want to call it.

"Nothing," Christy said hurriedly.

"Riiiight," I muttered.

"Hey! You're the woman from last night!" a strange man cried from the table next to us, pointing at Legolas.

"I'm a male," Legolas sighed.

"Oh," the man sighed, sounding a bit put out.

"Prove it, Leggy!" I shouted. "I agree with the man; you could pass for a woman."

"Vanessa!" he snapped.

"Oh.. I think she's PMSing!"

Legolas tossed his hair, stood up, and stormed out of the cafeteria. "Did I say something wrong?" I laughed.

A/N: God this chapter sux. Humph. Oh well. Oh, and I added the Legolas hair flip just for you guys Christy, Kitty, and Kiehler! Eeee! But Aragorn's is better, ya know. Anyway, goooo Christy! *smacks Aragorn's arse and runs off into the night.*

I would like to thank all the reviewers at this time. Actually, I can't get on-line right now to thank you all individually seeing as how EV1.net is evil and will not let me on-line. But, if you're not me or my meddlesome sister and her friends, and you're reading this, that means I was able to get on-line and update. Duh.