**~~ Hi people, yay reviews, need more! Haha, well, thnx a lot for the
reviews! I read them every day when I get them. Does that answer your
question "Yagirl-123" ???? Ah hah hah hah, im not da sort of person who
would let InuYasha go to hell wit Kikyo....unless I wanted to make this fic
end in a tragedy. BUT I've already wrote too many tragedy fics, so I'll
definitely make this one happy happy happy ^^ !! ....In the END I
mean...for now...it'll be angst. I'll try my best to add some
happiness....of course I will!!!!! Dun worry, jus be patient. Newayz, the
action will rest for now. I dun think InuYasha'd be able to fight in his
state!!!!!!!! DUH. Well, hope you guys like my chapters!~~**
=============Chapter Thirty-Nine=============
Kikyo closed her eyes, ~His heart does not yet wholly belong to me.....But I want to be with him, I don't want to lose my chance.....Have I changed that much, that he can't easily give all his love to me? But even then.....our love was shallow. But still....it was love~
Kikyo held InuYasha's hand, "come....where we can finally be together" Kikyo whispered sadly as she looked into his sad eyes, ~He's thinking about that girl....~
InuYasha looked down at Kikyo, and noticed her sad eyes.
"Kikyo....be happy. We'll finally be together....." he whispered, ~...I'll at least make one person happy....~
Kikyo sadly smiled, pain throbbing in her heart, ~He is forcing himself to follow me.....I wanted him to follow me because he loved me.....not like this~
InuYasha felt his heart sinking, ~I wont back away this time....~ A memory of Kagome flashed through his mind, ~I'm not going to back away!......~
"InuYasha!" a voice loudly cried.
~That voice......~
"Stop, Don't go!"
~That scent......~
"InuYasha....." the voice cried as he felt warm arms wrapping around him.
~The beating of my heart......It only beats like that only for......~
"I'm sorry InuYasha, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I haven't given up on you, you don't make me miserable.....everything I said wasn't true. But if it's your wish to leave with Kikyo. Go. But just know that I'll never hate you no matter what. InuYasha...please don't forget me......" She whispered.
~Kagome.....~
He could feel tears dropping onto his shoulder.
"But...please don't leave me" Kagome begged in a voice of hopelessness.
~She......is the same person I thought she was.....The person I care so much about......She doesn't hate me.......~ InuYasha thought as his heart beated fast,
"Kagome....I wont leave you"
InuYasha quickly looked up, remembering that Kikyo was there. She stared at him in shock and sadness, with icy tears glimmering in her eyes. She choked, trying to keep her weeping inside of her, as she had always done.
"Kikyo! I....I...didn't....."
"You have changed InuYasha.....your heart has changed. Does it no longer belong to me?! WHY CAN'T I HAVE IT?! You gave me the right to have your love! You told me that you loved me! Why did you tell me if you weren't sure! Were the good times we had 50 years ago....does it mean nothing to you?" Kikyo cried in anguish, she started to back away, "Where were you when I needed you most, where were you when I was in pain, where were you when I felt lonely?! Is THAT how someone acts when they are in love? Always with another person while the person he loves SUFFERS?!"
"Kikyo.....I DO love you!!!"
She calmed her emotion down, burying it deep in her heart as she looked icily at InuYasha with her eyes still teary.
"Are you sure InuYasha....are you sure that you love me....then why is it so hard for you to follow me. I wish I knew what I was to you....." She muttered.
"Kikyo..." InuYasha whispered, not knowing what to say. "I can't....just leave Kagome here. I'm....needed here"
"And is my needing you inferior compared to there's?!"
"NO! I'll follow you when the time comes...."
"And when the time does come....wont you have another excuse and another after another! You want to be with her not me!!!" Kikyo said in a cold voice.
"STOP being so selfish!!!! It's not easy for me too, you know!!!!" InuYasha yelled at her, unable to control his frustration.
Kikyo stared at him in shock, "Is it that hard InuYasha....to chose between the person you say you love and the person you told me you just cared for. Or did you tell her a different story? Did you tell Kagome that you loved her and you only cared for me? Moreover.....hated me?"
"He didn't say that!! He loves you...and you know it!" Kagome suddenly said. Her heart ripping in pain from saying the truth from her own mouth, "InuYasha......loves you......not me. He has loved you.....even before he met me and even after he met me. YOU were the only person he thought of......SO STOP THIS ARGUMENT!!"
"Kagome....."
"If I was the only person he thought of everyday. His choice of following me...would have been easy. But I am NOT the only person in his mind! InuYasha, you had never betrayed me 50 years ago....BUT YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME NOW!" Kikyo yelled as she stepped back as her Shini-dama-chuu's wrapped around her. Then she disappeared.
"KIKYO!!" InuYasha cried as he pulled away from Kagome and ran towards the Youkai, but they flew away.
"I didn't....." InuYasha fell on his knees, "Or did I....no.....Kikyo! It's so hard to choose.....Kikyo.....I do love you....KIKYO!!!"
Kagome watched from near as she sadly watched InuYasha. ~I'm alone again.....maybe I shouldn't have stopped him...maybe....he really wanted to go with Kikyo. What if I had.....ruined the chances of InuYasha to become happy.....~
"What have I done...I've hurt Kikyo again...." InuYasha whispered in pain. He felt someone staring at him, he turned to see Kagome staring at him, then she looked away. She looked down at the ground,
"Gomen...."
InuYasha stood up and walked towards Kagome. ~He's going to yell at me....he's definitely going to hate me....~ Kagome thought. But he did the opposite.....he pulled Kagome into his arms and held her tightly.
~You're the only person....that would forgive me......when I do something wrong. Even after what happened with Kikyo.....you stood by me. Seeing that you'd never give up on me......that's all the comfort I need....~
"You don't....hate me?" Kagome asked.
"I can't hate you....and why would I anyway. You haven't done anything wrong"
"You would have been more happy with Kikyo......"
InuYasha let go of Kagome and stepped back, "I don't know anymore....of what would make me happy....I no longer know what to feel. It's all mixed up.....But I guess....I wasn't ready to leave with Kikyo. I'm glad you stopped me. Kikyo deserves a person who she can be content with. She's not with me, she thinks that I don't love her enough.....so....time will tell of what will happen......."
Kagome sadly smiled, ~Accept it Kagome.....you'll never be in his heart. It all belongs to Kikyo.....~
InuYasha sighed, "Just forget about what just happened. This is my problem, not yours" He turned and looked at Kagome, "Why did you come back?"
~Yes.....forget about it~ Kagome thought, as she let out a heavy sigh, "Because you were here, and I wanted to tell you that I was sorry"
"It was all my fault....."
"Wow, for the first time in a long time, you actually apologized!" Kagome teased, trying to lighten the tenseness between them.
"Keh.......Would it have been better for you if I had gone with Kikyo?"
Kagome hit InuYasha across the head, "OH! So now you're re-deciding! Do you know me that little to think it would have been better if you'd left me? Humph"
"Keh, baka, what was that for?! It was only a question!" he said, trying his best to act normal. But inside, he was thinking about Kikyo....and showed all over his face.
Kagome deeply sighed, "You don't have to hide it...."
"Huh? Hide what?"
"Hide your thoughts of Kikyo from me. I've decided not to let it hurt me" Kagome stated.
InuYasha looked straight into her eyes, "You know what I've always wondered and never found out?"
"What?"
"Why you dislike me being with Kikyo so much......."
"I DON'T CARE INUYASHA! OK! IT'S A GIRL THING! You'll never understand...um, InuYasha, let's go back to the hut. You need to get your Haori back on. You'll get a cold, and also you need your wounds bandaged up. You also have to rest so you'd heal" Kagome said quickly, ignoring his question.
InuYasha stared at her in a slight confusion, "I was just joking around..." InuYasha muttered, ~I didn't want to talk seriously about Kikyo with you, cuz I know that mentioning her name to you hurts you~
*****************************
InuYasha lay on the matt in the hut, while the rest, except Kaede, had gone off to go out to the village. They wouldn't let him out, because they said that he needed to rest. And anyway, InuYasha felt his whole body aching. Kaede had stayed incase something went wrong with InuYasha. A pile of bandages soaked in blood lay at the corner of the hut.
InuYasha looked out the window, the rain had stopped. It was now the afternoon. Each breath he took, pained his sore body.
"Kagome....." InuYasha muttered. Memories of Kagome quickly flashed through his mind. ~She'll always be by my side.......~
Kikyo's bitter voice started to echo in his mind....
"Where were you when I needed you most, where were you when I was in pain, where were you when I felt lonely?! Is THAT how someone acts when they are in love? Always with another person while the person he loves SUFFERS?!"
"Is it that hard InuYasha....to chose between the person you say you love and the person you told me you just cared for. Or did you tell her a different story? Did you tell Kagome that you loved her and you only cared for me? Moreover.....hated me?"
InuYasha tightly closed his eyes, "Kikyo......."
~Why....really is it so hard for me to chose.....between the person I love, Kikyo and Kagome....the person I said I only cared for...nothing more. Why do you keep saying that you want all my love when.....I am giving you all the love I can give to you~
His heart suddenly froze, ~Does the other part of my heart......belong to......Kagome.......Am I also......In love with Kagome?~ InuYasha clutched his head, ~No...I'm not in love with Kagome....I can't be....no it can't be. HER? Kagome....I'd never have expected .... It's so obvious now though.....why wasn't I able to see....that I also loved Kagome? Shit......it makes my situation worse......I'm in love with the two people....I have to pick. I can't be with both. But.....how can I be in love with Kagome? Shit.....I'm also in love with the reincarnation of Kikyo. What if that is the reason why I'm in love with Kagome? Because she is Kikyo...In a way. No, that can't be possible. Kagome proved that she was totally different. But....Who do I love more.....~
***** Flashback*****
"InuYasha, you can use the Shikon no Tama to become a human" Kikyo said in a warm voice, her silky black hair blowing in the wind.
"Then.....what about you?" InuYasha asked.
"By using the Shikon no Tama for good, it shall most likely be destroyed. Thus, I would no longer have to protect it.....and I would become an ordinary woman, then we can live together....."
InuYasha gazed over at Kikyo, as they lovingly looked at each other. Then they looked away towards the dawning sun, sitting on the hill under the orange sky......
*****End of Flashback*****
"......But it's Kikyo I love more....isn't it?" InuYasha asked himself with doubt in his voice and mind......especially in his heart ~Isn't it .....shouldn't I love Kikyo more? She was the first person I fell in love with.....so she should be the person I love most, I've loved her longer than I knew Kagome.....~
InuYasha frowned, "But....why does my heart not agree"
InuYasha growled in frustration, ~Kikyo IS the person I love most, she has to be or else it'll all be my fault that Kikyo becomes miserable. I let her love me, and I made her heart vulnerable. I promised to protect her.....and that included her heart~
Kaede looked at InuYasha from the corner of her eyes, ~Finally...InuYasha's heart is clearing up on the person he is going to choose...But even I do not know who it shall be. All I know is that...whoever he chooses.....he'll still lose one of them no matter what. I am now worrying...that InuYasha shall choose Kikyo. Out of love....I do not know. He may choose her out of duty AND love....But if it is Kikyo he is fated to be with, fate cannot be changed.....Unless he chooses the wrong path....Then he would end in tragedy. Now everything has gotten worse now that InuYasha realizes that he has some sort of love for Kagome. It shall be harder for him to choose. I wonder.....how strong that love is...and if he loves her more than Kikyo. But it is most likely not.....he has loved Kikyo for a longer period of time~
Kaede frowned, ~No.....I have also been in love once....And it does not matter on how long you loved someone....Tis the type of love you loved someone by. Kikyo and InuYasha's love was shallow. Is his love for Kagome stronger, truer and deeper? Will it stand through hell, tragedy and betrayal? If Kagome is like Kikyo through reincarnation, will that love not withstand it as Kikyo's did?~
*****************************
After a few hours later, it started to snow again....
Kagome ran into the hut, covered in snow. She looked out the window of the hut,
"SANGO! HOW COULD YOU!" Kagome laughed, "You were supposed to be on my side, not Miroku's! You'll pay, I swear. For going against me and throwing snowballs at me!"
"HAHA! I couldn't resist the temptation!" Sango told Kagome from outside.
"Kaede-baba! InuYasha! Come out and have a snowball fight with us!" Miroku called out.
"Oi! InuYasha is not in the state to have a snowball fight!" Kaede yelled at them, looking down at InuYasha who was sitting on the floor and tapping his fingers on the floor in boredom.
"Then you go out and play" Kagome suggested. Kaede looked at Kagome as if she were mad.
"I have no longer your youth and flexibility to dodge away from attacks and call having a snow ball fight "fun". I think it is simply ridiculous" Kaede muttered.
"Keh, I knew you were an old and weak hag" InuYasha muttered.
"HOW RUDE! I never said that I was weak! You just wait and see InuYasha, I shall go out and get every single one of them!" Kaede muttered as she left the hut, ~I would never be doing this if it weren't for my wanting to leave InuYasha and Kagome to some private time~
*****************************
Kagome glanced over at InuYasha who was gloomily looking down at the floor while he taped his fingers on the floor.
Kagome loudly sighed, "WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!" Kagome said in annoyance, as she looked back at her text book to study.
InuYasha for the first time obeyed and stopped. He muttered a few swear words and lay back on the ground, staring at the ceiling.
~Kikyo........~
Kagome looked at InuYasha, "why do you look so depressed?"
"Huh? Oh...nothing....." InuYasha quietly muttered, but what he was thinking about was written all over his face.
"You're thinking about Kikyo...." Kagome muttered gloomily, "as usual"
"What do you mean as usual.." InuYasha muttered, "I have a life, you know. I'm not like some sick love puppy, though you make me sound like one"
"You look pretty depressed" Kagome whispered sadly. ~ I want InuYasha to be happy~ Kagome looked away, "why is it so hard for you to give your whole heart to Kikyo. You do love her don't you......"
"Yah...." InuYasha forced out. It felt terrible to say that he loved Kikyo in front of Kagome....it always had been for some reason. But now he knew why...he was telling another person he loved that he loved someone else as well.....
"Don't worry....time......will give you time to give your whole heart to Kikyo" Kagome whispered.
"Don't say that....."
Kagome looked up in question and a bit of shock.
"Don't say things that hurts you.....Even....time might not work" he muttered.
"You love her...and love grows. You'll see later on, that you love her with all your heart. Then you'll be together with her and be happy"
"WILL YOU.....STOP TELLING ME THIS!!!!" InuYasha yelled. Kagome stared up at him, her heart beating painfully fast from his sudden anger and that he had shouted at her when she had been trying to help.
He held his hands into a fist, his heart was beating fast, "Kikyo wants all my love. She has most of it.....but then you're......asking me to.....take the space my heart has for.... you......and give it to Kikyo. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! With you in my heart, my heart can't fully belong to Kikyo!!!"
**~~ O ho ho ^_~ Didn't know that I would make InuYasha tell his feelings this way, did you? Thought that I would make it all fluffy and happy and make him go "I love you Kagome with ALL of my heart!" well......nope. That's not life. InuYasha still has confusion in his heart now of who it is he TRULY loves. Kagome or Kikyo(-_-). Hmmmmmm.....Dun worry, I'll jus say 4 words to you to make you guys ease down "I'm an InuKago fan" Oi, sorry if this chapter kinda sucked, I did it without reading it over(but I did spell check it) but I didn't like...take the crappy stuff out and add the good stuff in...n stuff. So yah. GOMEN ^^ KK, Sayonara. N PLZZZZZZZZZz review, I live for it as SOME people live for authors to update a chapter. KK? ~~**
=============Chapter Thirty-Nine=============
Kikyo closed her eyes, ~His heart does not yet wholly belong to me.....But I want to be with him, I don't want to lose my chance.....Have I changed that much, that he can't easily give all his love to me? But even then.....our love was shallow. But still....it was love~
Kikyo held InuYasha's hand, "come....where we can finally be together" Kikyo whispered sadly as she looked into his sad eyes, ~He's thinking about that girl....~
InuYasha looked down at Kikyo, and noticed her sad eyes.
"Kikyo....be happy. We'll finally be together....." he whispered, ~...I'll at least make one person happy....~
Kikyo sadly smiled, pain throbbing in her heart, ~He is forcing himself to follow me.....I wanted him to follow me because he loved me.....not like this~
InuYasha felt his heart sinking, ~I wont back away this time....~ A memory of Kagome flashed through his mind, ~I'm not going to back away!......~
"InuYasha!" a voice loudly cried.
~That voice......~
"Stop, Don't go!"
~That scent......~
"InuYasha....." the voice cried as he felt warm arms wrapping around him.
~The beating of my heart......It only beats like that only for......~
"I'm sorry InuYasha, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean what I said. I haven't given up on you, you don't make me miserable.....everything I said wasn't true. But if it's your wish to leave with Kikyo. Go. But just know that I'll never hate you no matter what. InuYasha...please don't forget me......" She whispered.
~Kagome.....~
He could feel tears dropping onto his shoulder.
"But...please don't leave me" Kagome begged in a voice of hopelessness.
~She......is the same person I thought she was.....The person I care so much about......She doesn't hate me.......~ InuYasha thought as his heart beated fast,
"Kagome....I wont leave you"
InuYasha quickly looked up, remembering that Kikyo was there. She stared at him in shock and sadness, with icy tears glimmering in her eyes. She choked, trying to keep her weeping inside of her, as she had always done.
"Kikyo! I....I...didn't....."
"You have changed InuYasha.....your heart has changed. Does it no longer belong to me?! WHY CAN'T I HAVE IT?! You gave me the right to have your love! You told me that you loved me! Why did you tell me if you weren't sure! Were the good times we had 50 years ago....does it mean nothing to you?" Kikyo cried in anguish, she started to back away, "Where were you when I needed you most, where were you when I was in pain, where were you when I felt lonely?! Is THAT how someone acts when they are in love? Always with another person while the person he loves SUFFERS?!"
"Kikyo.....I DO love you!!!"
She calmed her emotion down, burying it deep in her heart as she looked icily at InuYasha with her eyes still teary.
"Are you sure InuYasha....are you sure that you love me....then why is it so hard for you to follow me. I wish I knew what I was to you....." She muttered.
"Kikyo..." InuYasha whispered, not knowing what to say. "I can't....just leave Kagome here. I'm....needed here"
"And is my needing you inferior compared to there's?!"
"NO! I'll follow you when the time comes...."
"And when the time does come....wont you have another excuse and another after another! You want to be with her not me!!!" Kikyo said in a cold voice.
"STOP being so selfish!!!! It's not easy for me too, you know!!!!" InuYasha yelled at her, unable to control his frustration.
Kikyo stared at him in shock, "Is it that hard InuYasha....to chose between the person you say you love and the person you told me you just cared for. Or did you tell her a different story? Did you tell Kagome that you loved her and you only cared for me? Moreover.....hated me?"
"He didn't say that!! He loves you...and you know it!" Kagome suddenly said. Her heart ripping in pain from saying the truth from her own mouth, "InuYasha......loves you......not me. He has loved you.....even before he met me and even after he met me. YOU were the only person he thought of......SO STOP THIS ARGUMENT!!"
"Kagome....."
"If I was the only person he thought of everyday. His choice of following me...would have been easy. But I am NOT the only person in his mind! InuYasha, you had never betrayed me 50 years ago....BUT YOU HAVE BETRAYED ME NOW!" Kikyo yelled as she stepped back as her Shini-dama-chuu's wrapped around her. Then she disappeared.
"KIKYO!!" InuYasha cried as he pulled away from Kagome and ran towards the Youkai, but they flew away.
"I didn't....." InuYasha fell on his knees, "Or did I....no.....Kikyo! It's so hard to choose.....Kikyo.....I do love you....KIKYO!!!"
Kagome watched from near as she sadly watched InuYasha. ~I'm alone again.....maybe I shouldn't have stopped him...maybe....he really wanted to go with Kikyo. What if I had.....ruined the chances of InuYasha to become happy.....~
"What have I done...I've hurt Kikyo again...." InuYasha whispered in pain. He felt someone staring at him, he turned to see Kagome staring at him, then she looked away. She looked down at the ground,
"Gomen...."
InuYasha stood up and walked towards Kagome. ~He's going to yell at me....he's definitely going to hate me....~ Kagome thought. But he did the opposite.....he pulled Kagome into his arms and held her tightly.
~You're the only person....that would forgive me......when I do something wrong. Even after what happened with Kikyo.....you stood by me. Seeing that you'd never give up on me......that's all the comfort I need....~
"You don't....hate me?" Kagome asked.
"I can't hate you....and why would I anyway. You haven't done anything wrong"
"You would have been more happy with Kikyo......"
InuYasha let go of Kagome and stepped back, "I don't know anymore....of what would make me happy....I no longer know what to feel. It's all mixed up.....But I guess....I wasn't ready to leave with Kikyo. I'm glad you stopped me. Kikyo deserves a person who she can be content with. She's not with me, she thinks that I don't love her enough.....so....time will tell of what will happen......."
Kagome sadly smiled, ~Accept it Kagome.....you'll never be in his heart. It all belongs to Kikyo.....~
InuYasha sighed, "Just forget about what just happened. This is my problem, not yours" He turned and looked at Kagome, "Why did you come back?"
~Yes.....forget about it~ Kagome thought, as she let out a heavy sigh, "Because you were here, and I wanted to tell you that I was sorry"
"It was all my fault....."
"Wow, for the first time in a long time, you actually apologized!" Kagome teased, trying to lighten the tenseness between them.
"Keh.......Would it have been better for you if I had gone with Kikyo?"
Kagome hit InuYasha across the head, "OH! So now you're re-deciding! Do you know me that little to think it would have been better if you'd left me? Humph"
"Keh, baka, what was that for?! It was only a question!" he said, trying his best to act normal. But inside, he was thinking about Kikyo....and showed all over his face.
Kagome deeply sighed, "You don't have to hide it...."
"Huh? Hide what?"
"Hide your thoughts of Kikyo from me. I've decided not to let it hurt me" Kagome stated.
InuYasha looked straight into her eyes, "You know what I've always wondered and never found out?"
"What?"
"Why you dislike me being with Kikyo so much......."
"I DON'T CARE INUYASHA! OK! IT'S A GIRL THING! You'll never understand...um, InuYasha, let's go back to the hut. You need to get your Haori back on. You'll get a cold, and also you need your wounds bandaged up. You also have to rest so you'd heal" Kagome said quickly, ignoring his question.
InuYasha stared at her in a slight confusion, "I was just joking around..." InuYasha muttered, ~I didn't want to talk seriously about Kikyo with you, cuz I know that mentioning her name to you hurts you~
*****************************
InuYasha lay on the matt in the hut, while the rest, except Kaede, had gone off to go out to the village. They wouldn't let him out, because they said that he needed to rest. And anyway, InuYasha felt his whole body aching. Kaede had stayed incase something went wrong with InuYasha. A pile of bandages soaked in blood lay at the corner of the hut.
InuYasha looked out the window, the rain had stopped. It was now the afternoon. Each breath he took, pained his sore body.
"Kagome....." InuYasha muttered. Memories of Kagome quickly flashed through his mind. ~She'll always be by my side.......~
Kikyo's bitter voice started to echo in his mind....
"Where were you when I needed you most, where were you when I was in pain, where were you when I felt lonely?! Is THAT how someone acts when they are in love? Always with another person while the person he loves SUFFERS?!"
"Is it that hard InuYasha....to chose between the person you say you love and the person you told me you just cared for. Or did you tell her a different story? Did you tell Kagome that you loved her and you only cared for me? Moreover.....hated me?"
InuYasha tightly closed his eyes, "Kikyo......."
~Why....really is it so hard for me to chose.....between the person I love, Kikyo and Kagome....the person I said I only cared for...nothing more. Why do you keep saying that you want all my love when.....I am giving you all the love I can give to you~
His heart suddenly froze, ~Does the other part of my heart......belong to......Kagome.......Am I also......In love with Kagome?~ InuYasha clutched his head, ~No...I'm not in love with Kagome....I can't be....no it can't be. HER? Kagome....I'd never have expected .... It's so obvious now though.....why wasn't I able to see....that I also loved Kagome? Shit......it makes my situation worse......I'm in love with the two people....I have to pick. I can't be with both. But.....how can I be in love with Kagome? Shit.....I'm also in love with the reincarnation of Kikyo. What if that is the reason why I'm in love with Kagome? Because she is Kikyo...In a way. No, that can't be possible. Kagome proved that she was totally different. But....Who do I love more.....~
***** Flashback*****
"InuYasha, you can use the Shikon no Tama to become a human" Kikyo said in a warm voice, her silky black hair blowing in the wind.
"Then.....what about you?" InuYasha asked.
"By using the Shikon no Tama for good, it shall most likely be destroyed. Thus, I would no longer have to protect it.....and I would become an ordinary woman, then we can live together....."
InuYasha gazed over at Kikyo, as they lovingly looked at each other. Then they looked away towards the dawning sun, sitting on the hill under the orange sky......
*****End of Flashback*****
"......But it's Kikyo I love more....isn't it?" InuYasha asked himself with doubt in his voice and mind......especially in his heart ~Isn't it .....shouldn't I love Kikyo more? She was the first person I fell in love with.....so she should be the person I love most, I've loved her longer than I knew Kagome.....~
InuYasha frowned, "But....why does my heart not agree"
InuYasha growled in frustration, ~Kikyo IS the person I love most, she has to be or else it'll all be my fault that Kikyo becomes miserable. I let her love me, and I made her heart vulnerable. I promised to protect her.....and that included her heart~
Kaede looked at InuYasha from the corner of her eyes, ~Finally...InuYasha's heart is clearing up on the person he is going to choose...But even I do not know who it shall be. All I know is that...whoever he chooses.....he'll still lose one of them no matter what. I am now worrying...that InuYasha shall choose Kikyo. Out of love....I do not know. He may choose her out of duty AND love....But if it is Kikyo he is fated to be with, fate cannot be changed.....Unless he chooses the wrong path....Then he would end in tragedy. Now everything has gotten worse now that InuYasha realizes that he has some sort of love for Kagome. It shall be harder for him to choose. I wonder.....how strong that love is...and if he loves her more than Kikyo. But it is most likely not.....he has loved Kikyo for a longer period of time~
Kaede frowned, ~No.....I have also been in love once....And it does not matter on how long you loved someone....Tis the type of love you loved someone by. Kikyo and InuYasha's love was shallow. Is his love for Kagome stronger, truer and deeper? Will it stand through hell, tragedy and betrayal? If Kagome is like Kikyo through reincarnation, will that love not withstand it as Kikyo's did?~
*****************************
After a few hours later, it started to snow again....
Kagome ran into the hut, covered in snow. She looked out the window of the hut,
"SANGO! HOW COULD YOU!" Kagome laughed, "You were supposed to be on my side, not Miroku's! You'll pay, I swear. For going against me and throwing snowballs at me!"
"HAHA! I couldn't resist the temptation!" Sango told Kagome from outside.
"Kaede-baba! InuYasha! Come out and have a snowball fight with us!" Miroku called out.
"Oi! InuYasha is not in the state to have a snowball fight!" Kaede yelled at them, looking down at InuYasha who was sitting on the floor and tapping his fingers on the floor in boredom.
"Then you go out and play" Kagome suggested. Kaede looked at Kagome as if she were mad.
"I have no longer your youth and flexibility to dodge away from attacks and call having a snow ball fight "fun". I think it is simply ridiculous" Kaede muttered.
"Keh, I knew you were an old and weak hag" InuYasha muttered.
"HOW RUDE! I never said that I was weak! You just wait and see InuYasha, I shall go out and get every single one of them!" Kaede muttered as she left the hut, ~I would never be doing this if it weren't for my wanting to leave InuYasha and Kagome to some private time~
*****************************
Kagome glanced over at InuYasha who was gloomily looking down at the floor while he taped his fingers on the floor.
Kagome loudly sighed, "WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT!" Kagome said in annoyance, as she looked back at her text book to study.
InuYasha for the first time obeyed and stopped. He muttered a few swear words and lay back on the ground, staring at the ceiling.
~Kikyo........~
Kagome looked at InuYasha, "why do you look so depressed?"
"Huh? Oh...nothing....." InuYasha quietly muttered, but what he was thinking about was written all over his face.
"You're thinking about Kikyo...." Kagome muttered gloomily, "as usual"
"What do you mean as usual.." InuYasha muttered, "I have a life, you know. I'm not like some sick love puppy, though you make me sound like one"
"You look pretty depressed" Kagome whispered sadly. ~ I want InuYasha to be happy~ Kagome looked away, "why is it so hard for you to give your whole heart to Kikyo. You do love her don't you......"
"Yah...." InuYasha forced out. It felt terrible to say that he loved Kikyo in front of Kagome....it always had been for some reason. But now he knew why...he was telling another person he loved that he loved someone else as well.....
"Don't worry....time......will give you time to give your whole heart to Kikyo" Kagome whispered.
"Don't say that....."
Kagome looked up in question and a bit of shock.
"Don't say things that hurts you.....Even....time might not work" he muttered.
"You love her...and love grows. You'll see later on, that you love her with all your heart. Then you'll be together with her and be happy"
"WILL YOU.....STOP TELLING ME THIS!!!!" InuYasha yelled. Kagome stared up at him, her heart beating painfully fast from his sudden anger and that he had shouted at her when she had been trying to help.
He held his hands into a fist, his heart was beating fast, "Kikyo wants all my love. She has most of it.....but then you're......asking me to.....take the space my heart has for.... you......and give it to Kikyo. IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?! With you in my heart, my heart can't fully belong to Kikyo!!!"
**~~ O ho ho ^_~ Didn't know that I would make InuYasha tell his feelings this way, did you? Thought that I would make it all fluffy and happy and make him go "I love you Kagome with ALL of my heart!" well......nope. That's not life. InuYasha still has confusion in his heart now of who it is he TRULY loves. Kagome or Kikyo(-_-). Hmmmmmm.....Dun worry, I'll jus say 4 words to you to make you guys ease down "I'm an InuKago fan" Oi, sorry if this chapter kinda sucked, I did it without reading it over(but I did spell check it) but I didn't like...take the crappy stuff out and add the good stuff in...n stuff. So yah. GOMEN ^^ KK, Sayonara. N PLZZZZZZZZZz review, I live for it as SOME people live for authors to update a chapter. KK? ~~**