**~~ Konichewa, OMG, it's almost Xmas!!!!!! YUPPY!!! Well, hope you guys
like my fic so ar. PLZ! Tell me how you like it! Less n less ppl are
reviewing my fic it seems!!! WAAAAA. I'm sorry, but I try to make this fic
as InuYasha as possible, so bear with me with the parts wit Kikyo in it.
Jus be happy that I'm a Kagome and InuYasha writer. A love triangle, full
of angst ^_^* Plz review!!!!! ~~**
=============Chapter Forty-One =============
Two days had passed, InuYasha and Kagome acted as if nothing had happened. InuYasha's wound was slowly beginning to heal.
InuYasha walked outside from the hut. The cold wind blew coldly against his skin.
He walked through the snow, as it crunched beneath his steps.
"InuYasha!" A voice called from behind him. He turned to see Kagome all bundled up, running towards him. Her face pink from the cold.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked.
"I could ask the same for you"
"....I just needed some fresh air"
"Oh, I see....are you feeling better?"
InuYasha looked away, "I really don't get how you could be so nice to me"
She gave him a strange expression, "is that some trick question? Why wouldn't I be nice to you?"
"I ....treat you so bad"
"Quit your depressing talk, InuYasha. You don't make me feel bad. Without you, I'd feel so lonely and sad, now knowing that there's something better in my life....you"
InuYasha sighed, "me? A half demon?"
"I really don't get why you're so against being a half demon....You're really strong, why would you want to become a full youkai. Why do you want to become one in the first place?"
"Cuz I want......." InuYasha stopped talking, ~Why do I want to become one in the first place......Have I changed that much....That becoming stronger...isn't that desirable? Long ago, I wanted to become a Youkai to be able to be more strong...so that I'd be able to kill stronger Youkais......but now.....if I do become one..I may end up killing someone I care for...Everything is changing.....my heart especially~
"I still have the same heart as before, I want to become stronger than I am"
"But.....InuYasha......I like you as you are" Kagome whispered, "if you change, you won't be the person I....know"
~The person I love~
InuYasha looked at Kagome, his heart beated fast, ~Becoming a full Youkai means that I'll no longer have a human heart....I'll no longer even know Kagome....~
"Huh" Kagome looked down at the snow to see a white ribbon.
InuYasha followed her gaze, felt his heart freeze, as he picked up the white ribbon ~That ribbon...Doesn't it belong to..~
InuYasha looked up to see someone standing on the hill from afar. InuYasha had a flashback of the time he and Kikyo had sat peacefully together there under the sunset.
"Um..." InuYasha looked at Kagome vacantly, "I have to go check something out"
"Hm....Ok....I'll be in the hut with Sango and the rest" Kagome said, looking at InuYasha strangely.
As soon as Kagome turned her back to walk away, InuYasha sped away towards the figure standing up on the hill.
As he got nearer, his heart started to beat faster.
**Flashback**
"InuYasha, you can use the Shikon no Tama to become a human" Kikyo said in a warm voice, her silky black hair blowing in the wind.
"Then.....what about you?" InuYasha asked.
**End of Flashback**
InuYasha ran up the hill, the figure getting clearer.
**Flashback**
"By using the Shikon no Tama for good, it shall most likely be destroyed. Thus, I would no longer have to protect it.....and I would become an ordinary woman, then we can live together....."
InuYasha gazed over at Kikyo, as they lovingly looked at each other. Then they looked away towards the dawning sun, sitting on the hill under the orange sky......
**End of Flashback**
InuYasha reached the top of the hill as he slowly walked towards the figure,
"Then we can live together......" her voice echoed in his mind.
InuYasha stood in front of Kikyo, her black silky hair blowing in the wind, like last time.
"Kikyo......" InuYasha said under his breath.
Kikyo looked up at InuYasha, to reveal a pale, icy face. ~It has become a habit of mines....to come visit this hill, to remember that you still love me~
"Kikyo, you shouldn't be out here. You look tired and sick"
"InuYasha...I will not rest, or be happy until I'm with you. Your life belongs to me. You have wounded my heart, you have turned it into ice that will never be able to melt" she said emotionlessly.
"Kikyo......"
"I can feel it, the end is nearing. The shikon jewel will soon be restored. Naraku is getting stronger, but what will you do after everything is over, that is, if you are still alive then. Will you use the Shikon Jewel if you possess it, to become a full Youkai. Will you run to me at the end, or the other girl. You do not have forever to decide"
"Kikyo...I..."
"You don't have to answer me now. You still have a bit of time. But you'll never be able to melt my heart as you had done 50 years ago. You have left my heart a block of ice, a scar that can never be removed. A heart that has shattered, never to be able to become a whole again"
InuYasha stared at Kikyo who was walking away from him, leaving nothing but footprints.
The ribbon he held in his hand blew away in the wind. He stared blankly at the snow,
"I will not rest, or be happy until I'm with you. Your life belongs to me. You have wounded my heart, you have turned it into ice that will never be able to melt" Kikyo's voice echoed hauntingly in his mind.
~Anyone I get to love...suffers cuz of me~ InuYasha tightly gripped his hands into his fist, as blood dripped from his palm as his claws dug into his skin.
InuYasha saw the blood spreading like a thin string on the white snow.
"Why is it so hard to chose......isn't it Kikyo the one that I love most"
InuYasha tightly shut his eyes, ~Kagome.....I know she cares for me. She said to forget about my love with her in order to give Kikyo my whole heart. I know that she sacrificed it for me....I just know it. But I'm gunu have to...fall out of love with her. But how......It's best that I don't love her, by loving Kikyo, look what's happened to her. I don't know how I'm going to be able to bear it if Kagome were to turn out like her. A dark wandering soul. I have to get away from her~
"InuYasha!" Kagome's voice called out from behind him, he could her running towards him,
~But how can I escape her when she'll never leave my side...And for how long can I stay away from her, with a heart that wants to be near her~
"I was worried about you....Are you alright?" Kagome asked, as her eyes caught the string of blood spreading across the red snow.
~I don't want to hurt you Kagome.....~
"What happened?" Kagome asked in concern.
~I wont be able to stand it if you become like what Kikyo has become....~
"Is there anything I can do? InuYasha what's wrong?!" Kagome asked desperately, getting more worried.
~This will hurt......but it'll hurt more if I don't hurt you now~
"InuYasha.....I want to help!!!!!!"
~This is for your own good......~
"Kagome...." InuYasha whispered.
~If I don't say this, when the time comes when I'm going to have to chose Kikyo......you'll feel betrayed. I've betrayed enough people. It'll hurt less this way........~
Kagome walked up to him and looked deeply into his eyes and touched his cold cheeks...He felt his mouth unable to say the words he was going to say. They wouldn't come out, he looked into her warm, caring.....loving eyes.
InuYasha tightly closed his eyes and looked away,
~Even though I'm lying..and it hurts to tell you this, like a cold knife piercing into my heart. This is for you Kagome, this will be the last time I'll ever hurt you again.....The last time you look warmly like that at me....The last time you'll care for me.....you'll hate me for this, and then I'll no longer have any hearts to break, a heart to betray. I love you..that's why I'm doing this.....It'd be better if you hated me, then I can't hurt you that way......Kagome, even though I tell you this lie so easily, it'll be .....really hard to make it come true~
"Kagome......All of my heart will belong to Kikyo....so....I no longer love you"
**~~ Eh heh heh heh, sorry for InuYasha acting like an ass ^^ Gomen. Action is coming up soon. Will InuYasha's betrayal shake Kagome's love for him? Will her love change fast from love to hatred as Kikyo's had done? How will InuYasha react...HMmmmmm. LOL, please read and review ^^ Sorry that this chapter was short! I'll try to make it as long as possible. Sayonara !!~~**
=============Chapter Forty-One =============
Two days had passed, InuYasha and Kagome acted as if nothing had happened. InuYasha's wound was slowly beginning to heal.
InuYasha walked outside from the hut. The cold wind blew coldly against his skin.
He walked through the snow, as it crunched beneath his steps.
"InuYasha!" A voice called from behind him. He turned to see Kagome all bundled up, running towards him. Her face pink from the cold.
"What are you doing out here?" he asked.
"I could ask the same for you"
"....I just needed some fresh air"
"Oh, I see....are you feeling better?"
InuYasha looked away, "I really don't get how you could be so nice to me"
She gave him a strange expression, "is that some trick question? Why wouldn't I be nice to you?"
"I ....treat you so bad"
"Quit your depressing talk, InuYasha. You don't make me feel bad. Without you, I'd feel so lonely and sad, now knowing that there's something better in my life....you"
InuYasha sighed, "me? A half demon?"
"I really don't get why you're so against being a half demon....You're really strong, why would you want to become a full youkai. Why do you want to become one in the first place?"
"Cuz I want......." InuYasha stopped talking, ~Why do I want to become one in the first place......Have I changed that much....That becoming stronger...isn't that desirable? Long ago, I wanted to become a Youkai to be able to be more strong...so that I'd be able to kill stronger Youkais......but now.....if I do become one..I may end up killing someone I care for...Everything is changing.....my heart especially~
"I still have the same heart as before, I want to become stronger than I am"
"But.....InuYasha......I like you as you are" Kagome whispered, "if you change, you won't be the person I....know"
~The person I love~
InuYasha looked at Kagome, his heart beated fast, ~Becoming a full Youkai means that I'll no longer have a human heart....I'll no longer even know Kagome....~
"Huh" Kagome looked down at the snow to see a white ribbon.
InuYasha followed her gaze, felt his heart freeze, as he picked up the white ribbon ~That ribbon...Doesn't it belong to..~
InuYasha looked up to see someone standing on the hill from afar. InuYasha had a flashback of the time he and Kikyo had sat peacefully together there under the sunset.
"Um..." InuYasha looked at Kagome vacantly, "I have to go check something out"
"Hm....Ok....I'll be in the hut with Sango and the rest" Kagome said, looking at InuYasha strangely.
As soon as Kagome turned her back to walk away, InuYasha sped away towards the figure standing up on the hill.
As he got nearer, his heart started to beat faster.
**Flashback**
"InuYasha, you can use the Shikon no Tama to become a human" Kikyo said in a warm voice, her silky black hair blowing in the wind.
"Then.....what about you?" InuYasha asked.
**End of Flashback**
InuYasha ran up the hill, the figure getting clearer.
**Flashback**
"By using the Shikon no Tama for good, it shall most likely be destroyed. Thus, I would no longer have to protect it.....and I would become an ordinary woman, then we can live together....."
InuYasha gazed over at Kikyo, as they lovingly looked at each other. Then they looked away towards the dawning sun, sitting on the hill under the orange sky......
**End of Flashback**
InuYasha reached the top of the hill as he slowly walked towards the figure,
"Then we can live together......" her voice echoed in his mind.
InuYasha stood in front of Kikyo, her black silky hair blowing in the wind, like last time.
"Kikyo......" InuYasha said under his breath.
Kikyo looked up at InuYasha, to reveal a pale, icy face. ~It has become a habit of mines....to come visit this hill, to remember that you still love me~
"Kikyo, you shouldn't be out here. You look tired and sick"
"InuYasha...I will not rest, or be happy until I'm with you. Your life belongs to me. You have wounded my heart, you have turned it into ice that will never be able to melt" she said emotionlessly.
"Kikyo......"
"I can feel it, the end is nearing. The shikon jewel will soon be restored. Naraku is getting stronger, but what will you do after everything is over, that is, if you are still alive then. Will you use the Shikon Jewel if you possess it, to become a full Youkai. Will you run to me at the end, or the other girl. You do not have forever to decide"
"Kikyo...I..."
"You don't have to answer me now. You still have a bit of time. But you'll never be able to melt my heart as you had done 50 years ago. You have left my heart a block of ice, a scar that can never be removed. A heart that has shattered, never to be able to become a whole again"
InuYasha stared at Kikyo who was walking away from him, leaving nothing but footprints.
The ribbon he held in his hand blew away in the wind. He stared blankly at the snow,
"I will not rest, or be happy until I'm with you. Your life belongs to me. You have wounded my heart, you have turned it into ice that will never be able to melt" Kikyo's voice echoed hauntingly in his mind.
~Anyone I get to love...suffers cuz of me~ InuYasha tightly gripped his hands into his fist, as blood dripped from his palm as his claws dug into his skin.
InuYasha saw the blood spreading like a thin string on the white snow.
"Why is it so hard to chose......isn't it Kikyo the one that I love most"
InuYasha tightly shut his eyes, ~Kagome.....I know she cares for me. She said to forget about my love with her in order to give Kikyo my whole heart. I know that she sacrificed it for me....I just know it. But I'm gunu have to...fall out of love with her. But how......It's best that I don't love her, by loving Kikyo, look what's happened to her. I don't know how I'm going to be able to bear it if Kagome were to turn out like her. A dark wandering soul. I have to get away from her~
"InuYasha!" Kagome's voice called out from behind him, he could her running towards him,
~But how can I escape her when she'll never leave my side...And for how long can I stay away from her, with a heart that wants to be near her~
"I was worried about you....Are you alright?" Kagome asked, as her eyes caught the string of blood spreading across the red snow.
~I don't want to hurt you Kagome.....~
"What happened?" Kagome asked in concern.
~I wont be able to stand it if you become like what Kikyo has become....~
"Is there anything I can do? InuYasha what's wrong?!" Kagome asked desperately, getting more worried.
~This will hurt......but it'll hurt more if I don't hurt you now~
"InuYasha.....I want to help!!!!!!"
~This is for your own good......~
"Kagome...." InuYasha whispered.
~If I don't say this, when the time comes when I'm going to have to chose Kikyo......you'll feel betrayed. I've betrayed enough people. It'll hurt less this way........~
Kagome walked up to him and looked deeply into his eyes and touched his cold cheeks...He felt his mouth unable to say the words he was going to say. They wouldn't come out, he looked into her warm, caring.....loving eyes.
InuYasha tightly closed his eyes and looked away,
~Even though I'm lying..and it hurts to tell you this, like a cold knife piercing into my heart. This is for you Kagome, this will be the last time I'll ever hurt you again.....The last time you look warmly like that at me....The last time you'll care for me.....you'll hate me for this, and then I'll no longer have any hearts to break, a heart to betray. I love you..that's why I'm doing this.....It'd be better if you hated me, then I can't hurt you that way......Kagome, even though I tell you this lie so easily, it'll be .....really hard to make it come true~
"Kagome......All of my heart will belong to Kikyo....so....I no longer love you"
**~~ Eh heh heh heh, sorry for InuYasha acting like an ass ^^ Gomen. Action is coming up soon. Will InuYasha's betrayal shake Kagome's love for him? Will her love change fast from love to hatred as Kikyo's had done? How will InuYasha react...HMmmmmm. LOL, please read and review ^^ Sorry that this chapter was short! I'll try to make it as long as possible. Sayonara !!~~**