Chapter 23
At the end of shift, Sara reluctantly packed away her files and sorted through the stack of phone messages she wanted to return. Like the amount of gifts, it was growing shorter each night. Deciding it was too early to call, she set aside most of the messages for the weekend.
Six messages, though, caught her eye. They were from the Hernandez family. Apparently, they never gave Darby permission to speak to Teresa. The reporter had sneaked in when her parents went to eat lunch after she had interviewed them.
Knowing that the girl's family hadn't talked about the what had happened on the bus made Sara feel a little better. She had been hurt when she saw the paper. That was an experience that she would have preferred to remain a secret. It had seemed like Teresa's parents understood it was a difficult subject for her, and they didn't even know the entire truth.
She knew she'd never forget what happened on that bus, but she had hoped to keep it private. Now everyone else would keep reminding her of it. To make matters worse, the news article painted her in a heroic light. Despite the facts, Sara doubted she'd ever see the incident that way.
The later messages from Teresa's parents just urged her to call. She figured they probably wanted to apologize. That was an emotional roller coaster she wasn't ready to face right now. The upcoming award ceremony was going to be taxing enough. Folding the messages, she packed them into her bag, along with her new - if somewhat battered - pencils.
She smiled sadly as she put them away. That simple act of kindness after her curt behavior had been one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her. Considering the source, it was all the more poignant.
Unfortunately, she'd have to repay him with more pain. Sara knew that it was difficult for Grissom to open up to her, yet he had. Even after the number of times she'd hurt him, he hadn't pulled back. Now, after he had exposed himself, she would have to turn him away. She didn't know why Grissom was triggering her anger, but until she could control it, she'd needed to keep him at a distance. She cared too much to continue to hurt him. But would he understand?
Suddenly, Sara paused. Had Grissom been trying to protect her, by pushing her away? He had hurt her occasionally with his behavior; maybe he had realized that he was doing so, and kept a distance to prevent himself from hurting her more.
If so, it probably backfired. The distance on top of the pain hurt worse. Of course, she had had no idea why he had behaved the way he did. She'd at least make sure Grissom knew why she needed to do this.
Grabbing the last of her things, she headed off to find her supervisor. She should tell him right away, but that would be an intense scene. Who knew how long it would take her to regain her composure afterwards? It would be better to wait until after the awards ceremony.
She quickly found Grissom, struggling in the locker room to get his tie into a position which looked professional without choking off his air supply. The normally stoic scientist looked comical as he lost a battle with the strip of silk. She chuckled softly at the sight.
Any trace of humor disappeared when he turned angrily towards the door. Grissom quickly smiled when he saw who it was, but not before she saw the look of aggravation in his eyes. She returned the smile nervously before breaking eye contact and wrapping her arms around herself.
After an awkward silence, she took a deep breath and walked over to the row of lockers. Leaning against the last one, she gave him an apologetic smile. "You know, that's just not fair."
Grissom eyed her cautiously. Mobley had called him earlier to tell him that the photographer Sara confronted at the church had received three death threats during the night. This would only aggravate the media pressure on her and that fact was causing his stomach to churn. The laughter had caught him by surprise and hadn't sat well with his mood.
He regretted his reaction the moment he realized who was laughing. Grissom hoped he hadn't upset her. Still, she seemed nervous, rather than angry. He decided to follow her lead. "What isn't fair?"
"You guys can just change a tie and pass it off as a new outfit. We have to completely change clothes."
He returned her smile, realizing she was trying to lighten the mood again. "Spoken like someone who's never had to wear a tie," he said, fidgeting with the material again. "And I am wearing a clean shirt."
"Trade you a tie for hose and heels any day," she said, giving him a shy smile.
"I'll pass, thanks."
"Smart man," Sara laughed, looking around to see if anyone else was in the room.
"I'll be done in a minute if you want to change," he offered.
"Always the gentleman. No, thanks. I'm going to see my parents before the ceremony. I'll borrow their shower and I'll change then."
Grissom watched as she returned to her previous position leaning against the lockers. It seemed like she wanted to ask him something, but was hesitant.
"Do you need a ride to Bellagio's?"
"To the hospital actually. Don't worry," Sara added hastily when he looked panicked. "My SUV's still there. I just need to pick it up."
"Okay. I'll meet you in the garage in a minute," he said, giving up on his tie. She quickly grabbed the outfit Catherine had retrieved from her apartment and walked towards the garage.
"Sara!"
"Hey, Greg. What's up?" Sara asked, walking into the DNA lab.
"I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I didn't realize you didn't like that nickname."
"S'okay. You wouldn't have known," Sara said. "Sorry I jumped down your throat. I'm a, uh, ..."
"Little stressed?" Greg ventured hesitantly.
"Yeah," Sara said, giving him a brief grin. "You could say that. Did Grissom apologize?"
"Yeah."
She smiled at the sound of utter shock in Greg's voice. Guess he didn't think she was serious.
"So, I hear you've been given a special project."
Her smile became forced. The lab tech's tone indicated he knew what was going on. Had he figured it out or was the office gossip that fast?
"Yeah. Special project. I'll be reviewing everyone's work," she said, raising her eyebrows pointedly.
"Make sure to tell me what I'm doing wrong! I want to get into the field! You know, you can come talk to me any time. Give me pointers. Like what to do when I feel like everything's falling apart. Or I can't get my hands to stop shaking," he said with a wink.
Shaking her head, she gave his shoulder a playful punch. He probably understood better than the others what she was going through. "I'll remember that. If you need it. And Greg? If you want to go into the field, dress more conservatively. You scare Grissom."
"I scare Grissom?" Greg blinked in confusion. "And what's wrong with my clothes?"
Giving the lab tech a grin, she continued down the hall to the garage. Grissom was waiting beside his Tahoe, the passenger side door already open.
"You didn't have to pull in here, you know? I'm tired of hiding from those reporters. It's just as easy to ignore them."
"Well, actually, it got worse," he said, explaining what had happened to the photographer. "They'll probably grill you at the press conference. Mobley tried to cancel it, but the governor insisted."
"It's all right. I was expecting something like that. I won't blow up at them," she said, giving him a rueful smile. "That's usually reserved for you. Sorry about that. I don't mean to do it."
"It okay," he said kindly.
"No, Grissom, it's not. There's nothing okay about it. You don't deserve it and I don't like it," she said, wiping her eyes. Damn. She didn't want to do this now. She needed to keep her control for later. After fidgeting for a moment, she turned to him with a nervous expression. "Could we talk? After the ceremony some time?"
"Of course. Any time you want. We have time now if you want. I was just going to grab some coffee before heading to Bellagio's."
"Later would be better. If that's okay."
"Sure."
"Thanks. I appreciate it," Sara said, turning to stare out the side window.
"Any time."
Not sure what else to say, Grissom drove to the hospital quietly. Sara's request intrigued him. She had seemed hesitant to ask. Did she think he'd turn her down? Sara broke the silence when he pulled into the garage to tell him she was on the top floor. When he pulled up beside her SUV, she finally spoke.
"I'm not crazy."
Grissom watched as she snapped her head up, a blush creeping up her face. Apparently, she hadn't meant to say that out loud. He shifted so he was facing her, giving her a smile. "I know."
"I know you're worried that I'm going to do something stupid, but you don't have to be. I would never do that. Nothing could ever be so bad that I'd kill myself," she said softly, before laughing darkly. "Of course, that would sound more believable coming from someone who didn't keep breaking into tears."
"I know," he repeated, joining her laughter. "Sara, I don't think you'd ever hurt yourself, but I'm still going to worry. I'm not going to say I understand what you're going through. I don't. But I do know this has to be hell on you."
She gave him a quick smile before jumping out of the vehicle. She didn't want to have this conversation here or now. Walking around to the driver's side, she leaned into his open window to give his arm a brief squeeze. "Thanks. I'll see you later, Grissom."
Sara gave him a friendly wave as he pulled away. Sinking into the driver's seat, she closed her eyes, and willed herself to relax before heading out. She was going to a posh hotel where her non-materialistic parents were staying in a luxury suite. There would be another press conference where she had to remain calm. Then she had to confront Grissom. She had an entire weekend afterwards to spend with her parents.
Wondering if the day could possibly get worse, Sara pulled out of the garage, unaware that just a short distance away, a young girl was being transferred into an intensive care ward.
At the end of shift, Sara reluctantly packed away her files and sorted through the stack of phone messages she wanted to return. Like the amount of gifts, it was growing shorter each night. Deciding it was too early to call, she set aside most of the messages for the weekend.
Six messages, though, caught her eye. They were from the Hernandez family. Apparently, they never gave Darby permission to speak to Teresa. The reporter had sneaked in when her parents went to eat lunch after she had interviewed them.
Knowing that the girl's family hadn't talked about the what had happened on the bus made Sara feel a little better. She had been hurt when she saw the paper. That was an experience that she would have preferred to remain a secret. It had seemed like Teresa's parents understood it was a difficult subject for her, and they didn't even know the entire truth.
She knew she'd never forget what happened on that bus, but she had hoped to keep it private. Now everyone else would keep reminding her of it. To make matters worse, the news article painted her in a heroic light. Despite the facts, Sara doubted she'd ever see the incident that way.
The later messages from Teresa's parents just urged her to call. She figured they probably wanted to apologize. That was an emotional roller coaster she wasn't ready to face right now. The upcoming award ceremony was going to be taxing enough. Folding the messages, she packed them into her bag, along with her new - if somewhat battered - pencils.
She smiled sadly as she put them away. That simple act of kindness after her curt behavior had been one of the sweetest things anyone had ever done for her. Considering the source, it was all the more poignant.
Unfortunately, she'd have to repay him with more pain. Sara knew that it was difficult for Grissom to open up to her, yet he had. Even after the number of times she'd hurt him, he hadn't pulled back. Now, after he had exposed himself, she would have to turn him away. She didn't know why Grissom was triggering her anger, but until she could control it, she'd needed to keep him at a distance. She cared too much to continue to hurt him. But would he understand?
Suddenly, Sara paused. Had Grissom been trying to protect her, by pushing her away? He had hurt her occasionally with his behavior; maybe he had realized that he was doing so, and kept a distance to prevent himself from hurting her more.
If so, it probably backfired. The distance on top of the pain hurt worse. Of course, she had had no idea why he had behaved the way he did. She'd at least make sure Grissom knew why she needed to do this.
Grabbing the last of her things, she headed off to find her supervisor. She should tell him right away, but that would be an intense scene. Who knew how long it would take her to regain her composure afterwards? It would be better to wait until after the awards ceremony.
She quickly found Grissom, struggling in the locker room to get his tie into a position which looked professional without choking off his air supply. The normally stoic scientist looked comical as he lost a battle with the strip of silk. She chuckled softly at the sight.
Any trace of humor disappeared when he turned angrily towards the door. Grissom quickly smiled when he saw who it was, but not before she saw the look of aggravation in his eyes. She returned the smile nervously before breaking eye contact and wrapping her arms around herself.
After an awkward silence, she took a deep breath and walked over to the row of lockers. Leaning against the last one, she gave him an apologetic smile. "You know, that's just not fair."
Grissom eyed her cautiously. Mobley had called him earlier to tell him that the photographer Sara confronted at the church had received three death threats during the night. This would only aggravate the media pressure on her and that fact was causing his stomach to churn. The laughter had caught him by surprise and hadn't sat well with his mood.
He regretted his reaction the moment he realized who was laughing. Grissom hoped he hadn't upset her. Still, she seemed nervous, rather than angry. He decided to follow her lead. "What isn't fair?"
"You guys can just change a tie and pass it off as a new outfit. We have to completely change clothes."
He returned her smile, realizing she was trying to lighten the mood again. "Spoken like someone who's never had to wear a tie," he said, fidgeting with the material again. "And I am wearing a clean shirt."
"Trade you a tie for hose and heels any day," she said, giving him a shy smile.
"I'll pass, thanks."
"Smart man," Sara laughed, looking around to see if anyone else was in the room.
"I'll be done in a minute if you want to change," he offered.
"Always the gentleman. No, thanks. I'm going to see my parents before the ceremony. I'll borrow their shower and I'll change then."
Grissom watched as she returned to her previous position leaning against the lockers. It seemed like she wanted to ask him something, but was hesitant.
"Do you need a ride to Bellagio's?"
"To the hospital actually. Don't worry," Sara added hastily when he looked panicked. "My SUV's still there. I just need to pick it up."
"Okay. I'll meet you in the garage in a minute," he said, giving up on his tie. She quickly grabbed the outfit Catherine had retrieved from her apartment and walked towards the garage.
"Sara!"
"Hey, Greg. What's up?" Sara asked, walking into the DNA lab.
"I just wanted to apologize for earlier. I didn't realize you didn't like that nickname."
"S'okay. You wouldn't have known," Sara said. "Sorry I jumped down your throat. I'm a, uh, ..."
"Little stressed?" Greg ventured hesitantly.
"Yeah," Sara said, giving him a brief grin. "You could say that. Did Grissom apologize?"
"Yeah."
She smiled at the sound of utter shock in Greg's voice. Guess he didn't think she was serious.
"So, I hear you've been given a special project."
Her smile became forced. The lab tech's tone indicated he knew what was going on. Had he figured it out or was the office gossip that fast?
"Yeah. Special project. I'll be reviewing everyone's work," she said, raising her eyebrows pointedly.
"Make sure to tell me what I'm doing wrong! I want to get into the field! You know, you can come talk to me any time. Give me pointers. Like what to do when I feel like everything's falling apart. Or I can't get my hands to stop shaking," he said with a wink.
Shaking her head, she gave his shoulder a playful punch. He probably understood better than the others what she was going through. "I'll remember that. If you need it. And Greg? If you want to go into the field, dress more conservatively. You scare Grissom."
"I scare Grissom?" Greg blinked in confusion. "And what's wrong with my clothes?"
Giving the lab tech a grin, she continued down the hall to the garage. Grissom was waiting beside his Tahoe, the passenger side door already open.
"You didn't have to pull in here, you know? I'm tired of hiding from those reporters. It's just as easy to ignore them."
"Well, actually, it got worse," he said, explaining what had happened to the photographer. "They'll probably grill you at the press conference. Mobley tried to cancel it, but the governor insisted."
"It's all right. I was expecting something like that. I won't blow up at them," she said, giving him a rueful smile. "That's usually reserved for you. Sorry about that. I don't mean to do it."
"It okay," he said kindly.
"No, Grissom, it's not. There's nothing okay about it. You don't deserve it and I don't like it," she said, wiping her eyes. Damn. She didn't want to do this now. She needed to keep her control for later. After fidgeting for a moment, she turned to him with a nervous expression. "Could we talk? After the ceremony some time?"
"Of course. Any time you want. We have time now if you want. I was just going to grab some coffee before heading to Bellagio's."
"Later would be better. If that's okay."
"Sure."
"Thanks. I appreciate it," Sara said, turning to stare out the side window.
"Any time."
Not sure what else to say, Grissom drove to the hospital quietly. Sara's request intrigued him. She had seemed hesitant to ask. Did she think he'd turn her down? Sara broke the silence when he pulled into the garage to tell him she was on the top floor. When he pulled up beside her SUV, she finally spoke.
"I'm not crazy."
Grissom watched as she snapped her head up, a blush creeping up her face. Apparently, she hadn't meant to say that out loud. He shifted so he was facing her, giving her a smile. "I know."
"I know you're worried that I'm going to do something stupid, but you don't have to be. I would never do that. Nothing could ever be so bad that I'd kill myself," she said softly, before laughing darkly. "Of course, that would sound more believable coming from someone who didn't keep breaking into tears."
"I know," he repeated, joining her laughter. "Sara, I don't think you'd ever hurt yourself, but I'm still going to worry. I'm not going to say I understand what you're going through. I don't. But I do know this has to be hell on you."
She gave him a quick smile before jumping out of the vehicle. She didn't want to have this conversation here or now. Walking around to the driver's side, she leaned into his open window to give his arm a brief squeeze. "Thanks. I'll see you later, Grissom."
Sara gave him a friendly wave as he pulled away. Sinking into the driver's seat, she closed her eyes, and willed herself to relax before heading out. She was going to a posh hotel where her non-materialistic parents were staying in a luxury suite. There would be another press conference where she had to remain calm. Then she had to confront Grissom. She had an entire weekend afterwards to spend with her parents.
Wondering if the day could possibly get worse, Sara pulled out of the garage, unaware that just a short distance away, a young girl was being transferred into an intensive care ward.