Disclaimer: You still don't believe me? I don't own Lord of the Rings.
Tolkien does. Although I DO own Orlando Bloom! (Mwhahahaha...) If you look
at his butt(o.O), you will see huge tattoo letters saying 'PROPERTY OF
AnGeLiC dEvIl, DO NOT TOUCH!!' Ok fine, if you're smart, you would have
known I was lying. Ok you know what? I'll shut up now. Anonymous reviewer:
THANK YOU!
Whatever..what I meant is that I DON'T OWN IT!! *turns back to the FBI* Ok, now that I admit I don't own it, can I have my pizza that you own me? *FBI shake their head* ...aww..Oh well...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY-OR WEEKEND, whichever! I'm glad it's over..
CHAPTER SEVEN -
"Mmm..." Melda moaned, waking up. She was lying in the comfiest bed she's ever been in. 'Good.' She thought. 'So it all HAD been a dream.'
"Welcome to Rivendell." Said someone. "I am sorry you have not had a proper introduction."
Melda screamed in rage and threw her hands up in the air, accidentally punching some one in the face. She threw the covers off and saw that she was wearing a low-cut nightgown. She stared at the person, or was it PEOPLE in the room with a bleary vision. "Ok, which one of you perverts undressed me and made me wear this frilly thing!?"
"None of us undressed you my lady, except for the maid outside who wanted to wash your strange garments." Said the voice that sounded like Elrond. Melda growled and slumped back on the bed.
"Legolas and I apologize for our misunderstanding." Elrond said.
"Who ever said that I apologize? Innocent girl or not, she was rude to me!" Legolas said. Great? He's in the room too?
"While your unexpected black out, I reached into your mind and discovered that you do not come from Mordor. Or in fact, have any links to Middle- earth itself! You come from a whole different world and you have many different cultures." Said the person she vaguely recognized. She heard him shudder.
Melda rubbed her eyes and saw that it was Gandalf! "FINALLY I GET TO CHOKE YOU!!" She said as she lunged at him. Gandalf let out a girly shriek and before Melda was able to get anywhere near him, she was caught by something else. "Argh!! LET GO OF ME!!"
The man threw her on the bed and then threw her back on it again when she tried to get up. They repeated the same scene at least 7 times when Elrond finally decided to tie her to the bed.
Melda now seeing clearly, saw that it was Aragorn who stopped her from attacking Gandalf. "I had the feeling she was gonna do so..." He muttered.
She saw that Merry and Pippin were there too (Sam was with Frodo). "HEY GREAT! WHY NOT JUST INVITE THE WHOLE FELLOWSHIP AND MAKE A PARTY!?!" She yelled sarcastically as Elrond and Legolas fiddled with their ears.
"My lady, you do not have to yell. We have fairly good hearing." Said Elrond.
"Not when I rip them off!" Melda said gritting her teeth.
"She is one vicious girl. I have never seen anything like her." Legolas said. "Yeah, I bite elves too!" Melda smiled evilly.
The two elves stepped back and Melda rolled her eyes. "You're so stupidly gullible."
Aragorn cleared his throat. "Let us go back to the subject."
"How do you know so much about the happenings around here?" Asked Gandalf feeling safer now that she was tied to the bed.
"Hmm...let me see." She thought aloud sarcastically. " Obsessed friends, obsessed teachers, forced to read the book, forced to watch the movie--- yep, I think that's how I came to know you."
"So you will know what will happen to us? Your clairvoyant?" Asked Gandalf.
"Yep and that's for me to know, and for you to find out what will happen." She answered simply.
"Alright then,
tell me what you know about me." Legolas said suspiciously. "Well I know you lost your virginity at 14 and got a tattoo at 15.. Oh no wait, that's Orlando Bloom." Melda said. "Oh! That you and Aragorn share a secret intimate relationship."
Legolas and Aragorn looked at each other and then backed away in disgust. "I do NOT share a secret relationship with LEGOLAS! I already have a lover, and that's Arwen and only her!"
Melda sighed. "Slash fics, you just gotta love how it embarrasses them."
The people looked at each other, having no idea what she meant and Elrond decided to change the subject. "Lady Melda, I am afraid that your knowledge of the ring and us is a danger to Rivendell."
"Yeah, so? I wanna go home stupid! I came here so that HE could bring me back!" She said nodding angrily at Gandalf.
"What do I look like to you? A God!? I am not able to play and meddle with time and space!" Gandalf retorted.
"So it wasn't you who did this?" Melda said, and when he shook his head, she yelled even louder in rage.
"I suggest that you leave with the fellowship tomorrow for safety. And who knows? You can perhaps give them a hand in their quest to make it easier for them." Said Elrond stiffly.
Aragorn, Legolas and Melda looked at him in utter shock. "SURELY you must be joking!" Melda said unbelievably.
"No. I am not." Elrond said firmly. "And don't call me Shirley."
"What??"
*~*~*
Later that day, Melda was fed and now she was in Elrond's chambers with Gandalf near him, in her gym clothes.
"Plllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeease don't let me gooooooooooooooooo!!!" She wailed, clinging to his right foot like a little girl.
Elrond heaved himself to the other side of the room with Melda being dragged along. "You...have to go! You are a threat to...ghaa! RIVENDELL!!" He said struggling.
"What's the poooooooooooint?!? All I wanted was to go home! And I end up being like a MARY-SUE!!?? Is going home too much to ask?!"
"Helping ....the fellowship on their quest isn't the only reason I'm sending you,--- let GO OF ME!!--- it is because they are passing by Lothlorien forest, and I am guessing Lady Galadriel will be able to help you." Said Elrond.
"Send me with someone else! ANY ONE!! Anyone but them!!" Melda began crying uncontrollably.
Elrond got to his knees so that he was head-to-head with her (well...sort of). "I am sorry Lady Melda. There is nothing I can do. The fellowship is the only people to be on the way to Lothlorien forest at this time. No other person wants to leave Rivendell while orcs are roaming around."
"Or course! You don't wanna leave because you stupid elves are scared that you would mess your hair up or--- or--- or you're too afraid to get your nails broken!"
Elrond looked at Gandalf and the wizard appeared to be amused. 'Stupid wizard, not even bothering to help me', he thought and tried to talk to Melda comfortingly. " Listen me Lady, elves aren't all like that. We fought in the Great War 3000 years ago. Not all elves care about their looks-oh darn! My hairpin just fell out!--the point is, do not think that. We are all different."
"But-"
"MELDA! You WILL go with the fellowship up to Lothlorien to were Galadriel will help you get back home!" Elrond yelled firmly, which meant the end of conversation. "Have I made myself CLEAR!?"
Melda nodded silently.
"Now go to your room and do Gods know what for until we call you again, alright?" Melda nodded hastily and ran out of the room. Geez that guy is scary when he's mad!
As she walked out of the room, she heard him yell over. "And would you mind putting on some less revealing clothes for the sake of virgin eyes!"
Melda looked at her black tank top and her short white shorts as an elf maid beside her giggled.
"What!?" She snapped.
*~*
The elf maid led her to her own chamber, which was MUCH further from Elrond's (thank God!) and Melda entered it, plopping on the soft bed right after shutting the door in the maid's face.
She didn't feel like admiring the room's beauty. 'Stupid elves, always wanna make the perfect impression in front of guests.' She kept on thinking.
Melda slowly drifted into sleep, wishing for the 456th time that she would wake up in her real home, and that this could all be a dumb dream.
Two hours later, Melda woke up to the sounds of the beautiful birds of Rivendell chirp. She frowned and stretched. What time was it? 'Probably noon.' She thought.
She slowly got up as tiny birds fluttered down her windowsill. She felt just like Snow-white, which slightly annoyed her. The birds flew away as she came to the open window. Melda breathed the fresh October air, picked up one of her shoes and through it out the window into the trees, causing the birds to fly out of it alarmed. "SHUT UP, YA STUPID BIRDS!!!"
The garden grew silent and the elves that roamed in it looked at her in shock and amazement. Hot could someone hate such a beautiful sound???
Melda headed back to her bed to finish her nap just when the birds began singing again...louder. (A/n: I hate it when birds do that! (-;) She ran back, picked up her other shoe and threw it again at the trees. "DON'T YOU EVER MIGRATE!?!?!?!?! IT'S OCTOBER!!" She yelled loudly, waving her hands in the air. "SHOO! BEGONE! LEEEEEEEEEEEAVE DAMMIT!! What the HELL are YOU looking at?!" She also yelled at the elves.
When she didn't succeed, she shut the window, closed the curtains and buried her heard under the pillow, ignoring the looks the elves gave her from outside.
Whatever..what I meant is that I DON'T OWN IT!! *turns back to the FBI* Ok, now that I admit I don't own it, can I have my pizza that you own me? *FBI shake their head* ...aww..Oh well...HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY-OR WEEKEND, whichever! I'm glad it's over..
CHAPTER SEVEN -
"Mmm..." Melda moaned, waking up. She was lying in the comfiest bed she's ever been in. 'Good.' She thought. 'So it all HAD been a dream.'
"Welcome to Rivendell." Said someone. "I am sorry you have not had a proper introduction."
Melda screamed in rage and threw her hands up in the air, accidentally punching some one in the face. She threw the covers off and saw that she was wearing a low-cut nightgown. She stared at the person, or was it PEOPLE in the room with a bleary vision. "Ok, which one of you perverts undressed me and made me wear this frilly thing!?"
"None of us undressed you my lady, except for the maid outside who wanted to wash your strange garments." Said the voice that sounded like Elrond. Melda growled and slumped back on the bed.
"Legolas and I apologize for our misunderstanding." Elrond said.
"Who ever said that I apologize? Innocent girl or not, she was rude to me!" Legolas said. Great? He's in the room too?
"While your unexpected black out, I reached into your mind and discovered that you do not come from Mordor. Or in fact, have any links to Middle- earth itself! You come from a whole different world and you have many different cultures." Said the person she vaguely recognized. She heard him shudder.
Melda rubbed her eyes and saw that it was Gandalf! "FINALLY I GET TO CHOKE YOU!!" She said as she lunged at him. Gandalf let out a girly shriek and before Melda was able to get anywhere near him, she was caught by something else. "Argh!! LET GO OF ME!!"
The man threw her on the bed and then threw her back on it again when she tried to get up. They repeated the same scene at least 7 times when Elrond finally decided to tie her to the bed.
Melda now seeing clearly, saw that it was Aragorn who stopped her from attacking Gandalf. "I had the feeling she was gonna do so..." He muttered.
She saw that Merry and Pippin were there too (Sam was with Frodo). "HEY GREAT! WHY NOT JUST INVITE THE WHOLE FELLOWSHIP AND MAKE A PARTY!?!" She yelled sarcastically as Elrond and Legolas fiddled with their ears.
"My lady, you do not have to yell. We have fairly good hearing." Said Elrond.
"Not when I rip them off!" Melda said gritting her teeth.
"She is one vicious girl. I have never seen anything like her." Legolas said. "Yeah, I bite elves too!" Melda smiled evilly.
The two elves stepped back and Melda rolled her eyes. "You're so stupidly gullible."
Aragorn cleared his throat. "Let us go back to the subject."
"How do you know so much about the happenings around here?" Asked Gandalf feeling safer now that she was tied to the bed.
"Hmm...let me see." She thought aloud sarcastically. " Obsessed friends, obsessed teachers, forced to read the book, forced to watch the movie--- yep, I think that's how I came to know you."
"So you will know what will happen to us? Your clairvoyant?" Asked Gandalf.
"Yep and that's for me to know, and for you to find out what will happen." She answered simply.
"Alright then,
tell me what you know about me." Legolas said suspiciously. "Well I know you lost your virginity at 14 and got a tattoo at 15.. Oh no wait, that's Orlando Bloom." Melda said. "Oh! That you and Aragorn share a secret intimate relationship."
Legolas and Aragorn looked at each other and then backed away in disgust. "I do NOT share a secret relationship with LEGOLAS! I already have a lover, and that's Arwen and only her!"
Melda sighed. "Slash fics, you just gotta love how it embarrasses them."
The people looked at each other, having no idea what she meant and Elrond decided to change the subject. "Lady Melda, I am afraid that your knowledge of the ring and us is a danger to Rivendell."
"Yeah, so? I wanna go home stupid! I came here so that HE could bring me back!" She said nodding angrily at Gandalf.
"What do I look like to you? A God!? I am not able to play and meddle with time and space!" Gandalf retorted.
"So it wasn't you who did this?" Melda said, and when he shook his head, she yelled even louder in rage.
"I suggest that you leave with the fellowship tomorrow for safety. And who knows? You can perhaps give them a hand in their quest to make it easier for them." Said Elrond stiffly.
Aragorn, Legolas and Melda looked at him in utter shock. "SURELY you must be joking!" Melda said unbelievably.
"No. I am not." Elrond said firmly. "And don't call me Shirley."
"What??"
*~*~*
Later that day, Melda was fed and now she was in Elrond's chambers with Gandalf near him, in her gym clothes.
"Plllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeeease don't let me gooooooooooooooooo!!!" She wailed, clinging to his right foot like a little girl.
Elrond heaved himself to the other side of the room with Melda being dragged along. "You...have to go! You are a threat to...ghaa! RIVENDELL!!" He said struggling.
"What's the poooooooooooint?!? All I wanted was to go home! And I end up being like a MARY-SUE!!?? Is going home too much to ask?!"
"Helping ....the fellowship on their quest isn't the only reason I'm sending you,--- let GO OF ME!!--- it is because they are passing by Lothlorien forest, and I am guessing Lady Galadriel will be able to help you." Said Elrond.
"Send me with someone else! ANY ONE!! Anyone but them!!" Melda began crying uncontrollably.
Elrond got to his knees so that he was head-to-head with her (well...sort of). "I am sorry Lady Melda. There is nothing I can do. The fellowship is the only people to be on the way to Lothlorien forest at this time. No other person wants to leave Rivendell while orcs are roaming around."
"Or course! You don't wanna leave because you stupid elves are scared that you would mess your hair up or--- or--- or you're too afraid to get your nails broken!"
Elrond looked at Gandalf and the wizard appeared to be amused. 'Stupid wizard, not even bothering to help me', he thought and tried to talk to Melda comfortingly. " Listen me Lady, elves aren't all like that. We fought in the Great War 3000 years ago. Not all elves care about their looks-oh darn! My hairpin just fell out!--the point is, do not think that. We are all different."
"But-"
"MELDA! You WILL go with the fellowship up to Lothlorien to were Galadriel will help you get back home!" Elrond yelled firmly, which meant the end of conversation. "Have I made myself CLEAR!?"
Melda nodded silently.
"Now go to your room and do Gods know what for until we call you again, alright?" Melda nodded hastily and ran out of the room. Geez that guy is scary when he's mad!
As she walked out of the room, she heard him yell over. "And would you mind putting on some less revealing clothes for the sake of virgin eyes!"
Melda looked at her black tank top and her short white shorts as an elf maid beside her giggled.
"What!?" She snapped.
*~*
The elf maid led her to her own chamber, which was MUCH further from Elrond's (thank God!) and Melda entered it, plopping on the soft bed right after shutting the door in the maid's face.
She didn't feel like admiring the room's beauty. 'Stupid elves, always wanna make the perfect impression in front of guests.' She kept on thinking.
Melda slowly drifted into sleep, wishing for the 456th time that she would wake up in her real home, and that this could all be a dumb dream.
Two hours later, Melda woke up to the sounds of the beautiful birds of Rivendell chirp. She frowned and stretched. What time was it? 'Probably noon.' She thought.
She slowly got up as tiny birds fluttered down her windowsill. She felt just like Snow-white, which slightly annoyed her. The birds flew away as she came to the open window. Melda breathed the fresh October air, picked up one of her shoes and through it out the window into the trees, causing the birds to fly out of it alarmed. "SHUT UP, YA STUPID BIRDS!!!"
The garden grew silent and the elves that roamed in it looked at her in shock and amazement. Hot could someone hate such a beautiful sound???
Melda headed back to her bed to finish her nap just when the birds began singing again...louder. (A/n: I hate it when birds do that! (-;) She ran back, picked up her other shoe and threw it again at the trees. "DON'T YOU EVER MIGRATE!?!?!?!?! IT'S OCTOBER!!" She yelled loudly, waving her hands in the air. "SHOO! BEGONE! LEEEEEEEEEEEAVE DAMMIT!! What the HELL are YOU looking at?!" She also yelled at the elves.
When she didn't succeed, she shut the window, closed the curtains and buried her heard under the pillow, ignoring the looks the elves gave her from outside.