Chapter 3

Kakashi's new year's party was fun. His annual party had become a tradition and most genin and chuunin from Konoha – except for those who were out on super-important missions – were there. At 11pm, the hall he had rented was filled with young people, and Kakashi was, as usual, getting drunk while Iruka tried to talk some sense into him. Sakura didn't really feel like celebrating but Ino hadn't left her much of a choice but to show up.

Secretly, she searched the room every once in a while for a certain silver-eyed young man, but Neji was nowhere to be seen. Neither was his cousin Hinata. Sakura and Ino were sitting on a table with Shikamaru, Naruto and some others. Ino was having a lot of fun flirting subtly with Shikamaru, but Sakura was depressed. Neji wasn't here, Hinata wasn't either. The new year wasn't going to be any better than the last. If only Sasuke were here… he would probably completely ignore her, but she would be happy admiring him from far, knowing that he was alive and alright.

So while Ino ignored her best friend completely, Sakura got up every now and then to get something to drink. She hadn't eaten much over the day and she completely underestimated whatever nasty mixture Kakashi had bought for this party.

At 11:45pm, when she had already given up any hope that the Hyuga cousins would show up, and her head was already dizzy from the alcohol, she heard a shy voice: "Sakura-chan. Sorry for being late."

Sakura turned her head and smiled broadly at her friend Hinata and her cousin, who was standing beside her with his hands buried in his pockets. "Hinata! I'm so glad that you're here!" she exclaimed and jumped up to hug her friend tightly. Then she turned her attention to Neji. "Neji-kun. It's great that you came."

He shrugged and Hinata grinned. "He had to come, the family wouldn't let me go without a bodyguard. But he volunteered for the job. Probably because you invited him?"

Neji frowned at the giggling girls and folded his arms across his chest. Now that he was here, Sakura felt a lot happier. Hinata sat down, while Neji preferred to stand next to the table, and the girls started to discuss that thing that was going on between Ino and Shikamaru, until the music was turned off and Kakashis voice echoed through the room. "It's almost time! Get the kids something to drink!"

Iruka complained but Kakashi was already too drunk to worry about some of the kids in the room being under the legal age for drinking. Naruto opened two champaigne bottles and everyone took a glass, waiting for the moment to celebrate the new year. Even Neji accepted the glass when Sakura handed it to him with a smile.

And then Kakashi started the countdown, and the youngsters in the room joined him. "5… 4… 3… 2… 1… HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

The room was filled with rattling of glasses and happy wishes for a great new year. Sakura hugged all of her friends and wished them a happy new year, before she turned to Neji. She offered him an honest smile. "Neji-kun. I wish you a happy new year."

He returned her words courtly, but was a bit surprised when she pulled him in for a kiss on his cheek. Sakura decided that maybe the new year wasn't going to be as bad as she thought.

***

Two hours later, the hall had emptied somewhat. Ino and Shikamaru were dancing. Hinata and Naruto were sitting next to each other, talking since about midnight. The rest of the group was nowhere to be found. Sakura had fun watching Ino clutching to Shikamaru and a very delighted Hinata who was still brilliantly blushing but smiling widely. Whatever Naruto was saying, and Sakura was pretty sure it had to do with Ramen, Hinata looked as if it was the most interesting thing on the world. They all had someone to spend this evening with.

And Sakura had Neji. It had taken her about an hour to convince him to sit down next to her. Every now and then he would throw a glance over to Hinata to make sure she was still there. He was quiet but Sakura kept talking and eventually, he opened up to her a bit. Every once in a while he would grace her with a reply or even a sarcastic remark, which made her burst into a fit of laughter, probably caused by the amount of alcohol she had consumed.

When another lovesong echoed through the hall, Sakura playfully said: "Let's dance, Neji-kun. I love this song."

He shook his head. "I don't… dance…" he muttered.

She smiled sadly. Too much alcohol changed her mood all too quickly and now she felt another depressive swing coming. "I'm sorry. You must be pretty bored here with me. But it seems that everyone else is having such a good time… and you're stuck with me…"

"No," he said. "I do enjoy your company, Sakura-san." He was staring into her eyes and she could tell he was honest. Sakura felt a blush creeping up her cheeks.

"No fair…" she complained. "I call you Neji-kun, then you should call me Sakura-chan."

There was no reply, he was probably at a loss of words.

Sakura was a little embarassed too. "I'm sorry, Neji-kun. I think I had too many of these drinks… I feel tired and… I should go home…" Abruptly she stood up, not taking the effects of her last drink in consideration. She lost her balance and fell forward.

Neji jumped up and caught her before she could fall.

His strong arms were wrapped around her and Sakura fell completely silent. He was so close… far too close. Why had he caught her? Sasuke would not have bothered. Sakura was confused. She leaned on him with her full weight and stammered: "W-why…?"

"You shouldn't go alone." His uncharacteristically soft voice sent shivers down her spine.

With his help she got back onto her feet ungracefully, but his left hand was still placed loosely on her waist, just in case she'd fall again. She brushed her hair away from her face and muttered: "There's no one who would bring me home. I don't want to bother Ino or Hinata."

"Neji-niisan could bring you home!" Sakura hadn't even realized that Hinata and Naruto were watching them. Hinata smiled shyly. "I don't want you to stay just because you have to protect me, Neji-niisan. Bring her home savely."

"No. It's my duty to protect you, Hinata-sama."

"I'll protect her!" Naruto exclaimed. "I promise you I won't let her out of sight for the rest of the evening."

"N-Naruto-kun…" Hinata stammered and blushed deeply.

Neji considered this for a moment. He respected Naruto and that was the only reason why he even bothered to consider his offer. Finally, he let out a sigh and said: "Very well. But you have to bring her home savely, Naruto."

"Sure thing! And you take care of Sakura-chan, okay?"

"Yeah."

So it was settled. A flushed but very happy Hinata stayed with Naruto while Neji carefully guided Sakura out of the hall. When they were a few meters away from the entrance, Sakura stopped. "Neji-kun… I don't want to go home yet… I… I don't want to be alone." Why was she saying such things? She knew better than that and yet she couldn't keep herself from pouring out her heart in front of him. It was wrong. There was Sasuke and she shouldn't be alone with Neji. And yet, she said: "Can I come with you, Neji-kun?"

His silver eyes narrowed as he stared at her, but after a moment of silence, he nodded. "Okay."

She leaned closer to him and smiled. Tomorrow she was going to regret it. But today she enjoyed his company far too much to leave him yet.

***

Quietly he led her into his room. She smiled when she saw the blanket neatly folded on his bed. So he had kept her gift. The door closed and he reached for the switch. Quickly, she stopped him. "No, I like it better when it's dark," she murmured.

He smiled meaningfully at her and let go of the switch, leaving the room in comfortable twilight.

She stepped closer to him and placed her hand against his chest. "Now that we're alone, would you like to dance with me, Neji-kun?" she purred.

"There is no music..."

"I don't mind," she muttered, her voice slurry. She draped her arms around his neck and started swaying back and fourth in an unheard rhythm that existed only in her mind. Neji placed his hands on her back and joined her, quickly adjusting to her rhythm.

His arms around her and the smell of his skin, it was almost too much for her. She was drunk enough to forget about Sasuke and if she didn't give in to her feelings now she would never. "Neji-kun." She whispered and her lips faintly touched his ear. "I really like you."

She started to kiss the soft skin below his ear, enjoying the taste. At first he didn't respond, then she felt his hand on the back of her head, his long, strong fingers brushing through her hair, ever so softly touching the sensitive skin on her neck.

He softly tucked at a strand of her hair until she pulled back her head, and then they kissed. It was like their first kiss on that christmas evening and yet it was entirely different. Once again she noticed the taste of his lips and the tingling sensation within her stomach. His tongue licked over her lips and she opened her mouth willingly, deepening the kiss. She felt like she had lost the ground beneath her feet. So this was what a real kiss felt like. Sadly enough, it was her first real kiss. She had wasted so many years waiting for Sasuke.

In her current state, that thought made her sad. Neji showed her what she had missed all those years. It was so wonderful to be with him, and it was enough not to waste another thought on Sasuke.

When they parted to gasp for air, Sakura stared deeply into these eyes, losing herself in his silver orbs. She stopped moving when she felt something soft touch her leg. They had subconsciously moved to the bed. She gasped for air. So this was it. If she wanted to stop him, she had to do it now. She was about to break her vow, the silent promise to save herself for Sasuke.

It did not matter.

She sat down on the bed and Neji leaned over her, kissing her intensely. Her hands searched and eventually found his hairband, untieing it so that his black hair fell openly onto his shoulders and tickled her when he leaned in too far.

Sakura was well aware that they were going to have sex. And she wanted it, she wanted it so much that she tugged at his shirt, urging him to pull it over his head. But he wouldn't and when she grabbed the hem of his shirt to do it herself, he stopped her. Surprised, she stared at him.

He stroke her cheek and asked softly: "What about him?"

She knew who he was referring to. Sasuke. He was always there, standing between her and Neji, disturbing the fragile bond that had developed. Sakura shook her head. "I don't care." In all likelyhood, she would have said something completely different if she'd been sober.

And Neji sensed that. "You're drunk," he muttered sadly. "That's why... nothing is going to happen tonight." He placed a soft kiss on her forehead and then his strong arms around her were gone.

"Neji!" she cried. „Please, don't leave me like that!"

He unfolded the blanket she had given to him and tucked her in. "I don't want you to do something you're going to regret tomorrow. Sleep well." And then she heard the door shut and she was left alone in his room.

Tears welled up in her eyes as she curled up in a fetal position. Why didn't he want her? Why was Sasuke always there to destroy her relationships, even though he had left long ago? Why? "I don't want this love anymore!" she whispered as the first tears fell upon Neji's sheets. "I want to be free." Drowning in self-pity, Sakura cried herself to sleep.

…tbc…

***

I'm still having problems with some english expressions and the grammar too... english is not my native language. But I'm trying to improve. Tell me if I make any nasty mistakes so they won't repeat. BTW, thanks to that friendly reviewer who told me about my bad punctuation. I tried to do it better in this chapter!