Disclaimer: 'I am beautiful, no matter what they say. 'Cause words can't
bring me down. I am beautiful in every single way, yes words don't bring me
down. Oooh so don't you bring me down today.' But what Christina REALLY
means. 'I am gorgeous and I have the perfect body--- haha. You don't--- and
I'm not afraid to show it. I'm a slut in every single way, and I'm proud to
be one. So don't you bring me down because me and ma slut friends will
bring even more down--- so down, that you'll reach China.' I just HAD to
say that. Anyways, I don't own Lord of the Rings (awww...) and I don't own
Christina Aguilera (THANK GOD),
*~*
CHAPTER TEN-
"Saesa omentien lle, nin arwen (It's a pleasure meeting you, my lady.)" Said the elf kissing her hand. "My name is Anune."
"What do you want?" Melda asked rudely, wanting to go to sleep as fast as she can find her room.
Anune looked at her for a moment. "Your dance...it intrigued me. It seemed very remarkable--never have seen anything like it."
"Ya well, next time I ain't doing it fo' free, ya know, ya." Melda started walking again.
Anune didn't understand her because some lack of vocabulary and continued. "What do you call it?"
"Dirty dancin' "
"And what do you call the song?"
"Dirrty."
"How strange." He said. Man! That guy seemed interested! "Do all the people from your country do...dirty dancing?"
"Yes and no. Anymore questions, Mr. Nosey?" Melda asked sarcastically. Ok, maybe it was a lame joke, but what can you do? She's half drunk, half asleep. She started walking again but Anune held her back by her arm.
"Why do you flee from me so?" He asked innocently.
Melda growled and bit his hand. Anune yelled in pain and let go of her. He stared at her in amazement as she ran as far away from him as possible.
She was able to find a maid and she took her to her room. The maid obviously seemed scared of her, probably because she's heard the attack of the she-elf.
Melda slumped on the bed and immediately fell asleep in her dress.
*~*
"My lady! My lady! OPEN THE DOOR!!"
"GO AWAY! I told you already, I'M IN LOVE WITH BRAD PITT, NOT BEN AFFLECK (hehe...Shirel!) !!!!"
"Is she mad even in her sleep?" She heard a woman say.
Melda opened her eyes and saw the blonde elf that did her legs the other night. She fell off her bed and yelled. "Oh God! NOT YOU!! My legs are hairless! I SWEAR!! I DID put on the liquid you gave me! I swear! I swear!"
"I am sure you did." The elf said smiling as she helped Melda up. " The counsel has been waiting for you for the past hour and a half! They are growing weary."
"What counsel??"
"ELROND'S counsel." Said the other elf, the one with the black hair. She was there too. "Do not tell me you forgot about that?"
"How bout if I tell you that I'm not going!" Melda yelled, scratching the itchy dress.
"My lady, do not start." The Blondie said rolling her eyes. "We laid out a dress for you and I trust that you will go to the counsel."
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"I DON'T WANNA WEAR THAT UGLY THING!"
"YES YOU WILL!"
"NO!"
"YES!" The elves said in unison.
"NO WAY!"
"YES WAY!" (This is a waste of page isn't it?)
"Ok fine I'll make you a deal. I'll go to the counsel, but I won't wear that--that--THING!"
The black haired elf huffed. "FINE! Go NAKED!"
"ALRIGHT I WILL!"
The elves gasped. And Melda chased them out of the room by threatening to kill them with a hairpin.
She shut the door and put on her gym clothes. She was thinking about running away, so she opened the windows to climb down but then saw elves pointing at her and saying something to each other...and more birds singing.
"Ok...skip that." She had no choice but to go. So she went out the doors.
"Well she almost looks naked." The Blondie whispered to the other elf in Elvish as they headed for the counsel.
"I swear if I find out what you're saying to her, I'll rip your perty hair off you know." Melda threatened and the blonde held her own hair defensively.
*~*
The two elves left her to get to the counsel alone after she stepped out doors. Melda was able to find her way from the voices coming from the counsel. They seemed to be playing poker in waiting.
As she came, everyone's attention turned to her and an elf in brown hair (Melda supposed was the Figwit guy) screamed out horrifyingly, trying to cover his eyes with his hands. "AHHH TAKE HER AWAY!! WHAT IS SHE WEARING!!?? THIS IS MORE THAN I ALLOW MY WIFE TO WEAR!! MAKE HER CHANGE!! I CAN'T LOOK AT HER LIKE THAT!! I'M MARRIED!!"
"Oh get a life!" Melda said as she took an empty seat next to the scared elf, just to annoy him.
Elrond rolled his eyes. "You have finally come. Alright then, Friends of old, strangers of distant lands, you have been summoned to answer to the threat of Mordor. Frodo, bring forth the ring."
Frodo stood up and placed the ring on the tiny pillar thingamajig--- whatever you call it. Boromir looked at it desirely (is that even a word??) and began to talk. "It is a gift, why not use this ring? Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy! Let us use it against him!"
Just before Aragorn was able to talk Melda said his line sounding very much like a robot. "You cannot use this ring, none of us can. The ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master..."
Boromir looked at her and scoffed. "And what would a mere lady know of this matter?"
Melda jumped out of her seat and put her hands on her hips looking like Superman. "I am no mere Lady! I am Melda Delaquela! Daughter of Sierra and Jonathan Delaquela, faller of the sky! Child of the future--oh and he's Aragorn." She added pointing at him, trying to stick to the script.
Aragorn rolled his eyes, "Havo dad, Melda."
"EXCUSE ME?? Are you telling me to have a dad?!? Didn't I just tell you that my dad is Jonathan?! Seriously, how about have a life!?" Melda yelled clearly over-reacting.
"Melda, havo dad means 'Sit down'. Please learn to control your temper." Elrond said, feeling annoyed of her already.
"Oh..." Melda said sitting down as the (MARRIED) elf next to her shifted uncomfortably and looked at her legs. "I knew that!"
She flashed a sexy smile, winked and fluttered her eyelashes just do annoy him. Boromir then spoke his lines about Gondor needing no king (because he found out who Aragorn was) and sat back down.
Then they began to talk about their life story and how the ring came to earth and what happened to it. Everyone was on the edge of his or her seat in excitement, wanting to know more except for Melda who was slowly sinking into her seat and dying of boredom. 'Why couldn't they stick to the movie script instead? Does it have to be that stupid book version??' Melda thought. 'Oh God! WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME LIKE THIS!?!'
She decided to distract herself by annoying Figwit (Who is MARRIED...we shan't forget that shall we...??). So she put her hand on his, licked her lips, brushed her bare legs against his--- anything that would make a married man uncomfortable. And Figwit was desperately restraining from screaming. Just then something else distracted Melda, they were now talking about what to do with the ring.
'All ready finished with their life story? Wow, time sure passes fast when your having fun!'
Melda got up. "Have you heard nothing I said!? THE RRRRRING MUST BE DESTROYED!!!" She yelled, rolling her 'r' like Legolas did in the movie. And speaking of Legolas, he looked at her strangely. She just said what he wanted to say.
"I suppose you're the one to take it??! I will be DEAD, before I see the RING in the hands of a MELDA!" A black-haired elf said instead of Gimli.
"THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!" Melda yelled as she lunged at him, but Gandalf and Elrond held her back. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you!! DIE! DIE! DIE!"
People got up and began arguing and the elf just scoffed. "Elves cannot die! They're immortal!"
"OH YEAH!? How come HALDIR DOES??!!"
The council looked at her silently. "Haldir dies? How do you know Haldir?" Glorfindel asked.
Melda was about to open her mouth to speak when she heard a voice interrupting. "I will take it! I will take the ring! ...Though, I do not know the way."
Everyone immediately forgot about Melda and looked kindly at Frodo and began paying him more attention (which made her very jealous). "I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it's yours to bear." Gandalf said walking next to him.
Then Aragorn came, "By my life of death, I will help you. You have my sword."
"And you have my bow!" Legolas said swiftly getting of his seat.
"AND MY AXE!!" Gimli roared, ruining the decent scene.
Boromir got up and walked up to them, "You hold the fate of us all, little one."
Then Elrond looked at Melda expectantly and she sighed, "OK! OK! You have my...er...my..."
"Blabbermouth." Aragorn said without thinking.
Melda heard him and was about to say something back but Elrond hurriedly pushed her with the others saying, "That will do for her!"
Then Sam came out of the bushes. "Hey! Mr. Frodo is going no where without me!"
"No it is hardly possible to separate you too, even when he is summoned to a secret counsel and you're not." Elrond said.
"Yeah, you'll never know who's gonna win his heart on the journey so Sammy- kins wants to make sure Frodo's all his." Melda said mockingly.
Merry and Pippin came out of their hiding place and stood with the not-yet- declared-fellowship. "Yeah you'll have to send us back home tied up in a sack!"
"Besides you need people of intelligence for this quest...mission...thing." Pippin said.
"Well that rules you out Pip." Merry said.
"Ten companions...we shall be the fellowship of the ring." Melda said instead.
"I SAY THAT!" Elrond yelled then he cleared his throat. "Very well...ten companions. You shall be the Fellowship, of the Ring!"
"Great." Pippin said. "Where are we going?"
"Yippee." Melda mumbled sarcastically. "We're all gonna die..."
*~*
Hope you like this chappy! I didn't fink it was all that bad myself. I mean hey! I'm sittin' here writing this when I'm supposed to do my 7 pages long math homework! This isn't fair! I have 2 projects to do in the spring break AND exam showers when we get back. I WANNA GO ON STRIKE!!
*~*
Surfer-Gurl: Favorites? Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!! But I didn't see your name when I checked on the stats file. ;_;. Did u forget to click on the Favorite story button?? Lolz, sorry! Thnx for luvin' my story!
Lulu Bell: Ooooooooooooooooh! That explains everything!! Lol, one of my friends said the same thing. It's not her type but she likes it. She says my stories are addictive! Me proud! Anyways, maybe I should dye my hair blond too. It would really reflect my stupidity. See? I'm even stupid just ADMITING that I'm stupid! Lol!
Yellow Drake X: Really? Wow, that line did? Hey thanx! I really think Melda's I little out of it. Lol! Thnx for your review!
Ana: Thanx!
Arwen: Thankies!
Shirel: Thanx! But this to be directed...? Haha...I think not! It's just a fic but hey! I don't mind that idea!
Culdil: Thankies! And I will make sure! ;-)....I think...I hope!
Evil Aryante: Hehe! Watch out desk! Oh and I THINK of thanking you because the last time I thanked out loud, I broke my computer screen! Wait a minute...that doesn't make sense!
Imbefaniel: Lol ya. My friend thinks she's a little too crazy. And I can't WAIT till they get to the mines of Moria or when they're fighting the Uruk- hai!
Cassie-bear01: Hehe thanx! I downloaded the song and I'm already getting sick of it!
*~*
I ORDER you to review! Na I'm just kidding! I ASK you to review! Pweaze! Oh and check out my other fic, 'Elven boi, and other songs!'
*~*
CHAPTER TEN-
"Saesa omentien lle, nin arwen (It's a pleasure meeting you, my lady.)" Said the elf kissing her hand. "My name is Anune."
"What do you want?" Melda asked rudely, wanting to go to sleep as fast as she can find her room.
Anune looked at her for a moment. "Your dance...it intrigued me. It seemed very remarkable--never have seen anything like it."
"Ya well, next time I ain't doing it fo' free, ya know, ya." Melda started walking again.
Anune didn't understand her because some lack of vocabulary and continued. "What do you call it?"
"Dirty dancin' "
"And what do you call the song?"
"Dirrty."
"How strange." He said. Man! That guy seemed interested! "Do all the people from your country do...dirty dancing?"
"Yes and no. Anymore questions, Mr. Nosey?" Melda asked sarcastically. Ok, maybe it was a lame joke, but what can you do? She's half drunk, half asleep. She started walking again but Anune held her back by her arm.
"Why do you flee from me so?" He asked innocently.
Melda growled and bit his hand. Anune yelled in pain and let go of her. He stared at her in amazement as she ran as far away from him as possible.
She was able to find a maid and she took her to her room. The maid obviously seemed scared of her, probably because she's heard the attack of the she-elf.
Melda slumped on the bed and immediately fell asleep in her dress.
*~*
"My lady! My lady! OPEN THE DOOR!!"
"GO AWAY! I told you already, I'M IN LOVE WITH BRAD PITT, NOT BEN AFFLECK (hehe...Shirel!) !!!!"
"Is she mad even in her sleep?" She heard a woman say.
Melda opened her eyes and saw the blonde elf that did her legs the other night. She fell off her bed and yelled. "Oh God! NOT YOU!! My legs are hairless! I SWEAR!! I DID put on the liquid you gave me! I swear! I swear!"
"I am sure you did." The elf said smiling as she helped Melda up. " The counsel has been waiting for you for the past hour and a half! They are growing weary."
"What counsel??"
"ELROND'S counsel." Said the other elf, the one with the black hair. She was there too. "Do not tell me you forgot about that?"
"How bout if I tell you that I'm not going!" Melda yelled, scratching the itchy dress.
"My lady, do not start." The Blondie said rolling her eyes. "We laid out a dress for you and I trust that you will go to the counsel."
"NO!"
"YES!"
"NO!"
"YES!"
"I DON'T WANNA WEAR THAT UGLY THING!"
"YES YOU WILL!"
"NO!"
"YES!" The elves said in unison.
"NO WAY!"
"YES WAY!" (This is a waste of page isn't it?)
"Ok fine I'll make you a deal. I'll go to the counsel, but I won't wear that--that--THING!"
The black haired elf huffed. "FINE! Go NAKED!"
"ALRIGHT I WILL!"
The elves gasped. And Melda chased them out of the room by threatening to kill them with a hairpin.
She shut the door and put on her gym clothes. She was thinking about running away, so she opened the windows to climb down but then saw elves pointing at her and saying something to each other...and more birds singing.
"Ok...skip that." She had no choice but to go. So she went out the doors.
"Well she almost looks naked." The Blondie whispered to the other elf in Elvish as they headed for the counsel.
"I swear if I find out what you're saying to her, I'll rip your perty hair off you know." Melda threatened and the blonde held her own hair defensively.
*~*
The two elves left her to get to the counsel alone after she stepped out doors. Melda was able to find her way from the voices coming from the counsel. They seemed to be playing poker in waiting.
As she came, everyone's attention turned to her and an elf in brown hair (Melda supposed was the Figwit guy) screamed out horrifyingly, trying to cover his eyes with his hands. "AHHH TAKE HER AWAY!! WHAT IS SHE WEARING!!?? THIS IS MORE THAN I ALLOW MY WIFE TO WEAR!! MAKE HER CHANGE!! I CAN'T LOOK AT HER LIKE THAT!! I'M MARRIED!!"
"Oh get a life!" Melda said as she took an empty seat next to the scared elf, just to annoy him.
Elrond rolled his eyes. "You have finally come. Alright then, Friends of old, strangers of distant lands, you have been summoned to answer to the threat of Mordor. Frodo, bring forth the ring."
Frodo stood up and placed the ring on the tiny pillar thingamajig--- whatever you call it. Boromir looked at it desirely (is that even a word??) and began to talk. "It is a gift, why not use this ring? Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy! Let us use it against him!"
Just before Aragorn was able to talk Melda said his line sounding very much like a robot. "You cannot use this ring, none of us can. The ring answers to Sauron alone. It has no other master..."
Boromir looked at her and scoffed. "And what would a mere lady know of this matter?"
Melda jumped out of her seat and put her hands on her hips looking like Superman. "I am no mere Lady! I am Melda Delaquela! Daughter of Sierra and Jonathan Delaquela, faller of the sky! Child of the future--oh and he's Aragorn." She added pointing at him, trying to stick to the script.
Aragorn rolled his eyes, "Havo dad, Melda."
"EXCUSE ME?? Are you telling me to have a dad?!? Didn't I just tell you that my dad is Jonathan?! Seriously, how about have a life!?" Melda yelled clearly over-reacting.
"Melda, havo dad means 'Sit down'. Please learn to control your temper." Elrond said, feeling annoyed of her already.
"Oh..." Melda said sitting down as the (MARRIED) elf next to her shifted uncomfortably and looked at her legs. "I knew that!"
She flashed a sexy smile, winked and fluttered her eyelashes just do annoy him. Boromir then spoke his lines about Gondor needing no king (because he found out who Aragorn was) and sat back down.
Then they began to talk about their life story and how the ring came to earth and what happened to it. Everyone was on the edge of his or her seat in excitement, wanting to know more except for Melda who was slowly sinking into her seat and dying of boredom. 'Why couldn't they stick to the movie script instead? Does it have to be that stupid book version??' Melda thought. 'Oh God! WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME LIKE THIS!?!'
She decided to distract herself by annoying Figwit (Who is MARRIED...we shan't forget that shall we...??). So she put her hand on his, licked her lips, brushed her bare legs against his--- anything that would make a married man uncomfortable. And Figwit was desperately restraining from screaming. Just then something else distracted Melda, they were now talking about what to do with the ring.
'All ready finished with their life story? Wow, time sure passes fast when your having fun!'
Melda got up. "Have you heard nothing I said!? THE RRRRRING MUST BE DESTROYED!!!" She yelled, rolling her 'r' like Legolas did in the movie. And speaking of Legolas, he looked at her strangely. She just said what he wanted to say.
"I suppose you're the one to take it??! I will be DEAD, before I see the RING in the hands of a MELDA!" A black-haired elf said instead of Gimli.
"THAT CAN BE ARRANGED!" Melda yelled as she lunged at him, but Gandalf and Elrond held her back. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you!! DIE! DIE! DIE!"
People got up and began arguing and the elf just scoffed. "Elves cannot die! They're immortal!"
"OH YEAH!? How come HALDIR DOES??!!"
The council looked at her silently. "Haldir dies? How do you know Haldir?" Glorfindel asked.
Melda was about to open her mouth to speak when she heard a voice interrupting. "I will take it! I will take the ring! ...Though, I do not know the way."
Everyone immediately forgot about Melda and looked kindly at Frodo and began paying him more attention (which made her very jealous). "I will help you bear this burden, Frodo Baggins, as long as it's yours to bear." Gandalf said walking next to him.
Then Aragorn came, "By my life of death, I will help you. You have my sword."
"And you have my bow!" Legolas said swiftly getting of his seat.
"AND MY AXE!!" Gimli roared, ruining the decent scene.
Boromir got up and walked up to them, "You hold the fate of us all, little one."
Then Elrond looked at Melda expectantly and she sighed, "OK! OK! You have my...er...my..."
"Blabbermouth." Aragorn said without thinking.
Melda heard him and was about to say something back but Elrond hurriedly pushed her with the others saying, "That will do for her!"
Then Sam came out of the bushes. "Hey! Mr. Frodo is going no where without me!"
"No it is hardly possible to separate you too, even when he is summoned to a secret counsel and you're not." Elrond said.
"Yeah, you'll never know who's gonna win his heart on the journey so Sammy- kins wants to make sure Frodo's all his." Melda said mockingly.
Merry and Pippin came out of their hiding place and stood with the not-yet- declared-fellowship. "Yeah you'll have to send us back home tied up in a sack!"
"Besides you need people of intelligence for this quest...mission...thing." Pippin said.
"Well that rules you out Pip." Merry said.
"Ten companions...we shall be the fellowship of the ring." Melda said instead.
"I SAY THAT!" Elrond yelled then he cleared his throat. "Very well...ten companions. You shall be the Fellowship, of the Ring!"
"Great." Pippin said. "Where are we going?"
"Yippee." Melda mumbled sarcastically. "We're all gonna die..."
*~*
Hope you like this chappy! I didn't fink it was all that bad myself. I mean hey! I'm sittin' here writing this when I'm supposed to do my 7 pages long math homework! This isn't fair! I have 2 projects to do in the spring break AND exam showers when we get back. I WANNA GO ON STRIKE!!
*~*
Surfer-Gurl: Favorites? Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!! But I didn't see your name when I checked on the stats file. ;_;. Did u forget to click on the Favorite story button?? Lolz, sorry! Thnx for luvin' my story!
Lulu Bell: Ooooooooooooooooh! That explains everything!! Lol, one of my friends said the same thing. It's not her type but she likes it. She says my stories are addictive! Me proud! Anyways, maybe I should dye my hair blond too. It would really reflect my stupidity. See? I'm even stupid just ADMITING that I'm stupid! Lol!
Yellow Drake X: Really? Wow, that line did? Hey thanx! I really think Melda's I little out of it. Lol! Thnx for your review!
Ana: Thanx!
Arwen: Thankies!
Shirel: Thanx! But this to be directed...? Haha...I think not! It's just a fic but hey! I don't mind that idea!
Culdil: Thankies! And I will make sure! ;-)....I think...I hope!
Evil Aryante: Hehe! Watch out desk! Oh and I THINK of thanking you because the last time I thanked out loud, I broke my computer screen! Wait a minute...that doesn't make sense!
Imbefaniel: Lol ya. My friend thinks she's a little too crazy. And I can't WAIT till they get to the mines of Moria or when they're fighting the Uruk- hai!
Cassie-bear01: Hehe thanx! I downloaded the song and I'm already getting sick of it!
*~*
I ORDER you to review! Na I'm just kidding! I ASK you to review! Pweaze! Oh and check out my other fic, 'Elven boi, and other songs!'