Chapter 31
Sipping her orange juice, Catherine waited impatiently for Grissom to explain what had happened. She was tired and just wanted to go home. The entire team was working extra overtime to cover for Sara and it was taking its toll. Things were starting to get stressful, and not just from lack of sleep.
The guys had reacted to Sara's request to cut Grissom some slack by completely cutting off all unnecessary contact with him. It hadn't affected the team's work dynamic, yet, but it didn't make things any easier. It was the main reason she had decided to talk to him.
He was a dear friend who had helped her through some pretty dark days, but he was also an adult. Eventually, he had to learn how to fix these things himself. She had no intention of spending the rest of her life playing counselor and patching up his mistakes. She would set him on the right path this time, but first she needed him to talk to her.
Setting her glass down, she started to drum her nails loudly against the counter. When that failed to get a reaction, she started to fiddle with the silverware. Finally, she just gave him an obscene gesture. For his part, Grissom focused on flipping sausage patties, acting as if he was handling sizzling little bombs.
There was going to be an explosion if he didn't start soon, Catherine promised herself. What was going on? He had become so distracted by watching Sara and David going to breakfast. She paused. It couldn't be that simple, she wondered.
"You know, they just go to breakfast and talk. There's nothing going on between them."
That earned a brief nod. Catherine rolled her eyes, not caring the gesture was wasted on someone not paying attention to her.
"Sara actually set him up with a nurse she made friends with from all the time she spends at the hospital."
"Hospital?"
She blinked and pulled back in surprise. Grissom had switched from emotionally distant to showing an intense fear in a heartbeat.
"She's been visiting that little girl almost every day. The one from the accident? Gotten pretty tight with her. Didn't you know?"
"No," he whispered.
Catherine let out a frustrated sigh. How could he know? He had shut Sara out and the guys were avoiding him. She wondered sadly what the last conversation he had had that couldn't be traced back to work. Still, he was the one who had initiated it.
"Well, maybe if you came out of your damn shell on occasion, you would! She's worried to death about the kid. They still don't know if she's going to recover."
Grissom silently passed her a plate of food, but remained silent. The only sign he made that he had heard her was a nervous tic.
"Look, Gil, you're my friend. I don't mind offering advice. But I'm not your personal Relationship Fairy Godmother. I can't wave a wand and magically fix things! Believe me, I'd use it on my own life if I could. You have to try. You have to be willing to open up. I'm sure if you offered, Sara would gladly talk to you."
"Catherine, I really hope you don't misinterpret your cases that badly."
The forkful of eggs paused halfway to her mouth. She would have taken offense at that comment if it hadn't been for his tone. Something had hurt him deeply.
"It's usually easiest to just start at the beginning," she offered gently.
"Darkness and void?"
"Smart ass," she snapped.
"Ass, I'll agree with that. Smart? Not likely," he sighed, finally turning to fully look at her. "Catherine, I don't know where the beginning of ... this ... is. All I know about ... this ... is that it's a mess. And I keep making it worse."
"Let's start with something a little easier then. How were things between you two before the accident?"
"Strained," he said, giving her a look that the answer should have been obvious. "I know. It's my fault. I pushed her away. I did explain my reasons to Sara and apologized to her. She was understanding, probably more so than I deserved."
"When?"
"The day we went for a drive." A wistful smile formed briefly as he recalled the way she felt when he held her at the lake, an expression not lost on Catherine.
"Okay, more details," she demanded, pushing aside her plate.
As he recounted that evening, he tried to ignore her expression, but her jaw continued to drop. It started to remind him of a snake. He missed it, though, when she finally gave him a look indicating he was an idiot when he got to the part about the hug.
"Good God, Gil!"
"What?" Grissom asked in a near-panic. He thought that evening had been the best since the accident.
"I warned you not to push! What were you thinking? Were you even thinking?" Catherine refrained from asking what he had been thinking with when she saw his confused look.
"I didn't push! Did I?"
"What do you call a romantic dinner at the lake, followed by a hug?"
He blinked in surprise. "It wasn't romantic. I wasn't trying for romantic. It was private. She was stressed from all the public attention. I thought she'd like the privacy," he sputtered, before letting out a sigh. "I guess it could have seemed that way to her. Okay. But Catherine, you didn't see her that night. I wanted to take some of her pain away. The hug just happened. It really seemed to make her happy."
"Gil, honey, ... okay, wait. We'll get back to that. What happened next?"
Catherine's expression softened as he continued. It was obvious he was leaving out the more private details, but it was enough for her to understand. She sighed sadly. They really had misread this. He wasn't the bad guy in this situation, but had been willing to assume the role to help Sara.
For once, Grissom had opened up, only to be turned away. Despite the obvious pain, he still wanted to help. This had to be tearing him up, she realized, but some of it was his own fault. He needed to learn a lesson from this. She hated to kick him while he was down, but it really would be for his own good. Or so she hoped.
"What do I do? I don't think a plant can fix this," he said sadly.
"Not likely," she snorted. "Sara told you exactly what to do. Listen to her. Do what she asked you to do in the first place. Leave her alone and wait."
"For how long?"
"Until she says it's okay or you get tired and give up."
"I'm not giving up. But what if I screwed this up too badly? What if she doesn't forgive me? Then what?"
She shrugged. "You move on or you let it consume you."
"You're so sympathetic."
"Realistic. You had years to act when it was safe. You didn't. I know this mess was a catalyst. I know you meant well. But, Gil, your timing sucks."
"So I've heard."
"Well, what did you expect? Look, let's be honest here. Sara is still a mess. She's getting better, yeah, but she's still not herself," she offered reassuringly. "Her whole life has been turned upside down. What she needs now, more than anything, is stability. Something constant, something she can count on. There's no reason for her to think you can be that thing. You have to know that."
"I do, Catherine. I know I hurt her. I didn't mean to, but I know I did. I apologized. I thought she had accepted it."
"And you think that fixes everything? Look, Sherman, unless you can get Mr. Peabody to fire up the Way-Back Machine, there's no way you can change what's happened. You spent too much time going back and forth with her. You can't expect her to trust you now. She never will, either, if you keep pulling these stunts," she paused, making sure she had his complete attention. "It's a simple request, Gil. Just give her space. If you can't do something that simple, that basic, do you really think she'll trust you with her feelings?"
"Oh."
She shook her head sadly. Thinking he had learned enough of a lesson for day, she switched gears.
"Gil, she really is getting better. You can tell from watching her. It's just a matter of time. Be patient. I really don't think you've blown this."
"Really?"
She smiled at his hopeful expression. "As sure as I can be. Look, if she had completely given up on you, Sara would have flat-out told you. Right now, it looks like she's trying to decide if she can trust you again. Keep doing what she wants. Build her confidence in you back up."
"I hope you're right."
"I am. Probably," she said, waving off his startled expression. "Look, no more pushing. Sara's still trying to get her balance back. Even something as simple as a hug is too much. Think about what you said earlier, Gil: Sara kissed you, at work. Repeat that."
"Sara kissed me at work? What ... oh. Oh."
"Exactly. I'm sure it was nice, but does that sound like something Sara would normally do? She's a friendly enough person, but she sure as hell isn't little Miss Hugginkisses. At least not in public."
"You're right. It's just so hard to stay away. I want to help."
"Do you trust her?"
"Of course," he said, a perplexed look on his face.
"Then trust her. She said this is what she needs. If you really trust her, then you'll believe her. If giving her space helps, then you are helping her."
Catherine yawned and stood up to leave. She gave her friend's shoulder a squeeze on the way out. "Look, she's willing to give you another chance. Don't blow it again. Just give her time or lose her completely. Those really are your only options."
Sipping her orange juice, Catherine waited impatiently for Grissom to explain what had happened. She was tired and just wanted to go home. The entire team was working extra overtime to cover for Sara and it was taking its toll. Things were starting to get stressful, and not just from lack of sleep.
The guys had reacted to Sara's request to cut Grissom some slack by completely cutting off all unnecessary contact with him. It hadn't affected the team's work dynamic, yet, but it didn't make things any easier. It was the main reason she had decided to talk to him.
He was a dear friend who had helped her through some pretty dark days, but he was also an adult. Eventually, he had to learn how to fix these things himself. She had no intention of spending the rest of her life playing counselor and patching up his mistakes. She would set him on the right path this time, but first she needed him to talk to her.
Setting her glass down, she started to drum her nails loudly against the counter. When that failed to get a reaction, she started to fiddle with the silverware. Finally, she just gave him an obscene gesture. For his part, Grissom focused on flipping sausage patties, acting as if he was handling sizzling little bombs.
There was going to be an explosion if he didn't start soon, Catherine promised herself. What was going on? He had become so distracted by watching Sara and David going to breakfast. She paused. It couldn't be that simple, she wondered.
"You know, they just go to breakfast and talk. There's nothing going on between them."
That earned a brief nod. Catherine rolled her eyes, not caring the gesture was wasted on someone not paying attention to her.
"Sara actually set him up with a nurse she made friends with from all the time she spends at the hospital."
"Hospital?"
She blinked and pulled back in surprise. Grissom had switched from emotionally distant to showing an intense fear in a heartbeat.
"She's been visiting that little girl almost every day. The one from the accident? Gotten pretty tight with her. Didn't you know?"
"No," he whispered.
Catherine let out a frustrated sigh. How could he know? He had shut Sara out and the guys were avoiding him. She wondered sadly what the last conversation he had had that couldn't be traced back to work. Still, he was the one who had initiated it.
"Well, maybe if you came out of your damn shell on occasion, you would! She's worried to death about the kid. They still don't know if she's going to recover."
Grissom silently passed her a plate of food, but remained silent. The only sign he made that he had heard her was a nervous tic.
"Look, Gil, you're my friend. I don't mind offering advice. But I'm not your personal Relationship Fairy Godmother. I can't wave a wand and magically fix things! Believe me, I'd use it on my own life if I could. You have to try. You have to be willing to open up. I'm sure if you offered, Sara would gladly talk to you."
"Catherine, I really hope you don't misinterpret your cases that badly."
The forkful of eggs paused halfway to her mouth. She would have taken offense at that comment if it hadn't been for his tone. Something had hurt him deeply.
"It's usually easiest to just start at the beginning," she offered gently.
"Darkness and void?"
"Smart ass," she snapped.
"Ass, I'll agree with that. Smart? Not likely," he sighed, finally turning to fully look at her. "Catherine, I don't know where the beginning of ... this ... is. All I know about ... this ... is that it's a mess. And I keep making it worse."
"Let's start with something a little easier then. How were things between you two before the accident?"
"Strained," he said, giving her a look that the answer should have been obvious. "I know. It's my fault. I pushed her away. I did explain my reasons to Sara and apologized to her. She was understanding, probably more so than I deserved."
"When?"
"The day we went for a drive." A wistful smile formed briefly as he recalled the way she felt when he held her at the lake, an expression not lost on Catherine.
"Okay, more details," she demanded, pushing aside her plate.
As he recounted that evening, he tried to ignore her expression, but her jaw continued to drop. It started to remind him of a snake. He missed it, though, when she finally gave him a look indicating he was an idiot when he got to the part about the hug.
"Good God, Gil!"
"What?" Grissom asked in a near-panic. He thought that evening had been the best since the accident.
"I warned you not to push! What were you thinking? Were you even thinking?" Catherine refrained from asking what he had been thinking with when she saw his confused look.
"I didn't push! Did I?"
"What do you call a romantic dinner at the lake, followed by a hug?"
He blinked in surprise. "It wasn't romantic. I wasn't trying for romantic. It was private. She was stressed from all the public attention. I thought she'd like the privacy," he sputtered, before letting out a sigh. "I guess it could have seemed that way to her. Okay. But Catherine, you didn't see her that night. I wanted to take some of her pain away. The hug just happened. It really seemed to make her happy."
"Gil, honey, ... okay, wait. We'll get back to that. What happened next?"
Catherine's expression softened as he continued. It was obvious he was leaving out the more private details, but it was enough for her to understand. She sighed sadly. They really had misread this. He wasn't the bad guy in this situation, but had been willing to assume the role to help Sara.
For once, Grissom had opened up, only to be turned away. Despite the obvious pain, he still wanted to help. This had to be tearing him up, she realized, but some of it was his own fault. He needed to learn a lesson from this. She hated to kick him while he was down, but it really would be for his own good. Or so she hoped.
"What do I do? I don't think a plant can fix this," he said sadly.
"Not likely," she snorted. "Sara told you exactly what to do. Listen to her. Do what she asked you to do in the first place. Leave her alone and wait."
"For how long?"
"Until she says it's okay or you get tired and give up."
"I'm not giving up. But what if I screwed this up too badly? What if she doesn't forgive me? Then what?"
She shrugged. "You move on or you let it consume you."
"You're so sympathetic."
"Realistic. You had years to act when it was safe. You didn't. I know this mess was a catalyst. I know you meant well. But, Gil, your timing sucks."
"So I've heard."
"Well, what did you expect? Look, let's be honest here. Sara is still a mess. She's getting better, yeah, but she's still not herself," she offered reassuringly. "Her whole life has been turned upside down. What she needs now, more than anything, is stability. Something constant, something she can count on. There's no reason for her to think you can be that thing. You have to know that."
"I do, Catherine. I know I hurt her. I didn't mean to, but I know I did. I apologized. I thought she had accepted it."
"And you think that fixes everything? Look, Sherman, unless you can get Mr. Peabody to fire up the Way-Back Machine, there's no way you can change what's happened. You spent too much time going back and forth with her. You can't expect her to trust you now. She never will, either, if you keep pulling these stunts," she paused, making sure she had his complete attention. "It's a simple request, Gil. Just give her space. If you can't do something that simple, that basic, do you really think she'll trust you with her feelings?"
"Oh."
She shook her head sadly. Thinking he had learned enough of a lesson for day, she switched gears.
"Gil, she really is getting better. You can tell from watching her. It's just a matter of time. Be patient. I really don't think you've blown this."
"Really?"
She smiled at his hopeful expression. "As sure as I can be. Look, if she had completely given up on you, Sara would have flat-out told you. Right now, it looks like she's trying to decide if she can trust you again. Keep doing what she wants. Build her confidence in you back up."
"I hope you're right."
"I am. Probably," she said, waving off his startled expression. "Look, no more pushing. Sara's still trying to get her balance back. Even something as simple as a hug is too much. Think about what you said earlier, Gil: Sara kissed you, at work. Repeat that."
"Sara kissed me at work? What ... oh. Oh."
"Exactly. I'm sure it was nice, but does that sound like something Sara would normally do? She's a friendly enough person, but she sure as hell isn't little Miss Hugginkisses. At least not in public."
"You're right. It's just so hard to stay away. I want to help."
"Do you trust her?"
"Of course," he said, a perplexed look on his face.
"Then trust her. She said this is what she needs. If you really trust her, then you'll believe her. If giving her space helps, then you are helping her."
Catherine yawned and stood up to leave. She gave her friend's shoulder a squeeze on the way out. "Look, she's willing to give you another chance. Don't blow it again. Just give her time or lose her completely. Those really are your only options."