Hey everybody!! I'm bbbbbbbbbaaaaaaack! And it's spring break!! Whoo-hoo!!
*starts dancing madly* Although I forgot to chant my Spring break song
before I skipped school. Ow, my feet hurt. I walked around the shopping
mall for so long...OW!! Anyways, the reason I didn't touch this document
for almost a week (well that wasn't a really long time, was it??) was
because I had to read the book to find out what really happens when they
leave. Nothing special though. It's all in the movie I guess. Peter Jackson
didn't lie. The book was pretty good although I *coughcough* skipped
*coughcough* two chapters! Because it was endless and boring. The Tom
Bombadil and the Council part. Yes I know that was wrong, but still! I'll
read it later. Anyways...
'Oh my God she's back again! To the reviewers and commentators everybody sing! Gonna bring the flavor, she'll show how. Gonna leave a review and she'll answer now! Yeah, yeah! Is she original? YEAH!! Is she the only one? NOO! (there's many AnGeLiC dEvIl's around...) Is she sexual?? ...Maaaaay- be! Is this story everything you need? Then review back right now! Everybody, yeah! Yeeeeeeeah! Rock you're body, yeah! Yeaaaah! Everybody yeah, rock your body right! Angil's back ALRIGHT!'
...Wow...I scared you didn't I? Remind me to never do that again... Yikes...
Oh and incase you're wondering, I know how to spell my Penname. Angil is just Angel+ devil mixed together. It makes Angil! Not Anvil.
To the reviewers, THANK YOU!! MWHAHAHAH!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
Imbefaniel: Tie her to a tree and leave her to the wolves? Lmao! Hehe, thanks for the idea and the review! n.n!
Freakintheneverendingabyss: Hehe! Really? Cool! Thanks!
Nessa Monyata: Hey thanks! Yah, Mel has a short temper. She hates LOTR. And yah, I'm probably gonna write the whole three series. Lol! That is unless they kill her before that. That way the story would end faster. Anyways kool elvish name. My friend's elvish name is Nessa too. I don't remember her last name though. Mine is Orilende Celebrindal. That sounds so weird! Oh well! Sounds like Orlando. (yay! Orlando Bloom!!)
Kallinde of Middle-earth: Yes I know. Melda IS evil. And I will keep in that way. I'm sorry, but Legolas has to be mentally or if not, physically tortured too. He's part of the Fellowship right? And yes I will make Aragorn crazy (if he's not already). But that's all I'm telling! n.n!
Evil Aryante: Hehe! Ooooooooooooh THANKIES!! *blushes* Please no more compliments...!! Or ur gonna make my ego larger than my evil math teacher of doom's head. Anyways, you keep writin' too! AND STOP BOWING!! You're killing trees by smashing desks! Protect nature! Lolz... Oh yeah and--yes! I'm writing more! Just please don't bring out the whip! Hehe!
Yellow Drake X: Hehe! Thanks! More biting, up ahead!
Surfer-Gurl: Lol. Ur funny. Oh and I'm so stupid, I'm sorry. I looked in ur penname and I saw it there. THANKS BY THE WAY! I still didn't get to the whole new fanfiction account thing. Weird...
Fruity: Hehe (wow if I had a million dollars for every time I say that, I'd be...a multi millionaire!!)! Funny advice. Drunk. Oh yeah, and I already knew about that Figwit site. They posted it up in the newspapers talking about many sites created for an Elf who appeared in the movie for only 3 seconds! They have karaoke, that's cool! Oh and thanks for putting it on the favorite stories list!!
Videl-14: Sure! Here's more!
Videl-14: Yeah, I wish I could say that to my evil math teacher of doom too. But he would send me in a 5 hour detention every night for the rest of my life. Anyways, yeah the car thing. I know. It's not original, but it's weird. I didn't know how else to make her end up in there.
hi peeps, i'm mad. what you gonna do bout it?: Wow! Where did u learn 'I love you're fic' in like 6 languages? There is ONE important language you forgot to put, and that is ELVISH!! Hehe. 'Amin mella lle fic.' Lol. And I found out later that disirely isn't a word but I was too lazy to change it.
Lulu bell: 1) You have a club for that????!? 2) Really? Yikes! That means that the cute guy in my class is gonna end up with cancer!?! ;_;! He has brown hair but he keeps dying it blond! Well whatever, I still wanna color it anyways. I put natural dark red streaks in my hair before and I'M STILL ALIVE!!
Deanna: Ur right! I can't even spell it right! But thankies anyway!
Ow...my aching fingers. Ok, here's the next chappie. Ok I'll shut up and present it already!
Oh and A/N: Incase you think Melda's a little Coo-coo, I'll just have to remind you that she really hates Lord of the Rings and that is why she is the freaky evil person she is. As if she already isn't.
*~*
CHAPTER ELEVEN---
"Is that your whole room stuffed in a bag?" Aragorn said, raising an eyebrow.
They were all about to leave for the big journey and almost everyone in Rivendell came to wish them goodbye. There were a lot of males around too waving to Melda and Anune was even there waving with a bleeding cloth around his right hand where Melda had bit him.
"No! That's everything I need." Melda said simply.
Aragorn snatched her bag from her arms and opened it. "What's this?" He said looking at a rectangular shaped bottle with odd yellow liquid in it.
"It's called shampoo. SHAM-poo. I'm sure you've never heard of it, have you?"
"Yes I *have* heard of it, but I do not see why you need twenty bottles of it!" Aragorn said. "And if you--what the!? What is your mattress doing in here!?"
"Hey I can't sleep on cold hard ground!" Melda yelled. The other eight members of the fellowship sighed and Aragorn, with his strong muscles, lifted the mattress and threw it away. Then he looked into the bag once again and pulled out a pair of emerald pink and yellow jeweled slippers that looked like they belonged to a woman...or not.
"HEY! GIVE THOSE BACK!" Elrond ran out of the crowd and snatched the slippers. Melda giggled insanely. "Why did you take my slippers!? I mean my wife's--- why did you take my *wife's* slippers?!"
"Because I wanted to sell them in the black market of Rohan!" Melda said snorting hard with laughter.
"They're not for sale!"
"Wait a minute there, young lady." Gandalf said walking up to them. "We are not going to Rohan. We shall be passing up on Hollin, then up on the mountains of Redhorn then--"
"Yaddiyaddi yada. You yack too much." Said Melda rolling her eyes as she did that hand thing that shows you talk too much. "You act like you know everything and you always wanna be the center of attention. What a fine Grandfather you'd make!" Then he started imitating a toothless old man. " '...In my old days...I used to go on horse rides (or was it panda rides...?) and every body was always around me. I'm so special! I had friends with pointy ears-- so pointy that you could use them as daggers to kill stuck on your head and...OH! There goes my back!'"
She paused for laughs, but heard none. Melda looked around and saw that everyone was staring at her with wide eyes. So she decided to laugh at her own joke herself.
"All...righty..." Elrond said and the real fellowship snapped back to earth. "Melda...never do that again. And behave yourself on the journey whilst you are at it."
Melda pouted angrily. What did she do?? She never hurt anyone or did anything bad ever since she came here! (HAHAHA!! WOW! I'm cracking up at that last line!! Ever since she came hear!? ...wow...)
Then he pulled Gandalf up to him and whispered something. The wizard nodded and gave a very quick glance at Melda. When they were done, Aragorn turned back to her. "Alright, back to the subject. You are simply not taking all this stuff with you."
"Why not??"
"YOU'LL KILL BILL!!"
"Well then get a normal horse if this one is so retarded you doushbag!" Melda yelled.
Aragorn sighed and began taking more stuff out. "More stolen slippers...a rubber ducky??...and what's this? A CHANDELIER?!? What the hell is that for?!? How did you get it in here?!"
Elrond rubbed his forehead with eyes shut. He sighed and mumbled, "Dear Elbereth... why have you brought such an evil annoying thing upon us?" Then he spoke louder, "MELDA! You will not bring anything that is in this wretched bag of yours. I have provided you and the fellowship with fur cloaks and hoods as well as food. That is all you need for the journey, not Rivendell's largest chandelier."
"Who died and made *you* king!?" Melda shot back.
"No one. Though I AM the elf lord of this place." Elrond said. "This place is MINE."
"Fine but I want to keep the bag I came to Middle-earth with."
"That will do. But that bag goes on your back not Bill's."
"Fine."
"Fine."
"That's good for you."
"Good for you too."
"All the better."
"Yes all the better. Now will you please LEAVE already?!"
The fellowship shrugged and waved their good-byes and began their journey southwards.
"Goodbye Gandalf and fellowship. May you have the patience of the world with you. Aa' menealle nauva calen ar' malta."
'Alright I know this was not the proper farewell...' Thought Elrond. 'But safety is a feeling I now feel ever since that evil girl left the borders of Rivendell. I now feel sorry for the other nine. How will they survive?? I am starting to feel as if she really was the daughter of Sauron in a way...may the strength of the Valar always be by their side...not Melda's though...'
*~*
It was freezing. Or as Tolkien would poetically say, 'For many sunless days an icy blast came from the Mountains in the east, and no garment seemed able to keep out its searching fingers.'
Yup. It was freezing. Nothing seemed to make it any worst. Unless, you count Melda that is.
"I'm sooo bored. It's freezing." She complained. "HELLO?! Are you listening to me?? Why do we have to walk so much? Being lazy is so much fun. Why not be that? Hey guys! GUYS!?!? I'm hungry!!!"
"We just had breakfast!" Gimli yelled. "Now will you SHUT UP! For the love of Legolas!??"
Legolas looked at him strangely. "Leave me out of the conversation. I do not want have to do anything with her and her invisible demons."
"Well you know, I prefer the stomach of a hobbit's." Melda said in a matter- of-factly tone. " Now where's my second breakfast!?"
They had been traveling for the past five days. And still no sign of a high mountain for them to throw her off. But they were getting nearer...hopefully. On the first day, things weren't so bad. Melda complained a little. One of the fellowship carried her a couple of times because her feet hurt and she was wasting their time. But as the days went by, things were getting really bad. Melda had a great talent for annoying people. She sang horribly, she danced around, she yelled on top of her lungs for any Sauron spies to find and kill the fellowship already, she kicked them and screamed in their ears when they least expected and kept bugging Boromir with faint hints of him going to die.
"Does your family care about you?" She asks.
"Er...yes. Why do you ask?" Boromir says.
"Well what if you... let's say....you DIE. What would they do? How would they react?" She asks with a big goofy grin glued on her face.
" Frankly, I do not know. Stop asking questions." He says, not cottoning on.
Right now, Gandalf was gone, he said he had urgent news he must seek to, which made Melda curious because Tolkien said nothing about that in a book. Frodo was moping for when Gandalf's coming back like a homesick puppy. Aragorn yelled in rage every time Melda opens her mouth to say something. Legolas hid his bow and quiver away in his bag incase he shoots her without a second thought. The hobbits were so depressed that they ate most of their food as a comfort (heh...no surprise there). And Gimli...Gimli was amazingly patient. He didn't crack like the others...yet.
"So...are we there yet?" Melda asked.
"No. Do you even know where 'where' is?" Legolas said.
"Mordor. Whenarewegonnagetthere???"
Gimli started laughing. "We still have a long way to go my friend."
"Unfortunately." Aragorn muttered bitterly.
They decided to camp on one of the grassy green hills of Hollin. Boromir started teaching the hobbits how to swordfight and Aragorn began to get high on his pipe-weed. He began to smoke that more often-- must have been another comfort method for him.
Just then Frodo cried, "GANDALF!! Oh thank Elbereth you're back!!" All of the people's heads turned towards an old man with a staff in one hand and a small brown thing in gold wrapping in the other.
They all crowded around him except for Melda and began asking him about the urgent news. Just then she spotted what that gold wrapping was.
"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CRUNCHIE BAR!??!" She yelled.
"I was able to get it from your time." Gandalf said calmly, smiling. "When I reached into your mind in Rivendell, your world intrigued me. So I decided to give it a small visit so I came by a place what you call a 'Drug- store' and got this. It's rather good I tell you."
"YOU CAN GO 2003 ANYTIME YOU WANT BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE ME???!!!!!!!!??"
"Well it's complicated, you see." Gandalf answered, taking another bite of the Crunchie (Oh yum...I want one now...but the fridge's too far...). "I am friends with Old Father Time himself. We met near the beginning of the creation of the world and close we became in such a short time. He always used to fulfill my requests to go into different times of the world. But I never knew that the years would exceed up to 2003, which is until I met you so I decided to take a glimpse of it by curiosity. So I--"
But before he was able to finish, Melda lunged at him. "GIVE ME THAT CRUNCHIE BAR!!"
"NO!" Gandalf said shoving it in his mouth trying to finish it.
"YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE TOFEE!!" Melda roared, blocking his mouth to prevent the chocolate from getting in his mouth.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW?!?"
"BECAUSE I DO, OK?! GIVE IT TO ME!!"
"NEVER!"
But neither of them was able to get the end of the chocolate bar because it got lost somewhere in Gandalf's beard and thus ended the longing-for- chocolate-again of Melda.
She kept shooting glances now and then at his beard. "One day, I'll cut it off and I'll find that chocolate again. No matter how much hair it's gonna end up having, it's MINE."
"Ha! Not before I die!" Gandalf said searching through his beard for the missing chocolate item.
Just then Legolas saw something. "There is something in the sky."
"Nothing it's just a wisp of clouds." Gimli roared (not that I have anything against him, it just sounds horrifying next to Leggy's soothing voice).
"It's moving fast." Boromir said.
"Crebains from Fangorn and Dudeland!" Legolas said.
"Hide!" Aragorn yelled. Every one gathered all their things, put out the fire and found a hiding place. All except for oh...let me see...MELDA.
She began waving air hands in the air madly. "Here birdies! Here birdies! They're over here! Kill 'em! Peck their eyes out!"
Boromir pulled her down and put a hand to cover her mouth. She bit him hard and even though he was wearing gloves made of Dragon hide, her teeth sank in his skin. His eyes widened and held himself from screaming. Once the birds were gone he ran out of the bush and let out a high-pitched scream. Melda began laughing insanely. Boromir took off his glove and saw his hand bleeding. "Why you vicious little thing-"
"I dunno why you're getting all crazy about. I mean I didn't bite you hard. You didn't even taste as good as Anune did." Melda said getting out of the bushes too. The whole fellowship was glaring at her.
"What? Did I do somefink wrong?" She asked innocently raising her eyebrows.
"If I stay with her any longer, I'd be convinced that Sauron has been reincarnated into a body of a fifteen year old girl!" Boromir said trying to stop the bleeding, but with no avail.
"You ARE working for Sauron!" Legolas said searching for his bow and arrows to shoot her. "I knew it! She wants to be rid of us. She just showed the Crebains where we are!"
"Hey! Those birdies already knew where you were! No matter what you did!" Melda retorted.
"How do you know!?" Aragorn said through gritted teeth.
"I just do ok? I'm 'clairvoyant' remember?" Melda smiled evilly.
Gandalf sighed. "Fellowship huddle."
The nine huddled together and just as Melda walked towards them, Gandalf roared. "GO AWAY! YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE REAL FELLOWSHIP!!"
Melda kicked a rock and it eventually hit poor Aragorn's head which began to slowly get red from anger and slumped on the ground, trying to overhear their conversation.
"Okay." Gandalf said in a low voice. "Yes I know Melda has been driving us crazy. We are all thinking of killing her now, right?" Everyone nodded. "But back in Rivendell, I promised Elrond that we would not hurt her. She is a girl from the future and she has all these crazy ideas. She does not understand the ways of Middle-earth, no one in her time really understands. They are very different. Believe me, I have been there. I even heard of someone worst who I remember was called 'Chrisitna Aguilera' or something like that. The point is that he asks us to have patience with her. Give her a chance. Make her see that we are not bad people. Do you understand?"
After a long pause, the fellowship sighed one after the other and agreed.
*~*~*
Will Melda change? Or will things get worst? Will the fellowship last a second longer being nice to her? Or will they get her back for her stubbornness? Read on next time to find out in chapter 12, 'The pranking begins!'! MWHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!
For now, you must review and tell me what you think! Or else...or else, I'll send my evil monkeys from outer space disguised as yellow orangutans with guns at you! For more information about this fascinating creature, Check out my other site. On Elfwood. www.elfwood.com. Or just go on my bio for a short cut. RIGHT NOW YOU REVIEW!!
'Oh my God she's back again! To the reviewers and commentators everybody sing! Gonna bring the flavor, she'll show how. Gonna leave a review and she'll answer now! Yeah, yeah! Is she original? YEAH!! Is she the only one? NOO! (there's many AnGeLiC dEvIl's around...) Is she sexual?? ...Maaaaay- be! Is this story everything you need? Then review back right now! Everybody, yeah! Yeeeeeeeah! Rock you're body, yeah! Yeaaaah! Everybody yeah, rock your body right! Angil's back ALRIGHT!'
...Wow...I scared you didn't I? Remind me to never do that again... Yikes...
Oh and incase you're wondering, I know how to spell my Penname. Angil is just Angel+ devil mixed together. It makes Angil! Not Anvil.
To the reviewers, THANK YOU!! MWHAHAHAH!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!
Imbefaniel: Tie her to a tree and leave her to the wolves? Lmao! Hehe, thanks for the idea and the review! n.n!
Freakintheneverendingabyss: Hehe! Really? Cool! Thanks!
Nessa Monyata: Hey thanks! Yah, Mel has a short temper. She hates LOTR. And yah, I'm probably gonna write the whole three series. Lol! That is unless they kill her before that. That way the story would end faster. Anyways kool elvish name. My friend's elvish name is Nessa too. I don't remember her last name though. Mine is Orilende Celebrindal. That sounds so weird! Oh well! Sounds like Orlando. (yay! Orlando Bloom!!)
Kallinde of Middle-earth: Yes I know. Melda IS evil. And I will keep in that way. I'm sorry, but Legolas has to be mentally or if not, physically tortured too. He's part of the Fellowship right? And yes I will make Aragorn crazy (if he's not already). But that's all I'm telling! n.n!
Evil Aryante: Hehe! Ooooooooooooh THANKIES!! *blushes* Please no more compliments...!! Or ur gonna make my ego larger than my evil math teacher of doom's head. Anyways, you keep writin' too! AND STOP BOWING!! You're killing trees by smashing desks! Protect nature! Lolz... Oh yeah and--yes! I'm writing more! Just please don't bring out the whip! Hehe!
Yellow Drake X: Hehe! Thanks! More biting, up ahead!
Surfer-Gurl: Lol. Ur funny. Oh and I'm so stupid, I'm sorry. I looked in ur penname and I saw it there. THANKS BY THE WAY! I still didn't get to the whole new fanfiction account thing. Weird...
Fruity: Hehe (wow if I had a million dollars for every time I say that, I'd be...a multi millionaire!!)! Funny advice. Drunk. Oh yeah, and I already knew about that Figwit site. They posted it up in the newspapers talking about many sites created for an Elf who appeared in the movie for only 3 seconds! They have karaoke, that's cool! Oh and thanks for putting it on the favorite stories list!!
Videl-14: Sure! Here's more!
Videl-14: Yeah, I wish I could say that to my evil math teacher of doom too. But he would send me in a 5 hour detention every night for the rest of my life. Anyways, yeah the car thing. I know. It's not original, but it's weird. I didn't know how else to make her end up in there.
hi peeps, i'm mad. what you gonna do bout it?: Wow! Where did u learn 'I love you're fic' in like 6 languages? There is ONE important language you forgot to put, and that is ELVISH!! Hehe. 'Amin mella lle fic.' Lol. And I found out later that disirely isn't a word but I was too lazy to change it.
Lulu bell: 1) You have a club for that????!? 2) Really? Yikes! That means that the cute guy in my class is gonna end up with cancer!?! ;_;! He has brown hair but he keeps dying it blond! Well whatever, I still wanna color it anyways. I put natural dark red streaks in my hair before and I'M STILL ALIVE!!
Deanna: Ur right! I can't even spell it right! But thankies anyway!
Ow...my aching fingers. Ok, here's the next chappie. Ok I'll shut up and present it already!
Oh and A/N: Incase you think Melda's a little Coo-coo, I'll just have to remind you that she really hates Lord of the Rings and that is why she is the freaky evil person she is. As if she already isn't.
*~*
CHAPTER ELEVEN---
"Is that your whole room stuffed in a bag?" Aragorn said, raising an eyebrow.
They were all about to leave for the big journey and almost everyone in Rivendell came to wish them goodbye. There were a lot of males around too waving to Melda and Anune was even there waving with a bleeding cloth around his right hand where Melda had bit him.
"No! That's everything I need." Melda said simply.
Aragorn snatched her bag from her arms and opened it. "What's this?" He said looking at a rectangular shaped bottle with odd yellow liquid in it.
"It's called shampoo. SHAM-poo. I'm sure you've never heard of it, have you?"
"Yes I *have* heard of it, but I do not see why you need twenty bottles of it!" Aragorn said. "And if you--what the!? What is your mattress doing in here!?"
"Hey I can't sleep on cold hard ground!" Melda yelled. The other eight members of the fellowship sighed and Aragorn, with his strong muscles, lifted the mattress and threw it away. Then he looked into the bag once again and pulled out a pair of emerald pink and yellow jeweled slippers that looked like they belonged to a woman...or not.
"HEY! GIVE THOSE BACK!" Elrond ran out of the crowd and snatched the slippers. Melda giggled insanely. "Why did you take my slippers!? I mean my wife's--- why did you take my *wife's* slippers?!"
"Because I wanted to sell them in the black market of Rohan!" Melda said snorting hard with laughter.
"They're not for sale!"
"Wait a minute there, young lady." Gandalf said walking up to them. "We are not going to Rohan. We shall be passing up on Hollin, then up on the mountains of Redhorn then--"
"Yaddiyaddi yada. You yack too much." Said Melda rolling her eyes as she did that hand thing that shows you talk too much. "You act like you know everything and you always wanna be the center of attention. What a fine Grandfather you'd make!" Then he started imitating a toothless old man. " '...In my old days...I used to go on horse rides (or was it panda rides...?) and every body was always around me. I'm so special! I had friends with pointy ears-- so pointy that you could use them as daggers to kill stuck on your head and...OH! There goes my back!'"
She paused for laughs, but heard none. Melda looked around and saw that everyone was staring at her with wide eyes. So she decided to laugh at her own joke herself.
"All...righty..." Elrond said and the real fellowship snapped back to earth. "Melda...never do that again. And behave yourself on the journey whilst you are at it."
Melda pouted angrily. What did she do?? She never hurt anyone or did anything bad ever since she came here! (HAHAHA!! WOW! I'm cracking up at that last line!! Ever since she came hear!? ...wow...)
Then he pulled Gandalf up to him and whispered something. The wizard nodded and gave a very quick glance at Melda. When they were done, Aragorn turned back to her. "Alright, back to the subject. You are simply not taking all this stuff with you."
"Why not??"
"YOU'LL KILL BILL!!"
"Well then get a normal horse if this one is so retarded you doushbag!" Melda yelled.
Aragorn sighed and began taking more stuff out. "More stolen slippers...a rubber ducky??...and what's this? A CHANDELIER?!? What the hell is that for?!? How did you get it in here?!"
Elrond rubbed his forehead with eyes shut. He sighed and mumbled, "Dear Elbereth... why have you brought such an evil annoying thing upon us?" Then he spoke louder, "MELDA! You will not bring anything that is in this wretched bag of yours. I have provided you and the fellowship with fur cloaks and hoods as well as food. That is all you need for the journey, not Rivendell's largest chandelier."
"Who died and made *you* king!?" Melda shot back.
"No one. Though I AM the elf lord of this place." Elrond said. "This place is MINE."
"Fine but I want to keep the bag I came to Middle-earth with."
"That will do. But that bag goes on your back not Bill's."
"Fine."
"Fine."
"That's good for you."
"Good for you too."
"All the better."
"Yes all the better. Now will you please LEAVE already?!"
The fellowship shrugged and waved their good-byes and began their journey southwards.
"Goodbye Gandalf and fellowship. May you have the patience of the world with you. Aa' menealle nauva calen ar' malta."
'Alright I know this was not the proper farewell...' Thought Elrond. 'But safety is a feeling I now feel ever since that evil girl left the borders of Rivendell. I now feel sorry for the other nine. How will they survive?? I am starting to feel as if she really was the daughter of Sauron in a way...may the strength of the Valar always be by their side...not Melda's though...'
*~*
It was freezing. Or as Tolkien would poetically say, 'For many sunless days an icy blast came from the Mountains in the east, and no garment seemed able to keep out its searching fingers.'
Yup. It was freezing. Nothing seemed to make it any worst. Unless, you count Melda that is.
"I'm sooo bored. It's freezing." She complained. "HELLO?! Are you listening to me?? Why do we have to walk so much? Being lazy is so much fun. Why not be that? Hey guys! GUYS!?!? I'm hungry!!!"
"We just had breakfast!" Gimli yelled. "Now will you SHUT UP! For the love of Legolas!??"
Legolas looked at him strangely. "Leave me out of the conversation. I do not want have to do anything with her and her invisible demons."
"Well you know, I prefer the stomach of a hobbit's." Melda said in a matter- of-factly tone. " Now where's my second breakfast!?"
They had been traveling for the past five days. And still no sign of a high mountain for them to throw her off. But they were getting nearer...hopefully. On the first day, things weren't so bad. Melda complained a little. One of the fellowship carried her a couple of times because her feet hurt and she was wasting their time. But as the days went by, things were getting really bad. Melda had a great talent for annoying people. She sang horribly, she danced around, she yelled on top of her lungs for any Sauron spies to find and kill the fellowship already, she kicked them and screamed in their ears when they least expected and kept bugging Boromir with faint hints of him going to die.
"Does your family care about you?" She asks.
"Er...yes. Why do you ask?" Boromir says.
"Well what if you... let's say....you DIE. What would they do? How would they react?" She asks with a big goofy grin glued on her face.
" Frankly, I do not know. Stop asking questions." He says, not cottoning on.
Right now, Gandalf was gone, he said he had urgent news he must seek to, which made Melda curious because Tolkien said nothing about that in a book. Frodo was moping for when Gandalf's coming back like a homesick puppy. Aragorn yelled in rage every time Melda opens her mouth to say something. Legolas hid his bow and quiver away in his bag incase he shoots her without a second thought. The hobbits were so depressed that they ate most of their food as a comfort (heh...no surprise there). And Gimli...Gimli was amazingly patient. He didn't crack like the others...yet.
"So...are we there yet?" Melda asked.
"No. Do you even know where 'where' is?" Legolas said.
"Mordor. Whenarewegonnagetthere???"
Gimli started laughing. "We still have a long way to go my friend."
"Unfortunately." Aragorn muttered bitterly.
They decided to camp on one of the grassy green hills of Hollin. Boromir started teaching the hobbits how to swordfight and Aragorn began to get high on his pipe-weed. He began to smoke that more often-- must have been another comfort method for him.
Just then Frodo cried, "GANDALF!! Oh thank Elbereth you're back!!" All of the people's heads turned towards an old man with a staff in one hand and a small brown thing in gold wrapping in the other.
They all crowded around him except for Melda and began asking him about the urgent news. Just then she spotted what that gold wrapping was.
"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CRUNCHIE BAR!??!" She yelled.
"I was able to get it from your time." Gandalf said calmly, smiling. "When I reached into your mind in Rivendell, your world intrigued me. So I decided to give it a small visit so I came by a place what you call a 'Drug- store' and got this. It's rather good I tell you."
"YOU CAN GO 2003 ANYTIME YOU WANT BUT YOU CAN'T TAKE ME???!!!!!!!!??"
"Well it's complicated, you see." Gandalf answered, taking another bite of the Crunchie (Oh yum...I want one now...but the fridge's too far...). "I am friends with Old Father Time himself. We met near the beginning of the creation of the world and close we became in such a short time. He always used to fulfill my requests to go into different times of the world. But I never knew that the years would exceed up to 2003, which is until I met you so I decided to take a glimpse of it by curiosity. So I--"
But before he was able to finish, Melda lunged at him. "GIVE ME THAT CRUNCHIE BAR!!"
"NO!" Gandalf said shoving it in his mouth trying to finish it.
"YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE TOFEE!!" Melda roared, blocking his mouth to prevent the chocolate from getting in his mouth.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW?!?"
"BECAUSE I DO, OK?! GIVE IT TO ME!!"
"NEVER!"
But neither of them was able to get the end of the chocolate bar because it got lost somewhere in Gandalf's beard and thus ended the longing-for- chocolate-again of Melda.
She kept shooting glances now and then at his beard. "One day, I'll cut it off and I'll find that chocolate again. No matter how much hair it's gonna end up having, it's MINE."
"Ha! Not before I die!" Gandalf said searching through his beard for the missing chocolate item.
Just then Legolas saw something. "There is something in the sky."
"Nothing it's just a wisp of clouds." Gimli roared (not that I have anything against him, it just sounds horrifying next to Leggy's soothing voice).
"It's moving fast." Boromir said.
"Crebains from Fangorn and Dudeland!" Legolas said.
"Hide!" Aragorn yelled. Every one gathered all their things, put out the fire and found a hiding place. All except for oh...let me see...MELDA.
She began waving air hands in the air madly. "Here birdies! Here birdies! They're over here! Kill 'em! Peck their eyes out!"
Boromir pulled her down and put a hand to cover her mouth. She bit him hard and even though he was wearing gloves made of Dragon hide, her teeth sank in his skin. His eyes widened and held himself from screaming. Once the birds were gone he ran out of the bush and let out a high-pitched scream. Melda began laughing insanely. Boromir took off his glove and saw his hand bleeding. "Why you vicious little thing-"
"I dunno why you're getting all crazy about. I mean I didn't bite you hard. You didn't even taste as good as Anune did." Melda said getting out of the bushes too. The whole fellowship was glaring at her.
"What? Did I do somefink wrong?" She asked innocently raising her eyebrows.
"If I stay with her any longer, I'd be convinced that Sauron has been reincarnated into a body of a fifteen year old girl!" Boromir said trying to stop the bleeding, but with no avail.
"You ARE working for Sauron!" Legolas said searching for his bow and arrows to shoot her. "I knew it! She wants to be rid of us. She just showed the Crebains where we are!"
"Hey! Those birdies already knew where you were! No matter what you did!" Melda retorted.
"How do you know!?" Aragorn said through gritted teeth.
"I just do ok? I'm 'clairvoyant' remember?" Melda smiled evilly.
Gandalf sighed. "Fellowship huddle."
The nine huddled together and just as Melda walked towards them, Gandalf roared. "GO AWAY! YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE REAL FELLOWSHIP!!"
Melda kicked a rock and it eventually hit poor Aragorn's head which began to slowly get red from anger and slumped on the ground, trying to overhear their conversation.
"Okay." Gandalf said in a low voice. "Yes I know Melda has been driving us crazy. We are all thinking of killing her now, right?" Everyone nodded. "But back in Rivendell, I promised Elrond that we would not hurt her. She is a girl from the future and she has all these crazy ideas. She does not understand the ways of Middle-earth, no one in her time really understands. They are very different. Believe me, I have been there. I even heard of someone worst who I remember was called 'Chrisitna Aguilera' or something like that. The point is that he asks us to have patience with her. Give her a chance. Make her see that we are not bad people. Do you understand?"
After a long pause, the fellowship sighed one after the other and agreed.
*~*~*
Will Melda change? Or will things get worst? Will the fellowship last a second longer being nice to her? Or will they get her back for her stubbornness? Read on next time to find out in chapter 12, 'The pranking begins!'! MWHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!
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