Chapter 37
The soothing sounds of Chopin drifted through the townhouse, but did little to improve the mood of the man sitting alone in the living room. Taking another sip of his ice water, Grissom stared at the phone. It was unlikely she'd call, but he was hopeful nonetheless.
Turning his attention to the clock, he saw it was going on 4 p.m. He'd have to get ready to head to the airport soon. If he wasn't the featured speaker, Grissom would have cancelled his plans to attend the seminar. The timing was terrible.
His eyes wandered over to Sara's plants sitting on his table. He had promised to take care of them while she was on vacation. If she didn't call soon, they wouldn't have a chance to see each other for two weeks. She'd be leaving for California before he got back from Denver.
Grissom got up and walked to the plants, making sure they were watered. He double-checked the note he had left for his house-sitter, reminding her to mist the bonsai everyday when she came to feed his bugs. True to her nature, Sara had refused to give up on the azalea. It seemed to be recovering. He hoped she was doing as well.
Today was her deposition; it had started nearly eight hours ago. He had told her to call him when she was done if she needed to unwind, but she had only said she would think about it. While she seemed grateful for the offer, he knew this was something she didn't want to share with him.
It had been obvious to everyone that she hadn't been looking forward to being deposed. In fact, as the date approached, her stress levels increased and her temper shortened. In private, Sara had refused to even discuss it with Grissom.
He recognized this was forcing her to relive something she wanted to forget, but he was beginning to worry about what exactly it was she wanted to forget. Besides a questionable newspaper article and Nick's cryptic clue that she questioned whether she could have done more, Grissom had no idea what had happened to Sara on that bus. He feared it was more serious than he originally believed.
When he finally asked Philip Kane directly, the psychologist refused to answer, explaining it was a subject Sara didn't want discussed. That had been disconcerting; she had willingly opened the other details of her therapy up to him.
Unfortunately, she wouldn't tell him, either. While they had actually spent quite a lot of time together over the last few days, she had purposefully kept the discussions on trivial subjects. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad sign.
Since Catherine had interrupted their hug last week, Sara had become a bit withdrawn around him. At first, he feared he had made her angry by not giving her the space she had requested. But he had been uncertain what else he could have done, given the circumstances. Ignoring her would have been cruel.
After fleeing his office, she had spent the rest of that night avoiding him, a fact not lost on the rest of the team. As much as he disliked being cast as the office villain, it was better than their later pity.
On the following evening, he found a card on his desk. In it, Sara apologized for both the hug and the earlier kiss, writing that she knew that they were both inappropriate for the workplace. She added that if any professional repercussions arose, she would take full responsibility, as she had initiated both encounters.
The note became more personal when Sara wrote that she understood that he was wary of an intra-office relationship, especially with a subordinate. She added that she hoped he understood that she hadn't meant to either make him uncomfortable or embarrass him. It ended with a request that he not let this stand in the way of their re-developing friendship.
When he finished, Grissom felt confused. Part of him was glad that she wasn't angry with him, and that she understood why he had been hesitant about becoming involved. But at the same time, the formality of the note seemed almost cold. It made him question if he had misread her intentions. Was a friendship all she was interested in? But then why had she kissed him?
Knowing he'd never figure it out on his own, but wondering if he was pushing his luck, Grissom tracked her down in her office and asked if she would like to join him later for lunch. Much to his relief, she accepted without hesitation.
Sara was the first to notice the mixture of confused and harsh looks directed their way later when they walked through the hallways towards the exit. Grissom waited until they were in his SUV to explain that the others had seen her leave his office agitated, and had assumed he had done something to make her upset again.
While he said it lightly, the revelation had made Sara surprisingly upset. She had promised to find Catherine when they got back and explain what had really happened, but he asked her not to. At Sara's confused look, he explained that he wasn't bothered and would prefer she not talk about it. His tone had indicated it wasn't a subject he wanted to drop.
Letting out a sigh, Grissom stared at the phone again. If he hadn't been so distracted by her rubbing her hand over his hand that night, he probably would have realized he should have explained his reasoning to Sara then. It would have saved them both a lot of trouble if he had.
Honestly, it did bother him slightly that the team thought he was to blame for her being upset. But that wasn't nearly as disturbing as the thought of their relationship becoming common knowledge. The truth was Grissom had been feeling overwhelmed.
It was rare for him to discuss his personal life. He accepted doing so with Sara, and he understood he needed to do so with Philip. But on several occasions since the accident, Catherine had drug more out of him than he was comfortable with and the idea of more of his private life becoming public was unsettling.
Sara had dropped the matter as they entered the diner and Grissom waited until they had their sandwiches before he broached the subject of her note. She gave him a rueful smile and apologized again, saying she was sorry she hadn't been able to control her outbursts. He lightly joked that he preferred her latest outbursts to her temper, which of course, made her angry.
That was when he realized the extent to which Sara was embarrassed by her lack of control. She had always been emotional, but they had never controlled her. The semblance of control she had regained since the accident was being lost to the stress of the upcoming deposition.
A simultaneous "I'm sorry" had broken the tension and they both had laughed. Grissom briefly tried to discuss the deposition with Sara, since she had never been involved in a civil case before. He had wanted her to understand what to expect, but he had quickly recognized she didn't want to talk about it. They ended up spending the rest of the meal talking about inconsequential topics.
A page from Brass had ended the meal early. Walking back to his Tahoe, Sara had asked shyly if he wanted to continue their experiment over breakfast. He had eagerly agreed and dropped her off at the lab feeling better than he had in a while.
When he had returned to the lab a few hours later, it took him a moment to realize something had changed. People were still staring at him as he walked down the hallway. After another moment, he noticed they were no longer angry looks. Some were apologetic, some shocked and more than a few were amused. He had no idea what was going on until he bumped into Greg.
"So, you and Sara, huh? Guess I never had a chance," the lab tech had said in a jovial tone. His humor had disappeared when Grissom dragged him into his office and slammed the door shut.
"What the hell are you talking about Greg?"
"Uh, you and Sara. Working things out. That's good. Uh …"
"How the hell did you find out?"
Greg had blanched under the verbal assault. For the first time since the accident, Grissom had lost control of his temper. The stress had been getting to him as well, but this was the first time he had let it out, and the lab tech was bearing the full brunt of it.
"It was an accident," Greg had stuttered when he realized the trouble he had caused. "Sara didn't mean to say anything. It was Cath, and then the cat fight, and she was trying to be helpful …"
"Greg, start at the beginning and don't even think of leaving anything out."
The frightened lab tech recalled how Catherine had cornered Sara in the break room when she returned from lunch. That the older woman wanted to know why she had gone to lunch with him, when he hadn't been listening to her requests to back off. That he was essentially a basket case – while those were Greg's words, it had been obvious Catherine said something else – and she'd be better off just giving up on him.
Sara had tried to avoid the conversation, but Nick had joined in, questioning why she bothered to defend him. She had warned both of them to drop the topic, but they both turned on her, wanting to know what had gotten into her, if she was so needy that she was willing to accept the little Grissom could offer.
Grissom had winced at that, not because of what they thought of him, but he knew under normal circumstances Sara would have reacted harshly to someone implying that of her. Needless to say, they had managed to trigger an angry response from Sara. She had bluntly told them to leave her alone and to stay out of her life. When they had fired back that they were trying to help her and not use her, Sara had finally lost control. She told them that Grissom had been doing more to help her than everyone else combined.
Greg had swallowed nervously before letting the bombshell drop: Sara had revealed he was seeing Kane.
Grissom had stormed out of his office, unable to believe what had happened. For the first time in ages, he had trusted someone on a deeply personal level. It had taken her no time at all to betray that trust. When Catherine came out of the A/V lab and tried to calm him down, he simply told her quietly to perform a procreative act by herself.
Barging into Sara's office, he began berating her for violating his trust. It wasn't until after a long rant that he realized she had spent the entire time facing out the window. Walking around her desk, he had spun her chair to face him and then stepped back in shock.
It had been clear she had been crying for a long time, even before he had started yelling at her. She had been pale, trembling and refused to look at him. He had knelt beside her, but Sara had pulled back, as if she were afraid of him. It was then that Greg's words had hit him: it had been an accident. Catherine had triggered an outburst from her.
Silently cursing himself, he had softly and calmly talked to her, trying to apologize. After a few minutes, she had finally looked at him and whispered she was sorry. He had tried to pull her into a hug, but she wouldn't allow it. He spent a little while longer with her, reassuring her that he knew it had been accidental. It hadn't seemed to help any.
She never showed up for breakfast the next morning and had called in sick the that night. Grissom had spent the shift angrily staring down anyone who approached him with anything not work-related. In the morning, he had stopped by her apartment, but her SUV wasn't in the parking lot and she hadn't answered. The following evening, she stopped by his townhouse before work. They had spent more than two hours talking, but both knew things weren't as good as they had been beforehand.
At the end of the next shift, Sara had handed him the vacation request, simply stating she wanted to visit her parents. He had no reason to deny the request and had admitted the time off would probably do her good. He gladly agreed to water her plants for her, but was a little surprised when she brought them over, rather than just letting him borrow a key.
Since then, they'd had shared at least one meal together every day, but Sara still seemed distant. Grissom knew she was embarrassed that she had lost control and sorry that she had let slip he was seeing a psychologist, but he couldn't help but fear something else was wrong.
He let out another long sigh. She still hadn't called. Taking one last look around the townhouse, he gathered up his bags and left, unable to shake the feeling that something was very wrong.
The soothing sounds of Chopin drifted through the townhouse, but did little to improve the mood of the man sitting alone in the living room. Taking another sip of his ice water, Grissom stared at the phone. It was unlikely she'd call, but he was hopeful nonetheless.
Turning his attention to the clock, he saw it was going on 4 p.m. He'd have to get ready to head to the airport soon. If he wasn't the featured speaker, Grissom would have cancelled his plans to attend the seminar. The timing was terrible.
His eyes wandered over to Sara's plants sitting on his table. He had promised to take care of them while she was on vacation. If she didn't call soon, they wouldn't have a chance to see each other for two weeks. She'd be leaving for California before he got back from Denver.
Grissom got up and walked to the plants, making sure they were watered. He double-checked the note he had left for his house-sitter, reminding her to mist the bonsai everyday when she came to feed his bugs. True to her nature, Sara had refused to give up on the azalea. It seemed to be recovering. He hoped she was doing as well.
Today was her deposition; it had started nearly eight hours ago. He had told her to call him when she was done if she needed to unwind, but she had only said she would think about it. While she seemed grateful for the offer, he knew this was something she didn't want to share with him.
It had been obvious to everyone that she hadn't been looking forward to being deposed. In fact, as the date approached, her stress levels increased and her temper shortened. In private, Sara had refused to even discuss it with Grissom.
He recognized this was forcing her to relive something she wanted to forget, but he was beginning to worry about what exactly it was she wanted to forget. Besides a questionable newspaper article and Nick's cryptic clue that she questioned whether she could have done more, Grissom had no idea what had happened to Sara on that bus. He feared it was more serious than he originally believed.
When he finally asked Philip Kane directly, the psychologist refused to answer, explaining it was a subject Sara didn't want discussed. That had been disconcerting; she had willingly opened the other details of her therapy up to him.
Unfortunately, she wouldn't tell him, either. While they had actually spent quite a lot of time together over the last few days, she had purposefully kept the discussions on trivial subjects. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad sign.
Since Catherine had interrupted their hug last week, Sara had become a bit withdrawn around him. At first, he feared he had made her angry by not giving her the space she had requested. But he had been uncertain what else he could have done, given the circumstances. Ignoring her would have been cruel.
After fleeing his office, she had spent the rest of that night avoiding him, a fact not lost on the rest of the team. As much as he disliked being cast as the office villain, it was better than their later pity.
On the following evening, he found a card on his desk. In it, Sara apologized for both the hug and the earlier kiss, writing that she knew that they were both inappropriate for the workplace. She added that if any professional repercussions arose, she would take full responsibility, as she had initiated both encounters.
The note became more personal when Sara wrote that she understood that he was wary of an intra-office relationship, especially with a subordinate. She added that she hoped he understood that she hadn't meant to either make him uncomfortable or embarrass him. It ended with a request that he not let this stand in the way of their re-developing friendship.
When he finished, Grissom felt confused. Part of him was glad that she wasn't angry with him, and that she understood why he had been hesitant about becoming involved. But at the same time, the formality of the note seemed almost cold. It made him question if he had misread her intentions. Was a friendship all she was interested in? But then why had she kissed him?
Knowing he'd never figure it out on his own, but wondering if he was pushing his luck, Grissom tracked her down in her office and asked if she would like to join him later for lunch. Much to his relief, she accepted without hesitation.
Sara was the first to notice the mixture of confused and harsh looks directed their way later when they walked through the hallways towards the exit. Grissom waited until they were in his SUV to explain that the others had seen her leave his office agitated, and had assumed he had done something to make her upset again.
While he said it lightly, the revelation had made Sara surprisingly upset. She had promised to find Catherine when they got back and explain what had really happened, but he asked her not to. At Sara's confused look, he explained that he wasn't bothered and would prefer she not talk about it. His tone had indicated it wasn't a subject he wanted to drop.
Letting out a sigh, Grissom stared at the phone again. If he hadn't been so distracted by her rubbing her hand over his hand that night, he probably would have realized he should have explained his reasoning to Sara then. It would have saved them both a lot of trouble if he had.
Honestly, it did bother him slightly that the team thought he was to blame for her being upset. But that wasn't nearly as disturbing as the thought of their relationship becoming common knowledge. The truth was Grissom had been feeling overwhelmed.
It was rare for him to discuss his personal life. He accepted doing so with Sara, and he understood he needed to do so with Philip. But on several occasions since the accident, Catherine had drug more out of him than he was comfortable with and the idea of more of his private life becoming public was unsettling.
Sara had dropped the matter as they entered the diner and Grissom waited until they had their sandwiches before he broached the subject of her note. She gave him a rueful smile and apologized again, saying she was sorry she hadn't been able to control her outbursts. He lightly joked that he preferred her latest outbursts to her temper, which of course, made her angry.
That was when he realized the extent to which Sara was embarrassed by her lack of control. She had always been emotional, but they had never controlled her. The semblance of control she had regained since the accident was being lost to the stress of the upcoming deposition.
A simultaneous "I'm sorry" had broken the tension and they both had laughed. Grissom briefly tried to discuss the deposition with Sara, since she had never been involved in a civil case before. He had wanted her to understand what to expect, but he had quickly recognized she didn't want to talk about it. They ended up spending the rest of the meal talking about inconsequential topics.
A page from Brass had ended the meal early. Walking back to his Tahoe, Sara had asked shyly if he wanted to continue their experiment over breakfast. He had eagerly agreed and dropped her off at the lab feeling better than he had in a while.
When he had returned to the lab a few hours later, it took him a moment to realize something had changed. People were still staring at him as he walked down the hallway. After another moment, he noticed they were no longer angry looks. Some were apologetic, some shocked and more than a few were amused. He had no idea what was going on until he bumped into Greg.
"So, you and Sara, huh? Guess I never had a chance," the lab tech had said in a jovial tone. His humor had disappeared when Grissom dragged him into his office and slammed the door shut.
"What the hell are you talking about Greg?"
"Uh, you and Sara. Working things out. That's good. Uh …"
"How the hell did you find out?"
Greg had blanched under the verbal assault. For the first time since the accident, Grissom had lost control of his temper. The stress had been getting to him as well, but this was the first time he had let it out, and the lab tech was bearing the full brunt of it.
"It was an accident," Greg had stuttered when he realized the trouble he had caused. "Sara didn't mean to say anything. It was Cath, and then the cat fight, and she was trying to be helpful …"
"Greg, start at the beginning and don't even think of leaving anything out."
The frightened lab tech recalled how Catherine had cornered Sara in the break room when she returned from lunch. That the older woman wanted to know why she had gone to lunch with him, when he hadn't been listening to her requests to back off. That he was essentially a basket case – while those were Greg's words, it had been obvious Catherine said something else – and she'd be better off just giving up on him.
Sara had tried to avoid the conversation, but Nick had joined in, questioning why she bothered to defend him. She had warned both of them to drop the topic, but they both turned on her, wanting to know what had gotten into her, if she was so needy that she was willing to accept the little Grissom could offer.
Grissom had winced at that, not because of what they thought of him, but he knew under normal circumstances Sara would have reacted harshly to someone implying that of her. Needless to say, they had managed to trigger an angry response from Sara. She had bluntly told them to leave her alone and to stay out of her life. When they had fired back that they were trying to help her and not use her, Sara had finally lost control. She told them that Grissom had been doing more to help her than everyone else combined.
Greg had swallowed nervously before letting the bombshell drop: Sara had revealed he was seeing Kane.
Grissom had stormed out of his office, unable to believe what had happened. For the first time in ages, he had trusted someone on a deeply personal level. It had taken her no time at all to betray that trust. When Catherine came out of the A/V lab and tried to calm him down, he simply told her quietly to perform a procreative act by herself.
Barging into Sara's office, he began berating her for violating his trust. It wasn't until after a long rant that he realized she had spent the entire time facing out the window. Walking around her desk, he had spun her chair to face him and then stepped back in shock.
It had been clear she had been crying for a long time, even before he had started yelling at her. She had been pale, trembling and refused to look at him. He had knelt beside her, but Sara had pulled back, as if she were afraid of him. It was then that Greg's words had hit him: it had been an accident. Catherine had triggered an outburst from her.
Silently cursing himself, he had softly and calmly talked to her, trying to apologize. After a few minutes, she had finally looked at him and whispered she was sorry. He had tried to pull her into a hug, but she wouldn't allow it. He spent a little while longer with her, reassuring her that he knew it had been accidental. It hadn't seemed to help any.
She never showed up for breakfast the next morning and had called in sick the that night. Grissom had spent the shift angrily staring down anyone who approached him with anything not work-related. In the morning, he had stopped by her apartment, but her SUV wasn't in the parking lot and she hadn't answered. The following evening, she stopped by his townhouse before work. They had spent more than two hours talking, but both knew things weren't as good as they had been beforehand.
At the end of the next shift, Sara had handed him the vacation request, simply stating she wanted to visit her parents. He had no reason to deny the request and had admitted the time off would probably do her good. He gladly agreed to water her plants for her, but was a little surprised when she brought them over, rather than just letting him borrow a key.
Since then, they'd had shared at least one meal together every day, but Sara still seemed distant. Grissom knew she was embarrassed that she had lost control and sorry that she had let slip he was seeing a psychologist, but he couldn't help but fear something else was wrong.
He let out another long sigh. She still hadn't called. Taking one last look around the townhouse, he gathered up his bags and left, unable to shake the feeling that something was very wrong.