Disclaimer: I forget whether I have to do this stinky thing for every
chapter. Bleh you know the drill.
Author's Note: Umm the insanity continues! Nny's traumatized! Hooray! Ughh I hate reading over what I write...at least I can blame my typos and stupid errors on trying to be funny. Or I could proofread. Yes that's definitely better. This chapter will be much better.
J. Maquerite: There's an idea...need a tissue fo' da drool before da legacy continues? Oh never mind...it's started and I can't control it anymore!!
BloodyScar: Your review hasn't shown up yet...but I KNOW it will....the e- mail creature told me so. I wuv feeling wuved.
Chapter Five
"A WHITE HAIR!!!! GAAH I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED!!! I KNEW IT!!!!"
(No that wasn't the start of the chapter, just a funny quote from the actual chapter because I can't think of a title. Gone to the Ground by F&TM is very annoying.)
It's needless to tell you chipper people that Nny didn't sleep last night. In fact he doubted he would ever sleep again. He just lay there, staring at the wall. "Johnny are you ok?" Jimmy's worried voice penetrated the dark corridors of his mind.
"I am soulless. Let me be...." he said melodramatically.
"Really Johnny-you've got to go to work at some point...they'll ask QUESTIONS! Uncomfortable QUESTIONS!" Jimmy replied anxiously. He made a bold move and walked over to his living god, placing his hands on his arm and practically yanking him out of bed. Johnny managed an 'oof' before shoving Jimmy away from him.
"I'm fine!!! We're all so very fine here!!" he said; mad madness evident with a growl. He turned and strode down the hall way, leaving Jimmy perplexed. Johnny went into the bathroom and slammed the door. It rattled the picture frames. Picture frames filled with surplus hotel paintings....someone had taken them down and drawn tiny perverted things in the corners.
Jimmy sat on the bed, thinking. Was Johnny mad at him? He had obviously done something bad...very bad...he would need to be punished for that. Heh heh punishment....Jimmy! Stop being a pervert! You have a situation here!
"What?" he said to the air. "Johnny?"
No it's not Johnny. Notice how there are no quotation marks around my words? This is the narrator.
"Oh this is very scary...how'd you get in here?"
I'm everywhere Jimmy. This is third person omniscient. I could tell you what Melva was feeling right now if I really wanted to. Do you want to know?
"Not really...that girl freaks me out...I'm still confuzzled about all of this. First I got landed here, then I screwed Johnny and now I'm hearing some creepy voice that calls herself The Narrator.
Jimmy would have continued his lament but there was a blood-curdling shriek from the bathroom.
"Quite it!" he said to The Narrator as he jogged down the hallway. "Johnny are you all right?"
"A WHITE HAIR!!!! GAAH I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED!!! I KNEW IT!!!!" Was the only reply he received. "My beautiful raven-blue hair described to such length by raving fangirls!"
Johnny looked abashed for a moment. "Why did I just say that? I didn't want to say that. I wanted to talk about how I was traumatized by giving into the needs of flesh-- not go into such depth about my hair. What the hell is going on here?"
Jimmy opened the door and held Johnny close. "My god she's gotten to you too. It's THE NARRATOR!!!" Johnny gave him a weird look and pulled away.
"It couldn't be an external force. I am more a threat to my own mind than anyone else. It had to be my MADNESS!" he replied brushing past him.
"So what now? You fuck me and then you don't want to have anything to do with me?" Jimmy squeaked after him. Oh dear god, he thought, she did it again. I didn't want to sound like a trashy soap opera slut boy. I love Johnny. I don't care how he treats me. I wasn't supposed to say THAT! And I squeaked. Why?
Johnny turned, the soap opera light shining in his beautiful onyx eyes. He was an ultra-sexy Greek god of death and doomy destruction! *Screams of fangirl and hellfans,* "If I remember correctly Mr. Jimmy Person, YOU fucked ME. YOU got ME drunk YOU slut!"
Several minutes later on the couch....
"I don't know what's going on here. The OOC! The OOC!" Johnny exclaimed worriedly. Jimmy took a deep sigh.
"It's not difficult. She's screwing with our lines-we don't say things like that! This is NOT a psycho soap opera. Also The Narrator is recording everything we do, when it suits her purposes."
"I say we ignore her. She'll go away eventually," Johnny replied.
"Yeah but by then the story will be over! The damage done!" Jimmy told him.
Johnny stood walking over to the door and opening it. "I dunno. I need some air...I need to go for a walk....I need to go to work..." He pulled out the papers that gave the address and all that of his job. For some reason at least pretending to be a 'normal' person would feel pretty good. He'd probably go into a mad killing rampage by the end of the day, but you know whatever works.
"Well ok, but I'm going to figure this out for us. Find a way to stop her. Yeah that's what I'll do," Jimmy said vengefully, standing, "But don't go spreading this around-people might think you're crazy."
Johnny looked about to say something but decided against it. With a final 'ok' he left and started off into the sun, realizing The Narrator hadn't let him shower or brush his teeth or change his clothes or anything. AND I'M NOT GOING TO EITHER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jimmy on the other hand listened carefully to the running commentary and too started out the door, in the opposite direction- I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!! YOU'RE GOING TO MY HOUSE!!! WELL THEN YOU'LL JUST ARRIVE WEARING A CHICKEN SUIT SO THE POLICE WILL TAKE YOU AWAY!!! YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME!!! PEOPLE HATE PEOPLE IN CHICKEN SUITS!!! I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE!!!!
((So friends, do we want to hear about Johnny's experiences at work or Jimmy's strange trek to my house? It's you're call. I've got stupid ideas for either one. Plenty of them.))
Author's Note: Umm the insanity continues! Nny's traumatized! Hooray! Ughh I hate reading over what I write...at least I can blame my typos and stupid errors on trying to be funny. Or I could proofread. Yes that's definitely better. This chapter will be much better.
J. Maquerite: There's an idea...need a tissue fo' da drool before da legacy continues? Oh never mind...it's started and I can't control it anymore!!
BloodyScar: Your review hasn't shown up yet...but I KNOW it will....the e- mail creature told me so. I wuv feeling wuved.
Chapter Five
"A WHITE HAIR!!!! GAAH I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED!!! I KNEW IT!!!!"
(No that wasn't the start of the chapter, just a funny quote from the actual chapter because I can't think of a title. Gone to the Ground by F&TM is very annoying.)
It's needless to tell you chipper people that Nny didn't sleep last night. In fact he doubted he would ever sleep again. He just lay there, staring at the wall. "Johnny are you ok?" Jimmy's worried voice penetrated the dark corridors of his mind.
"I am soulless. Let me be...." he said melodramatically.
"Really Johnny-you've got to go to work at some point...they'll ask QUESTIONS! Uncomfortable QUESTIONS!" Jimmy replied anxiously. He made a bold move and walked over to his living god, placing his hands on his arm and practically yanking him out of bed. Johnny managed an 'oof' before shoving Jimmy away from him.
"I'm fine!!! We're all so very fine here!!" he said; mad madness evident with a growl. He turned and strode down the hall way, leaving Jimmy perplexed. Johnny went into the bathroom and slammed the door. It rattled the picture frames. Picture frames filled with surplus hotel paintings....someone had taken them down and drawn tiny perverted things in the corners.
Jimmy sat on the bed, thinking. Was Johnny mad at him? He had obviously done something bad...very bad...he would need to be punished for that. Heh heh punishment....Jimmy! Stop being a pervert! You have a situation here!
"What?" he said to the air. "Johnny?"
No it's not Johnny. Notice how there are no quotation marks around my words? This is the narrator.
"Oh this is very scary...how'd you get in here?"
I'm everywhere Jimmy. This is third person omniscient. I could tell you what Melva was feeling right now if I really wanted to. Do you want to know?
"Not really...that girl freaks me out...I'm still confuzzled about all of this. First I got landed here, then I screwed Johnny and now I'm hearing some creepy voice that calls herself The Narrator.
Jimmy would have continued his lament but there was a blood-curdling shriek from the bathroom.
"Quite it!" he said to The Narrator as he jogged down the hallway. "Johnny are you all right?"
"A WHITE HAIR!!!! GAAH I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED!!! I KNEW IT!!!!" Was the only reply he received. "My beautiful raven-blue hair described to such length by raving fangirls!"
Johnny looked abashed for a moment. "Why did I just say that? I didn't want to say that. I wanted to talk about how I was traumatized by giving into the needs of flesh-- not go into such depth about my hair. What the hell is going on here?"
Jimmy opened the door and held Johnny close. "My god she's gotten to you too. It's THE NARRATOR!!!" Johnny gave him a weird look and pulled away.
"It couldn't be an external force. I am more a threat to my own mind than anyone else. It had to be my MADNESS!" he replied brushing past him.
"So what now? You fuck me and then you don't want to have anything to do with me?" Jimmy squeaked after him. Oh dear god, he thought, she did it again. I didn't want to sound like a trashy soap opera slut boy. I love Johnny. I don't care how he treats me. I wasn't supposed to say THAT! And I squeaked. Why?
Johnny turned, the soap opera light shining in his beautiful onyx eyes. He was an ultra-sexy Greek god of death and doomy destruction! *Screams of fangirl and hellfans,* "If I remember correctly Mr. Jimmy Person, YOU fucked ME. YOU got ME drunk YOU slut!"
Several minutes later on the couch....
"I don't know what's going on here. The OOC! The OOC!" Johnny exclaimed worriedly. Jimmy took a deep sigh.
"It's not difficult. She's screwing with our lines-we don't say things like that! This is NOT a psycho soap opera. Also The Narrator is recording everything we do, when it suits her purposes."
"I say we ignore her. She'll go away eventually," Johnny replied.
"Yeah but by then the story will be over! The damage done!" Jimmy told him.
Johnny stood walking over to the door and opening it. "I dunno. I need some air...I need to go for a walk....I need to go to work..." He pulled out the papers that gave the address and all that of his job. For some reason at least pretending to be a 'normal' person would feel pretty good. He'd probably go into a mad killing rampage by the end of the day, but you know whatever works.
"Well ok, but I'm going to figure this out for us. Find a way to stop her. Yeah that's what I'll do," Jimmy said vengefully, standing, "But don't go spreading this around-people might think you're crazy."
Johnny looked about to say something but decided against it. With a final 'ok' he left and started off into the sun, realizing The Narrator hadn't let him shower or brush his teeth or change his clothes or anything. AND I'M NOT GOING TO EITHER HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jimmy on the other hand listened carefully to the running commentary and too started out the door, in the opposite direction- I KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING!!! YOU'RE GOING TO MY HOUSE!!! WELL THEN YOU'LL JUST ARRIVE WEARING A CHICKEN SUIT SO THE POLICE WILL TAKE YOU AWAY!!! YOU'LL NEVER FIND ME!!! PEOPLE HATE PEOPLE IN CHICKEN SUITS!!! I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE!!!!
((So friends, do we want to hear about Johnny's experiences at work or Jimmy's strange trek to my house? It's you're call. I've got stupid ideas for either one. Plenty of them.))