Chapter 3 Without Logan
Unable to sleep, she rolled around in her bed. She forced herself to keep her eyes open. Because she knew as soon as she closed them, the nightmares would come. She was just so tired of being scared all the time, she hated waking up every night, bathed in sweat with tears all over her face.
Her marks got worse every day, she just couldn't listen to what the teachers were saying. She had too much on her mind. And her dream to become a teacher at college or a politician receded into the distance.
She stood up and walked over to the window. Thoughtfully she watched the cloudless sky and the bright shining stars. And she couldn't stop herself from thinking about Logan. Where was he? Was he okay? Did he miss her as much as she missed him? Every day she awoke knowing he wasn't there, she felt how much she really needed him. How much she loved him.
She snorted, enraged. That was so typical her. She always realized things like that too late. And now he was gone and she was all alone. Soon the rage turned into sadness. Sighing she leaned her head against the cold glass.
"Come back Logan. Please come back," she whispered quietly. "I need you." But he didn't and disappointed she went back to bed to sleep, even if she knew that soon she would wake up after all. Because with Logan gone, her nightmares would get worse. She curled up into a ball and closed her eyes. A single tear was rolling down her cheek.
A few hours later:
Rogue sat in the living-room watching TV. Bobby sat beside her, his arm around her shoulder. He forgave her, like she had foreseen it. Now that Logan was gone, he was relieved and thought everything would go back to normal.
But that was impossible. Because she knew something he didn't. The kiss of Logan and her flooded through her mind again and again and made her feel worse than ever.
Jubilee sat with them and noticed her friend being depressed. So, she looked at Bobby. "Please Bobby. Do me a favour and get me something to drink, will ya?"
He growled slightly but stood up and went to the kitchen. Jubilee sat down beside her friend.
"Hey Rogue. What's going on with you?"
Rogue looked up. "Nothing," she muttered but Jubilee shook her head.
"Come on. I'm not stupid. I know something's wrong. But I don't understand why, I mean everything is okay between you and Bobby, isn't it? Shouldn't you be happy"?
She shook her head and suddenly began to cry. Jubilee was really shocked to see her friend like that. Quickly she wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her back comfortingly.
"I kissed him," she whispered quietly. "I kissed Logan".
Jubilee gasped. "You did what?" Rogue looked up again. "Well, actually he kissed me but I kissed him back. And you know I feel terrible about it, cause of Bobby. I mean he's my boyfriend," she sobbed.
"Just tell him, he'll understand. I mean he loves you and you love him too, right?" Rogue shrugged her shoulder. "That's problem number 2. I don't know. I mean I think I love him in some way. But then there is Logan. and I... I just miss him so much. I want him to come back. I need him." She choked out.
Jubilee nodded slightly. She understood. "I'm sure he will Rogue. And then you'll figure things out. I mean if you really love him and not Bobby."
Rogue wiped the tears away. Now she really felt better. She smiled and thankfully hugged her friend. "Thank you so much Jubes. What would I do without you"?
"I don't want to imagine that catastrophe," she giggled and they began to laugh. Then Bobby arrived. He saw Rogues swollen eyes.
Concerned he sat down beside her. "Hey Honey. What's going on? Are you okay"? She sniffed and nodded. "Allergy, ya know," she quickly said and Jubes nodded.
"She always looks like that! It's awful", she stated.
Rogue rolled her eyes. Bobby nodded and together they finished watching TV, till it was time to go to bed.
She stood up and wanted to go to her room when he grabbed her arm. "What? No goodnight kiss Honey?"
She smiled feeling uncomfortable. "Of course", she said and quickly leaned down to kiss him. But then she felt it. Nothing. Nothing at all happened to her. No shudder running through her spin, no electric bolt. She felt like kissing her best friend. Jubilee and Bobby noticed her shocked face.
"Hey! What is it"? He asked worried about her stunned expression. "No. nothing. Good night", she stammered and left the room as fast as she could.
Jubes watched her leave and realized what just had happened. And she was glad her friend finally realized who she belonged to. But she also looked at Bobby in pity. He was a nice guy and he really loved her a lot. It would break his heart.
"But that's the way it goes", she muttered more to herself. He whirled around. "What"?
She shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing".
A few miles away:
Logan stood in front of the phone, not able to move. It was one week after he had left and it almost ripped him apart. He just couldn't stay away from her anymore. He needed to see her, to smell her scent, to hear her beautiful voice again.
He had spent a lot of days thinking about himself and his life. And he just realized how much he really loved and needed his Marie.
She was all that kept his world together, all he needed was her. Nothing else. And somehow he even managed to make this picture of her go away. The picture of a small innocent girl had disappeared. And a picture of a grown up, beautiful and desirable woman replaced it.
Suddenly it didn't feel wrong anymore to love her. But he realized that there was Bobby, he really liked this guy because he loved Rogue with his whole heart and he was good for her. But he also hated him for taking her away from him. Logan knew his love was a forbidden one. But this time that couldn't stop him. He needed her back. And he would do everything to get her.
But at first he had to talk to her. With trembling fingers he took the receiver in his hand and dialed her number.
Then he waited, his heart pounding in his chest madly. And then he heard her lovely voice.
"Hello"? He cleared his throat. "Hey. hey it's Logan". A short pause, then he heard again. "Logan? Logan is that really you?" She sounded excited.
"Well, yes it's me. How are you Baby", he asked, not noticing how easily the Baby had slipped out of his mouth.
"I'm. I'm great and what about you? Where are you?" He smiled slightly. "New York City. Just a few miles away from you". Another short pause. "Logan.mhm.I... miss you", she said quietly and made his heart jump.
He sighed. "I miss you too. I really do". "Can't you.can't you just come back? Please Logan, I swear I won't bother you. But I want you to come back", she whispered.
He laughed. "Oh Honey. Of course, I'm already on my way back. But I needed to talk to you first, do you understand? I need to know if you're still mad at me", he asked afraid to hear her answer.
"What? Why.oh yeah. No of course not. Actually I have to tell you something", she answered and he sighed relieved.
"Spit it out", he repeated, curious what she would say.
"Well, I...I wasn't mad at you at all. I was mad at me, okay? I was confused. When you. kissed me, something happened. Something that never happens when I kiss Bobby. I figured a few things out while you were gone."
He felt like his heart would burst. She had felt it too. She had felt the same thing like he had. "What?"
"I...I figured out. That I love Bobby", she said and his heart sank. It was like she could feel his disappointment. Quickly she added, "That I love Bobby like a brother or best friend. Nothing more. You're the one I really love. Sorry I didn't figure it out sooner. I was so stupid."
He smiled happily. "I love you too", he simply said and heard her gasp. "You do? Really?" "Of course. I love you and I need you Rogue."
He heard her laughing, relieved. "And what now", he asked, not really caring about it. As long as she loved him back, everything was alright.
"Get your ass back here Honey. That's all I want you to do. Right now"; she said and laughed even more. He kissed her through the phone.
"I'm on my way Honey. See you in a few hours. Bye", he said and hung up. Without hesitation he hopped on his bike and drove off. Back home. Back to his Rogue. And he felt happier than he ever had before.
Unable to sleep, she rolled around in her bed. She forced herself to keep her eyes open. Because she knew as soon as she closed them, the nightmares would come. She was just so tired of being scared all the time, she hated waking up every night, bathed in sweat with tears all over her face.
Her marks got worse every day, she just couldn't listen to what the teachers were saying. She had too much on her mind. And her dream to become a teacher at college or a politician receded into the distance.
She stood up and walked over to the window. Thoughtfully she watched the cloudless sky and the bright shining stars. And she couldn't stop herself from thinking about Logan. Where was he? Was he okay? Did he miss her as much as she missed him? Every day she awoke knowing he wasn't there, she felt how much she really needed him. How much she loved him.
She snorted, enraged. That was so typical her. She always realized things like that too late. And now he was gone and she was all alone. Soon the rage turned into sadness. Sighing she leaned her head against the cold glass.
"Come back Logan. Please come back," she whispered quietly. "I need you." But he didn't and disappointed she went back to bed to sleep, even if she knew that soon she would wake up after all. Because with Logan gone, her nightmares would get worse. She curled up into a ball and closed her eyes. A single tear was rolling down her cheek.
A few hours later:
Rogue sat in the living-room watching TV. Bobby sat beside her, his arm around her shoulder. He forgave her, like she had foreseen it. Now that Logan was gone, he was relieved and thought everything would go back to normal.
But that was impossible. Because she knew something he didn't. The kiss of Logan and her flooded through her mind again and again and made her feel worse than ever.
Jubilee sat with them and noticed her friend being depressed. So, she looked at Bobby. "Please Bobby. Do me a favour and get me something to drink, will ya?"
He growled slightly but stood up and went to the kitchen. Jubilee sat down beside her friend.
"Hey Rogue. What's going on with you?"
Rogue looked up. "Nothing," she muttered but Jubilee shook her head.
"Come on. I'm not stupid. I know something's wrong. But I don't understand why, I mean everything is okay between you and Bobby, isn't it? Shouldn't you be happy"?
She shook her head and suddenly began to cry. Jubilee was really shocked to see her friend like that. Quickly she wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her back comfortingly.
"I kissed him," she whispered quietly. "I kissed Logan".
Jubilee gasped. "You did what?" Rogue looked up again. "Well, actually he kissed me but I kissed him back. And you know I feel terrible about it, cause of Bobby. I mean he's my boyfriend," she sobbed.
"Just tell him, he'll understand. I mean he loves you and you love him too, right?" Rogue shrugged her shoulder. "That's problem number 2. I don't know. I mean I think I love him in some way. But then there is Logan. and I... I just miss him so much. I want him to come back. I need him." She choked out.
Jubilee nodded slightly. She understood. "I'm sure he will Rogue. And then you'll figure things out. I mean if you really love him and not Bobby."
Rogue wiped the tears away. Now she really felt better. She smiled and thankfully hugged her friend. "Thank you so much Jubes. What would I do without you"?
"I don't want to imagine that catastrophe," she giggled and they began to laugh. Then Bobby arrived. He saw Rogues swollen eyes.
Concerned he sat down beside her. "Hey Honey. What's going on? Are you okay"? She sniffed and nodded. "Allergy, ya know," she quickly said and Jubes nodded.
"She always looks like that! It's awful", she stated.
Rogue rolled her eyes. Bobby nodded and together they finished watching TV, till it was time to go to bed.
She stood up and wanted to go to her room when he grabbed her arm. "What? No goodnight kiss Honey?"
She smiled feeling uncomfortable. "Of course", she said and quickly leaned down to kiss him. But then she felt it. Nothing. Nothing at all happened to her. No shudder running through her spin, no electric bolt. She felt like kissing her best friend. Jubilee and Bobby noticed her shocked face.
"Hey! What is it"? He asked worried about her stunned expression. "No. nothing. Good night", she stammered and left the room as fast as she could.
Jubes watched her leave and realized what just had happened. And she was glad her friend finally realized who she belonged to. But she also looked at Bobby in pity. He was a nice guy and he really loved her a lot. It would break his heart.
"But that's the way it goes", she muttered more to herself. He whirled around. "What"?
She shrugged her shoulders. "Nothing".
A few miles away:
Logan stood in front of the phone, not able to move. It was one week after he had left and it almost ripped him apart. He just couldn't stay away from her anymore. He needed to see her, to smell her scent, to hear her beautiful voice again.
He had spent a lot of days thinking about himself and his life. And he just realized how much he really loved and needed his Marie.
She was all that kept his world together, all he needed was her. Nothing else. And somehow he even managed to make this picture of her go away. The picture of a small innocent girl had disappeared. And a picture of a grown up, beautiful and desirable woman replaced it.
Suddenly it didn't feel wrong anymore to love her. But he realized that there was Bobby, he really liked this guy because he loved Rogue with his whole heart and he was good for her. But he also hated him for taking her away from him. Logan knew his love was a forbidden one. But this time that couldn't stop him. He needed her back. And he would do everything to get her.
But at first he had to talk to her. With trembling fingers he took the receiver in his hand and dialed her number.
Then he waited, his heart pounding in his chest madly. And then he heard her lovely voice.
"Hello"? He cleared his throat. "Hey. hey it's Logan". A short pause, then he heard again. "Logan? Logan is that really you?" She sounded excited.
"Well, yes it's me. How are you Baby", he asked, not noticing how easily the Baby had slipped out of his mouth.
"I'm. I'm great and what about you? Where are you?" He smiled slightly. "New York City. Just a few miles away from you". Another short pause. "Logan.mhm.I... miss you", she said quietly and made his heart jump.
He sighed. "I miss you too. I really do". "Can't you.can't you just come back? Please Logan, I swear I won't bother you. But I want you to come back", she whispered.
He laughed. "Oh Honey. Of course, I'm already on my way back. But I needed to talk to you first, do you understand? I need to know if you're still mad at me", he asked afraid to hear her answer.
"What? Why.oh yeah. No of course not. Actually I have to tell you something", she answered and he sighed relieved.
"Spit it out", he repeated, curious what she would say.
"Well, I...I wasn't mad at you at all. I was mad at me, okay? I was confused. When you. kissed me, something happened. Something that never happens when I kiss Bobby. I figured a few things out while you were gone."
He felt like his heart would burst. She had felt it too. She had felt the same thing like he had. "What?"
"I...I figured out. That I love Bobby", she said and his heart sank. It was like she could feel his disappointment. Quickly she added, "That I love Bobby like a brother or best friend. Nothing more. You're the one I really love. Sorry I didn't figure it out sooner. I was so stupid."
He smiled happily. "I love you too", he simply said and heard her gasp. "You do? Really?" "Of course. I love you and I need you Rogue."
He heard her laughing, relieved. "And what now", he asked, not really caring about it. As long as she loved him back, everything was alright.
"Get your ass back here Honey. That's all I want you to do. Right now"; she said and laughed even more. He kissed her through the phone.
"I'm on my way Honey. See you in a few hours. Bye", he said and hung up. Without hesitation he hopped on his bike and drove off. Back home. Back to his Rogue. And he felt happier than he ever had before.