Gomenasai, mina-san. Sorry in advance everybody.
Disclaimer: See previous chapters
Fourth Impact Chapter 18: Guilt
"For the true evolution of mankind."
"We can't let her do that." Ritsuko shouted over the roar of the fireball. "If she does, she'll set off Fourth Impact and all our work will be for nothing."
Jenny tossed the fireball up and down on one hand. "I think that you might want to step back." She said. "We're all going to die soon, but if you're farther away it will be less painful." She glanced at Kaoru sadly. "Unfortunately, you might not come back, as you are of Adam. I'm not sure about you, either." She nodded to Adam and Lilliko.
She shrugged, causing the fireball to bob. "Oh well." She hurled the ball at Adam.
An AT field shot up, catching the ball. "No." said Tabris. "Humanity should decide for itself when it will evolve."
Jenny turned around to glare at Tabris. "Stay out of this, Tabris." The voice coming out of her was huge and womanly. It had the sound of an angry mother defending her children. "I will not let you contaminate any more of my children."
"Why now, Lillith?" he asked. "Why can't you give the humans more time?"
"Because I have grown tired of waiting. My manipulations under the hands of that false Adam have worn away my patience, and I must act now before that abomination," she pointed to Misa, "awakens her power." Then all hell broke loose.
Fireballs streamed from the girl in all directions, swerving randomly to head toward Adam's sleeping form. AT fields sprung up around the embryo as Kaoru took off into the air, followed by Rei and Adamu. Misa and Lilliko flung up their own fields to protect the other people in the room.
Jenny/Lillith roared at their interference, and her own AT field shot out, trying to pin the Nagisa family to the walls.
Misa screamed. "Jenny! Don't do this!"
Jenny turned to her. "I have to. The Light-giant says that all human suffering will end when Adam is destroyed." She smiled. "I don't want you to be unhappy."
"But we like things the way they are!" Misa shouted back, a part of her mind wondering how she could hear the girl so clearly.
"You don't understand how much better they could be." Lillith turned to the three nephilims projecting their AT fields around Adam. "Look at them. What has their existence done? He will only hurt you, Ikari Misato Soryu."
"Adamu hasn't done anything to me, and he won't." Misa replied forcefully. "He is my friend, and I trust him."
"Where have you gotten these ideas?" asked Jenny/Lillith. She turned to face Shinji. "Ah. The manifest of Adam. The false Messiah. You are the source of this trouble."
Jenny hurled another ball at Adam then turned to the humans. The other balls continued to eat away at Kaoru, Rei and Adamu's combined AT fields. "Since I cannot destroy Adam yet, and Tabris is too mobile currently, I will destroy you." She pointed at Shinji. A fireball burst into existence at her fingertip, even bigger than the ones she had shot at Adam. "Die."
"No!" Misa rushed forward, knocking the girl down physically as the fireball launched. Jenny, caught off guard, let go of her balloon and chucked the fireball straight upwards. The burning sphere hovered for a precarious moment as the balloon floated lazily up toward the ceiling.
"My balloon!" cried Jenny. The balls around Adam disappeared, but the one hovering above them continued to spin.
Misa flung up her AT field over both her and Jenny in preparation for the fireball's fall.
Everyone watched as the balloon touched the ceiling and popped.
Misa turned to see only a puddle of LCL in her arms.
The fireball fell.
Misa shrieked as the ball impacted her AT field, eating away at her defenses. Adamu was instantly beside her, adding his AT field to hers.
Misa crouched, frozen with fear as the fireball roared above her. Then it was all around her, and her AT field was alone.
Misa looked up. Around her was an endless field of flowers. Blue sky speckled with small white clouds. She could hear birds singing, and the gurgle of a stream.
"Where am I?" she asked.
"You are in heaven." Said a voice, soothing and soft. She turned to see a young woman with silvery hair standing behind her.
"I died?" she asked. The woman shook her head.
"You are merely outside that crude shell you call a body. Your soul is free. You are in heaven."
"I have to get back." Misa told the woman. "I have to make sure that my friends are all right."
"Most of them will be here soon." Replied the woman. "If you wish it so."
Misa felt something tugging at her pant leg. She turned to see Jenny standing next to her, once again holding the balloon. "Hello, Misa-san." Jenny said sweetly. "Can you stay here?"
"I have to go!" repeated Misa. "I have to get back to my friends. I can't abandon them to die. And even if I did," she turned to the woman, "Lilliko, Adamu, and their parents wouldn't come here, would they, Lillith."
"Of course not." Lillith replied. "They would join Adam in hell."
"I can't stay here." Misa repeated once more, and shut her eyes, trying to escape from this fantasy. "Staying here would be the same as running. I mustn't run away." (AN: I just had to put that in somewhere.)
"Stop that." Lillith commanded, glowing. "Stop that, now." She reached out to grab Misa.
Suddenly Misa's AT field surged up around her. Lillith pulled back, startled. "I will not." She told Lillith. "You may have been the mother of all humanity, but the children have to make their own decisions." And then she was back. She was once again kneeling on the platform next to Adam, shrieking underneath her AT field. But the fireball was gone. She stopped screaming and stood up, dissipating her field. Everyone was in the same positions they had been when she had been enveloped.
"Jenny!" She cried, kneeling down again to stare into the puddle beneath her. "I killed her."
"There was nothing you could have done." Adamu said, crouching next to her and putting an arm around her shoulders. "There was absolutely nothing that you could have done."
"But." she began to protest, tears pouring down her stricken face.
"But nothing. You had no chance to save her. You did what you had to." He glanced at her father. "Jenny was under Lillith's control. There was no way that you could have prevented what happened."
She flung herself onto him, crying into his shoulder. He helped her to her feet and guided her toward the door.
"Lock this place up." He told Ritsuko. "Fill it with bakelite and let's go. This place makes me sick."
Ritsuko nodded dumbly as he led Misa out of the room.
"Ikari-san?" asked the teacher. Takoru stood up.
"Ikari-san's parents informed me that she won't be coming to school for a while." He said for her. "A friend of hers died over the weekend, and she needs time to mourn."
The teacher nodded in sympathy, and moved on to the next student.
Takoru sat down. His story wasn't entirely true. Misato was using the time to push herself deeper and deeper into an abyss of guilt and depression. She had locked herself in her room and refused to see anyone.
What had happened underneath the fireball? He wondered. It had landed on her, but then it had passed through her. She looked shaken when she emerged, even before she registered Jenny's demise.
He looked up suddenly. His hand dropped the pen and his eyes widened. The first of Lillith's Chosen had perished without completing the mission. He closed his eyes in sympathy, then picked the pen up again. "Sorry about that." He said to the clerk.
"It's all right, Mr. Sudermann." The clerk replied. "The heat is getting to all of us these days."
Lillith's sixth chosen finished signing the form and stepped out into the crowds boarding the boat. Entering his room, he sat down and closed his eyes once again. Loosing the First Chosen was a shock, one that even all of Lillith's training had not prepared him for.
"Perhaps I should wait." He said to himself. "I can hide myself in Japan, and come out when I am ready. Yes, that seems a better course of action."
Unit 16 had reacted similarly when it felt Jenny's death, only its feelings were not of sadness but of satisfaction at the death of one of Lillith's accursed Chosen.
That made one less obstacle standing between it and Adam. But still it needed time. Adam was still too asleep to cause Fourth Impact the way Unit 16 desired, and Unit 16 knew of no way to wake it without affecting its scenario. Unit 16 would have to wait for Adam to awaken on its own.
"Misato-chan." Shinji called. "Please, I understand what you're going through. Remember, I went through it myself."
"Go away father. You killed a person who betrayed you. I killed a little girl."
"I killed one of the few people who loved me." he replied. "He was just as innocent as Jenny."
The doorbell rang and Asuka opened it. She grabbed Adamu's arm, hauled him inside and shoved him to Misato's door.
"You go in there and help her out." Asuka told him. "I don't know why, but she listens to you."
"Why can't your husband go in?" he asked, confused.
"Because your father survived." She responded, almost making it an accusation. "Misato believes that Shinji can't understand because he didn't really kill Kaoru."
"So why will she listen to me?" asked Adamu. "We've only known each other for two months."
"She'll listen to you because that's the way she is." Asuka informed him firmly. He knocked dubiously on Misato's door.
"Misa-chan? It's Adamu. Can I come in?"
She didn't respond. He took that as a good sign and tried the handle. The door was locked.
"Can you open it?" he asked. Her parents shook their heads. Shinji pointed to the lock.
"Asuka insisted that Misato have absolute privacy when she wanted." Asuka glared at her husband, but nodded.
Adamu nodded, then turned to the door and manifested his AT field in a long wrinkled spike. He jammed it into the keyhole and twisted. The door swung open, and he stepped inside.
She was sitting on her bed, curled up and crying into her knees. "Don't look at me." she told him. "I'm a monster."
"Ikari Misato Soryu." he said, his voice dripping with scorn. "So, this is where you've been hiding."
She turned to face him, confused. He shook his head. "I am very disappointed in you." he continued. "To think that a Soryu would break down and cry like a little baby because of something that wasn't her fault. Perhaps the so-called strength of the Soryu line is simply a front."
"That's not true!" she retorted. "There must have been something that I could do."
"Well then, it looks like the old Soryu intelligence must be the deception." He said mockingly. She stood up.
"Do not insult the Soryu line, or you will live to regret it." She told him.
"Then why couldn't you figure it out? Or maybe a Soryu wouldn't have the brains."
"I have the brains." She said in a deadly whisper. "If there was something, I could have found it."
"But you didn't." he reminded her. "And therefore there was nothing." She glared at him until his words sunk in past her guilt and anger. "There was nothing that you could have done."
"But-"
"Surely Soryu-san," he stressed the name, "if there was anything that could have been done to prevent it, you would have figured it out." He said firmly. She nodded, looking away.
He moved closer to her as she looked up again, and their eyes met. Adamu suddenly found himself unable to move as he stared into her eyes.
"Thank you." she said softly. He could only stare, entranced by her deep blue eyes that seemed to go on forever.
He snapped back to reality when she closed her eyes. She gave him a peck on the cheek, a chaste, innocent kiss. It was more than enough to make his mind black out.
She pulled back to find a stunned expression on his face. She smirked. "Now get out of my room before I label you a pervert." He got up, still stunned, and walked out.
He stopped when Asuka grabbed his shoulder. "Thank you, Adamu." She said to him, smiling. Then her expression grew more serious. "But if you ever do that again when I'm around, you'll really regret it. Misato's half Idiot," she jerked a thumb at her husband, who was going into Misato's room, "so she won't get offended as quickly, but I'm a full Soryu, and I will not take those kind of insults to my bloodline."
He nodded to her and continued out of the house. His sister was waiting for him.
"Good job." She said, forgoing the chance to remark on the lipstick stains on his cheek. "I knew that your jerkiness would be useful eventually."
AN: Whack! Layra-chan: When I said kill someone, I didn't mean kill a cute five-year- old girl with a balloon! DreyonLegacy: Sorry! I couldn't think of any other way to deal with her. She was a lot of trouble, and I needed to get rid of her. Believe me, if there was another way. Layra-chan: Hmph. Be glad that I am dependent on you for my nutrition, or you would be short one muse. DreyonLegacy: Once again, sorry for everyone who's upset. I'll try to make it up for you by making the next chapters more light-hearted, maybe so far as humorous. I do need to get back to the humor portion of the fic. And before you hopeless romantics say anything, I'd like to point out that Misato's eyes affected Touji and Misato Sr. the same way, not just Adamu. You'll find out why soon.
Disclaimer: See previous chapters
Fourth Impact Chapter 18: Guilt
"For the true evolution of mankind."
"We can't let her do that." Ritsuko shouted over the roar of the fireball. "If she does, she'll set off Fourth Impact and all our work will be for nothing."
Jenny tossed the fireball up and down on one hand. "I think that you might want to step back." She said. "We're all going to die soon, but if you're farther away it will be less painful." She glanced at Kaoru sadly. "Unfortunately, you might not come back, as you are of Adam. I'm not sure about you, either." She nodded to Adam and Lilliko.
She shrugged, causing the fireball to bob. "Oh well." She hurled the ball at Adam.
An AT field shot up, catching the ball. "No." said Tabris. "Humanity should decide for itself when it will evolve."
Jenny turned around to glare at Tabris. "Stay out of this, Tabris." The voice coming out of her was huge and womanly. It had the sound of an angry mother defending her children. "I will not let you contaminate any more of my children."
"Why now, Lillith?" he asked. "Why can't you give the humans more time?"
"Because I have grown tired of waiting. My manipulations under the hands of that false Adam have worn away my patience, and I must act now before that abomination," she pointed to Misa, "awakens her power." Then all hell broke loose.
Fireballs streamed from the girl in all directions, swerving randomly to head toward Adam's sleeping form. AT fields sprung up around the embryo as Kaoru took off into the air, followed by Rei and Adamu. Misa and Lilliko flung up their own fields to protect the other people in the room.
Jenny/Lillith roared at their interference, and her own AT field shot out, trying to pin the Nagisa family to the walls.
Misa screamed. "Jenny! Don't do this!"
Jenny turned to her. "I have to. The Light-giant says that all human suffering will end when Adam is destroyed." She smiled. "I don't want you to be unhappy."
"But we like things the way they are!" Misa shouted back, a part of her mind wondering how she could hear the girl so clearly.
"You don't understand how much better they could be." Lillith turned to the three nephilims projecting their AT fields around Adam. "Look at them. What has their existence done? He will only hurt you, Ikari Misato Soryu."
"Adamu hasn't done anything to me, and he won't." Misa replied forcefully. "He is my friend, and I trust him."
"Where have you gotten these ideas?" asked Jenny/Lillith. She turned to face Shinji. "Ah. The manifest of Adam. The false Messiah. You are the source of this trouble."
Jenny hurled another ball at Adam then turned to the humans. The other balls continued to eat away at Kaoru, Rei and Adamu's combined AT fields. "Since I cannot destroy Adam yet, and Tabris is too mobile currently, I will destroy you." She pointed at Shinji. A fireball burst into existence at her fingertip, even bigger than the ones she had shot at Adam. "Die."
"No!" Misa rushed forward, knocking the girl down physically as the fireball launched. Jenny, caught off guard, let go of her balloon and chucked the fireball straight upwards. The burning sphere hovered for a precarious moment as the balloon floated lazily up toward the ceiling.
"My balloon!" cried Jenny. The balls around Adam disappeared, but the one hovering above them continued to spin.
Misa flung up her AT field over both her and Jenny in preparation for the fireball's fall.
Everyone watched as the balloon touched the ceiling and popped.
Misa turned to see only a puddle of LCL in her arms.
The fireball fell.
Misa shrieked as the ball impacted her AT field, eating away at her defenses. Adamu was instantly beside her, adding his AT field to hers.
Misa crouched, frozen with fear as the fireball roared above her. Then it was all around her, and her AT field was alone.
Misa looked up. Around her was an endless field of flowers. Blue sky speckled with small white clouds. She could hear birds singing, and the gurgle of a stream.
"Where am I?" she asked.
"You are in heaven." Said a voice, soothing and soft. She turned to see a young woman with silvery hair standing behind her.
"I died?" she asked. The woman shook her head.
"You are merely outside that crude shell you call a body. Your soul is free. You are in heaven."
"I have to get back." Misa told the woman. "I have to make sure that my friends are all right."
"Most of them will be here soon." Replied the woman. "If you wish it so."
Misa felt something tugging at her pant leg. She turned to see Jenny standing next to her, once again holding the balloon. "Hello, Misa-san." Jenny said sweetly. "Can you stay here?"
"I have to go!" repeated Misa. "I have to get back to my friends. I can't abandon them to die. And even if I did," she turned to the woman, "Lilliko, Adamu, and their parents wouldn't come here, would they, Lillith."
"Of course not." Lillith replied. "They would join Adam in hell."
"I can't stay here." Misa repeated once more, and shut her eyes, trying to escape from this fantasy. "Staying here would be the same as running. I mustn't run away." (AN: I just had to put that in somewhere.)
"Stop that." Lillith commanded, glowing. "Stop that, now." She reached out to grab Misa.
Suddenly Misa's AT field surged up around her. Lillith pulled back, startled. "I will not." She told Lillith. "You may have been the mother of all humanity, but the children have to make their own decisions." And then she was back. She was once again kneeling on the platform next to Adam, shrieking underneath her AT field. But the fireball was gone. She stopped screaming and stood up, dissipating her field. Everyone was in the same positions they had been when she had been enveloped.
"Jenny!" She cried, kneeling down again to stare into the puddle beneath her. "I killed her."
"There was nothing you could have done." Adamu said, crouching next to her and putting an arm around her shoulders. "There was absolutely nothing that you could have done."
"But." she began to protest, tears pouring down her stricken face.
"But nothing. You had no chance to save her. You did what you had to." He glanced at her father. "Jenny was under Lillith's control. There was no way that you could have prevented what happened."
She flung herself onto him, crying into his shoulder. He helped her to her feet and guided her toward the door.
"Lock this place up." He told Ritsuko. "Fill it with bakelite and let's go. This place makes me sick."
Ritsuko nodded dumbly as he led Misa out of the room.
"Ikari-san?" asked the teacher. Takoru stood up.
"Ikari-san's parents informed me that she won't be coming to school for a while." He said for her. "A friend of hers died over the weekend, and she needs time to mourn."
The teacher nodded in sympathy, and moved on to the next student.
Takoru sat down. His story wasn't entirely true. Misato was using the time to push herself deeper and deeper into an abyss of guilt and depression. She had locked herself in her room and refused to see anyone.
What had happened underneath the fireball? He wondered. It had landed on her, but then it had passed through her. She looked shaken when she emerged, even before she registered Jenny's demise.
He looked up suddenly. His hand dropped the pen and his eyes widened. The first of Lillith's Chosen had perished without completing the mission. He closed his eyes in sympathy, then picked the pen up again. "Sorry about that." He said to the clerk.
"It's all right, Mr. Sudermann." The clerk replied. "The heat is getting to all of us these days."
Lillith's sixth chosen finished signing the form and stepped out into the crowds boarding the boat. Entering his room, he sat down and closed his eyes once again. Loosing the First Chosen was a shock, one that even all of Lillith's training had not prepared him for.
"Perhaps I should wait." He said to himself. "I can hide myself in Japan, and come out when I am ready. Yes, that seems a better course of action."
Unit 16 had reacted similarly when it felt Jenny's death, only its feelings were not of sadness but of satisfaction at the death of one of Lillith's accursed Chosen.
That made one less obstacle standing between it and Adam. But still it needed time. Adam was still too asleep to cause Fourth Impact the way Unit 16 desired, and Unit 16 knew of no way to wake it without affecting its scenario. Unit 16 would have to wait for Adam to awaken on its own.
"Misato-chan." Shinji called. "Please, I understand what you're going through. Remember, I went through it myself."
"Go away father. You killed a person who betrayed you. I killed a little girl."
"I killed one of the few people who loved me." he replied. "He was just as innocent as Jenny."
The doorbell rang and Asuka opened it. She grabbed Adamu's arm, hauled him inside and shoved him to Misato's door.
"You go in there and help her out." Asuka told him. "I don't know why, but she listens to you."
"Why can't your husband go in?" he asked, confused.
"Because your father survived." She responded, almost making it an accusation. "Misato believes that Shinji can't understand because he didn't really kill Kaoru."
"So why will she listen to me?" asked Adamu. "We've only known each other for two months."
"She'll listen to you because that's the way she is." Asuka informed him firmly. He knocked dubiously on Misato's door.
"Misa-chan? It's Adamu. Can I come in?"
She didn't respond. He took that as a good sign and tried the handle. The door was locked.
"Can you open it?" he asked. Her parents shook their heads. Shinji pointed to the lock.
"Asuka insisted that Misato have absolute privacy when she wanted." Asuka glared at her husband, but nodded.
Adamu nodded, then turned to the door and manifested his AT field in a long wrinkled spike. He jammed it into the keyhole and twisted. The door swung open, and he stepped inside.
She was sitting on her bed, curled up and crying into her knees. "Don't look at me." she told him. "I'm a monster."
"Ikari Misato Soryu." he said, his voice dripping with scorn. "So, this is where you've been hiding."
She turned to face him, confused. He shook his head. "I am very disappointed in you." he continued. "To think that a Soryu would break down and cry like a little baby because of something that wasn't her fault. Perhaps the so-called strength of the Soryu line is simply a front."
"That's not true!" she retorted. "There must have been something that I could do."
"Well then, it looks like the old Soryu intelligence must be the deception." He said mockingly. She stood up.
"Do not insult the Soryu line, or you will live to regret it." She told him.
"Then why couldn't you figure it out? Or maybe a Soryu wouldn't have the brains."
"I have the brains." She said in a deadly whisper. "If there was something, I could have found it."
"But you didn't." he reminded her. "And therefore there was nothing." She glared at him until his words sunk in past her guilt and anger. "There was nothing that you could have done."
"But-"
"Surely Soryu-san," he stressed the name, "if there was anything that could have been done to prevent it, you would have figured it out." He said firmly. She nodded, looking away.
He moved closer to her as she looked up again, and their eyes met. Adamu suddenly found himself unable to move as he stared into her eyes.
"Thank you." she said softly. He could only stare, entranced by her deep blue eyes that seemed to go on forever.
He snapped back to reality when she closed her eyes. She gave him a peck on the cheek, a chaste, innocent kiss. It was more than enough to make his mind black out.
She pulled back to find a stunned expression on his face. She smirked. "Now get out of my room before I label you a pervert." He got up, still stunned, and walked out.
He stopped when Asuka grabbed his shoulder. "Thank you, Adamu." She said to him, smiling. Then her expression grew more serious. "But if you ever do that again when I'm around, you'll really regret it. Misato's half Idiot," she jerked a thumb at her husband, who was going into Misato's room, "so she won't get offended as quickly, but I'm a full Soryu, and I will not take those kind of insults to my bloodline."
He nodded to her and continued out of the house. His sister was waiting for him.
"Good job." She said, forgoing the chance to remark on the lipstick stains on his cheek. "I knew that your jerkiness would be useful eventually."
AN: Whack! Layra-chan: When I said kill someone, I didn't mean kill a cute five-year- old girl with a balloon! DreyonLegacy: Sorry! I couldn't think of any other way to deal with her. She was a lot of trouble, and I needed to get rid of her. Believe me, if there was another way. Layra-chan: Hmph. Be glad that I am dependent on you for my nutrition, or you would be short one muse. DreyonLegacy: Once again, sorry for everyone who's upset. I'll try to make it up for you by making the next chapters more light-hearted, maybe so far as humorous. I do need to get back to the humor portion of the fic. And before you hopeless romantics say anything, I'd like to point out that Misato's eyes affected Touji and Misato Sr. the same way, not just Adamu. You'll find out why soon.