BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER!!!
Parody. Sakura is sent to "True Directions" to be re-orientated back to heterosexuality. The problem is, she wasn't gay to begin with. Neither was fellow "TD" victim, Li Syaoran.
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A Card Captor Sakura crossover with the hilarious movie "But I'm A Cheerleader." Neither the film nor CCS belong to me. I'm just playing in the sandpit, and I will return all buckets and spades once I'm done.
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STEP TWO: Rediscover your sexual identity
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"Rediscover our sexual identity," Ella fumed, scrubbing the floor in vertical up-and-down motions like Mary had repeatedly shown them. "Getting us to scrub her floor for free, more like."
Sakura looked up at the blonde from her position near the door. The pink rubber gloves and pink apron were a bit restrictive, but nothing in step two was really all that tough. They'd practised changing nappies, wearing make-up, sitting properly wearing a dress and now cleaning. Nothing too strenuous, like the boys were doing outside.
Chopping wood. After shrugging sympathetically at Ella, not wanting to get on anyone's bad sides even if she didn't agree with their point of view, Sakura turned back to her patch of floor and her nice view of the woodpile outside. Where Syaoran was sweating but in a very handsome way as he chopped wood. The other boys in the group were staring pointedly at Syaoran. Hands off, bitches, Sakura thought rebelliously, scrubbing furiously at the carpet in anger. He's mine.
Blinking, Sakura thought over what she'd just said. Mine? Sure, she'd known him the longest. But if he was here at True Directions, maybe he really was gay, and then Syaoran would only be hers after some major surgery that Sakura wasn't quite sure she'd be able to go through for him. Sure, she had that big crush on him. Still had. But that didn't mean he could even return the feelings!
Syaoran had moved away and Bonzo stepped up. He was quite attractive but not as cute or hot or mentally un-dress-able as Syaoran. Sakura stifled a giggle as the rather camp Hispanic boy grabbed the axe and flung it girlishly into the air, leaving the other boys to run for cover. Cole and Paul were gripping onto each other as if the world was ending.
Turning back to the carpet, she discovered she'd continue her furious scrubbing of the carpet, and Mary was looking down approvingly.
"Nice work, Sakura. Look, girls, Sakura's done this perfectly. You could all learn from her."
"I'd bet," Hoshi said, her voice a low mock-growl. Sakura's eyes widened in terror and Mary scowled at Hoshi.
"I will not suffer inappropriate behaviour any more, Wu," Mary threatened.
"Sorry, Ms. Brown." Hoshi mock-curtseyed.
"Apology accepted," Mary said stiffly, her gaze warming slightly when Hoshi performed the genuflection well. She pierced them all with a fixing glance. "Right, girls, time to wash your hands and go to dinner. And remember, we're sitting-"
"Boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl," Brenda and Dale chanted together, sharing an amused glance and giggle. Sakura saw a flicker of energy between them and felt a blush rise on her face. They'd look kind of cute together, I suppose, she reflected. If you go in for that kind of thing. She pulled the gloves off her hand, the rubber snapping and hurting her hand as she tried to do it quickly. Oh, jeez, I know I'm not gay, but maybe this place turns you gay... she thought dejectedly.
Hanging the apron on the appropriate hook, she filed out with the rest of the girls, washing her hands at the sink and feeling her stomach lurch beneath her. Syaoran's going to be there, she thought dizzily. Every day, for the last week, the same thought still produced the same thing. She walked expectantly into the dining room, feeling dizzy as he looked at her with a very friendly look and a smile. Fighting down the blush, she walked over and sat between Syaoran and Cole, grinning at him.
"How was your day?"
Syaoran shrugged. "Lots of fun stuff, really. Wood chopping, football, learnt how to fix a car and played paintball. Much more fun than school any day."
"Seems you had more fun than me. We did home economics all day, pretty much. I'm all for changing a baby when I have an actual baby, but those dolls are scary! I swear. They pee ink." Sakura pulled a face.
"So you want children?" Syaoran asked, putting his head to one side. "I think you'd make a wonderful mother."
Sakura couldn't stop the instant blush. "Th-th-thanks, Syaoran."
"God, if you two flirt any harder I'm going to throw up." That was from Cole, and Sakura and Syaoran stared at him with wide eyes and red cheeks.
"WE'RE NOT FLIRTING!" Sakura yelled, and then realised she'd yelled it at the same time as Syaoran.
"Someone protesteth too much," Cole murmured. "Honestly, you two. Kinda thick, aren't you?"
"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Sakura was pretty certain she was the only one who screamed that, as she stamped on his foot.
Cole winced. "SMEG! You've got one hard stomp and a half! Maybe you aren't really straight like some of us were beginning to suspect."
Sakura glowered. "My brother calls me a monster. I have practised my stomping on him. I'm not a monster!"
"Suuuuuure you're not."
That was from Syaoran, who was still looking rather pinkish.
Sakura balled her fist in warning.
Syaoran shut up abruptly.
"Come on, spill it," Ruth said from the other side of the table. "Where do you two know each other from?"
"School," Syaoran explained. "I was an exchange student from China, and was sent to Sakura's school."
"Yup," Sakura added. "And at first we didn't really get one. Syaoran was stiff and called me weak and pathetic."
"Did not!"
"Did too!"
"Did not!"
"You did too. Remember with the- y'know- and everything."
Syaoran looked at her blankly. "The what and everything."
Sakura folded her arms. "The you know whats."
"The I know ohhhhhhh.... The I-know-whats," Syaoran said, realising she meant the cards. "God, I was the monster back then."
"Don't I know it," Sakura said primly. "And then we sort of... became friends, I guess."
"More than friends," Syaoran said, eliciting a few suggestive whistles and nudges. "Noooo, you perverts-"
"You talkin' to me?" Paul joked as he interrupted.
"Ha, ha," Syaoran continued. "No, we- I guess we were sort of co-workers." He shrugged at Sakura.
"Then I got this big huge raging crush on him then, and he buggered off to China and never wrote or anything," Sakura finished, shrugging back. "No big deal."
CRASH!!!!
Syaoran's eyes had bugged out and he'd fallen off his chair.
"Graceful, Li," Shinji said, reaching over and hi-fiving Sam.
"He's the boy you had a crush on?" Ruth said disbelievingly as Syaoran made it back onto his chair, red-faced. "The boy you're not sexually attracted to?"
CRASH!!!!
Syaoran had fallen off again.
"You assumed that 'cause I'm a homosexual," Sakura protested, the words feeling silly. Her cheeks were red hot and she couldn't believe what she'd said. To be honest, it was the feeling in her stomach that had driven her to the edge. One more day around Syaoran and she'd have... Well, she wasn't quite sure whether she would have jumped on, kissed or killed him. All three had their attractions.
"Children," Mary breathed as she came into the room followed by the cook and a tray-on-wheels with their dinners on. "What were those awful crashes?"
"Sakura grabbed Syaoran's crotch and he fell off in surprise," Bonzo lied glibly. Mary turned in astonishment to the very-red pair.
"Syaoran, you should be more graceful. Sakura, I'm glad this program is working well for you," Mary said. "But please leave any future heterosexual groping to more appropriate places."
Syaoran and Sakura flushed an even deeper crimson.
Dinner commenced with only idle chatter, small talk and the like, as the sound of cutlery clattering and crunches filled the air. Sakura ate the meat with some relish, as Kero had disallowed her meat after reading an article on the benefits of vegetarianism. God, she'd missed it. After finishing her meal, she took her orange juice and held onto the glass with both hands. Glancing up quickly, she caught Hoshi's glance. The small Korean tipped another wink at her. Pulling a face, Sakura concentrated fiercely on her juice and didn't look up. Consequently, she missed the end, everyone else milling off to rest for half an hour or call home before evening activities. A small squeak escaping her throat, she jumped off the chair and headed for the door outside to get some fresh air to cool her heated cheeks.
As she put her hand out to the cool metal of the handle, a hand suddenly snapped around her wrist. She turned, startled, to meet amber eyes, glaring fiercely at her. Sakura's mouth suddenly went dry, and it was all she could to stay stood up.
"Did you mean it?" His voice was forced and his skin was white, pale as driven snow as the cliché said, taut and unnerved. "What you said?"
Sakura opened her mouth and then closed it, unable to form the words. Dismayed, she hung her head, feeling pressure well up behind her eyes. Gods, don't let me cry now... she pleaded, but her plea remained unanswered. She nodded as tears started to streak down her cheek. "Don't be mad," Sakura said breathlessly. "I'm desperately hoping you don't hate me as it is, let alone contending with the whole gay thing and the no letters thing and-"
"I don't hate you." Syaoran's voice was smooth, and he moved his hand from her wrist to light under her jaw like a bird, soft and tender. "I'm not gay. And I wasn't allowed to write to you because Mother thought I was too close to the Card Mistress. Too close to the girl who humiliated the legacy of our family."
"Then you do hate me," Sakura managed to scrape out despite her tears.
Syaoran shook his head fiercely, messing his chocolate-brown hair up even further as he did so. "No," he said roughly, so firmly that it made Sakura blink. Her vision cleared slightly. His eyes were on hers, large and concerned, so beautiful it made her heart ache. They were bigger than she remembered before he left, she thought vaguely, until she realised they weren't. He was coming closer. She could feel his breath on her own skin, ghosting like the touch of an imaginary lover, the heat tantalizing her, making her skin cry out for more, for contact, for his hands, his lips, anything.
His hand was still on her chin, forceful, his fingers feeling cold on her hot face. His face inched inexorably closer, and Sakura felt her burning eyes flitter closed, her breath mingling with his in the small space between them. The pain was exquisite as they hung suspended in the moment.
"I have a crush on you too," Syaoran whispered, his lips so close to Sakura's that they brushed hers oh so slightly as he talked. She couldn't feel the pressure on her chin any more, and she kept her eyes closed shut for a long second, letting her skin recall the sensations. She could still feel his lips moving in the whisper, flickering so barely against hers that it was torture.
But when she opened her eyes, he had gone.
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Coming next... STEP THREE.
Why did Syaoran leave?
Will we ever find out who put him in True Directions?
Will Sakura be able to lie to her father and say she is a homosexual??
And will those two EVER KISS?????
Find out next time, in BUT I'M A CHEERLEADER!!!