Disclaimer: Neon Genesis Evangelion belongs to other people.
Fourth Impact
Chapter 33: Yumana
Misato looked around. Adamu should have been here quite a while ago. She had left a message for him telling him to meet her, but apparently he had missed it.
She got up and began to walk away when her phone rang. She picked up. "Hello?"
"Moshi moshi." Said Lilliko. "Sorry, but this isn't a good day for Adamu to see you."
"Why is that? Did something happen?" Asked Misato.
"It's a special day for our family. He can see you tomorrow, but not today."
"Why—" Lilliko hung up. Misato stared at her phone for a while, then ran off toward the Nagisa's house.
She arrived to see Adamu sitting on the roof outside his window, a guitar in his lap, looking like he was about to burst into tears. As she stood staring, notes drifted down, a complex weave that she recognized as one of the hardest pieces to play on a guitar. Why was he sitting on the roof, looking so sad, and playing that piece?
She climbed up to him and sat down beside him. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice her.
"What's wrong?" she asked him. He glanced over at her, tears in his eyes.
"I don't want to talk." He said gruffly, still playing. "I'm fine."
Her eyes narrowed. "That's not true." She glared at him. "I want to know what's wrong, Adamu. I only want to help you."
"Why do you care?" he suddenly flared. She fell back at his outburst.
"I'm your girlfriend." She reminded him. He scoffed, choking a bit.
"Don't tell me that you take that so seriously." He said harshly, not once pausing in his playing. Harsh not from anger, she could tell, but from sadness.
"Well, even so, I care about you, Adamu." She told him, trying to sound as gentle as she could. "I'm your friend at least. I'm not going to leave until you tell me what is wrong."
"I don't want to talk." He said, his voice choked with grief.
Her resolve hardened. He was hurting himself, and without reason. No matter if he told her or not, his pain was still very real, and perhaps reducible. "You don't need to talk." She grabbed his head and forced him to look into her eyes. He gasped as their eyes locked, his playing faltering, then stopping. She had that effect on everyone, but only she knew why.
A spark seemed to pass between them. Then Adamu froze completely as she opened his mind and dove in.
Images, sounds, feelings that she couldn't place. She wandered the chaos that was Adamu's thoughts until she came across an image so enshrouded in grief that she couldn't ignore it.
She found an image of a baby girl with bright red eyes and a few locks of silvery-blue hair. The baby squirmed, giggling in a pair of juvenile arms. Feelings of warmth, joy surrounded the image.
The image suddenly changed to one of the same baby, a few months older. The baby was twisting and crying in pain. The feeling of warmth was quickly replaced by fear and grief and pain.
Misato pushed a bit further until she found herself staring at a name.
YUMANAAdamu fell back as Misato let go of him. He was openly crying now, his head in his hands and the guitar forgotten. Misato pulled him into her arms and let him weep into her shoulder. "I'm sorry, Adamu. I didn't know."
"I would have had to tell someone eventually." He replied. "Just…thank you for caring."
"Any time." She told him. "I know I shouldn't have dug into you like that…I of all people should know better…"
"No, it's a good thing." He said softly. "I was blocking the memories of all the good times I had with her. I could only remember her death."
"What happened? I mean, why did that happen?" she asked, not quite expecting an answer.
"Yuma-chan…" Adamu sighed. He pulled out of her embrace and sat back against the side of the house, picking up his guitar and starting to play again.
"Yumana-chan…taken from Humanis, the Eighteenth Angel. She was supposed to be a merging of my father and mother, a perfect melding except for gender." He smiled. "She was so beautiful, so pure…"
Adamu picked up his baby sister and placed her in his lap. She giggled and tugged at his shirt, nuzzling it. Her eyes lit up as the radio began to play that song that she loved so much.
Adamu smiled and watched as Yumana let herself be lulled to sleep by the flowing guitar. He silently vowed to someday learn how to play that just for her.
Lilliko sat down next to him, leaning her head on his shoulder and shifting Yumana into her own lap. No words were exchanged as the twins watched their sister drift off to sleep, an innocent smile on her small face.
"…but her destiny said otherwise." He sighed, the tears returning. "There's a reason that Lilli-chan and I are such perfect replicas of our parents, with no mixing. We found that out the hard way…"
"Yuma-chan!" Adamu knelt by his wailing sister and stared as she began to glow. Lilliko appeared beside him and tried to pick her up, but she was kicked aside. Rei and Kaoru knelt by the other side of the cradle, watching in fear and dismay.
The stench of death filled the room. Adamu and Lilliko fell back as Yumana's glowing body began to bleed all over, red blood mixed with orange and black. The stench got stronger, as did the glow.
Suddenly, the cradle was empty. Rei collapsed into Kaoru's arms, unable to hold back her tears. Lilliko curled into herself, also crying. But Adamu merely stared at the drops of blood that had once been his sister.
"…The parts of her that were from Adam and the parts that were from Lillith destroyed each other. Her AT field dissolved, killing her." He began to weep again. "Lilli-chan and I were lucky. We were uneven enough that one side took total dominance over the other. But Yuma-chan was too finely balanced. There was no dominant side, so eight years ago today, after only ten months of life, she died."
He wiped away the last few tears. "Go inside. It's getting dark. I want to be alone for a while." She climbed into Adamu's room. She found Lilliko sitting in Takoru's lap in the lounge, weeping softly. She looked up to see Misato.
"Misa-chan…"
"I'm sorry." Misato said quietly, sitting down. "Now I understand a lot more."
Lilliko pulled away from Takoru slightly. "I take it that you just talked to Adamu-chan." Misato nodded sadly. "He was hit worse than the rest of us. He really loved Yuma-chan." She smiled wanly. "He used to be like Takoru-chan here." Her boyfriend blinked. "He used to be such a carefree little boy. But Yuma-chan's death changed that. He ran away for a day, and when he returned he was changed.
"He was cold and insensitive, so that no one would get close enough to hurt him again. I'm really surprised that he even told you what happened." Misato looked away, suddenly feeling very guilty. She didn't say how she found out. "That's the same reason I get so upset at the thought of being alone." Lilliko admitted.
"I just have this fear of everyone leaving me…That's why I'm so glad that I found Takoru-chan." Takoru pulled her deeper into his arms. "Mother and father recovered, mostly, but Adamu and I were just too young, I guess."
Misato nodded, looking up as Adamu came in still holding his guitar. She guided him over to the couch opposite Takoru and Lilliko and sat him down. She placed his guitar in his lap and placed her head on his shoulder.
He looked over at her, startled. "Just play." She told him. "Yumana-chan would have wanted you to be happy, so let your tears out now and be happy tomorrow. Just play."
He nodded and began to play, tears silently falling. After a few moments, Lilliko began to sing, her voice weaving with that of the guitar, just as they had planned eight years before.
…But even if life is cruel to us
You don't have to hurt yourself
To make it easier for me.
I understand what you are going through,
And I love you just the same…
As the song wound down, Adamu noticed that Misato had fallen asleep against his shoulder. Lilliko and Takoru bid him goodnight, going up to the room they shared. He sat beside Misato, wondering if he should wake her or not. She looked so peaceful and content sleeping, though. Perhaps…no. Maybe some other day he would tell her. Not today.
He placed his guitar on the floor and carried her up to his room. A moment of indecision, followed by a long minute and a half of thought, led him to place her on his bed. He grabbed a spare mattress from the closet and settled down, taking off his shirt and watching her out of the corner of his eye. He fell asleep gazing at her smile, so like that of a girl whom he'd loved…
For all of you who lost someone.