A/N: Hi you guys! Back and better than ever! (Umm........whatever that
means.) Hey I just wanna say thanks for all the kind
reviews/proddings/praises for this story. I must warn you, it would be
quite angsty from now on, I don't "how much angst", but more than usual. I
don't know if people will like it or not (hopefully y'all like
it...crossing fingers), but all that previous chapters was just leading up
to this big "bang" of our couple's feelings for each other. So basically El
Cazador was a catalyst Sorry Huntley, you should know you were being used
for their relationship to take a sharp turn around the bend. (The show was
taking too long to do it, it's like having a snail guiding you on a
journey, vvvvveeeerrrrrryyyy slow.)
|Also Vera in this chapter is slightly out of character. I just think she's more than a ditzy girl like she portrayed. I think she does understand the type of relationship she and Grisham are having. Not very ethical and I highly doubt it's romantic. At least in Tolstoy's Anna, she has good reason to have feelings for another man, but even she denied it at first. Anyhoo, going off topic here, sorry about that. Enjoy!|
"Interlude: Confused Emotions"
Grisham's limbs ached all over. Besides the throbbing incessant pain was the shocking white light that invaded his whole vision. He wasn't sure if his eyes were open or not, because it didn't seem to make any difference to the light was doing to his sensitive sight. An overwhelming sense of fear that he was blind pushed him to the verge of panic, save for the gentle voice that was calling to him in the distance. Tessa's lovely face appeared faintly in the white surrounding; her large chocolate eyes stared into him. Her dark pupils reflected his own face, beckoning to him. Longing and desire replace his fear, and he reached out with his hand to touch her, but she disappeared before he could even call out her name. Then her presence was gone. She was taken from him..................again.
"No....." Tessa's loud gasp broke the dark silence of the bedroom. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself. It was the same dream every night.
She was on the cliffs like last time, except she was standing before the captain. Grisham was leaning weakly on his knees. Agony contorted his handsome features. The dark red liquid seeped out from his wound, from the same place where she was injured.
The unbearable pain in her side and heart seemed to exist all at once. It took over her body in an instant. Her limbs ached all over, besides the persistent throbbing pain there was a bright light that rendered her blind. She desperately wanted to end the hurting. She knew what she had to do. Seizing her sword, she closed her eyes and stabbed the man before her. As her eyes opened she could see there was confusion in his. But at the same time, he seemed to accept the fate that had endowed upon him.
"Tessa."
The reverberating sound of his voice had woken her every night for the past week.
Sleep always evaded her afterwards and Tessa would wander around the house until she was too tired to move. Taking her place on the window seat in the parlor, she would drift in and out of slumber until the red flush of morning appeared slowly to replace the murky night.
It was like this that Marta found her mumbling in her sleep.
"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry." Her words were not surprising to Marta's ears. She heard it constantly whenever Tessa thought that no one was in the room. It pained her to see her change like this ever since that day with the battle against The Hunter. Tessa was never quite the same since.
It had been days and Marta was at all times away at the pueblo to help the farmers and their families console their losses. Many lives were gone and many more were feeling the atrocious aftermath of The Hunter's invasion.
Tessa, the Queen of Swords, and every part of her, reflected the despair the townspeople were feeling.
"Child, wake up. Tessa? Come on, rise and shine."
"Don't want to shine." Tessa grumbled as she tried in vain to swipe away Marta's hands.
"Well then rise!" Marta's voice shook Tessa out of her reverie. Her tired eyes opened to meet Marta's worried ones.
"Why don't you come shopping with me today? At the rate you've been eating lately we need to buy food just once a month and be done with."
"Marta. I'm sorry, but I don't feel like going to the pueblo today."
"Because you don't want to be reminded that somehow you feel responsible for Grisham's death?"
Tessa looked up sharply at the stab of truth that Marta had taken.
Dejectedly, she nodded.
"Tessa, the pueblo needs a ray of light like you to brighten up their lives. Don't you want to see Juanita?"
Remembering Jose's little girl, Tessa's face brightened in anticipation. Marta could see a hint of the young Tessa that she remembered fondly back in Spain, before the weight of responsibilities of the Queen of Swords weighed the young woman down.
"Oh alright I'm going!" She huffed unconvincingly.
Marta was right.
The shopkeepers and farmers were surprised by Tessa's visit. She was the only noblewoman that dared to cross into the threshold of desolation in the center of town.
The Don's and rancheros were nowhere to be seen since El Cazador's imprisonment in the town jail by the cavalry. They retreated back into their lavish homes guarded by tall metal gates or simply escaped to their summer homes far away from Santa Helena. The rest of the jobs were to be in the care of their hired hands.
Making small conversations, Tessa was shocked to find that Montoya was on hiatus. The captain of the San Jose Calvary was in charge of running the pueblo and restoring the peace. The remains of Montoya's army were taken to be retrained under the guidance of the cavalry.
Unfortunately, in a few weeks, the colonel would be shiny and new again, to preside over the little town he considered his.
Tessa didn't have to wait long to meet the new guy in town.
Captain Michael Gaston of the San Jose cavalry was very serious in his line of job. First in the class. Military top honors, although he had never seen a battlefield.
He had become a captain at a younger age than most of the men in his league.
None of his training had prepared him for the scene he had witnessed a few days ago.
When he arrived days after Montoya informed the headquarters of the invasion led by El Cazador, Gaston was appalled at the massacre of Santa Helena's people.
More importantly he was angry at the incompetence of Montoya's soldiers to guard the town's perimeters and allow a man wanted in five states to get away with murdering so many people.
The day Tessa went into town, he was just finishing instructing the soldiers on proper knife care. Some soldiers even wished they could have their own arrogant captain back to teach them hand-to-hand combat instead of this long tedious lecture.
"Hello, Senorita, you must be the daughter of Don Alvarado."
Tessa had seen the captain earlier, but was not too forward in meeting him. She had more pressing matters on her mind. Now she had to make do with her charms and try to coax out information from him.
"Buenos dias, captain. I hope I am not intruding on your training."
"Oh no! I was just finished with them. Montoya's soldiers are in a sorrier shape than I thought an army could get. I don't know where in the world he recruited those men."
*You have no idea.* Tessa remembered all the times she got away due to their fumbling for their weapons whenever the Queen was in their presence.
"Anyways, what brought you here to the neck of the gloom?"
"I am here for moral support and to ease their suffering as much as I can. It's all I can do to help. Santa Helena needs rebuilding. Its people and the town itself." Tessa's disclosure of her intentions back in town was a surprise for Gaston. He had never met a woman like her before. Full of grace and compassion, she shone brightly amidst the darkness that had descended upon the pueblo.
"I am glad that someone like you would care enough for them. I am only going to be here until the captain gets better."
Tessa's eyes were as wide as saucers. Confusion and shock enveloped her; in the back of her mind she was wondering if Grisham could still be........
"Senorita Alvarado?"
She returned from her rambling thoughts to address the captain's question with one of her own.
"Captain Grisham, is.....he........ still alive?" Tessa couldn't keep her voice from trembling.
Letting out a small chuckle, Gaston replied, "What do you mean if he's still alive? Of course, he is. Looks like he's been through hell, but on the road to recovery. Although I wish he didn't have to endure so much. Those bandidos did quite a number on him."
Tessa wasn't sure if she was overjoyed to know that her captain was alive or fearful that she must face the ugly injuries that he suffered.
Trying to keep her face composed she said a quick goodbye to Captain Gaston before hurrying off toward Grisham's bungalow.
Her heart rose up to her throat in anticipation of seeing Grisham.
Her mind was racing with things she would say to him and probably shouldn't say. Tessa didn't stop in time as Dr. Helm stepped off the porch.
"Watch where you're going, Senorita! Innocent people might get hurt. Innocent people like me." His voice full of annoyance at Tessa's sudden appearance.
"I'm sorry, Dr. Helm! I was just in a hurry....to....uh......" Tessa realized that she couldn't make up any plausible reason to her wanting to see Grisham. What would people say if they saw a noblewoman such as herself associate with a man like Grisham?
Dr. Helm, on the other hand, came to his own conclusion.
"Curious to see what the wounded look like? Rubbernecking your way around town? You know most of the Dons and the nobles have left Santa Helena. I don't know why you're still hanging around."
Tessa was seething with anger. Dr. Helm had no idea how much pain she herself went through in the past few days. Now he was accusing her of loitering about town.
Plastering on a cheery smile, she apologized for her rudeness. In an offhanded way, she inquired about Grisham's state of recuperation.
"If you must know, he's doing pretty well. His body will heal itself in a few days. I gave him a shot of morphine to soothe his pain, but he will be in and out of consciousness for a while."
Tessa's worries washed away in relief. She couldn't help it, but her bright smile had gotten bigger.
"Well, at least someone is happy in this town. I can't say for the rest of us. If you'll excuse me, Senorita, but I do have patients to see and you're delaying my schedule."
"Goodbye, Dr. Helm. I will see you tomorrow."
Dr. Helm let out a groan at the fact that the senorita would come and bother him again. Tessa didn't hear him, as she had already entered Grisham's room.
*"I've got you now!/Miss me?/I'm your only ally......I won't. I promise."*
Grisham's voice came back to her in memories of the times she had spent with him.
It never mattered if Tessa was wearing the mask of her cheery self or the avenging queen, Grisham gave her the same teasing eyes he always has on, the look of grudging respect for her, and all the sexual innuendos he seemed to have endless supplies of. Oh, how she wished Grisham was well. She would even let him make crude remarks at her expense.
A sense of foreboding entered her heart. It was not without cause. The sight of Grisham's perfectly still body made her heart twist inside.
The lack of clothes Grisham had on gave her a clear view of the damage that was inflicted upon him.
Large patches of swollen skin appeared on his chest and various areas on his arms and face. Bandages covered his head as well as a majority of his torso.
Grisham suffered a concussion from being knocked unconscious and adding to the list was the broken ribs of stinging pain into his insides. There was blood seeping through the bandage from his unhealed knife lesion in the abdomen.
As soon as Tessa saw the bleeding wound, she reflexively felt for the scar of her own injury. She shuddered at the agony Grisham must be suffering in his sleep.
Tessa wanted to run outside and forget what she had saw, but she couldn't urge her body to take another step back. Instead she took another step forward and another until she reached his bedside table. Sitting down quietly on the chair next to the bed, Tessa gazed worriedly at the bedridden captain.
At a closer look, the injuries magnified to an incredible degree. Silent tears trailed down her cheeks. Trying to gather her composure, Tessa impulsively reached down to hold his hand in hers.
It was large and rough, but cool and soft, too.
In fact, his hand was too cold.
Rubbing his hand to release her own warmth into his, Tessa inadvertently woke him up.
Grisham, somewhere in his deep sleep, felt Tessa's presence returned to him again. This time, however, warmth started to trickle into his legs and up his thighs, a current now..............flowing upstream to reach his aching heart.
A content sigh escaped from his mouth.
Slowly, but eagerly Grisham opened his eyes to meet the person who made him feel this safe and warm in a long time.
Tessa started at the sight of Grisham's blue orbs meeting hers. She had not expected him to wake up so soon.
She was about to whisper a greeting when his eyes took on a smoldering look.
He stared past her irises and into her heart.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, honey is sweet, but not as sweet as you."
As quickly as he had started, the familiar childhood rhyme was over and the last word was left hanging in the air.
".........you."
Tessa started to blush uncontrollably. She felt the heat start to rise in the small of her back until it reached the apples of her cheeks. A blooming red colored her entire face. Her heartbeat had increased in mere seconds and her breathing had become shallow as she tried to remain calm.
She knew that it wasn't just an innocent rhyme, especially not when it came from Grisham himself. The look of blatant desire radiated from his eyes and body to her unsuspecting mind. She was in need of a serious cold bath. A dive into the ocean waves would be more like it.
The captain, seeming satisfied at her reaction, drifted off, mumbling incoherently in his sleep.
"The morphine, it must be the drug, or else he wouldn't have said such a thing." Tessa gasped out in a hurry, trying to rationalize what had just happened between them.
"Goodbye, my queen."
The words were barely audible, just part of a string of words linked together in one disjointed babble after the other. Nevertheless, Tessa caught it. A look of terror crossed her face.
*Oh God! He couldn't know. He probably just meant "a queen and not "the Queen." Not me. Right?!*
A sudden need to leave the small room took over.
Gathering her long skirt, she hurried out the door while taking a backward glance at the now sleeping soldier.
She didn't see the woman appear in the doorway.
"Oh, Lord!"
"Ow!"
"Tessa!"
"Vera?!"
"What are you doing here?!" Vera was slightly surprised at Tessa's appearance in the captain's own room.
Even though she would never confront Grisham about it, Vera was a little jealous that Tessa had always infatuated Grisham. Grisham would never reveal it, of course. But Vera could see the way he looked at the raven beauty. A hint of unrequited passion burned inside him; Vera would notice the way his manners changed in the slightest way whenever Tessa was around. It annoyed her to no end.
Yet, Vera knew, she couldn't return Grisham's feelings, whatever they may be. She had her own husband, a very loving husband, nonetheless. She had to get on with her life. There was still the understandable unwillingness to let go of such a wickedly handsome bad boy, but deeply sensitive man with the heart of a poet.
That was a secret that no one knew. Grisham didn't even know that she knew.
Coughing nervously, Tessa tried in vain to get out of this embarrassing situation. At least Dr. Helm was presumptuous enough to come up with an excuse for her, but Vera is still looking at her quizzically.
For once, Tessa was quite at loss for words.
"I....well...uhh....you see..."
"He cries for you in his sleep," Vera continued. "Whenever he thinks I don't notice, I hear him whispering your name in his slumber."
"What?!" Looking into Vera's formidable eyes, Tessa was stunned at the obvious truth.
"He.......I think Marcus has fallen for you. You don't know it. Probably never will. But I want you to know. There's something there, Tessa. You're special to him."
"I don't know what you're......." Tessa was incredulous. Grisham cried for her in his sleep? Captain Marcus Grisham? One of the Queen of Sword's top three enemies? Captain Marcus Grisham of Montoya's army has feelings for her? She would never believe it, not in a million years. Then again, she couldn't tell what her own feelings were. Everything was confused and twisted inside, giving her a dizzy sensation.
"Yes, you do," Vera bluntly cut her off. Vera couldn't understand why Tessa wasn't happy with this new discovery. Vera would be overjoyed to have a man like Grisham to love her. While she was married herself, bonded to another man, Tessa was a free bird. Tessa could make any choice she wants. It was that simple.
"It's not that simple......" Tessa started to say, but couldn't as she lost her train of thought.
"Why?" Vera's question was so easy and so complicated to answer at the same time.
"Huh?"
"I think I know. Tessa, you're afraid to be committed. You don't like to be tied down with a man. You're too......shall we say...independent. You're just like him. He hates being tied down too. Peas in a pod, you two are."
"I don't think now's a time to be humorous." Tessa was irritated at Vera's rolling along the idea of her and the captain having any similarities in character.
"I am not. You're simply afraid of the truth."
Taking out a piece of white cloth from her pouch, Vera cradled it to her chest.
"He once told me that the love of his life would have this. He gave it to me out of proving his worthiness for my affections. I know that in his heart I am not that special person. But I think you should keep it. He would've done the same sooner or later."
Vera pressed the soft, worn cloth into Tessa's unfeeling hands.
It was the long handkerchief that had been used as the Queen's temporary bandage. The same one that had saved Tessa's life. A trace of rose water mixed with something intangibly masculine wafted towards Tessa's delicate nose.
"He needs you, Tessa. He needs a woman like you. I thought I could give him what he wants. I thought it was just physical attraction that could keep Marcus content, but he wants something more. I don't have it. I can't afford to give it to him. He needs a loving touch that you have. You'll be better at taking care of him than I ever will. I wish you the best, my friend. Good luck."
The sound of swaying skirts marked Vera's exit.
Numb.
That's how exactly Tessa felt.
A wave of one emotion mixed with a slice of another mixed with a cloud of another mixed with a tingling of another into one big mess of nothingness.
She had to get out of the room soon. One emotion upheaval after another was too much for one confused woman in one day. Tessa dazedly walked out into the fading afternoon light. ___________________________________________________________________________ __________
See? I won't let our dear captain die! I would rather swallow a bug than let Dr. Helm get his paws on Tessa. Toodle lo! Look for the next chapter soon!
|Also Vera in this chapter is slightly out of character. I just think she's more than a ditzy girl like she portrayed. I think she does understand the type of relationship she and Grisham are having. Not very ethical and I highly doubt it's romantic. At least in Tolstoy's Anna, she has good reason to have feelings for another man, but even she denied it at first. Anyhoo, going off topic here, sorry about that. Enjoy!|
"Interlude: Confused Emotions"
Grisham's limbs ached all over. Besides the throbbing incessant pain was the shocking white light that invaded his whole vision. He wasn't sure if his eyes were open or not, because it didn't seem to make any difference to the light was doing to his sensitive sight. An overwhelming sense of fear that he was blind pushed him to the verge of panic, save for the gentle voice that was calling to him in the distance. Tessa's lovely face appeared faintly in the white surrounding; her large chocolate eyes stared into him. Her dark pupils reflected his own face, beckoning to him. Longing and desire replace his fear, and he reached out with his hand to touch her, but she disappeared before he could even call out her name. Then her presence was gone. She was taken from him..................again.
"No....." Tessa's loud gasp broke the dark silence of the bedroom. Taking a deep breath, she composed herself. It was the same dream every night.
She was on the cliffs like last time, except she was standing before the captain. Grisham was leaning weakly on his knees. Agony contorted his handsome features. The dark red liquid seeped out from his wound, from the same place where she was injured.
The unbearable pain in her side and heart seemed to exist all at once. It took over her body in an instant. Her limbs ached all over, besides the persistent throbbing pain there was a bright light that rendered her blind. She desperately wanted to end the hurting. She knew what she had to do. Seizing her sword, she closed her eyes and stabbed the man before her. As her eyes opened she could see there was confusion in his. But at the same time, he seemed to accept the fate that had endowed upon him.
"Tessa."
The reverberating sound of his voice had woken her every night for the past week.
Sleep always evaded her afterwards and Tessa would wander around the house until she was too tired to move. Taking her place on the window seat in the parlor, she would drift in and out of slumber until the red flush of morning appeared slowly to replace the murky night.
It was like this that Marta found her mumbling in her sleep.
"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. I'm so sorry." Her words were not surprising to Marta's ears. She heard it constantly whenever Tessa thought that no one was in the room. It pained her to see her change like this ever since that day with the battle against The Hunter. Tessa was never quite the same since.
It had been days and Marta was at all times away at the pueblo to help the farmers and their families console their losses. Many lives were gone and many more were feeling the atrocious aftermath of The Hunter's invasion.
Tessa, the Queen of Swords, and every part of her, reflected the despair the townspeople were feeling.
"Child, wake up. Tessa? Come on, rise and shine."
"Don't want to shine." Tessa grumbled as she tried in vain to swipe away Marta's hands.
"Well then rise!" Marta's voice shook Tessa out of her reverie. Her tired eyes opened to meet Marta's worried ones.
"Why don't you come shopping with me today? At the rate you've been eating lately we need to buy food just once a month and be done with."
"Marta. I'm sorry, but I don't feel like going to the pueblo today."
"Because you don't want to be reminded that somehow you feel responsible for Grisham's death?"
Tessa looked up sharply at the stab of truth that Marta had taken.
Dejectedly, she nodded.
"Tessa, the pueblo needs a ray of light like you to brighten up their lives. Don't you want to see Juanita?"
Remembering Jose's little girl, Tessa's face brightened in anticipation. Marta could see a hint of the young Tessa that she remembered fondly back in Spain, before the weight of responsibilities of the Queen of Swords weighed the young woman down.
"Oh alright I'm going!" She huffed unconvincingly.
Marta was right.
The shopkeepers and farmers were surprised by Tessa's visit. She was the only noblewoman that dared to cross into the threshold of desolation in the center of town.
The Don's and rancheros were nowhere to be seen since El Cazador's imprisonment in the town jail by the cavalry. They retreated back into their lavish homes guarded by tall metal gates or simply escaped to their summer homes far away from Santa Helena. The rest of the jobs were to be in the care of their hired hands.
Making small conversations, Tessa was shocked to find that Montoya was on hiatus. The captain of the San Jose Calvary was in charge of running the pueblo and restoring the peace. The remains of Montoya's army were taken to be retrained under the guidance of the cavalry.
Unfortunately, in a few weeks, the colonel would be shiny and new again, to preside over the little town he considered his.
Tessa didn't have to wait long to meet the new guy in town.
Captain Michael Gaston of the San Jose cavalry was very serious in his line of job. First in the class. Military top honors, although he had never seen a battlefield.
He had become a captain at a younger age than most of the men in his league.
None of his training had prepared him for the scene he had witnessed a few days ago.
When he arrived days after Montoya informed the headquarters of the invasion led by El Cazador, Gaston was appalled at the massacre of Santa Helena's people.
More importantly he was angry at the incompetence of Montoya's soldiers to guard the town's perimeters and allow a man wanted in five states to get away with murdering so many people.
The day Tessa went into town, he was just finishing instructing the soldiers on proper knife care. Some soldiers even wished they could have their own arrogant captain back to teach them hand-to-hand combat instead of this long tedious lecture.
"Hello, Senorita, you must be the daughter of Don Alvarado."
Tessa had seen the captain earlier, but was not too forward in meeting him. She had more pressing matters on her mind. Now she had to make do with her charms and try to coax out information from him.
"Buenos dias, captain. I hope I am not intruding on your training."
"Oh no! I was just finished with them. Montoya's soldiers are in a sorrier shape than I thought an army could get. I don't know where in the world he recruited those men."
*You have no idea.* Tessa remembered all the times she got away due to their fumbling for their weapons whenever the Queen was in their presence.
"Anyways, what brought you here to the neck of the gloom?"
"I am here for moral support and to ease their suffering as much as I can. It's all I can do to help. Santa Helena needs rebuilding. Its people and the town itself." Tessa's disclosure of her intentions back in town was a surprise for Gaston. He had never met a woman like her before. Full of grace and compassion, she shone brightly amidst the darkness that had descended upon the pueblo.
"I am glad that someone like you would care enough for them. I am only going to be here until the captain gets better."
Tessa's eyes were as wide as saucers. Confusion and shock enveloped her; in the back of her mind she was wondering if Grisham could still be........
"Senorita Alvarado?"
She returned from her rambling thoughts to address the captain's question with one of her own.
"Captain Grisham, is.....he........ still alive?" Tessa couldn't keep her voice from trembling.
Letting out a small chuckle, Gaston replied, "What do you mean if he's still alive? Of course, he is. Looks like he's been through hell, but on the road to recovery. Although I wish he didn't have to endure so much. Those bandidos did quite a number on him."
Tessa wasn't sure if she was overjoyed to know that her captain was alive or fearful that she must face the ugly injuries that he suffered.
Trying to keep her face composed she said a quick goodbye to Captain Gaston before hurrying off toward Grisham's bungalow.
Her heart rose up to her throat in anticipation of seeing Grisham.
Her mind was racing with things she would say to him and probably shouldn't say. Tessa didn't stop in time as Dr. Helm stepped off the porch.
"Watch where you're going, Senorita! Innocent people might get hurt. Innocent people like me." His voice full of annoyance at Tessa's sudden appearance.
"I'm sorry, Dr. Helm! I was just in a hurry....to....uh......" Tessa realized that she couldn't make up any plausible reason to her wanting to see Grisham. What would people say if they saw a noblewoman such as herself associate with a man like Grisham?
Dr. Helm, on the other hand, came to his own conclusion.
"Curious to see what the wounded look like? Rubbernecking your way around town? You know most of the Dons and the nobles have left Santa Helena. I don't know why you're still hanging around."
Tessa was seething with anger. Dr. Helm had no idea how much pain she herself went through in the past few days. Now he was accusing her of loitering about town.
Plastering on a cheery smile, she apologized for her rudeness. In an offhanded way, she inquired about Grisham's state of recuperation.
"If you must know, he's doing pretty well. His body will heal itself in a few days. I gave him a shot of morphine to soothe his pain, but he will be in and out of consciousness for a while."
Tessa's worries washed away in relief. She couldn't help it, but her bright smile had gotten bigger.
"Well, at least someone is happy in this town. I can't say for the rest of us. If you'll excuse me, Senorita, but I do have patients to see and you're delaying my schedule."
"Goodbye, Dr. Helm. I will see you tomorrow."
Dr. Helm let out a groan at the fact that the senorita would come and bother him again. Tessa didn't hear him, as she had already entered Grisham's room.
*"I've got you now!/Miss me?/I'm your only ally......I won't. I promise."*
Grisham's voice came back to her in memories of the times she had spent with him.
It never mattered if Tessa was wearing the mask of her cheery self or the avenging queen, Grisham gave her the same teasing eyes he always has on, the look of grudging respect for her, and all the sexual innuendos he seemed to have endless supplies of. Oh, how she wished Grisham was well. She would even let him make crude remarks at her expense.
A sense of foreboding entered her heart. It was not without cause. The sight of Grisham's perfectly still body made her heart twist inside.
The lack of clothes Grisham had on gave her a clear view of the damage that was inflicted upon him.
Large patches of swollen skin appeared on his chest and various areas on his arms and face. Bandages covered his head as well as a majority of his torso.
Grisham suffered a concussion from being knocked unconscious and adding to the list was the broken ribs of stinging pain into his insides. There was blood seeping through the bandage from his unhealed knife lesion in the abdomen.
As soon as Tessa saw the bleeding wound, she reflexively felt for the scar of her own injury. She shuddered at the agony Grisham must be suffering in his sleep.
Tessa wanted to run outside and forget what she had saw, but she couldn't urge her body to take another step back. Instead she took another step forward and another until she reached his bedside table. Sitting down quietly on the chair next to the bed, Tessa gazed worriedly at the bedridden captain.
At a closer look, the injuries magnified to an incredible degree. Silent tears trailed down her cheeks. Trying to gather her composure, Tessa impulsively reached down to hold his hand in hers.
It was large and rough, but cool and soft, too.
In fact, his hand was too cold.
Rubbing his hand to release her own warmth into his, Tessa inadvertently woke him up.
Grisham, somewhere in his deep sleep, felt Tessa's presence returned to him again. This time, however, warmth started to trickle into his legs and up his thighs, a current now..............flowing upstream to reach his aching heart.
A content sigh escaped from his mouth.
Slowly, but eagerly Grisham opened his eyes to meet the person who made him feel this safe and warm in a long time.
Tessa started at the sight of Grisham's blue orbs meeting hers. She had not expected him to wake up so soon.
She was about to whisper a greeting when his eyes took on a smoldering look.
He stared past her irises and into her heart.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, honey is sweet, but not as sweet as you."
As quickly as he had started, the familiar childhood rhyme was over and the last word was left hanging in the air.
".........you."
Tessa started to blush uncontrollably. She felt the heat start to rise in the small of her back until it reached the apples of her cheeks. A blooming red colored her entire face. Her heartbeat had increased in mere seconds and her breathing had become shallow as she tried to remain calm.
She knew that it wasn't just an innocent rhyme, especially not when it came from Grisham himself. The look of blatant desire radiated from his eyes and body to her unsuspecting mind. She was in need of a serious cold bath. A dive into the ocean waves would be more like it.
The captain, seeming satisfied at her reaction, drifted off, mumbling incoherently in his sleep.
"The morphine, it must be the drug, or else he wouldn't have said such a thing." Tessa gasped out in a hurry, trying to rationalize what had just happened between them.
"Goodbye, my queen."
The words were barely audible, just part of a string of words linked together in one disjointed babble after the other. Nevertheless, Tessa caught it. A look of terror crossed her face.
*Oh God! He couldn't know. He probably just meant "a queen and not "the Queen." Not me. Right?!*
A sudden need to leave the small room took over.
Gathering her long skirt, she hurried out the door while taking a backward glance at the now sleeping soldier.
She didn't see the woman appear in the doorway.
"Oh, Lord!"
"Ow!"
"Tessa!"
"Vera?!"
"What are you doing here?!" Vera was slightly surprised at Tessa's appearance in the captain's own room.
Even though she would never confront Grisham about it, Vera was a little jealous that Tessa had always infatuated Grisham. Grisham would never reveal it, of course. But Vera could see the way he looked at the raven beauty. A hint of unrequited passion burned inside him; Vera would notice the way his manners changed in the slightest way whenever Tessa was around. It annoyed her to no end.
Yet, Vera knew, she couldn't return Grisham's feelings, whatever they may be. She had her own husband, a very loving husband, nonetheless. She had to get on with her life. There was still the understandable unwillingness to let go of such a wickedly handsome bad boy, but deeply sensitive man with the heart of a poet.
That was a secret that no one knew. Grisham didn't even know that she knew.
Coughing nervously, Tessa tried in vain to get out of this embarrassing situation. At least Dr. Helm was presumptuous enough to come up with an excuse for her, but Vera is still looking at her quizzically.
For once, Tessa was quite at loss for words.
"I....well...uhh....you see..."
"He cries for you in his sleep," Vera continued. "Whenever he thinks I don't notice, I hear him whispering your name in his slumber."
"What?!" Looking into Vera's formidable eyes, Tessa was stunned at the obvious truth.
"He.......I think Marcus has fallen for you. You don't know it. Probably never will. But I want you to know. There's something there, Tessa. You're special to him."
"I don't know what you're......." Tessa was incredulous. Grisham cried for her in his sleep? Captain Marcus Grisham? One of the Queen of Sword's top three enemies? Captain Marcus Grisham of Montoya's army has feelings for her? She would never believe it, not in a million years. Then again, she couldn't tell what her own feelings were. Everything was confused and twisted inside, giving her a dizzy sensation.
"Yes, you do," Vera bluntly cut her off. Vera couldn't understand why Tessa wasn't happy with this new discovery. Vera would be overjoyed to have a man like Grisham to love her. While she was married herself, bonded to another man, Tessa was a free bird. Tessa could make any choice she wants. It was that simple.
"It's not that simple......" Tessa started to say, but couldn't as she lost her train of thought.
"Why?" Vera's question was so easy and so complicated to answer at the same time.
"Huh?"
"I think I know. Tessa, you're afraid to be committed. You don't like to be tied down with a man. You're too......shall we say...independent. You're just like him. He hates being tied down too. Peas in a pod, you two are."
"I don't think now's a time to be humorous." Tessa was irritated at Vera's rolling along the idea of her and the captain having any similarities in character.
"I am not. You're simply afraid of the truth."
Taking out a piece of white cloth from her pouch, Vera cradled it to her chest.
"He once told me that the love of his life would have this. He gave it to me out of proving his worthiness for my affections. I know that in his heart I am not that special person. But I think you should keep it. He would've done the same sooner or later."
Vera pressed the soft, worn cloth into Tessa's unfeeling hands.
It was the long handkerchief that had been used as the Queen's temporary bandage. The same one that had saved Tessa's life. A trace of rose water mixed with something intangibly masculine wafted towards Tessa's delicate nose.
"He needs you, Tessa. He needs a woman like you. I thought I could give him what he wants. I thought it was just physical attraction that could keep Marcus content, but he wants something more. I don't have it. I can't afford to give it to him. He needs a loving touch that you have. You'll be better at taking care of him than I ever will. I wish you the best, my friend. Good luck."
The sound of swaying skirts marked Vera's exit.
Numb.
That's how exactly Tessa felt.
A wave of one emotion mixed with a slice of another mixed with a cloud of another mixed with a tingling of another into one big mess of nothingness.
She had to get out of the room soon. One emotion upheaval after another was too much for one confused woman in one day. Tessa dazedly walked out into the fading afternoon light. ___________________________________________________________________________ __________
See? I won't let our dear captain die! I would rather swallow a bug than let Dr. Helm get his paws on Tessa. Toodle lo! Look for the next chapter soon!