"Broken Denial"
Grisham hated the patrols.
They took time away from being in the pueblo. He wanted to oversee the training of his own soldiers. Montoya would have no word of it.
Although, Grisham considered himself recovered enough to resume his own position, Montoya assigned him to patrol instead. The colonel was still irritated that Grisham hadn't been in town when El Cazador attacked, and he had also found out that the captain's shadowy past included El Cazador as well. He hadn't been too thrilled about that.
Montoya was able to use El Cazador's crazy ranting in jail to dismiss the outlaw as insane or else Gaston would suspect the dealings both men had in the invasion of El Cazador's bandidos. Then there was the other captain the colonel had to be concerned with.
Montoya worried that Grisham might have found out El Cazador's connection with the colonel's plans of robbing the noble families. However the captain suspected nothing.
Grisham was too caught up in his own inner turmoil.
Montoya knew how to keep Grisham away from the pueblo for a while and clean up the mess before bringing the captain back to headquarters. In place, the conniving colonel had Gaston as the perfect puppet who trusted Montoya's orders.
So Grisham was stuck patrolling the outskirts of Santa Helena. In spite of this, the arrangements brought him closer to a particular hacienda.
His new assignment was to patrol during the hours between noon and four. It didn't help that these were the hours that Tessa was usually outside, running her errands.
They hadn't spoken since that night. The tension was thick and heavy. It hung low on both of them. Furtive glances fueled by self-imposed silence were enough to drive Marta crazy. She didn't know what was going on between her child and the now subdued captain. The mysterious relationship between them was strangely unsettling.
"What happened between you and Grisham?"
"Nothing." Tessa didn't look up as she continued to brush Chico's back.
"You know you can have Lupe brush the horses. What are you doing out here in the barn?"
"Nothing."
"Tessa, if you don't tell me what's going on, I'll just have to find some way to send Grisham because he's getting on my nerves. We don't even have to pay the horrendous patrol fees. "
"No! I.....I mean......Why send Grisham away?" Marta had Tessa's full attention now.
"Because his being here is making you act strangely and I am tired of your strange behavior. Now tell me what's going on." Marta's patience was running out like the sand in an hourglass and Tessa could feel it.
"He insulted me." It was all Tessa could think of at the moment.
"What?! Tessa I thought you could handle insults. Of all people, Grisham shouldn't surprise you. There must be something else. Something you're not telling me."
Tessa couldn't hide from Marta's probing eyes. "I......I think I like him."
Raising her eyebrow, Marta gazed knowingly at her for a moment.
"Oh, child, I already knew that. Your feelings were changed the moment I saw you return from fighting El Cazador. They've been there for a while now. I don't think anybody can take them away. Not any man and more importantly, not even you."
Marta's statements stunned the young woman. Tessa had believed that she could remove her newfound feelings whenever she wanted, but she hadn't expected that it would never be possible. She had done it before with the other men she had encountered in her life. Tessa had never thought that Grisham would be an exception.
Dropping the brush, Tessa ran outside; unshed tears welling up in her eyes.
Grisham was startled to see her running past him, nearly upsetting his horse. He felt a pang of guilt as he gazed after her disappearing back. Then he turned to see Marta's grim visage. He knew he shouldn't intervene, but he couldn't resist. "What happened?"
"You should know, Captain." Marta's enigmatic answer unnerved him.
Jumping off his horse, Grisham advanced toward the older woman. His whole demeanor changed in a matter of seconds. Desperation crept into his voice.
"But I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." He added the last part quietly as his emotions started to stir, leaving him unaware of the fact that he was opening up to someone he hardly knew.
Keeping her gaze steady on the tall man before her, Marta was slightly taken aback by his honest answer. She saw an unfamiliar side of the usually aloof captain. She had been suspicious of his actions before. There was always an ulterior motive when Grisham was involved. Now Marta began to doubt the captain's typical flippant attitude. She wondered if it was all a cover to a more sincere, compassionate part of his persona.
On the other hand, Marta wasn't sure if this was all an act as well. No wonder Tessa was in an awful mess about her feelings for the captain. This man's emotions could turn one hundred eighty degrees in one second without warning. Marta had always had an inkling that the captain was enamored by Tessa's presence, but she wasn't prepared for the relationship to take on a more serious turn.
"Why don't you let your heart guide you? Whatever feelings she have will show through by her reactions toward you." Marta advised the heart-stricken captain.
Whether Grisham realized it or not, Marta could see the strong loyalty that Grisham felt for the young senorita. It was inevitable; Tessa seemed to have the similar effect on almost everybody. It was just surprising to learn that he was also under the same spell, but this spell would never go away.
She was seeing a more complex character in the captain than she initially gathered. This man had saved the Queen when she thought it was impossible for him to do such a thing. He had also kept Tessa's morale up during their capture. He had improved her self-esteem when the young woman was suffering from doubts in her role as the Queen, the champion of the people.
This man was Tessa's champion.
Marta felt a wave of chills as she assessed this realization. Grisham would never realize the impact he would to have on Tessa. He couldn't trust himself to be with a woman like her. It was quite saddening to see how eroded his confidence was. He couldn't believe he could properly love the kind of woman he really deserved. "You should tell her how you feel."
"I don't even know what I feel! How can I tell her?" Grisham was exasperated. "No. I won't. I can't."
"Captain." Marta was encouraging him, but Grisham would have none of it.
"Don't tell her. Don't you dare tell her we had this conversation." Grisham's voice took on a threatening tone, but Marta could hear the fear in it.
She shook her head slightly. "Fine, but things have a way of turning out you least expected," she warned behind his back as Grisham retreated to his horse and scrambled to get back to the pueblo.
~/~
"Juanita! Come back! I am not about to chase you all over the plaza." Tessa shouted after the exuberant young girl. Stopping to catch her breath, Tessa's eyes scanned across the various stands to keep the little girl in her sight. Baby-sitting the children of the pueblo was one of the only ways to keep Tessa's mind off on a certain individual in a military uniform. The constant sly smirk, mess of curly hair, and that arrogant walk.......... While Tessa's mind took a vacation, Juanita accidentally ran into Grisham's boot-covered kneecaps as he rounded a corner.
"Whaaaaaaaa!" Her tiny shrill voice shook Tessa's out of her wandering thoughts.
Grisham was a little bewildered at first, but her incessant crying motivated him to action. Frantically, he picked her up and bounced her gently on his left arm, while he used his right thumb to wipe away her tears and dripping nose. At the same time, he murmured softly into her ears, trying desperately to subdue her cries. A small crowd started to gather around the anxious captain and the teary eyed girl.
"Juanita!" Tessa parted the crowd to reach through the pair.
She was clearly bowled over at the sight of Juanita in Grisham's arms.
"Hey there, chiquita. Are you okay?" Grisham's head jerked up when her kind words reached them.
Suddenly the world only contained the three of them. The crowd seemed to fade into the blurry background. Following Tessa's movements with his eyes, Grisham was awestruck by the way she was whispering to the young form in his arms. In a few more steps, she had treaded into his personal space. Grisham's head unconsciously dropped down to see Tessa up close. A twinge of jealousy snuck into him when he saw the way her tender hand reached to stroke Juanita's wet cheeks. He wanted to move his eyes away, feeling a little bit shameful since he insulted her, but was mesmerized by her proximity.
Feeling the unconcealed stare of Grisham's eyes, Tessa looked up to see the now-familiar passionate gaze. Blushing slightly, she quickly stepped outside of their invisible circle. As soon as she did, the whoosh of reality came back.
The crowd had already dispersed once there was no controversy about what had happened. Even Juanita had immediately quieted when Tessa reached them. She felt a muted tingling in the back of neck between the two adults in front of her. There was something special about them. However, she grew restless staying still in Grisham's arms.
"Can I go home now?" Her soft voice sounded like a gong breaking the couple's gaze.
"Oh I'm so sorry! Come on, let's take you back to your papa, Juanita." Tessa reluctantly took her eyes away from Grisham's impassioned ones. Taking the girl out of the captain's arms. Tessa apologized for the trouble Juanita caused.
Words lost to him, Grisham only dumbly nodded as Tessa took Juanita away. A disappointed sigh escaped from the lone captain as he walked the opposite way.
~/~
Papers lay scattered everywhere. On the desktop. Windowsill. Bookshelf. Bed. The floor was covered in pieces of paper.
Drawings. Drawings of a specific set of chocolate brown eyes. Drawings of a specific noblewoman. Drawings of her face. Drawings of her entire body. Various angles. Postures. Lighting. All in charcoal or pencil.
Tessa was all over Grisham's room. She was haunting his dreams. He couldn't escape from her.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her. Always her. No one else anymore. Even if he tried to think of other things, everything came back to her.
"What have you done to me?" The words seemed to echo off the walls in the silent room.
Grisham was tired. Sleep had been evading him for days. He couldn't close his eyes with the fear of dreaming of her again. Lying spread-eagled on the cool wooden floor, Grisham hadn't moved an inch in the past hour since he left Montoya's office. His meeting with his boss came back to him in random parts.
~~~ "Are you still holding your job down as the Captain of the Guard?!"
~~~
"You are nothing. You think someone like her can ever love you! You are my property!"
~~~
"Gaston has an interest in Senorita Alvarado."
~~~
"I don't care about your proposition anymore."
~~~
"You are a mess. What has happened to you?"
~~~
"Are you still trying to woo Senorita Alvarado for her hand in marriage?"
~~~
"You're backing out now?!"
~~~
"You will do as I say!"
~~~
"Seize your opportunity!"
~~~
"Not anymore. I can't!"
~~~
"Her land could be yours! Her riches could be ours!"
~~~
"Gaston could take her away from you. He's a threat to us."
~~~
"Why can't you just leave her alone?"
~~~
"You have feelings for her, don't you?!"
~~~
"What about my proposition for you?"
~~~
"I am suspending your post until you come to your senses."
~~~
"Get out of my office, now!"
~~~
So that was it. Grisham was no longer the Captain of the Guard. It was his only security in Santa Helena. He had retained a shred of his dignity, but it came at a precarious price.
How deep he had gotten himself in? For enough Montoya could see the tension invading his usually cool character?
It was all Huntley's fault. If he hadn't wanted to capture the daughter of a don, Grisham wouldn't be in this mess. If Huntley hadn't set foot in this town, Grisham wouldn't have to face his ugly past as well as protecting Tessa under the new patrol policy. Then again, if Huntley had never shown up....................Well, probably the unavoidable would have happen anyways.
He would still fall in love with Tessa. It might have taken him longer to realize it, but it was going to happen one way or another.
Growling in frustration, Grisham leapt up from his prone position. The action caused a temporary dizziness in him, but he already had a plan forming.
"I am leaving this God-forsaken town," he declared loudly to himself.
***If you are confused by the "random" conversation, well it's supposed to be random. You can pretty much tell who's saying what. Well, the end is almost near for this story. But if you guys want me to post more you gotta r/r! I mighty appreciate it!
***Btw, I don't like this chapter. It was awkward for me to write esp. the conversation between Marta and Grisham (since I rarely see them interact on the show). This chapter took so long to write b/c I keep rewriting the scene over and over......initially it was extended, but I changed it. Anyways, feel free to comment on that.
***Also (I think is it Sophie?) I think Tessa's strength comes from her compassion and intellectual mind. Since we can all see her skills at fighting....I decided this fic will explore the less known "Tessa" about her. It's ok, I will try to make her "stronger"............
Grisham hated the patrols.
They took time away from being in the pueblo. He wanted to oversee the training of his own soldiers. Montoya would have no word of it.
Although, Grisham considered himself recovered enough to resume his own position, Montoya assigned him to patrol instead. The colonel was still irritated that Grisham hadn't been in town when El Cazador attacked, and he had also found out that the captain's shadowy past included El Cazador as well. He hadn't been too thrilled about that.
Montoya was able to use El Cazador's crazy ranting in jail to dismiss the outlaw as insane or else Gaston would suspect the dealings both men had in the invasion of El Cazador's bandidos. Then there was the other captain the colonel had to be concerned with.
Montoya worried that Grisham might have found out El Cazador's connection with the colonel's plans of robbing the noble families. However the captain suspected nothing.
Grisham was too caught up in his own inner turmoil.
Montoya knew how to keep Grisham away from the pueblo for a while and clean up the mess before bringing the captain back to headquarters. In place, the conniving colonel had Gaston as the perfect puppet who trusted Montoya's orders.
So Grisham was stuck patrolling the outskirts of Santa Helena. In spite of this, the arrangements brought him closer to a particular hacienda.
His new assignment was to patrol during the hours between noon and four. It didn't help that these were the hours that Tessa was usually outside, running her errands.
They hadn't spoken since that night. The tension was thick and heavy. It hung low on both of them. Furtive glances fueled by self-imposed silence were enough to drive Marta crazy. She didn't know what was going on between her child and the now subdued captain. The mysterious relationship between them was strangely unsettling.
"What happened between you and Grisham?"
"Nothing." Tessa didn't look up as she continued to brush Chico's back.
"You know you can have Lupe brush the horses. What are you doing out here in the barn?"
"Nothing."
"Tessa, if you don't tell me what's going on, I'll just have to find some way to send Grisham because he's getting on my nerves. We don't even have to pay the horrendous patrol fees. "
"No! I.....I mean......Why send Grisham away?" Marta had Tessa's full attention now.
"Because his being here is making you act strangely and I am tired of your strange behavior. Now tell me what's going on." Marta's patience was running out like the sand in an hourglass and Tessa could feel it.
"He insulted me." It was all Tessa could think of at the moment.
"What?! Tessa I thought you could handle insults. Of all people, Grisham shouldn't surprise you. There must be something else. Something you're not telling me."
Tessa couldn't hide from Marta's probing eyes. "I......I think I like him."
Raising her eyebrow, Marta gazed knowingly at her for a moment.
"Oh, child, I already knew that. Your feelings were changed the moment I saw you return from fighting El Cazador. They've been there for a while now. I don't think anybody can take them away. Not any man and more importantly, not even you."
Marta's statements stunned the young woman. Tessa had believed that she could remove her newfound feelings whenever she wanted, but she hadn't expected that it would never be possible. She had done it before with the other men she had encountered in her life. Tessa had never thought that Grisham would be an exception.
Dropping the brush, Tessa ran outside; unshed tears welling up in her eyes.
Grisham was startled to see her running past him, nearly upsetting his horse. He felt a pang of guilt as he gazed after her disappearing back. Then he turned to see Marta's grim visage. He knew he shouldn't intervene, but he couldn't resist. "What happened?"
"You should know, Captain." Marta's enigmatic answer unnerved him.
Jumping off his horse, Grisham advanced toward the older woman. His whole demeanor changed in a matter of seconds. Desperation crept into his voice.
"But I don't know. I don't know anything anymore." He added the last part quietly as his emotions started to stir, leaving him unaware of the fact that he was opening up to someone he hardly knew.
Keeping her gaze steady on the tall man before her, Marta was slightly taken aback by his honest answer. She saw an unfamiliar side of the usually aloof captain. She had been suspicious of his actions before. There was always an ulterior motive when Grisham was involved. Now Marta began to doubt the captain's typical flippant attitude. She wondered if it was all a cover to a more sincere, compassionate part of his persona.
On the other hand, Marta wasn't sure if this was all an act as well. No wonder Tessa was in an awful mess about her feelings for the captain. This man's emotions could turn one hundred eighty degrees in one second without warning. Marta had always had an inkling that the captain was enamored by Tessa's presence, but she wasn't prepared for the relationship to take on a more serious turn.
"Why don't you let your heart guide you? Whatever feelings she have will show through by her reactions toward you." Marta advised the heart-stricken captain.
Whether Grisham realized it or not, Marta could see the strong loyalty that Grisham felt for the young senorita. It was inevitable; Tessa seemed to have the similar effect on almost everybody. It was just surprising to learn that he was also under the same spell, but this spell would never go away.
She was seeing a more complex character in the captain than she initially gathered. This man had saved the Queen when she thought it was impossible for him to do such a thing. He had also kept Tessa's morale up during their capture. He had improved her self-esteem when the young woman was suffering from doubts in her role as the Queen, the champion of the people.
This man was Tessa's champion.
Marta felt a wave of chills as she assessed this realization. Grisham would never realize the impact he would to have on Tessa. He couldn't trust himself to be with a woman like her. It was quite saddening to see how eroded his confidence was. He couldn't believe he could properly love the kind of woman he really deserved. "You should tell her how you feel."
"I don't even know what I feel! How can I tell her?" Grisham was exasperated. "No. I won't. I can't."
"Captain." Marta was encouraging him, but Grisham would have none of it.
"Don't tell her. Don't you dare tell her we had this conversation." Grisham's voice took on a threatening tone, but Marta could hear the fear in it.
She shook her head slightly. "Fine, but things have a way of turning out you least expected," she warned behind his back as Grisham retreated to his horse and scrambled to get back to the pueblo.
~/~
"Juanita! Come back! I am not about to chase you all over the plaza." Tessa shouted after the exuberant young girl. Stopping to catch her breath, Tessa's eyes scanned across the various stands to keep the little girl in her sight. Baby-sitting the children of the pueblo was one of the only ways to keep Tessa's mind off on a certain individual in a military uniform. The constant sly smirk, mess of curly hair, and that arrogant walk.......... While Tessa's mind took a vacation, Juanita accidentally ran into Grisham's boot-covered kneecaps as he rounded a corner.
"Whaaaaaaaa!" Her tiny shrill voice shook Tessa's out of her wandering thoughts.
Grisham was a little bewildered at first, but her incessant crying motivated him to action. Frantically, he picked her up and bounced her gently on his left arm, while he used his right thumb to wipe away her tears and dripping nose. At the same time, he murmured softly into her ears, trying desperately to subdue her cries. A small crowd started to gather around the anxious captain and the teary eyed girl.
"Juanita!" Tessa parted the crowd to reach through the pair.
She was clearly bowled over at the sight of Juanita in Grisham's arms.
"Hey there, chiquita. Are you okay?" Grisham's head jerked up when her kind words reached them.
Suddenly the world only contained the three of them. The crowd seemed to fade into the blurry background. Following Tessa's movements with his eyes, Grisham was awestruck by the way she was whispering to the young form in his arms. In a few more steps, she had treaded into his personal space. Grisham's head unconsciously dropped down to see Tessa up close. A twinge of jealousy snuck into him when he saw the way her tender hand reached to stroke Juanita's wet cheeks. He wanted to move his eyes away, feeling a little bit shameful since he insulted her, but was mesmerized by her proximity.
Feeling the unconcealed stare of Grisham's eyes, Tessa looked up to see the now-familiar passionate gaze. Blushing slightly, she quickly stepped outside of their invisible circle. As soon as she did, the whoosh of reality came back.
The crowd had already dispersed once there was no controversy about what had happened. Even Juanita had immediately quieted when Tessa reached them. She felt a muted tingling in the back of neck between the two adults in front of her. There was something special about them. However, she grew restless staying still in Grisham's arms.
"Can I go home now?" Her soft voice sounded like a gong breaking the couple's gaze.
"Oh I'm so sorry! Come on, let's take you back to your papa, Juanita." Tessa reluctantly took her eyes away from Grisham's impassioned ones. Taking the girl out of the captain's arms. Tessa apologized for the trouble Juanita caused.
Words lost to him, Grisham only dumbly nodded as Tessa took Juanita away. A disappointed sigh escaped from the lone captain as he walked the opposite way.
~/~
Papers lay scattered everywhere. On the desktop. Windowsill. Bookshelf. Bed. The floor was covered in pieces of paper.
Drawings. Drawings of a specific set of chocolate brown eyes. Drawings of a specific noblewoman. Drawings of her face. Drawings of her entire body. Various angles. Postures. Lighting. All in charcoal or pencil.
Tessa was all over Grisham's room. She was haunting his dreams. He couldn't escape from her.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her. Always her. No one else anymore. Even if he tried to think of other things, everything came back to her.
"What have you done to me?" The words seemed to echo off the walls in the silent room.
Grisham was tired. Sleep had been evading him for days. He couldn't close his eyes with the fear of dreaming of her again. Lying spread-eagled on the cool wooden floor, Grisham hadn't moved an inch in the past hour since he left Montoya's office. His meeting with his boss came back to him in random parts.
~~~ "Are you still holding your job down as the Captain of the Guard?!"
~~~
"You are nothing. You think someone like her can ever love you! You are my property!"
~~~
"Gaston has an interest in Senorita Alvarado."
~~~
"I don't care about your proposition anymore."
~~~
"You are a mess. What has happened to you?"
~~~
"Are you still trying to woo Senorita Alvarado for her hand in marriage?"
~~~
"You're backing out now?!"
~~~
"You will do as I say!"
~~~
"Seize your opportunity!"
~~~
"Not anymore. I can't!"
~~~
"Her land could be yours! Her riches could be ours!"
~~~
"Gaston could take her away from you. He's a threat to us."
~~~
"Why can't you just leave her alone?"
~~~
"You have feelings for her, don't you?!"
~~~
"What about my proposition for you?"
~~~
"I am suspending your post until you come to your senses."
~~~
"Get out of my office, now!"
~~~
So that was it. Grisham was no longer the Captain of the Guard. It was his only security in Santa Helena. He had retained a shred of his dignity, but it came at a precarious price.
How deep he had gotten himself in? For enough Montoya could see the tension invading his usually cool character?
It was all Huntley's fault. If he hadn't wanted to capture the daughter of a don, Grisham wouldn't be in this mess. If Huntley hadn't set foot in this town, Grisham wouldn't have to face his ugly past as well as protecting Tessa under the new patrol policy. Then again, if Huntley had never shown up....................Well, probably the unavoidable would have happen anyways.
He would still fall in love with Tessa. It might have taken him longer to realize it, but it was going to happen one way or another.
Growling in frustration, Grisham leapt up from his prone position. The action caused a temporary dizziness in him, but he already had a plan forming.
"I am leaving this God-forsaken town," he declared loudly to himself.
***If you are confused by the "random" conversation, well it's supposed to be random. You can pretty much tell who's saying what. Well, the end is almost near for this story. But if you guys want me to post more you gotta r/r! I mighty appreciate it!
***Btw, I don't like this chapter. It was awkward for me to write esp. the conversation between Marta and Grisham (since I rarely see them interact on the show). This chapter took so long to write b/c I keep rewriting the scene over and over......initially it was extended, but I changed it. Anyways, feel free to comment on that.
***Also (I think is it Sophie?) I think Tessa's strength comes from her compassion and intellectual mind. Since we can all see her skills at fighting....I decided this fic will explore the less known "Tessa" about her. It's ok, I will try to make her "stronger"............