Konwanba, minna. ^-^ The fifth installment of "A Daydream?" has arrived, yay! Thanks to everyone for the positive reviews, even though the last chapter sucked big booty. It's amazing when your muse returns to you…

Warnings: The swearing returns.

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          Yuki paced back and forth in his living room, arms folded and fists clenched. He had looked for hours for Shuichi, exhausting himself, at the amusement park; he'd checked every candy store, every ride, and every bathroom at least three times. He drove to Shuichi's favorite places to buy candy and eat. Maybe he had suddenly been imparted with an epiphany and had to get to NG as fast as possible! When Yuki asked the secretary at the front desk if Shindou Shuichi had come in to work, however, the woman looked sorry and told him no. Desperate, he even went to the park where they first met, knowing it was a special place to him. The boy was nowhere to be found.

          He hesitated to call Hiroshi. The guitarist hated him enough that he'd probably think Yuki himself had kidnapped the singer. But Yuki had to know if Shuichi had happened to run to Hiro's apartment. It was all the way across the city…

          "Nakano," came the hoarse, slurred voice after a few rings. Was the man in bed? Yuki checked his wall clock - five o'clock sharp.

          "This is Yuki."

          "Oh, Yuki…" The voice cleared and there was a soft rustle. "Everything okay?"

          "Yah," he lied easily. What was he supposed to say? Sorry, I lost your friend like I'd lose something out of my pocket? He just fell out of the hole? When Shuichi was found, Yuki promised himself to give the singer a good thwacking. How dare he put Yuki in a situation like this. If Shuichi had left for work and not shown up, it would have been different. But people don't just disappear from amusement parks; especially famous people. Damn him. And damn Touma for seeing how attached Yuki was getting before Yuki even figured it out. And damn his sister who should have separated them when she had the chance. Yuki began to shake with frustration and anger. "Has Shuichi called you lately?"

          "Yesterday. Why?"

          Now what to say. Amazingly able to keep his voice calm and characteristically indifferent, Yuki said, "I haven't seen him since about one o'clock."

          There was a pause. "So you're saying…" Hiro paused and waited for Yuki to finish for him, but of course, he didn't. "…that you don't know where he is?"

          "That's right."

          "Oh God."

          Yuki heard a soft voice in the background, asking what was wrong. Grinning wryly, he realized who it was. Good for Hiro. He'd had no idea the artist had tagged his ex-fiancée.

          "Have you looked for him at all?" His tone of voice was accusing, but Yuki managed to keep his cool.

          "Ever since I realized he had left."

          "He just up and walked off?"

          "Don't think he flew."

          "From the apartment?"

          "The park."

          "Which park?"

          "The amusement park downtown."

          "Oh, shit."

          Yuki rubbed his forehead. This was getting him nowhere. "Look, Nakano, if you don't know where he is-"

          "Where have you looked?"

          "Everywhere."

          "Well, obviously not, because you haven't found him."

          "What the hell do you want me to do, dig through trash cans?"

          "Aren't you worried?"

          Yuki had to think about how to answer that question. He supposed since the entire topic of their conversation was how much he had looked for the boy, it was obvious now that yes, he was worried. "Slightly."

          "Slightly?" Hiro's tone grew venomous. "You're such a bastard! Shuichi could be kidnapped by some perverted pedophile or a raging homophobe and they could be torturing him or even-"

          "NAKANO!" Yuki roared into the phone, interrupting him, "Don't you ever talk to me like I don't know what horrible things can happen to…to people." His knuckles gripping the phone were white and he had begun to sweat. Who did Hiroshi think he was, talking to him like this? He did think it was Yuki's fault. Idiot! "Damn it! I fucking looked for him, okay? I looked in every store and every arcade and in every god…damn…tree Shuichi ever climbed. He wasn't there. He isn't anywhere. He's not with me, he's not with you, he's not at work, he's not anywhere. He up and fucking disappeared. And damn it, Nakano, you are NOT going to blame ME for this because I FUCKING LOOKED!"

          Hiro was silent, for which Yuki was grateful.

***

          Chewing thoughtfully on the end of his pen, Seguchi Touma began reviewing the final draft of Bad Luck's new contract. New album, new contract, K had insisted. Wonderful managing skills.

          Bad Luck. The new voice rising in J-pop entertainment. He smiled, nostalgic and retrospective, remembering he and Nittle Grasper's own rise to the top of the charts. They were so young then, so naïve and new to the business. Now that they had reunited to sell another album or two, it just wasn't the same. It was just as fun, but the experience was different.

          Shindou and Nakano and his own cousin Fujisaki all had so much talent; at least as much as Nittle Grasper did at that level, if not more. All they needed was fine-tuning and a little help with stage performance and they were stars. Touma smiled. The fine-tuning was his job, and he was proud. Those three boys reminded him so much of himself and Ryuichi and Noriko…It was amazing to him how time passed and everything just seemed to get better. Music, voices, instruments. Sales, he thought, grinning now. Nittle Grasper started off with a bang and we'll finish with one...Demo...There's no way we'll see as many sales as Bad Luck will by the time they're finished.

          There was a discreet knock on his door. Touma glanced at his watch, one eyebrow raised in confusion. He hadn't scheduled a meeting with anyone for this time, as usual. When he was about to call the secretary downstairs to ask who it was, a low voice murmured, "Delivery, Seguchi Touma."

          Rising slowly from his comfortable desk chair, he checked his agenda one more time. He hadn't ordered anything that would need to be delivered personally. Collecting himself, needlessly straightening his flawless attire, he called out.

          "Come in."

          There was no response. Furrowing his brow, Touma repeated himself louder, just as dignified. He sighed when once again, there was silence behind his door, and strode quickly, irritated, to the door.

          Upon opening it and seeing no one behind it, his gaze fell immediately to the floor. A strangled gasp escaped his throat and the calm, put-together Seguchi Touma nearly fainted.

***

          Usually when his phone rang, Yuki tended to ignore it. He had once considered getting rid of his home phone and keeping only his cell, but he'd been talked out of it. But now, high-strung, anxious, and hopefully on the way to "gettin' wasted," he snatched it up as fast as humanly possible and nearly yelled into it.

          "Shuichi?"

          There was an uncomfortable pause. "Ah, no, Eiri-san, gomen-nasai, this is…this is Touma."

          Yuki could tell by the unusually expressive tone of his friend's voice that something serious had happened. It had to be about Shuichi.

          "Where is he, Touma?" Yuki demanded, sitting up from his reclined position. He'd decided that he should relax, since his headache had been getting steadily worse for a while. So he'd camped out on the couch with a six pack of beer, two packs of cigarettes and the phone. "Damn it, tell me!"

          "Eiri-san, you should be sitting down if you aren't."

          "I'm fucking sitting, Touma, get on with it."

          "He…he isn't in good shape. I…gomen…"

          Yuki's chest instantly reduced to a tenth its natural size, or seemed to. He stopped breathing and his heart strained to beat against the limited space it was confined to. The lack of blood flow caused his body to turn cold almost immediately, and he clutched the phone desperately.

          He didn't care anymore that he cared. He didn't give a shit who knew, at least for now. The hardest part was letting himself admit it.

          "Touma," Yuki began slowly, "where is Shuichi? Just tell me you know where he is."

          Touma's voice broke. "I know."

***

          Head cradled in his hands, Yuki made it a point to sit away from everyone else. He was not here for the same reasons they were. That's what he kept telling himself.

          The doctor had said that Shuichi lost a lot of blood.

          Yuki had loved only once in his life. The possibility of…loving again…was a difficult thing to grapple with now years later. He had shut down that part of him so long ago. He used to be satisfied, thinking that he had squelched it for good, so he couldn't be hurt like that again. Selfish of him, when he thought about it. Why was Shuichi pulling up old memories? Why was the boy putting him through this agony? Why had he ever kissed his damnable cute mouth in that shitty elevator? If he would have run him over while he had the chance, he wouldn't be in this emotional mess. Yuki knew he had to decide. When Shuichi's health improved, he had to make a decision. The boy could easily afford his own place, so he didn't need to worry about kicking Shuichi out with nowhere to go. But can I let him go?

          A touch on his shoulder brought his weary eyes up slowly to meet with those of a surprisingly serious-looking Ryuichi.

          "You look terrible," he said matter-of-factly, handing Yuki a small cup of warm tea. It was true. His blonde hair was a dull, tangled mat, his eyes were red, his clothes were disheveled and reeked of alcohol, and he looked at least five years older. Ryuichi sat down on the bench beside his friend's lover and leaned back against the wall. Sipping on his own tea, he looked straight ahead, never once looking at Yuki. "You've tried to hide it in there for so long. It's easy to see the battle going on in you. Kinda like watching cowboys and Indians," he chuckled, "neither is bad; they both have their own reasons." Ryuichi seemed to find this analogy quite intriguing, and Yuki rolled his eyes. "Look, I know you've got your demons – you'd be surprised; we all do – but Shuichi shouldn't suffer for your problems."

          Yuki's head shot up at that, eyes like daggers. If one more person accused him of being the reason Shuichi was… "Are you insinuating-"

          Ryuichi held up a hand. "Iie, no, that's not what I mean at all. Accidents happen, and that's why we're here at the hospital." He sighed, examining his fingernails. "But…Shuichi needs careful tending, even though he seems so resilient to all evil in the world. I know you care about him, Yuki Eiri, and I know you maybe even love him. Does he?"

          And when Ryuichi finally looked at the man beside him, the star smiled. Yuki drank his tea and left.

***

          "Sorry for calling so late-"

          "It's alright, Eiri-san. I was awake."

          "I have to know some things, Touma, things only you can tell me."

          "Anything."

          "Where did you find him?"

          "Shindou-san?"

          "No, the fucking Easter bunny."

          A pause. "Someone dumped him outside my office door."

          "How do you know?"

          "Because I was there, Eiri-san. Someone knocked, said 'Delivery for Seguchi Touma,' and then left."

          "You didn't see who it was?"

          "There was no one there when I opened the door. Just Shuichi."

          "Thousands of people work in that building, Touma, someone had to have seen who it was."

          "Not necessarily."

          "What the hell do you mean, 'not necessarily'?"

          Touma's voice grew a fraction less patient. "Obviously, no one saw who it was, Eiri-san. My secretaries all informed me that no one they hadn't seen before came above the third floor today. There are ways of getting in and out of a place without anyone seeing you."

          Yuki rubbed his forehead, laying back on his couch, flipping the TV on. News about Shuichi's attack. He turned it off promptly, throwing the remote across the room, into the kitchen. It clattered loudly, making him wince. He'd had a permanent headache since about one o'clock that afternoon, and it was getting worse as he tried to think.

          "Touma."

          "Yes?"

          "I need to be sure of one thing."

          "Yes, Eiri-san."

          "Did you have anything to do with this?"

          "Nani?!"

          "I want a straight answer, Touma. Did you or did you not have something to do with Shuichi's accident today?"

          "Eiri-san," Touma said breathlessly, shocked, "why would you ask me something like that?"

          "The other night on the phone, Touma. You apologized for it today. You remember."

          A pause. "I see."

          "I want an answer. Now."

          "I had nothing to do with what happened today, Eiri. I promise to you on Kitazawa's grave."

          Yuki winced, but he believed it. "Then what the hell would make you ask me something like that? You want to know how I feel now, Touma?"

          "Eiri-san-"

          "Do you really want to know what it feels like? How I feel when 'something bad' happens to that damned kid?"

          "Please, Eiri, I-"

          "Like shit. Pure and odiferous shit."

          "I'm so sorry, Eiri-san." Touma cleared his throat. "I…I did have something planned for Shindou-san, but it was not violent."

          A long, confused pause. "What?"

          "I was planning on…surprising Shindou-san when you two came over to eat with us tomorrow. Or, today, I guess. I wanted to…This is hard to explain."

          "For your sake, just say it."

          "I was going to try to make a deal with him."

          "Figures. Manipulative bastard."

          "That's all it was, Eiri-san, I swear. I guess you know I'm capable of worse, but knowing how much Shindou-san means to you, you know I could never harm him!"

          Yuki grunted. His head was throbbing, beating in time with his heart. "How unlike you to beg. Elaborate on this deal of yours."

          "I thought some bad publicity might have a positive affect on Bad Luck's sales. That might not make much sense to you, but in the long run, it would probably improve their ratings. Bad publicity is better than none at all. So I was going to drug Shindou-san a little, take him out and make a fool of him."

          "But you told me to think about my relationship with him... and what I would do without him. That's a little suspicious, Touma; even you'll admit that."

          "Eiri-san…I think you know why I said that."

          Yuki bit the end of his thumb, closing his eyes. "Of course." Of course! Why didn't he think of Touma's never-ending love for him?

          "It's very late. Er, early. You need all the sleep you can get tonight. "

          "Yah."

          "I'm sorry about this, Eiri-san. I'll get my best people looking for whoever did this."

          "Okay."

          "You will go see him in the morning, won't you?"

          "I might."

          Touma smiled knowingly, and Yuki could sense it. Why did he suddenly feel like he knew whoever had done this to Shuichi? "Oyasumi."

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Alrighty then! *does a little victory dance* You know, it's the small victories in life that really mean something to you. I was so excited when I wrote this chapter…it had been locked away somewhere deep inside, and all I had needed to do was break out the type writer!

Just wanna say, you guys are great…and if you haven't read my other upload, "Shuichi's Ode to Football"…haha, I'm not sure I'd recommend it. That was totally random and it was what really brought this chapter out of me. You've just gotta have some fun when you're blocked and then –SHWAP!!– it comes right out.

Not bad for a fluff story, eh? Started out as pure romance and now it has totally switched over to "Dun dun duuuuuunnnnnn!" (my theme music…)

Hopefully more will be out soon…shouldn't be much longer 'fore I can wrap this puppy up. ^_^