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Taking Away the Loneliness

Chapter 2

Harry left Snape's office shortly after their conversation ended. He made his way slowly toward the Gryffindor tower, all the while his mind reeling over what he'd been told about his parents as well as the revelation of what Snape had revealed to him. When Harry entered the common room, he released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding, when he saw the room practically empty.

Harry made his way up the stairs to his dorm room, still trying to piece together what exactly had happened with Snape down in the dungeons earlier. It was bizarre and unsettling that the slimy git had actually been forthcoming and understanding of his situation, as far as being unwittingly outed by someone. It seemed totally uncharacteristic for his professor to be that open to anyone about anything, especially Harry The-Boy-That-Wouldn't-Die Potter.

Harry shook his head trying to rid himself of the unwelcome thoughts that maybe, just maybe his potions professor understood him. It didn't settle anything really, the man had outed him and the Gryffindor didn't like not being in control. Considering much of his life was already dictated by others, he'd rather keep certain aspects of his life in his hands if it was possible.

Since that memorable potion's class when Harry's secret had been revealed, Harry had been approached by several boys and men from different houses, as well as on the weekend jaunts out to Hogsmeade. He found most of them thoroughly pathetic excuses for people looking for a free ride on his fame, the fame he never wanted nor asked for.

When Harry reached his dorm room he sighed with relief; just about everyone was asleep. It was rather early if he'd thought about it, which he hadn't; he had other things on his mind. He quietly collected his pajamas and toiletries and went to take a shower; it would help settle him as well as relax him after what had happened in the professor's office earlier in the evening.

Finally getting the water adjusted to where he liked it, he stepped under the spray and let it just wash all his troubles away as much as it could, which wasn't very much with the many thoughts still turning over in his head. He knew how Slytherin minds worked, and he knew that Snape was the head of Slytherin, not just figuratively speaking either. The man was the epitome of Slytherin House and there was always something to be gained from letting information such as what he'd heard tonight out. What was Snape trying to get out of him when he'd let that juicy bit of information out about his father outing him? Granted, the reasons between Snape's outing and his own were vastly different in that his father was trying to protect where as Snape was trying to embarrass. But still, why share that information unless he wanted something in return? It was not like Snape at all to try and comfort someone, especially almost a full year later.

Finishing his shower he turned off the water dried off and got ready for bed. He knew he wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon; what Snape had done earlier threw him for a loop. Lying in his bed Harry got ready for the long night ahead; he only hoped that Voldemort would be kind and wouldn't be in the middle of some sort of torture session when Harry finally got to sleep. The Occlumency lessons had helped as far as keeping the planted dreams away, but it was of little help with the visions themselves. Harry, lying in his bed staring at the ceiling, let his mind drift.

Down in the dungeons something similar was happening. Severus was reminiscing on his friendship with James Potter; it really had been amazing that they'd gotten along so well. Why the hell did the Gryffindor have to screw it all up by befriending that stupid mutt? But that was in the past and could not be changed.

Now Severus felt guilt about what had happened last year with Harry. Severus remembered how he had felt when James outed him, and he'd sworn he would never do anything like that to anyone, and here he had done it to his prior best friend's son. Obviously, the fates were having a huge laugh over this one.

Severus had poured himself some Brandy and was slowly sipping it while his mind twisted around how Harry had been acting lately. He'd been very angry and irritable, and not just to Severus, but also to everyone; it just seemed to be getting worse as the days went by. He needed to find out what was going on with Harry before the young man became too angry and wound up like Voldemort, himself. Sighing heavily, he began to form a plan to find out why the raven-haired teen was so angry at the world at large.

Back in the dorms Harry finally fell into a restless sleep where he was tormented by nightmares of his Godfather, Cedric, and his mother and father, all being killed before him and blaming him for everything.

The morning came too early for both Harry and Severus, but they had lives they had to live as well as roles to play and both stepped back into them without any problems.

Harry sat at the Gryffindor table quietly eating his breakfast trying to participate in the conversation Ron was having with Hermione, but having little luck with actually keeping up with what was being said. Sighing in defeat, he gave up all pretenses of paying attention to his two best friends.

"Everything all right Harry?" Ron asked, his voice heavy with concern for the boy that may as well be his brother.

"I'm all right Ron, really, it's just, I don't know, some weird stuff happened in detention last night and I'm not really ready to talk about it yet." Harry tried to placate his best friends while blowing them off at the same time. He had no idea what the hell happened last night; it was almost as if he'd been sucked into the twilight zone. Maybe he'd talk to Hermione about it later; right now, he needed to get to Transfiguration class before he was late. Deciding he would focus solely on his classes for the day Harry left the Great Hall and made his way to his first class.

Throughout the day, Severus kept remembering what he'd thought last night about Harry, and it had thrown him for a loop; he'd thought the boy beautiful. If he were to be completely honest with himself, he knew the boy was without question one of the most beautiful people in the world; not just on the outside but on the inside as well. To live through everything he had lived through and to still be able to maintain the amount of innocence he possessed, as well as the mostly positive outlook on life that he had, then, he was most certainly a beautiful person. Severus was all too aware that the young Wizard was also quite beautiful on the outside as well.

Harry was a combination of both his mother and father; if you really looked, he wasn't the splitting image of James; he had many features of his mother, not just those expressive jade green eyes of his. Severus had never really noticed before last night, but the boy, no, young man, was exquisite, delectable and down right tasty looking; but he'd never let anyone know he felt this way, not even the young Gryffindor himself would ever know.

By the end of the day it disturbed Severus to know that he'd been so distracted by the thoughts he'd been having that he didn't even give detention or take points when three second year Hufflepuffs melted their cauldrons. Scowling, Severus made his way to the Great Hall for dinner, looking forward to when he could retire to his chambers where he would have a quiet evening alone with his thoughts, and hopefully he'd be back to his normal self tomorrow.

"Harry," Hermione nudged him in his shoulder. Harry had been staring off into space during History of Magic class; he'd looked like he was a million miles away. "Are you ok?" She asked, her voice full of concern.

"Hermione, do you think you and I could talk this evening after dinner? Alone?" Harry asked furrowing his eyebrows together. Hermione nodded her compliance, she actually looked forward to it; maybe he'd finally tell her what had been eating at him all day.

The rest of the day passed by quickly. Harry and Hermione went back to the common room and then retreated to one of the corners. Harry cast a silencing spell around them so that he could speak freely to Hermione without worrying about anyone spreading rumors.

"Hermione, last night during detention I kind of exploded at Snape," Harry started. Hermione sighed exasperated with the way Harry had been acting lately; this certainly would not help their house win any points if it continued. "Before you get going on a lecture Hermione, he only took twenty points and explained some things to me." Harry sighed. "I blew up at him about last year when he outed me." Harry looked down to the hands he was wringing in his lap.

"Okay, what happened Harry? Tell me everything." Hermione really wanted to help the boy she looked at like a brother. Harry broke down and explained everything that had happened last night in detention and when he finished, he waited for her to say something, anything at all.

"Wow, that was quite an admission on his part last night, I can understand why you've been so thoughtful today. Well, I don't really know what to tell you Harry, but he did ask a very logical question, why have you been so angry with the world lately? I mean, ever since he did out you, you've been very angry, is that why? Because he outed you?" Hermione asked softly, so as not to aggravate Harry further than he already was.

"That's part of it Hermione. I will tell you but I want it held in the strictest of secrecy that this will not ever leave your mouth; once I tell you I never want to hear you speak of it again, is that clear?" The way Harry spoke left Hermione thinking she had no choice, so of course she agreed; Harry couldn't be left to keep all this bottled up within himself, it wasn't healthy and he was willing to share with her now. She accepted and nodded to the young lad next to her.

"The main reason I am so angry is that was the last thing in my life I had some control over; no one should be able to tell me whom I like and don't like, and I wasn't ready to tell anyone yet; he took that control from me. He just took it. That's why he told me what he did last night, it was an apology; but it still doesn't really help. He took away what very little control I have in my life whether he did it intentionally or not. I hate not being in control of anything in my life, so I think it only natural that I would unconsciously strike out at just about everyone. I don't mean to be so angry Hermione, but I just…I just can't help it." Harry finished, feeling deflated, but strangely enough relieved that someone else finally knew how he felt. Hermione smiled softly at him and gathered him into her arms and hugged him firmly. Harry relished the feeling he'd always gotten from both Hermione and Mrs. Weasley's hugs. They really meant the world to him since he had received so little attention and no affection as a child.

"We'll figure this out Harry. No matter what, always remember, I love you like my own brother. I will always be willing to listen to you and will help you get through this, we'll figure out a way to get you some more control in your life; I can only imagine how you must feel sweetheart." Hermione was so heartfelt in what she said that Harry couldn't help but believe her. When they finally separated, she cupped his face in her hands and kissed his forehead. His eyes sparkled like they hadn't since before even the Tri-Wizard Tournament back in their fourth year, it was good to see a bit of the old Harry back in his eyes, even if it was only for a few moments. It spoke more of a promise then any words he might have been able to say.

By: Minerva-Severus-Dumbledor Hope you enjoyed it!!!