Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters that
appear in my story. . .that makes me sad :( . Oh well, at the rate I'm
going, you all should be happy that I don't own Harry Potter!
A/N: Yayers! I finally finished this chapter the other day *does victory dance*. . .but, I don't know, it's just not that funny, that makes me sad, yet again. . .and you know what else makes me sad?! That people aren't reviewing! The only two people that have reviewed were the two that I had to bribe into reviewing (not really, they did it on their own free will, but they only did it because they are my 'special' little friends) Please review if you read this story, it will make me happy, and I may even continue writing the story. . .I may even write a little faster, knowing that I have adoring fans, that, or people who can't stand my story, but whether you hate it or love it or like it, REVIEW! *makes pouty face* you see, I even made the pouty face :)
Chapter 2: The Cryptic Code
"Whbt's bo dizbar?" Ron asked, his voice muffled because of the fact that he was busy kissing the picture of their headmaster.
"Ron! That is seriously disturbing! You could at least wait until you are alone, in the privacy of your own bed to snog the magazine to death!" Said a disgusted Hermione. "Now, could you please take your mouth off of the magazine and tell me what you said during your snog-fest?!" Hermione demanded, more so than asked.
Ron pulled his face away from the picture, which was now dripping with saliva. "oh, yeah, sure." Ron complied and asked his question once more, this time much more clearly "I said: What's so bizarre?"
"Oh, that! Thanks for reminding me, I had nearly forgotten about it." Ron, and his disturbing ways had obviously distracted Hermione earlier. "The note I got. . . here, read it." Hermione handed the letter to Ron, who read it and gasped.
"Whoever wrote this note must have been smoking a whole truck load of crack." Ron said as he passed the letter to Harry.
"What's this?" Harry asked, very confused.
"Harry, haven't you been listening to our conversation at all?" Ron asked his discombobulated friend.
"Not really." Harry replied
"Then what HAVE you been doing this whole time?! What is so important that you wouldn't want to listen to ME, the wonderful Hermione talk?! Every word I say should be cherished by you two, because I am the most intellectual, amazing person you know!" Hermione shouted, flattering herself a wee bit too much.
"Well, I've. . .err. . .I haven't been doing anything, really" Harry answered in a very unconvincing tone of voice.
It just so happens that while Ron and Hermione were talking about the letter, Harry had been rubbing his man-boobs seductively while winking at Neville. Neville had been licking his lips in a suggestive manner, in return.
"Ok, sure, we believe you." Ron said through many *coughs*. "Just read the letter that I gave you, and tell us what you think." Harry read the letter through once, and then another time, to get the information straight in his mind.
"Well?. . ." Hermione began.
"I do believe that this letter has been written in code!" Harry said, happy with himself because he had come up with a smart answer.
"Code?! It just looked like scribbles to me. Let me see it again." Harry passed the letter to Hermione, who looked at it once again. "What kind of messed up code is it then, Harry?" Hermione inquired.
"It appears to be written in Hieroglyphics, an ancient Egyptian's way of writing."
"I know what Hieroglyphics are! I'm not an idiot like you guys are!" Hermione said, outraged at the fact that Harry had informed her of something, as if she was a mindless, drooling, bluderhead like everyone else in the world. "But, Harry, dear, these don't look like any Hieroglyphics I've ever seen." Hermione said slowly and sweetly, as if speaking to a three-year-old, or someone with the mental stature of a three year old. "What do you think Ron?. . .RON?!"
"Huh? What's going on now? Ron asked, oblivious to the current conversation topic. He had been too busy writing something to listen to what was said.
"What's that paper say mate?" Harry asked while scratching his butt vigorously.
"Oh, this letter. . .err. . .nothing!" Ron stammered, obviously hiding something from them.
Hermione snatched the paper from Ron, and began to read it out loud.
"Editor's of Playgirl:
I received this month's issue of Playgirl, and found that Mr. September is quite attractive with his gorgeous, silvery locks of hair, and his saggy man-boobs. I would LOVE to see more of Mr. September in later issues. . ."
Ron grabbed the paper from Hermione, and tore it into many pieces before she could read anymore. Ron stuffed the bits of paper into his mouth, and swallowed them in one large gulp. "So, what did you guys want?" Ron asked, after gulping some water to wash the bits of paper that were sticking to his throat down.
"I asked what you thought about the hieroglyphics idea." Said Hermione.
"Oh, that." Ron said, somewhat remembering talking about it earlier. "I think that we should check out a book from the library on Ancient Egypt, and find out if it is anything like Hieroglyphics."
"Wow!" said a ver surprised Hermione. "You actually said something intelligent, remind me to give you a dog biscuit later." Hermione told Ron.
"Dog biscuit?! Where, where, where?" Ron asked, his eyes darting around the Great Hall.
"I will give it to you later, when we go back to the common room." Hermione assured Ron, while patting his head.
"Do I get a doggy treat too?" Harry asked excitedly, his butt wagging back and forth quickly.
"No!" Hermione said evilly "Only good little idiots get a doggy treat, not bad ones who haven't ever said anything intelligent in their life."
"But I was the on who had the idea of it being written in hieroglyphics!" Harry stated.
At this, Hermione caulked the shot gun, which had been sitting on her lap the whole time, pointed it at Harry and said, " No! It was I who came up with the idea of it being written in hieroglyphics!"
Harry opened his mouth, about to protest, when Hermione began putting pressure on the trigger and said, "I was the one. Wasn't I, Harry?!"
Harry complied and meekly said, "Yes, Hermione."
"That's a good boy Harry!" Hermione said happily. "Perhaps I will give you a tiny crumb off of a dog treat for that." At this, Harry began bouncing around joyfully, thanking Hermione for her greatness.
"There, there, my little drooling monkeys." Hermione said as she put Harry and Ron's leashes on. "Its off to the library with us." She said joyfully, skipping to the library, with the two boys following close behind.
A/N See! What did I tell ya?! It wasn't as funny as the last chapter, I guess I was just not in the "mood for humor" when I was writing it. I will try to make the next chapter better. . .trust me! Anyway, thanks to my two reviewers: K.D. Toling and S.D. Chesko! Yay for you two! See? If you other people would have reviewed sooner, you could have been mentioned in my story, but you didn't, so Na na na na na naaaaaaaaaa *sticks tongue out*
K.D. Toling: You should be scared. . .bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
S.D. Chesko: Threaten me again, and I'll hunt you down, and nibble on your toes until you've seen the error of your evil ways!!! *cackles like a mad- person on crack*
A/N: Yayers! I finally finished this chapter the other day *does victory dance*. . .but, I don't know, it's just not that funny, that makes me sad, yet again. . .and you know what else makes me sad?! That people aren't reviewing! The only two people that have reviewed were the two that I had to bribe into reviewing (not really, they did it on their own free will, but they only did it because they are my 'special' little friends) Please review if you read this story, it will make me happy, and I may even continue writing the story. . .I may even write a little faster, knowing that I have adoring fans, that, or people who can't stand my story, but whether you hate it or love it or like it, REVIEW! *makes pouty face* you see, I even made the pouty face :)
Chapter 2: The Cryptic Code
"Whbt's bo dizbar?" Ron asked, his voice muffled because of the fact that he was busy kissing the picture of their headmaster.
"Ron! That is seriously disturbing! You could at least wait until you are alone, in the privacy of your own bed to snog the magazine to death!" Said a disgusted Hermione. "Now, could you please take your mouth off of the magazine and tell me what you said during your snog-fest?!" Hermione demanded, more so than asked.
Ron pulled his face away from the picture, which was now dripping with saliva. "oh, yeah, sure." Ron complied and asked his question once more, this time much more clearly "I said: What's so bizarre?"
"Oh, that! Thanks for reminding me, I had nearly forgotten about it." Ron, and his disturbing ways had obviously distracted Hermione earlier. "The note I got. . . here, read it." Hermione handed the letter to Ron, who read it and gasped.
"Whoever wrote this note must have been smoking a whole truck load of crack." Ron said as he passed the letter to Harry.
"What's this?" Harry asked, very confused.
"Harry, haven't you been listening to our conversation at all?" Ron asked his discombobulated friend.
"Not really." Harry replied
"Then what HAVE you been doing this whole time?! What is so important that you wouldn't want to listen to ME, the wonderful Hermione talk?! Every word I say should be cherished by you two, because I am the most intellectual, amazing person you know!" Hermione shouted, flattering herself a wee bit too much.
"Well, I've. . .err. . .I haven't been doing anything, really" Harry answered in a very unconvincing tone of voice.
It just so happens that while Ron and Hermione were talking about the letter, Harry had been rubbing his man-boobs seductively while winking at Neville. Neville had been licking his lips in a suggestive manner, in return.
"Ok, sure, we believe you." Ron said through many *coughs*. "Just read the letter that I gave you, and tell us what you think." Harry read the letter through once, and then another time, to get the information straight in his mind.
"Well?. . ." Hermione began.
"I do believe that this letter has been written in code!" Harry said, happy with himself because he had come up with a smart answer.
"Code?! It just looked like scribbles to me. Let me see it again." Harry passed the letter to Hermione, who looked at it once again. "What kind of messed up code is it then, Harry?" Hermione inquired.
"It appears to be written in Hieroglyphics, an ancient Egyptian's way of writing."
"I know what Hieroglyphics are! I'm not an idiot like you guys are!" Hermione said, outraged at the fact that Harry had informed her of something, as if she was a mindless, drooling, bluderhead like everyone else in the world. "But, Harry, dear, these don't look like any Hieroglyphics I've ever seen." Hermione said slowly and sweetly, as if speaking to a three-year-old, or someone with the mental stature of a three year old. "What do you think Ron?. . .RON?!"
"Huh? What's going on now? Ron asked, oblivious to the current conversation topic. He had been too busy writing something to listen to what was said.
"What's that paper say mate?" Harry asked while scratching his butt vigorously.
"Oh, this letter. . .err. . .nothing!" Ron stammered, obviously hiding something from them.
Hermione snatched the paper from Ron, and began to read it out loud.
"Editor's of Playgirl:
I received this month's issue of Playgirl, and found that Mr. September is quite attractive with his gorgeous, silvery locks of hair, and his saggy man-boobs. I would LOVE to see more of Mr. September in later issues. . ."
Ron grabbed the paper from Hermione, and tore it into many pieces before she could read anymore. Ron stuffed the bits of paper into his mouth, and swallowed them in one large gulp. "So, what did you guys want?" Ron asked, after gulping some water to wash the bits of paper that were sticking to his throat down.
"I asked what you thought about the hieroglyphics idea." Said Hermione.
"Oh, that." Ron said, somewhat remembering talking about it earlier. "I think that we should check out a book from the library on Ancient Egypt, and find out if it is anything like Hieroglyphics."
"Wow!" said a ver surprised Hermione. "You actually said something intelligent, remind me to give you a dog biscuit later." Hermione told Ron.
"Dog biscuit?! Where, where, where?" Ron asked, his eyes darting around the Great Hall.
"I will give it to you later, when we go back to the common room." Hermione assured Ron, while patting his head.
"Do I get a doggy treat too?" Harry asked excitedly, his butt wagging back and forth quickly.
"No!" Hermione said evilly "Only good little idiots get a doggy treat, not bad ones who haven't ever said anything intelligent in their life."
"But I was the on who had the idea of it being written in hieroglyphics!" Harry stated.
At this, Hermione caulked the shot gun, which had been sitting on her lap the whole time, pointed it at Harry and said, " No! It was I who came up with the idea of it being written in hieroglyphics!"
Harry opened his mouth, about to protest, when Hermione began putting pressure on the trigger and said, "I was the one. Wasn't I, Harry?!"
Harry complied and meekly said, "Yes, Hermione."
"That's a good boy Harry!" Hermione said happily. "Perhaps I will give you a tiny crumb off of a dog treat for that." At this, Harry began bouncing around joyfully, thanking Hermione for her greatness.
"There, there, my little drooling monkeys." Hermione said as she put Harry and Ron's leashes on. "Its off to the library with us." She said joyfully, skipping to the library, with the two boys following close behind.
A/N See! What did I tell ya?! It wasn't as funny as the last chapter, I guess I was just not in the "mood for humor" when I was writing it. I will try to make the next chapter better. . .trust me! Anyway, thanks to my two reviewers: K.D. Toling and S.D. Chesko! Yay for you two! See? If you other people would have reviewed sooner, you could have been mentioned in my story, but you didn't, so Na na na na na naaaaaaaaaa *sticks tongue out*
K.D. Toling: You should be scared. . .bwahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
S.D. Chesko: Threaten me again, and I'll hunt you down, and nibble on your toes until you've seen the error of your evil ways!!! *cackles like a mad- person on crack*