Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.
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This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.
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WWW.WOW
Wacky Wise Wizard's: Words on Women: Issue #2
Welcome back, readers, to my second installment of Words on Women. On to our first letter:
"Dear WWW: There's a girl I like, and she seems to like all guys, but she won't go out with me. What's wrong with me? Signed, The Giant Serpent."
Dear Stinking Snake: Take a bath, and get yourself a brain. Women generally don't like men with the intellect of a troll. It's ten times worse when he has the body odour of one to match.
"Dear WWW: Why is my brother such a git? Signed, Fiery Fairy."
Dear Spooky Sparky: Perhaps your brother just doesn't realize his importance to the members of your family. Undying devotion from his siblings would undoubtedly aid him in realizing his extreme importance to you. After all, you took the trouble to write about him, he must be important to you. Barring that, get him a girlfriend, preferably one with nice brown hair.
"Dear WWW: I kinda like this girl, but she's really eccentric and I'm really shy. How should I ask her? Signed, Toadstool."
Dear Frog Prince: Take my advice. Grab the bull by the horns, take life by the throat, seize the opportunity, live for moment. Just ask her! The worst she can do is say no, laugh at you, tell all her friends, and you'll probably die of embarrassment.
"Dear WWW: Why do people read these stupid, moronic advice columns? Signed, Dragonfire."
Dear Unfathomable Ferret: Well, you seem to be reading it. Doesn't that make you a moron? You see, some people read this to get a good laugh, or maybe even some advice. Perhaps if you took your head out of the sand, you'd see that some people have real problems and would appreciate my candour on the problems. Not everybody has more money than brains. I have found that wealth and stupidity go well together, and you seem to have a wealth of stupidity.
Thanks again, readers. Until next time, I remain, WWW.
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Please review. If you like, send your own question to "WWW" in your review. We will do our best to answer them. Your penname will be posted next to your question. Please don't be insulted by any of Ron's answers, this is all in good fun. Note: Questions sent to "WWW" should preferably not come from any of the main characters in the books, especially from Ron. Pretend you are the student writing the letter (your penname will be your alias).