Author: Scarlettmarch

Setting: Rory's in Washington, D.C., writing letters to Jess.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gilmore Girls.

A Realization

Rory turned her head to the side and saw Paris's sleeping form and the digital clock in the shape of a cow with big, red numbers on the cow's stomach that told her that it was too late to be last night and too early to be this morning, but the perfect time to be feeling like the loneliest person living.

And a perfect time to be pouring out her heart on paper.

She walked over to the closet and carefully, so as not to drop anything and wake Paris, took out a box from under a heavy stack of library books. She lifted off the cover of the box, which she had neatly covered in words and pictures that she had cut out from magazines when she was ten years old, and was faced with a stack of papers that all had the same thing written in the top left corner.

Dear Jess,

That was it; no more words covered the page. It could be inferred by an observer that the author of these unfinished letters either had a severe case of writer's block or just didn't know what to say to "Jess."

In reality, the sheets of stationery were barren because the writer didn't want to write the words that seemed to spring to mind whenever she wrote his name, and was incapable of writing any other words, words that would have been lies.

So, at this time every day, Rory crept out of her tiny dormitory bed and got out her stationery box, and began letter upon letter to Jess, the sullen, unhappy boy who she had kissed and left. And then, after she had written Dear Jess, a million times at the top of a million different sheets of paper, she crept back into bed and went to sleep in preparation for the day to come, which would consist of her being tormented by thoughts of his smile, his eyes, and the memory of his lips upon hers.

Consumed by an unusual restlessness, the girl grabbed a heavy sweatshirt and quietly tiptoed out of the room and gently closed the door. She seemed surprised at her own actions, sneaking out of the house, or, in this case, a dormitory, was not something that she had ever done or had ever wanted to do before.

She walked to the park and rambled along the path, seemingly alone in this entire expanse of green grass and trees, lit by the softly glowing lanterns hanging at the top of the poles which punctuated every corner and turn of the path.

Under one of the lampposts, Rory saw a bench occupied by a person, or maybe two. As she neared, she realized that it was a girl propped up by the wooden arm at one end of the bench, and in her lap laid the head of a boy who sprawled out across the remainder of the bench. The girl slowly ran her fingers through the boy's hair and gazed at the boy's open eyes. Both seemed to be caught in a trance, and Rory wondered if they even realized what time it was.

Rory started to run, which was something that she hadn't done since that fateful day in June when she had kissed Jess. She realized that she wanted what that couple had, wanted to be in love. Suddenly, she remembered Dean, Dean who loved her and thought that she and he had what that couple in the park had. And maybe, once upon a time, they did have that, but when she never looked into his eyes like that girl; no, Rory always seemed to be looking through him as though he were transparent and someone else was standing in back of him.

And Rory realized that that person standing in back of him was Jess.

So she ran, ran back to her tiny desk upon which laid the open stationery box, and pulled out a clean sheet of paper. She began just as she had all the other nights this summer,

Dear Jess,

But this time, she continued.

*I hoped you like my story, which brings me to the life lesson that I just learned:

When you love somebody, tell them before it's too late.

Until next time,

Gabrielle