Sleep
For Sephroth1Ripley8
01.16.04
Well I could sleep forever, but it's of her I dream.
If I could sleep forever I could forget about everything.
If I could sleep forever...
If I could sleep forever...
If I could sleep forever...
'sleep' - dandy warhols
Sleep is a powerful thing I suppose. One of the symptoms of depression is excessive
time spent
sleeping. Sleep can be a way to hide from one's problems, a way to take
refuge from the waking world.
And the waking world is often not a pretty place. It's not the glittering place that
poets and idealists would have
you believe. I guess it's just not meant for some of us. Heh... a fantasy land,
where nothing is as it seems. A place
where the
rose's thorns are never sharp, and the fragrance is always crushingly beautiful,
just like her perfume.
I don't understand fantasy land.
Never have, and never will... Only when I was with her did I grasp
the smallest fathom of what life could be. Upon taking that first segment into my mouth
I fell in love with life again. I couldn't stop there. I had to have more
and more, taking each juicy segment at once trying to savour it all. But I suppose in my
rush to get it all down before it was snatched away, I overlooked something
kind of important.
She was never mine to have.
Did I do the decent thing and spit it all out? Of course not.
All I ever wanted was to be with her. Is that so much to ask for? Just that disarming
smile, those warm arms and those eyes that could never lie. No, I guess I wanted more than
those things, I wanted what I couldn't have.
We never get what we want. What I wanted -- no, it's just too complicated, and it makes
my head hurt to even try to untangle those things. I'll let that all rest, even while I don't.
Sleep is so much less complicated than love and life, a warm wet blanket that
just lies over the mind like a fog. Even with the nightmares,
it's much preferable to fantasy land.
The nightmares... I guess that's a rather subjective way to say it. Some of my dreams
are so blazingly bright, full of autumn days and the way the light would refract
from her hair. She whispers my name, and it stings my ears like a thousand tiny needles.
It's as I'm if living that life I fought so desperately for all over again.
But... I'm sorry, I am unable. Not with what I learned that day.
Now I know that fantasy land's roses do indeed
decay, and their thorns tear my hands open at the
slightest touch.
I was never meant to be a part of that world.
It's just better this way, for everyone.
And as much as the nightmares sting; as much as they taunt me with their hazy
renditions of unrequited love I have to admit I take a certain sad pleasure in seeing
her again. Even if it's like this, at least I haven't lost her completely.
As long as these visions cloud my mind, I will never lose her. For that I will gladly
suffer those bright days and her brighter eyes.
I could sleep forever...
For Sephroth1Ripley8
01.16.04
Well I could sleep forever, but it's of her I dream.
If I could sleep forever I could forget about everything.
If I could sleep forever...
If I could sleep forever...
If I could sleep forever...
'sleep' - dandy warhols
Sleep is a powerful thing I suppose. One of the symptoms of depression is excessive
time spent
sleeping. Sleep can be a way to hide from one's problems, a way to take
refuge from the waking world.
And the waking world is often not a pretty place. It's not the glittering place that
poets and idealists would have
you believe. I guess it's just not meant for some of us. Heh... a fantasy land,
where nothing is as it seems. A place
where the
rose's thorns are never sharp, and the fragrance is always crushingly beautiful,
just like her perfume.
I don't understand fantasy land.
Never have, and never will... Only when I was with her did I grasp
the smallest fathom of what life could be. Upon taking that first segment into my mouth
I fell in love with life again. I couldn't stop there. I had to have more
and more, taking each juicy segment at once trying to savour it all. But I suppose in my
rush to get it all down before it was snatched away, I overlooked something
kind of important.
She was never mine to have.
Did I do the decent thing and spit it all out? Of course not.
All I ever wanted was to be with her. Is that so much to ask for? Just that disarming
smile, those warm arms and those eyes that could never lie. No, I guess I wanted more than
those things, I wanted what I couldn't have.
We never get what we want. What I wanted -- no, it's just too complicated, and it makes
my head hurt to even try to untangle those things. I'll let that all rest, even while I don't.
Sleep is so much less complicated than love and life, a warm wet blanket that
just lies over the mind like a fog. Even with the nightmares,
it's much preferable to fantasy land.
The nightmares... I guess that's a rather subjective way to say it. Some of my dreams
are so blazingly bright, full of autumn days and the way the light would refract
from her hair. She whispers my name, and it stings my ears like a thousand tiny needles.
It's as I'm if living that life I fought so desperately for all over again.
But... I'm sorry, I am unable. Not with what I learned that day.
Now I know that fantasy land's roses do indeed
decay, and their thorns tear my hands open at the
slightest touch.
I was never meant to be a part of that world.
It's just better this way, for everyone.
And as much as the nightmares sting; as much as they taunt me with their hazy
renditions of unrequited love I have to admit I take a certain sad pleasure in seeing
her again. Even if it's like this, at least I haven't lost her completely.
As long as these visions cloud my mind, I will never lose her. For that I will gladly
suffer those bright days and her brighter eyes.
I could sleep forever...