Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.
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This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ron Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a Ron/Hermione fic. For any readers familiar with the Speaker's Corner on CITY-TV, Ron's responses take the form of those common to the Devil's Advocates.
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WWW.WOW
Wacky Wise Wizard's: Woes of the Week: Issue #7
"Dear W: I finally got to have a date with this one boy that I've been liking since...the first day I met him. Now that we hit it off, and officially a couple, all we do is snog, snog, and snog. We never talk or anything. I'm not complaining that he's not a good kisser, he's very good, in fact, But when we don't snog (which isn't often), he avoids me. Whenever i say 'hi' to him, when we pass by each other in the halls, he just walks straight pass me. Does this mean that he is just using me to get some good snogging? Should I break up with him? Signed, Utterly Perplexed." {from phredtheflyingmonkey}
Dear Beautifully Bewildered: Well let's see, you can't snog and talk at the same time so shut up and kiss. As far as avoiding you, he is probably trying to conceal your snog-fests so as not to damage your wholesome reputation. Redheads have this tendency to protect their girls from innuendo.
"Dear WWW: There's this guy who's an absolute prat. He's annoying, loud, rude, argumentative and lazy. But...I can't help it. I really really like him. I don't know what to do. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can go about getting the prat to notice that I even exist? {from Punkin}
Dear Annoying, Anonymous, and Audacious: This prat, obviously not a redhead, is probably too tired from the important things in life (like Quidditch, chess, and snowball fights) and needs some time to relax. He is not lazy, he is probably overworked and doesn't get enough sleep 'cause his best friend wakes him up every night. If you would listen more he probably wouldn't be so loud either, and rudeness can be attributed to his tired state. Perhaps more understanding from his friends would be better suited here. If you really like him, wear a skimpy outfit and walk over to snog him, that will definitely get his attention.
"Dear W, Why is it that guys never notice that we are girls, until there is some sort of dance or something, and they need dates? We have always been girls, but why do they not notice? {from PureWhiteLilly}
Dear Antagonistic and Anonymous: When else do we need them? Just kidding. Maybe some guys try to be so unsexist that we treat our female friends the same as our male friends, as equals. Since we see them not as male friends, or female friends, just as friends, it takes us time to adjust our thinking to look for dance partners and the like.
"Dear W: Do you have a crush on anyone who happens to have bushy brown hair and begins with H...?" {from angelofboox21}
Dear Outrageous: What makes you think I have a "crush". Those are very immature and unmanly things to deal with. We men have desires and intentions, but never crushes, unless it's the type that deal with what Gryffindor did to Slytherin in the last Quidditch match.
"Dear WWW: I'm trying my hardest to get my boyfriend to notice me. But everytime I try to cuddle with him or snog him or something, he pushes me away. Now, I love him and we are betrothed, but I get the feeling he despises me. What should I do? Signed: Confused Princess Flower" {from ER}
Dear Pretty Plucked Petals: Well now you have a problem don't you? He must be a Slytherin, isn't he? My suggestion is that your beau only wants one thing from you. I'd drop him like a bad habit and find a nicer guy, perhaps one with red hair, to go out with and snog right in front of the old boyfriend. Make sure you don't just use the boy as a snog machine. Take care to keep his feelings in your mind also and don't just use him.
"Dear WWW: Okay, I wasn't sure I could talk to anyone about this so I've decided mabye you could help me out a bit. I like this guy, and I think (but I'm not sure) that he likes me. Except he won't talk to me and it seems like he's avoiding me. I think it has to do with the fact of my older meddling brothers who I think may have come to have a certain "chat" with him although they say they were just visiting me. It doesn't help that they always give him this funny look when they're around. You can can call me paranoid but what should I do about them (my brothers and him) how can I get him to talk and them to walk? HELP!" {from Lilybug}
Dear Lucky Little Lady: My my my, you are so very lucky to have older brothers to help guide you and keep your honour intact. I can only hope other brothers out there will take these guys' example to heart. As far as the boy goes, make sure he is nice to you (that's what your brothers are doing) and that he really is interested in you for more than a snog machine. If the guy can put up with all that from your brothers and still professes undying love for you, then he has passed the challenge. As long as you don't have red hair, you have nothing to worry about.
Results of last week's poll:
Short hair: 2 votes; long hair: 3 votes; medium hair: 6 votes; braided hair: 1 vote. The overwhelming winner with a total of 142 votes: BUSHY BROWN.
Here is this week's poll question:
What is the most attractive eye colour for girls?
A) blue
B) green
C) grey
D) black (i.e. very dark brown)
E) chocolate brown
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WOW so many questions this time. We really had a blast. Thanks to all the reviewers and the questions submitted (notice we put your pen name in bold so we cannot be accused of plagiarism. We like to give credit where credit is due. We also want to thank the reviewers who did not submit questions. Your support (from all but one) makes this much more fun to do. To the person who "did not laugh once", we are sorry you did not find it humorous, but maybe put in some helpful suggestions as to what you might think would improve it. We understand not everyone shares the same sense of humour and mean no offense in our question to you.
Please review. If you like, send your own question to "WWW" in your review. We will do our best to answer them. Your penname will be posted next to your question. Please don't be insulted by any of Ron's answers, this is all in good fun. Note: Questions sent to "WWW" should preferably not come from any of the main characters in the books, especially from Ron. Pretend you are the student writing the letter (your penname will be your alias). PLEASE do not be offended by anything you see between the dotted lines, that is Ron speaking. We only write what we believe he would say.