This is the longest story in the Rodent saga. It is six parts, and it is rather dated. Hey, Super ninetendo was hot at the time. Anyway, if you do not find this one funny, it definately is weird. You learn more about dalek culture than you ever wanted to! Hey! This story reveals the truth of dalek reproduction. It is in the process of being retyped, so be patient.
Holiday on Skaro Part One
I have always found the Rodent to be a most interesting Time Lady to say the least. She has often proved to be quite embarrassing to both Miriel and myself. I do not think that Miriel deserves such a fate, but she only smiles and shakes her head at the Rodent's foolishness and strange logic. Me, well. I deserve whatever happens to me, because of my disgraceful existence. If I hadn't gotten myself into such a mess, the sontarans would not have wanted my blood, thus the Rodent would not have rescued me. I would not have met the Rodent, Mikey, K-9, nor Miriel. I do not regret any of their acquaintances, and my own sorted past means nothing to them. The two females, who seem to be the only ones with any worries to my dietary needs, seem to be more than a little friendly with me. In the case of Miriel it hurts all the more, because the feelings are returned to her. If things had been different, I would have happily considered her for my wife. What is done is done, and even with the capacity of a time machine, I could not change my present state, even if I could convince the Rodent to help me. She probably would help me, at that. What are the laws of time to her? What is any law to her. She breaks the laws of Gallifrey by allowing me to exist. I think she would break the law about going back in time and changing one's past just to show how rebellious she is. It is a pleasant but implausible thought. It would make no difference. I was a blind stubborn 21 year old, who knew it all.
Enough of my troubles. I must to my story at hand. Mikey, my gracious host's amazing dalek companion, wanted to go home. He was the strangest dalek I ever encountered. I'll admit that I know little to nothing about mechanical beings, even those with living tissue and blood. I have seen, observed, and been blasted a few times by these mechanical beings. I have often tried to foil their plans, but more times than not, I have been foiled. My life may be practically inextinguishable, but it hurts all the same to see others die around me or be forced into miserable slavery without hope or tortured in the course of dalek experiments or just tortured for the sheer pleasure of the dalek masters. Death is an inevitable part of life. Even I will eventually die. It still hurts to see other needlessly die after so few years. It makes my own sins against life seem less horrendous. It doesn't excuse me.
If the Rodent is an embarrassment, then Mikey can outdo her. anyday. Maybe it is his competitive nature or just plainly his reprogramming. It is hard to say. How could I describe Mikey . . . a hyper most aggressive mischievous four year old, and K-9 doesn't help matters any. Mikey is partially organic, so he has something resembling an excuse. K-9 is completely mechanical. What do I know of illogical state of computerized beings? My specialty is chemistry.
Mikey had hoped to join the daleks, who had acquired the "Humanoid" element from the Doctor and his companions some years ago. These daleks were not the emotionless calculating beings I had always encountered. Of course, I never really thought of the daleks being devoid of emotions. The daleks I always have met have been a bit on the hysterical and malicious side. These are emotions no matter what the Rodent might say about computerized mechanical beings. Whenever she goes on her superior technological jargon, I just throw up my hands and give in. For all my centuries of existence, I have managed to avoid acquiring a technological intelligence. Although I have traveled in many space crafts and seen many advanced cultures, I have always remained in the dark about such workings. Somehow I think if I give in and learn, I will lose being who I was. Besides, it is not in the nature of my state of being to accept change, and the Rodent won't believe me that it is the nature of a normal dalek to be violent and sadistic, because it is in their blood to be this way.
These daleks the Doctor had changed had the element of a conscience, because they shared elements of the Doctor's and Jaime's blood. Few of these daleks remained. Many races, including the daleks, felt that they no longer existed or never in the first place. Mikey was determined that thhtey still lived on Skaro. He had a few scuffles with renegade daleks during his patrols for the Emperor. Daleks had not believed his reports, and the acts of sabotage was always blamed on the pesty thals, who persistently lives on Skaro, no matter how hard the daleks tried to exterminiate them.
Mikey tried to explian the inherent hatred beteween the daleks and the thals to me. This hatred had began bedore the daleks were mutated into their present form, and the hatred had continued thousand of years before that. It started even before the kaleds, the daleks before mutation, and the thals were separated into two different races. Mikey did not did know nor did he care why the two races split, nor did he truly know why they were at war with each other. Trust me, just because a faction of the inhabitants were called the thals was not sufficient enough reason for me to believe that the two races would still strive to kill each other. The reason was forever lost to time like the sad story of the two lovers from two feuding families, who couldn't remember what they were feuding about. I never understood why these people could not enjoy what little life they had.
Mikey had hoped to bring forth his grand idea to break into the computers of the dalek headquarters. There he would set forth a program that would convince the Emperor Dalek and his daleks to accept the humanoid factor as an advantage over the often raiding genocidal daleks of Davros. (Davros is a whole different story that I don't get either!) Since the normal dalek did everything the computer tells him, this program's directive would be accepted and met without questions to the effect of "Haven't we been here before?" (Another thought over my head) Think about it. The more advanced the culture, the more they depend upon computers. So, all you need is some program, that a half way descent programmer can come up with, and you can bugger their whole world. Frightening, is it not? What is more frightening for the daleks and us is the computers that came up with this program. I know little to nothing about computers, as I have somewhat mentioned before, but somehow I would not trust anything that came from the combined efforts of a computer that does not understand coordinates (George), a robotic dog that can't figure out back from front (K-9), and a pretty happy dalek with a thing for WD-40 (Mikey)!
After many unsuccessful attempts for Skaro, George finally landed us there after several interesting stops and misadventures better left untold. Somehow, traveling to the biggest carnival in the galaxy and have fend for our freedom from the freak show attendant was not my idea of fun nor was it the type of adventure I would like to relate to a group. In another adventure, we landed in a medieval world. The people were a bit shy of us, and the Rodent smiled brightly and assured them that I didn't bite! She does a lot for the hiding of my nature, and she is most fortunate that I have a code of honor. Somehow, through so many interchanges and displays, we were accused of witchcraft. Somehow my idea of fun did not include being burned at the stake! I know not whether or not it would kill me, but I knew I didn't want to find out. Between my actual efforts to save the girls and myself and the chaos, that Mikey and K-9 ensued, we managed to escape unscathed. I often wonder what folktales would be created after that misadventure to scare the children.
Anyway, we landed on Skaro this time. The Rodent exclaimed cheerfully, "Here we are on Skaro!" like she did the last thirty five times, "You all slip into your skimpy bathing suits, because it's a scorcher out there!" She eyed me and continued "And I have some sunscreen 99 for you, my boy!"
Somehow she was not convinced that direct sunlight did not bother me, and the 'my boy bit was most inappropriate since I have several centuries on her. It was no use in telling her this. She rummaged through her several cupboards and drawers along the wall of the TARDIS. It was amazing the amount of stuff that went flying by. Miriel only shook her head, as great splatches of staining substances smeared and dripped across the walls and the floors of the TARDIS. The moldy fast food restaurant bag, that appeared out of one of the drawers, did little for my stomach, and I do not digest human food! It continued to move after it was discarded against the far wall. Miriel calmly took a broom and beat the squishy substance out of it! After a couple of hours search, that left the TARDIS devastated and Miriel in a cleaning frenzy, the Rodent slumped dejectedly across the counter. Suddenly, she stood up with a bright smile.
"Rassilon!" she called into one of the luminous pockets of her dirty torn jacket. Now, if you know anything about Time Lords and their society, you'd figure that she had lost her marbles . . . that is if you didn't know her and knew she had no marbles to start with! Rassilon was one of the greatest Time Lords in Gallifrey's history, according to the Gallifreyians, but that Rassilon and the Rodent's Rassilon were two totally different beings! Although I will say this much, they were both more intelligent than the Rodent.
"What!" cried out a squeaky irritated voice. A tan rat's head with beady purple eyes followed by a tan and white body came out of her pocket. Now, how and where the Rodent came up with a talking rat was beyond me. I ceased to ask such questions long ago.
"Where's the radiation pills?" she asked.
The rat pulled back its head and gave a disgusted snuff. "What do I look like? Your pharmacist?"
"Ras! Don't argue! Where else would you find a more prosperous pocket for your rat hole?"
"Hmpf!" he snorted. he dove back into her pocket. After a few minutes he returned with a bottle of pills. The Rodent struggled with the safety proof lid. Finally, she put it on the counter, found a large hammer, and smashed opened the bottle. She salvaged through the broken plastic. All the pills I have ever seen were an oval shape and a dull color. These pills were in the shape of people in bright colors. "These aren't the radiation pills!" she cried out, as she popped a couple of them in her mouth. "These are my vitamins!"
The rat returned with another bottle. The Rodent looked the bottle over curiously. "Much better," she said. She poured a couple of pills into Miriel's hand. She herself took one. She looked at me and offered the bottle.
"Does radiation bother you?"
I shrugged. "What's the worst thing that can happen? I'll die?"
"Oh, but you can't up and die on us! That would leave K-9 and Mikey to rescue the ladies fair, and that's against Mikey's code of ethics!"
I looked at both the women before me. Both were dark haired and tan skinned. Miriel had gotten dark from all the exposure to the suns that we have had of late. I smiled. "Neither of you are fair, and only one of you is a lady."
"Now, that's not way to talk about Miriel!" she reprimanded.
"That's not the one I was referring to as lacking ladyship," I mumbled under my breath.
She forced several of the pills into my hand. She opened the TARDIS door and strolled out singing off key "What a Beautiful Day on Skaro".
Miriel looked at me and shrugged. With a smile, she followed our glorious leader. I followed Miriel, and K-9 followed Mikey and me at the rear with his rear first . . . as normal. We stepped out onto the barren desert plains beside an old fashion dirty refrigerator. The TARDIS had the strangest ideas of disguises. Somehow, we would have been most surprised and more worried if it had become a big pile of sand or a cactus.
Looking around, I saw to the west under the boiling sun, a vast metallic city. By my judgment, it stood some fifty miles away. To the north east was a woodland of strangely twisted trees. This forest was some thirty miles away, and it stretched a good many miles across the horizon to the north and away from the great metal city. To the south west were the signs of a ruined stone city and desert beyond. To the north west were great bare hills in the far distance across the desert. These hills were in the far reaches of my vision. To the south eat lay a gray woodland. It had the bleached appearance of being made of stone. This gray woodland stretched into the twisted woodland to the north.
Mikey spun his head around in a full circle. "HOME AT LAST!" he exclaimed.
"Alright, Mikey, which way?" the Rodent asked as she put on her mirror sunglasses.
"THE THALS LIVE BEYOND THE WOODLAND. THE DALEKS LIVE IN THE METAL CITY."
"I think we could have figured that one out on our own," I commented.
"That leaves the hills and the petrified forest," the Rodent said.
"I SAY WE GO TO THE HILLS," Mikey answered, "THE GREAT HORROR LIVES IN THE PETRIFIED FOREST. NO DALEK OR THAL GOES THERE."
So, it sounds like fun!"
I shook my head. "I don't think that wise," I answered, "Probably the woods would be a better place to start, since what I understand of the thals, they are humanoid. Three out of five of us fit that description, and K-9 is not a race at war with the thals."
But we are in co-hoots with a dalek," she pointed out, "That means we're target practice!"
"THE PETRIFIED FOREST CONTAINS MONSTERS." Mikey explained, "THEY WERE MUTATED FROM THE ANIMALS THAT ONCE LIVED HERE THE RADIATION CHANGED THEM IN STRANGE WAYS. THE MUTATION CONTINUES GENERATION AFTER GENERATION. THEY BECOME MORE POWERFUL. DALEK BLASTS DON'T HARM THEM. THEY ARE LEAD BY THE GREAT HORROR. IT IS THE GREATEST OF MUTATIONS."
"Ah, but they haven't tried my cooking!" the Rodent exclaimed.
Mikey, Miriel, and I looked at her strangely. K-9 wagged his tail. Miriel bent down and petted the mechanical dog on the head. "You are more clueless than I am," she said softly. K-9 wagged his tail more fiercely.
"THESE MUTATIONS DO NOT STRAY INTO THE CITY. THEY STAY IN THE WOODS. DALEKS ARE CONTENT."
"Can't kill them, ignore them," prompted the Rodent.
"THEY DO NOT EXIST," corrected Mikey.
Somehow I thought that would come up. "THE HILLS FOR ME," Mikey said, "THE REBEL DALEKS WILL BE THERE."
"But you are suspected to be a regular dalek," the Rodent protested.
"THEY WOULD THINK ME A THAL IN DALEK CASING," Mikey answered, "THE THALS HAVE PENETRATED DALEK HEADQUARTERS THIS WAY."
"Why not have the Rodent and me seek out the thals and talk to them," Miriel suggested, "Alandis and Mikey can stay at the TARDIS until we make contact. We bring K-9 with us to make out the computer program for them,"
"I WILL NOT HAVE INFERIOR HUMANOIDS DOING MY WORK!" Mikey complained.
The Rodent smiled. "It is best that your superior self be protected while the humanoid pawns clear the way." The Rodent had many flaws, and she was dizzy to say the very least, but she always knew how to talk to Mikey. A talent that most humanoids lacked.
The Rodent went back into the TARDIS. We heard several chunks ad crashed. Miriel cringed at the sound. She worried about cleaning the mess when she got back, and the Rodent knew her well enough to know this. After a half an hour of destructive noises, she rejoined us with a motor scooter. The mechanical dog continued to wag its tail.
She looked at me. "If we aren't back by tomorrow morning, come and join the party," she exclaimed. She offered Miriel a seat and glanced at K-9. "Ready for a ride?" she asked cheerfully.
An electronic belch filled the air. "I thought so," answered the Rodent.
She revved up the motor bike and was off like a shot.
I looked at Mikey and shrugged. We returned to the TARDIS to wait out the sunrise of the next day, or at least a couple of hours. Mikey called up a program on the TARDIS computer. Apparently, George and Mikey were playing a game that entailed running down pedestrians with a vehicle. Mikey said several words in dalekian, that made me glad that the girls were not here to hear. The Rodent didn't need to add anything to her sorted vocabulary.
I don't know why I bothered to waste my time on such a frivolous activity. George was winning, I believe. I got this distinct feeling when a large smoking hole appeared in the screen. I shook my head and decided I had best seek out sustenance.
After three hours, I decided that the Rodent, Miriel, and K-9 had sufficiently found trouble, and they were up to their eyebrows in it by now. Pulling Mikey away from the diligent repair of the TARDIS monitor, I learned even more dalekian swear words, especially since his laser gun had no effect upon me. I glared at him.
"I have been through worse," I answered, "We must rescue the Rodent, Miriel, and K-9."
"WHY?"
K-9 is a good friend of yours."
"WHAT IS AN INFERIOR COMPUTER TO THE DALEKS?"
"The Rodent gets WD-40 for you."
"I AM LEAVING THE RODENT. DALEKS WILL CREATE THEIR OWN WD-40."
"I like Miriel. You will help me save Miriel. Why? you ask, because I have more brute force than you. Your gun has no effect upon me. You will obey me, or you will be a big green slimy stain on the TARDIS wall."
"I AM A DALEK. I OBEY NO INFERIOR RACE."
I glared at him. The eyestalk dilated and met my challenge. We stood this way for a good fifteen minutes, until I decided this was useless and wasting my time. I got bored and said, "I'll split you my next kill."
"IT'S A BIT DRY."
"Since when do you care? I thought anything that would eat frozen Big Macs would was not that finicky."
"I DID NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING FOR THAT ONE."
"So, my kills are better than cooked Big Macs."
"YOU WANT ME TO GIVE UP CHALLENGING THIS INFERIOR COMPUTER AT DEATH RACE TO SAVE K-9, THE RODENT, AND MIRIEL JUST FOR YOUR DRY LEFTOVERS?"
"Okay, with anti-freeze and WD-40 poured over the top of it."
Mikey remained silent. Finally, his eyestalk looked up, and he chirped, "ALRIGHT."
So, after much argument about the mode of transport and payments for services rendered, I ended up holding tightly to Mikey's casing, and I planted my feet firmly on the platform of his metal skirt. It was times like these that I really wished I knew something of that skill called driving. Unlike other daleks that I have encountered, Mikey had more speed than any of the mechanical menace that I have ever encountered. We took off like a shot. After a couple of seconds, I adjusted to the harrowing speed. This I could handle. It was the drop from the 500 miles per hour to zero in less than a quarter of a second that did not go over too well. The heavy tree breaking stop took me a little while to get over. I will have to learn how to drive!
I managed to gather my scattered wits, broken bones, and other problems. Some of the attributes of my state of being are quite useful at times. During the hour that it took my dazed healing process to finish, I could swear that I heard mechanical laughter. When I looked up from the staring eyestalk from my position in the grass, I swear that I could detect a self satisfied grin from my companion. I quietly composed myself. I pulled myself up from the ground and firmly kicked Mikey's dalek can.
"YOU ARE FORTUNATE THAT YOU DID NOT DENT MY CASING! WARS HAVE BEEN FOUGHT OVER LESS!" grated his harsh voice.
"I've told you before I am not afraid of you and your threats," I answered.
"I HAVE TRIED TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL OF DEATH, AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME!"
I knew there was no point in arguing with him about dying in honor. So, I let it pass. I sought out my companions' track. Since the Rodent, Miriel, and K-9 made no effort to hide their tracks, they were easy enough to find along with the motor scooter, that was heavily chained to a tree. We managed to avoid multiple nasty traps. Knowing the leadership and the experience of the other party. I wondered how they managed to escape these traps. I knew them not dead, because their tracks continued through the woods. Mikey was insistent that I go first through the woods, and he followed at a fair distance behind me. The first round of explosives scared me tremendously, and especially for the fate of our female companions. The thought of the loss of Miriel devastated me, and the thought of without the Rodent, I was likely to be stranded on a planet full of daleks like Mikey. It was more than I could take. Mikey trundled along without caring. My presence on this planet would not bother him near as bad as it would me being stuck here!
After a while, Mikey recognized the traps, and he showed off his marksdakekship to me. Not only did he blast the traps, he blasted small furry animals and not so small and not so furry animals and anything else that moved or otherwise.
I shook my head. "That gun had better be on stun," I complained.
"AND WHAT if it is not?"
"There is no need to kill these creatures needlessly."
"WHAT ARE THEIR MENIAL LIVES AGAINST THE ENTERTAINMENT OF THE SUPERIOR DALEK RACE?"
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned on him. I stood my ground and prepared my farewell speech to say to my irritating companion, but he cut me off.
HUMANOIDS ARE SO PECULIAR. YOUR VAMPIRE RACE HAS DESTROYED PLANETS WITHOUT A THOUGHT, WHAT MAKES THAT DIFFERENT THAN MY TARGET PRACTICE?"
I sighed and drooped my shoulders. He had a point. The vast destruction was not necessary for our existence. Is this not why I have tried to do penitence the last couple of centuries?
His eyestalk turned to me in my silent defeat. "BESIDES," he said, "DOES MY LASER HAVE ANY OTHER SETTING BESIDES STUN?"
I looked at him. My darkness passed. "You may fool the Rodent, but I know you better. For all your flaws, you are still a dalek. That laser would be the first thing on your agenda to fix."
"I HAVE NO FLAWS, BECAUSE I AM A DALEK."
"Hush!" I hissed. I heard movement in the woods. The sense of humanoids filled my being in a none too positive way. For all my years of discipline of control, I have never been able to overcome that basic instinct. Mikey made no argument of the order I gave him, because he became sorely aware of danger also.
Mikey turned his eyestalk around and scanned the woodland. The gun post turned around next. I hopped behind my companion to avoid the blast. The blue laser split the air, and I turned and fell face forward into Mikey's casing. I slid to the ground. I was getting tired of getting wounded so many times in the course of this story. As I lost consciousness and laid face down in the mud bleeding, two thoughts occurred to me. I knew my female companions had to be elbow deep in trouble, because stun blasts only threw me somewhat. The blast was meant to kill me. The other thought was at this rate, I would have to replenish my sustenance sooner than I expected. This was irritating to me, because when starved, I am much more violent than I mean to be, and I really did not want to feed in front of Mikey.
When I did wake, I found Mikey totally immobilized and booby trapped. How many blasts hits me? Mikey's gun and plunger were broken along with his eyestalk. A large pack of explosives was strapped around his casing. There was scrawling of foreign words and letters spray painted all over him. I believe I had my first lesson in thalian. And the words I just learned just matched what I learned from Mikey. Now I was vocabularily equipped for a barroom brawl anywhere on Skaro! I'm so thrilled. I rubbed my sore head and tried to clear my thinking. I looked over Mikey's booby traps thoroughly, and I realized that there was no way that I could safely undo it, and I could hear the tick of the timer.
I accessed the locking devise the thals had put on Mikey's lid. It was simple and not connected to the explosives. I was left for dead . . . they had zapped me enough to kill a Allurian weremoose! (Trust me, they are a hardy creature!) They apparently felt that no other creature, including other daleks, would try and rescue him. I easily broke the lock. Quickly, I pulled out the green blob of squirming tentacles from the mechanism and ran further into the woods with my slimy bundle.
The explosion caused the ground to shake and a bright light lit the woods around me. I was thrown to the ground. I can happily tolerate the bright sunlight and do some roaming about in daylight hours, but I am still a nocturnal creature with the frailties of creatures of night. I was blinded by the flash. Luckily for Mikey, I was a light weight creature, since he was under my bulk.
There was a good reason for dalek casing. The organic being that was Mikey was rather a frail jellyfish like creature, who would be at a disadvantage in any war. Extreme temperatures would do no good. A sunburn to his thin skin could be a truly harrowing experience. If I had wanted to kill Mikey, this would have been my perfect opportunity, as much as we argued and he irritated me, I never truly had the desire to kill him. Besides, I had just rescued him! I felt tentacles crawl from under me and over my back as I lay face down in the mud. I lifted myself up and touched the bulk on my back. "Mikey?" I inquired.
I go no response. The tentacles tightened around my shoulders. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up. Still no light came to my eyes. I stood up. My head swirled and I unceremoniously sat back down with a thump. I wiped the mud from my face with a cleaner part of my sleeve. My sight still struggled to return. My ears perked at the sound of approaching feet. "Mikey! We're in trouble!" The tentacles squeezed my arms slightly. I heard a squealy unintelligible voice in my ear. I felt fine sharp teeth in my shoulder. I gave a frail smarmy smile. "Whatever you are thinking, my friend, remember what I am. To bite me would not be a good idea. There is no telling what my blood will do to you. Besides, that will not motivate me out of my inability."
I heard a disgusted squeal and gurgle. I moved my hands to a tree and pulled myself up. I continued to blink my eyes, but to no avail. I took a deep breath and allowed my other sense guide me. My state of existence allowed my sense to heighten plus I acquired a few more. I not only could hear the approach of footfalls, but I could feel their souls and the movement of their blood as well. I prepared myself. I sorted the feel of the tree around me. With another deep breath, I made a run for it. My aim was off. I ran into a couple of trees before I gave up the idea. My existence did not call for hunting and feeding off of trees after all. I have never been blinded before, and no matter my age and multiple skills, I knew I would not be able to escape them this way. So, it was time to climb a tree. Mikey made frantic remarks. I think the great superior being of the supreme race of the universe was afraid of heights! I hushed him. I could hear the thals on the ground below. I cringed up in the thick leaves and hoped they didn't look up.
........................to be continued......................
Holiday on Skaro Part One
I have always found the Rodent to be a most interesting Time Lady to say the least. She has often proved to be quite embarrassing to both Miriel and myself. I do not think that Miriel deserves such a fate, but she only smiles and shakes her head at the Rodent's foolishness and strange logic. Me, well. I deserve whatever happens to me, because of my disgraceful existence. If I hadn't gotten myself into such a mess, the sontarans would not have wanted my blood, thus the Rodent would not have rescued me. I would not have met the Rodent, Mikey, K-9, nor Miriel. I do not regret any of their acquaintances, and my own sorted past means nothing to them. The two females, who seem to be the only ones with any worries to my dietary needs, seem to be more than a little friendly with me. In the case of Miriel it hurts all the more, because the feelings are returned to her. If things had been different, I would have happily considered her for my wife. What is done is done, and even with the capacity of a time machine, I could not change my present state, even if I could convince the Rodent to help me. She probably would help me, at that. What are the laws of time to her? What is any law to her. She breaks the laws of Gallifrey by allowing me to exist. I think she would break the law about going back in time and changing one's past just to show how rebellious she is. It is a pleasant but implausible thought. It would make no difference. I was a blind stubborn 21 year old, who knew it all.
Enough of my troubles. I must to my story at hand. Mikey, my gracious host's amazing dalek companion, wanted to go home. He was the strangest dalek I ever encountered. I'll admit that I know little to nothing about mechanical beings, even those with living tissue and blood. I have seen, observed, and been blasted a few times by these mechanical beings. I have often tried to foil their plans, but more times than not, I have been foiled. My life may be practically inextinguishable, but it hurts all the same to see others die around me or be forced into miserable slavery without hope or tortured in the course of dalek experiments or just tortured for the sheer pleasure of the dalek masters. Death is an inevitable part of life. Even I will eventually die. It still hurts to see other needlessly die after so few years. It makes my own sins against life seem less horrendous. It doesn't excuse me.
If the Rodent is an embarrassment, then Mikey can outdo her. anyday. Maybe it is his competitive nature or just plainly his reprogramming. It is hard to say. How could I describe Mikey . . . a hyper most aggressive mischievous four year old, and K-9 doesn't help matters any. Mikey is partially organic, so he has something resembling an excuse. K-9 is completely mechanical. What do I know of illogical state of computerized beings? My specialty is chemistry.
Mikey had hoped to join the daleks, who had acquired the "Humanoid" element from the Doctor and his companions some years ago. These daleks were not the emotionless calculating beings I had always encountered. Of course, I never really thought of the daleks being devoid of emotions. The daleks I always have met have been a bit on the hysterical and malicious side. These are emotions no matter what the Rodent might say about computerized mechanical beings. Whenever she goes on her superior technological jargon, I just throw up my hands and give in. For all my centuries of existence, I have managed to avoid acquiring a technological intelligence. Although I have traveled in many space crafts and seen many advanced cultures, I have always remained in the dark about such workings. Somehow I think if I give in and learn, I will lose being who I was. Besides, it is not in the nature of my state of being to accept change, and the Rodent won't believe me that it is the nature of a normal dalek to be violent and sadistic, because it is in their blood to be this way.
These daleks the Doctor had changed had the element of a conscience, because they shared elements of the Doctor's and Jaime's blood. Few of these daleks remained. Many races, including the daleks, felt that they no longer existed or never in the first place. Mikey was determined that thhtey still lived on Skaro. He had a few scuffles with renegade daleks during his patrols for the Emperor. Daleks had not believed his reports, and the acts of sabotage was always blamed on the pesty thals, who persistently lives on Skaro, no matter how hard the daleks tried to exterminiate them.
Mikey tried to explian the inherent hatred beteween the daleks and the thals to me. This hatred had began bedore the daleks were mutated into their present form, and the hatred had continued thousand of years before that. It started even before the kaleds, the daleks before mutation, and the thals were separated into two different races. Mikey did not did know nor did he care why the two races split, nor did he truly know why they were at war with each other. Trust me, just because a faction of the inhabitants were called the thals was not sufficient enough reason for me to believe that the two races would still strive to kill each other. The reason was forever lost to time like the sad story of the two lovers from two feuding families, who couldn't remember what they were feuding about. I never understood why these people could not enjoy what little life they had.
Mikey had hoped to bring forth his grand idea to break into the computers of the dalek headquarters. There he would set forth a program that would convince the Emperor Dalek and his daleks to accept the humanoid factor as an advantage over the often raiding genocidal daleks of Davros. (Davros is a whole different story that I don't get either!) Since the normal dalek did everything the computer tells him, this program's directive would be accepted and met without questions to the effect of "Haven't we been here before?" (Another thought over my head) Think about it. The more advanced the culture, the more they depend upon computers. So, all you need is some program, that a half way descent programmer can come up with, and you can bugger their whole world. Frightening, is it not? What is more frightening for the daleks and us is the computers that came up with this program. I know little to nothing about computers, as I have somewhat mentioned before, but somehow I would not trust anything that came from the combined efforts of a computer that does not understand coordinates (George), a robotic dog that can't figure out back from front (K-9), and a pretty happy dalek with a thing for WD-40 (Mikey)!
After many unsuccessful attempts for Skaro, George finally landed us there after several interesting stops and misadventures better left untold. Somehow, traveling to the biggest carnival in the galaxy and have fend for our freedom from the freak show attendant was not my idea of fun nor was it the type of adventure I would like to relate to a group. In another adventure, we landed in a medieval world. The people were a bit shy of us, and the Rodent smiled brightly and assured them that I didn't bite! She does a lot for the hiding of my nature, and she is most fortunate that I have a code of honor. Somehow, through so many interchanges and displays, we were accused of witchcraft. Somehow my idea of fun did not include being burned at the stake! I know not whether or not it would kill me, but I knew I didn't want to find out. Between my actual efforts to save the girls and myself and the chaos, that Mikey and K-9 ensued, we managed to escape unscathed. I often wonder what folktales would be created after that misadventure to scare the children.
Anyway, we landed on Skaro this time. The Rodent exclaimed cheerfully, "Here we are on Skaro!" like she did the last thirty five times, "You all slip into your skimpy bathing suits, because it's a scorcher out there!" She eyed me and continued "And I have some sunscreen 99 for you, my boy!"
Somehow she was not convinced that direct sunlight did not bother me, and the 'my boy bit was most inappropriate since I have several centuries on her. It was no use in telling her this. She rummaged through her several cupboards and drawers along the wall of the TARDIS. It was amazing the amount of stuff that went flying by. Miriel only shook her head, as great splatches of staining substances smeared and dripped across the walls and the floors of the TARDIS. The moldy fast food restaurant bag, that appeared out of one of the drawers, did little for my stomach, and I do not digest human food! It continued to move after it was discarded against the far wall. Miriel calmly took a broom and beat the squishy substance out of it! After a couple of hours search, that left the TARDIS devastated and Miriel in a cleaning frenzy, the Rodent slumped dejectedly across the counter. Suddenly, she stood up with a bright smile.
"Rassilon!" she called into one of the luminous pockets of her dirty torn jacket. Now, if you know anything about Time Lords and their society, you'd figure that she had lost her marbles . . . that is if you didn't know her and knew she had no marbles to start with! Rassilon was one of the greatest Time Lords in Gallifrey's history, according to the Gallifreyians, but that Rassilon and the Rodent's Rassilon were two totally different beings! Although I will say this much, they were both more intelligent than the Rodent.
"What!" cried out a squeaky irritated voice. A tan rat's head with beady purple eyes followed by a tan and white body came out of her pocket. Now, how and where the Rodent came up with a talking rat was beyond me. I ceased to ask such questions long ago.
"Where's the radiation pills?" she asked.
The rat pulled back its head and gave a disgusted snuff. "What do I look like? Your pharmacist?"
"Ras! Don't argue! Where else would you find a more prosperous pocket for your rat hole?"
"Hmpf!" he snorted. he dove back into her pocket. After a few minutes he returned with a bottle of pills. The Rodent struggled with the safety proof lid. Finally, she put it on the counter, found a large hammer, and smashed opened the bottle. She salvaged through the broken plastic. All the pills I have ever seen were an oval shape and a dull color. These pills were in the shape of people in bright colors. "These aren't the radiation pills!" she cried out, as she popped a couple of them in her mouth. "These are my vitamins!"
The rat returned with another bottle. The Rodent looked the bottle over curiously. "Much better," she said. She poured a couple of pills into Miriel's hand. She herself took one. She looked at me and offered the bottle.
"Does radiation bother you?"
I shrugged. "What's the worst thing that can happen? I'll die?"
"Oh, but you can't up and die on us! That would leave K-9 and Mikey to rescue the ladies fair, and that's against Mikey's code of ethics!"
I looked at both the women before me. Both were dark haired and tan skinned. Miriel had gotten dark from all the exposure to the suns that we have had of late. I smiled. "Neither of you are fair, and only one of you is a lady."
"Now, that's not way to talk about Miriel!" she reprimanded.
"That's not the one I was referring to as lacking ladyship," I mumbled under my breath.
She forced several of the pills into my hand. She opened the TARDIS door and strolled out singing off key "What a Beautiful Day on Skaro".
Miriel looked at me and shrugged. With a smile, she followed our glorious leader. I followed Miriel, and K-9 followed Mikey and me at the rear with his rear first . . . as normal. We stepped out onto the barren desert plains beside an old fashion dirty refrigerator. The TARDIS had the strangest ideas of disguises. Somehow, we would have been most surprised and more worried if it had become a big pile of sand or a cactus.
Looking around, I saw to the west under the boiling sun, a vast metallic city. By my judgment, it stood some fifty miles away. To the north east was a woodland of strangely twisted trees. This forest was some thirty miles away, and it stretched a good many miles across the horizon to the north and away from the great metal city. To the south west were the signs of a ruined stone city and desert beyond. To the north west were great bare hills in the far distance across the desert. These hills were in the far reaches of my vision. To the south eat lay a gray woodland. It had the bleached appearance of being made of stone. This gray woodland stretched into the twisted woodland to the north.
Mikey spun his head around in a full circle. "HOME AT LAST!" he exclaimed.
"Alright, Mikey, which way?" the Rodent asked as she put on her mirror sunglasses.
"THE THALS LIVE BEYOND THE WOODLAND. THE DALEKS LIVE IN THE METAL CITY."
"I think we could have figured that one out on our own," I commented.
"That leaves the hills and the petrified forest," the Rodent said.
"I SAY WE GO TO THE HILLS," Mikey answered, "THE GREAT HORROR LIVES IN THE PETRIFIED FOREST. NO DALEK OR THAL GOES THERE."
So, it sounds like fun!"
I shook my head. "I don't think that wise," I answered, "Probably the woods would be a better place to start, since what I understand of the thals, they are humanoid. Three out of five of us fit that description, and K-9 is not a race at war with the thals."
But we are in co-hoots with a dalek," she pointed out, "That means we're target practice!"
"THE PETRIFIED FOREST CONTAINS MONSTERS." Mikey explained, "THEY WERE MUTATED FROM THE ANIMALS THAT ONCE LIVED HERE THE RADIATION CHANGED THEM IN STRANGE WAYS. THE MUTATION CONTINUES GENERATION AFTER GENERATION. THEY BECOME MORE POWERFUL. DALEK BLASTS DON'T HARM THEM. THEY ARE LEAD BY THE GREAT HORROR. IT IS THE GREATEST OF MUTATIONS."
"Ah, but they haven't tried my cooking!" the Rodent exclaimed.
Mikey, Miriel, and I looked at her strangely. K-9 wagged his tail. Miriel bent down and petted the mechanical dog on the head. "You are more clueless than I am," she said softly. K-9 wagged his tail more fiercely.
"THESE MUTATIONS DO NOT STRAY INTO THE CITY. THEY STAY IN THE WOODS. DALEKS ARE CONTENT."
"Can't kill them, ignore them," prompted the Rodent.
"THEY DO NOT EXIST," corrected Mikey.
Somehow I thought that would come up. "THE HILLS FOR ME," Mikey said, "THE REBEL DALEKS WILL BE THERE."
"But you are suspected to be a regular dalek," the Rodent protested.
"THEY WOULD THINK ME A THAL IN DALEK CASING," Mikey answered, "THE THALS HAVE PENETRATED DALEK HEADQUARTERS THIS WAY."
"Why not have the Rodent and me seek out the thals and talk to them," Miriel suggested, "Alandis and Mikey can stay at the TARDIS until we make contact. We bring K-9 with us to make out the computer program for them,"
"I WILL NOT HAVE INFERIOR HUMANOIDS DOING MY WORK!" Mikey complained.
The Rodent smiled. "It is best that your superior self be protected while the humanoid pawns clear the way." The Rodent had many flaws, and she was dizzy to say the very least, but she always knew how to talk to Mikey. A talent that most humanoids lacked.
The Rodent went back into the TARDIS. We heard several chunks ad crashed. Miriel cringed at the sound. She worried about cleaning the mess when she got back, and the Rodent knew her well enough to know this. After a half an hour of destructive noises, she rejoined us with a motor scooter. The mechanical dog continued to wag its tail.
She looked at me. "If we aren't back by tomorrow morning, come and join the party," she exclaimed. She offered Miriel a seat and glanced at K-9. "Ready for a ride?" she asked cheerfully.
An electronic belch filled the air. "I thought so," answered the Rodent.
She revved up the motor bike and was off like a shot.
I looked at Mikey and shrugged. We returned to the TARDIS to wait out the sunrise of the next day, or at least a couple of hours. Mikey called up a program on the TARDIS computer. Apparently, George and Mikey were playing a game that entailed running down pedestrians with a vehicle. Mikey said several words in dalekian, that made me glad that the girls were not here to hear. The Rodent didn't need to add anything to her sorted vocabulary.
I don't know why I bothered to waste my time on such a frivolous activity. George was winning, I believe. I got this distinct feeling when a large smoking hole appeared in the screen. I shook my head and decided I had best seek out sustenance.
After three hours, I decided that the Rodent, Miriel, and K-9 had sufficiently found trouble, and they were up to their eyebrows in it by now. Pulling Mikey away from the diligent repair of the TARDIS monitor, I learned even more dalekian swear words, especially since his laser gun had no effect upon me. I glared at him.
"I have been through worse," I answered, "We must rescue the Rodent, Miriel, and K-9."
"WHY?"
K-9 is a good friend of yours."
"WHAT IS AN INFERIOR COMPUTER TO THE DALEKS?"
"The Rodent gets WD-40 for you."
"I AM LEAVING THE RODENT. DALEKS WILL CREATE THEIR OWN WD-40."
"I like Miriel. You will help me save Miriel. Why? you ask, because I have more brute force than you. Your gun has no effect upon me. You will obey me, or you will be a big green slimy stain on the TARDIS wall."
"I AM A DALEK. I OBEY NO INFERIOR RACE."
I glared at him. The eyestalk dilated and met my challenge. We stood this way for a good fifteen minutes, until I decided this was useless and wasting my time. I got bored and said, "I'll split you my next kill."
"IT'S A BIT DRY."
"Since when do you care? I thought anything that would eat frozen Big Macs would was not that finicky."
"I DID NOT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING FOR THAT ONE."
"So, my kills are better than cooked Big Macs."
"YOU WANT ME TO GIVE UP CHALLENGING THIS INFERIOR COMPUTER AT DEATH RACE TO SAVE K-9, THE RODENT, AND MIRIEL JUST FOR YOUR DRY LEFTOVERS?"
"Okay, with anti-freeze and WD-40 poured over the top of it."
Mikey remained silent. Finally, his eyestalk looked up, and he chirped, "ALRIGHT."
So, after much argument about the mode of transport and payments for services rendered, I ended up holding tightly to Mikey's casing, and I planted my feet firmly on the platform of his metal skirt. It was times like these that I really wished I knew something of that skill called driving. Unlike other daleks that I have encountered, Mikey had more speed than any of the mechanical menace that I have ever encountered. We took off like a shot. After a couple of seconds, I adjusted to the harrowing speed. This I could handle. It was the drop from the 500 miles per hour to zero in less than a quarter of a second that did not go over too well. The heavy tree breaking stop took me a little while to get over. I will have to learn how to drive!
I managed to gather my scattered wits, broken bones, and other problems. Some of the attributes of my state of being are quite useful at times. During the hour that it took my dazed healing process to finish, I could swear that I heard mechanical laughter. When I looked up from the staring eyestalk from my position in the grass, I swear that I could detect a self satisfied grin from my companion. I quietly composed myself. I pulled myself up from the ground and firmly kicked Mikey's dalek can.
"YOU ARE FORTUNATE THAT YOU DID NOT DENT MY CASING! WARS HAVE BEEN FOUGHT OVER LESS!" grated his harsh voice.
"I've told you before I am not afraid of you and your threats," I answered.
"I HAVE TRIED TO HELP YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL OF DEATH, AND THIS IS HOW YOU THANK ME!"
I knew there was no point in arguing with him about dying in honor. So, I let it pass. I sought out my companions' track. Since the Rodent, Miriel, and K-9 made no effort to hide their tracks, they were easy enough to find along with the motor scooter, that was heavily chained to a tree. We managed to avoid multiple nasty traps. Knowing the leadership and the experience of the other party. I wondered how they managed to escape these traps. I knew them not dead, because their tracks continued through the woods. Mikey was insistent that I go first through the woods, and he followed at a fair distance behind me. The first round of explosives scared me tremendously, and especially for the fate of our female companions. The thought of the loss of Miriel devastated me, and the thought of without the Rodent, I was likely to be stranded on a planet full of daleks like Mikey. It was more than I could take. Mikey trundled along without caring. My presence on this planet would not bother him near as bad as it would me being stuck here!
After a while, Mikey recognized the traps, and he showed off his marksdakekship to me. Not only did he blast the traps, he blasted small furry animals and not so small and not so furry animals and anything else that moved or otherwise.
I shook my head. "That gun had better be on stun," I complained.
"AND WHAT if it is not?"
"There is no need to kill these creatures needlessly."
"WHAT ARE THEIR MENIAL LIVES AGAINST THE ENTERTAINMENT OF THE SUPERIOR DALEK RACE?"
I stopped dead in my tracks and turned on him. I stood my ground and prepared my farewell speech to say to my irritating companion, but he cut me off.
HUMANOIDS ARE SO PECULIAR. YOUR VAMPIRE RACE HAS DESTROYED PLANETS WITHOUT A THOUGHT, WHAT MAKES THAT DIFFERENT THAN MY TARGET PRACTICE?"
I sighed and drooped my shoulders. He had a point. The vast destruction was not necessary for our existence. Is this not why I have tried to do penitence the last couple of centuries?
His eyestalk turned to me in my silent defeat. "BESIDES," he said, "DOES MY LASER HAVE ANY OTHER SETTING BESIDES STUN?"
I looked at him. My darkness passed. "You may fool the Rodent, but I know you better. For all your flaws, you are still a dalek. That laser would be the first thing on your agenda to fix."
"I HAVE NO FLAWS, BECAUSE I AM A DALEK."
"Hush!" I hissed. I heard movement in the woods. The sense of humanoids filled my being in a none too positive way. For all my years of discipline of control, I have never been able to overcome that basic instinct. Mikey made no argument of the order I gave him, because he became sorely aware of danger also.
Mikey turned his eyestalk around and scanned the woodland. The gun post turned around next. I hopped behind my companion to avoid the blast. The blue laser split the air, and I turned and fell face forward into Mikey's casing. I slid to the ground. I was getting tired of getting wounded so many times in the course of this story. As I lost consciousness and laid face down in the mud bleeding, two thoughts occurred to me. I knew my female companions had to be elbow deep in trouble, because stun blasts only threw me somewhat. The blast was meant to kill me. The other thought was at this rate, I would have to replenish my sustenance sooner than I expected. This was irritating to me, because when starved, I am much more violent than I mean to be, and I really did not want to feed in front of Mikey.
When I did wake, I found Mikey totally immobilized and booby trapped. How many blasts hits me? Mikey's gun and plunger were broken along with his eyestalk. A large pack of explosives was strapped around his casing. There was scrawling of foreign words and letters spray painted all over him. I believe I had my first lesson in thalian. And the words I just learned just matched what I learned from Mikey. Now I was vocabularily equipped for a barroom brawl anywhere on Skaro! I'm so thrilled. I rubbed my sore head and tried to clear my thinking. I looked over Mikey's booby traps thoroughly, and I realized that there was no way that I could safely undo it, and I could hear the tick of the timer.
I accessed the locking devise the thals had put on Mikey's lid. It was simple and not connected to the explosives. I was left for dead . . . they had zapped me enough to kill a Allurian weremoose! (Trust me, they are a hardy creature!) They apparently felt that no other creature, including other daleks, would try and rescue him. I easily broke the lock. Quickly, I pulled out the green blob of squirming tentacles from the mechanism and ran further into the woods with my slimy bundle.
The explosion caused the ground to shake and a bright light lit the woods around me. I was thrown to the ground. I can happily tolerate the bright sunlight and do some roaming about in daylight hours, but I am still a nocturnal creature with the frailties of creatures of night. I was blinded by the flash. Luckily for Mikey, I was a light weight creature, since he was under my bulk.
There was a good reason for dalek casing. The organic being that was Mikey was rather a frail jellyfish like creature, who would be at a disadvantage in any war. Extreme temperatures would do no good. A sunburn to his thin skin could be a truly harrowing experience. If I had wanted to kill Mikey, this would have been my perfect opportunity, as much as we argued and he irritated me, I never truly had the desire to kill him. Besides, I had just rescued him! I felt tentacles crawl from under me and over my back as I lay face down in the mud. I lifted myself up and touched the bulk on my back. "Mikey?" I inquired.
I go no response. The tentacles tightened around my shoulders. Rubbing my eyes, I sat up. Still no light came to my eyes. I stood up. My head swirled and I unceremoniously sat back down with a thump. I wiped the mud from my face with a cleaner part of my sleeve. My sight still struggled to return. My ears perked at the sound of approaching feet. "Mikey! We're in trouble!" The tentacles squeezed my arms slightly. I heard a squealy unintelligible voice in my ear. I felt fine sharp teeth in my shoulder. I gave a frail smarmy smile. "Whatever you are thinking, my friend, remember what I am. To bite me would not be a good idea. There is no telling what my blood will do to you. Besides, that will not motivate me out of my inability."
I heard a disgusted squeal and gurgle. I moved my hands to a tree and pulled myself up. I continued to blink my eyes, but to no avail. I took a deep breath and allowed my other sense guide me. My state of existence allowed my sense to heighten plus I acquired a few more. I not only could hear the approach of footfalls, but I could feel their souls and the movement of their blood as well. I prepared myself. I sorted the feel of the tree around me. With another deep breath, I made a run for it. My aim was off. I ran into a couple of trees before I gave up the idea. My existence did not call for hunting and feeding off of trees after all. I have never been blinded before, and no matter my age and multiple skills, I knew I would not be able to escape them this way. So, it was time to climb a tree. Mikey made frantic remarks. I think the great superior being of the supreme race of the universe was afraid of heights! I hushed him. I could hear the thals on the ground below. I cringed up in the thick leaves and hoped they didn't look up.
........................to be continued......................