Since I have some complaint about this chapter . . . well, one reviewer didn't like it, (Proof positive that I read my reviews, and I will get around to your stories in the near future, since the holdiays are almost over.) I feel I need to do a little explaining. This chapter is in in captials, because Mikey is telling the story at this point. Each of the Rodent's companions were suppose to tell a chapter. Mikey, being a dalek, speaks in capitals for several reasons. One is, at the time I originally wrote this, all capitols looked more computerlike. Number two, capitals suggest a superior speech. We all knw how daleks are on that point. Point 3, and yes, he is shouting the whole thing. Daleks do a lot shouting (Vogons are a distant relation, you know). Hey! Have you ever heard a dalek say anything quietly??????
HOLIDAY ON SKARO PART 3
WE RETURNED TO SKARO. THIS WAS MY PRIMARY MISSION. NOTHING THAT THAT IRRITATING TIME LADY THE RODENT SIS WAS SUCCESSFUL. IT WAS NOT BAD ENOUGH THAT I TRAVELED WITH A DITZY TIME LADY, BUT I ALSO HAD TO TRAVEL WITH A BACKWARD COMPUTER DOG, A MALFUNCTIONING TIME MACHINE, A SELF RIGHTEOUS VAMPIRE (WHO FAR TOO OFTEN PUT ME AT TEMPORARY SET BACKS OF BRUTE STRENGTH. HIS INTELLIGENCE COULD NEVER MATCH MY OWN.), AND A HUMANOID CREATURE OF UNKNOWN ORIGINS (BUT QUITE A GOOD COOK. THIS QUALITY APPEALED TO THE ORGANIC SIDE OF ME.). OUT OF LACK OF SUPERIOR INTELLECT, THAT TIME LADY, THE RODENT, DECIDED TO PUT THE THALS AT MY DISPOSAL. I WAS OPPOSED TO THIS IDEA FROM THE START. K-9 ONLY WAGGED HIS TAIL. K-9 AGREED WITH ANYTHING. NO INCENTIVE REQUIRED.
THROUGH A DEVASTATING DISASTER, I FOUND MY ORGANIC FORM IN A MOST INFERIOR AND DEGRADING CASING OF A LONG DEAD DALEK. JUST WHEN I CAME TO BELIEVE THAT THINGS COULD NOT GET WORSE, I FOUND MYSELF ON THE STOOP OF A THAL'S APARTMENT SURROUNDED BY MUTOS!
GARKOE, THE WITLESS THAL ALLY, TRIED DESPERATELY TO OPEN THE APARTMENT DOOR WITH A KEY CARD. AFTER THE FIRST COUPLE OF ATTEMPTS HE SHOULD HAVE REALIZED THAT HIS FUTURE ATTEMPTS WOULD BE FUTILE. LIKE THE INFERIOR CREATURE THAT ALL THALS HAVE FOREVER BEEN, HE KEPT TRYING WITH A FEW OTHER ADJUSTMENTS . . . CURSING AND POUNDING. WHAT A WASTE OF ENERGY1 THIS LEFT OUR SURVIVAL TO THAT SMUG VAMPIRE ALANDIS AND ME WITH MY VAST SUPERIOR DALEK TECHNOLOGY.
I MOVED BEFORE MY FRANTIC INFERIOR HUMANOID COMPANIONS, TOOK AIM WITH MY BLASTER, AND I HIT THE CONTROLS, THAT I BELIEVED WAS THE BLASTER CONTROLS. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE BLASTER CONTROLS. WITH THIS DALEK, IT WAS NOT A CERTAINTY. MOST DALEK CASINGS WERE MADE THE SAME WAY. THIS DALEK WAS A REBEL, AND HE OBVIOUSLY HAD DONE SOME REMODELING. THE BLASTER DID REACT WITH MY TOUCH. THIS THING MALFUNCTIONED. INSTEAD OF A DEADLY RAY OF ENERGY, LITTLE PINK AND WHITE FLOWERS POPPED OUT. THIS WAS THE PROPER PLACE AND TIME TO SHRIEK A CURSE!
THE FLOWERS, FLOATING DOWN ON THE MUTOS, DID CAUSE A REACTION. THE MUTOS STOPPED THEIR PURSUITS OF US AND DID AN ORGANIC THING. THEY GAVE GREAT WIDE SMILES AND BEGAN TO LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. THIS GAVE ALANDIS TO DISPOSE OF THEM. MEANWHILE, GARKOE CONTINUED WITH THE LOCK. THE RODENT AND MIRIEL TRIED TO HELP THE DISGRUNTLED THAL.
"What this number?" MIRIEL ASKED AS SHE POINTED TO THE FOUR DIGIT NUMBER ON THE CARD.
"My apartment number," HE ANSWERED.
"Shouldn't it match the number on the door?" SHE ASKED.
GARKOE GAVE ONE OF THE HUMANOID EXPRESSIONS OF STUPIDITY. "This isn't my apartment!" HE USELESSLY EXCLAIMED.
I WORKED ON THE CONTROLS OF THE CASING AND UPPED MY BLASTER TO ITS NEXT LEVEL. THE MUTOS APPROACHED AGAIN. I FIRED. THE MUTOS PAUSED AND BEGAN TO SNEEZE ON THE BUBBLES THAT ISSUED FORTH. ALANDIS TOOK THEM OUT AGAIN.
THE RODENT PLAYED WITH HER YO-YO, THAT SHE HAD MANAGED TO FIND IN HER POCKETS. GARKOE SLAPPED HIS FOREHEAD. I WANTED TO HIT HIM WITH SOMETHING HARDER. HE EXCLAIMED, "Talar!"
HE PRESSED A BUTTON ON THE DOOR, THAT RESPONDED WITH A SOFT MELODY. THE THIRD GROUP OF MUTOS APPROACHED. I MOVED MY BLASTER TO FULL POWER AND SHOT. THE MUTOS SWAYED AND STAGGERED. THERE WAS A HARDY CHORUS OF "WHOAAAAH!", THEN THEY COLLAPSED IN A PILE. THEY WERE NOT OBLITERATED, BUT THEY WERE IN A FIRM STUPOR. THEY WOULD GIVE US NO TROUBLE.
A COUPLE OF MINUTES PASSED. THE MUTANTS DID NOT RECOVER FROM MY BLAST. THEY CONTINUED TO ROLL ABOUT WITH SMILES AND LAUGHTER. HOW UNUSUAL? WHAT WAS THIS HIGH LEVEL ON THIS GUN? THE DOOR TO APARTMENT FINALLY SLIDE OPEN. A THAL WOMAN, IN CASUAL CLOTHES, CAUTIOUSLY LOOKED AT US. K-9 MADE THE APPROPRIATE ELECTRONICAL NOISES FROM BEHIND HER.
"What are you doing at my door?" SHE ASKED AS SHE BLOCKED THE ENTRANCE.
"I . . . uh . . . well, . . . you see, . . . " GARKOE BEGAN AS HIS FACE TURNED SEVERAL SHADES OF RED.
"He made a boo-boo, and now we are here," ANSWERED THE RODENT.
"This is most irregular. I don't just let anyone into my apartment!" SHE ANSWERED.
ALANDIS TURNED ME ABOUT SO THAT I COULD NOT BLAST THIS THAL (AND TAKE GARKOE OUT WITH HER).
"We are K-9's owners," MIRIEL ANSWERED.
"Yeah, we came to see him," THE RODENT ADDED, "He's a bit arachnophobic, and he needs our support."
"What's this arachnophobic?" SHE ASKED.
"Don't worry," ALANDIS ANSWERED, "It's not contagious, but we do need to administer treatment right away."
SHE STOOD UP AND SHOOK OUT HER LONG BLONDE HAIR. I WAS NOT SURE OF THE MEANING OF THIS ACTION, BUT GARKOE HAD A MOST UNUSUAL REACTION. HE TURNED A BIT REDDER AND PASSED OUT. THE FIVE OF US LOOKED DOWN AT HIM. ALANDIS SIGHED AND SLUNG HIM OVER HIS UNCONSCIOUS BODY OVER HIS SHOULDER. I, FOR ONE, WAS WILLING TO LEAVE HIM OUT ON THE STOOP.
SO, WE ALL GAINED ENTRANCE TO HER APARTMENT WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY. MY EYESTALK TURNED TO THE RODENT. "WHEN DID K-9 BECOME AFRAID OF SPIDERS?"
"I didn't know he was afraid of spiders. What gave you that idea?"
ALANDIS SHOOK HIS HEAD. "Nevermind," HE SAID.
"WHERE IS MY PROGRAM FOR THE DALEK CITY?" I ASKED STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.
"Oh!" TALAR EXCLAIMED, "Come. I'll show you. I've been busily at work on it. What an excellent idea of Garkoe's to bring you to my apartment. I can now confirm the proper purpose you had in mind with this program. Not to mention, you can teach me about rebel dalek programming."
"I DO NOT WANT A THAL TINKERING WITH MY PROGRAMMING! THIS CASING IS BAD ENOUGH!"
"Ah, sure you do! We may be able to discover all kinds of goodies together!" SHE LOOKED AROUND AT THE OTHER FOUR. GARKOE HAD UNFORTUNATELY WOKE UP. "Make yourselves comfortable. There are insty meals in the cupboard."
"Somehow that doesn't sound very appetizing," MUTTERED MIRIEL.
"Food!" EXCLAIMED THE RODENT AS SHE HAPPILY RAN TO THE CUPBOARD AND CAME UP WITH A HALF GALLON JUG OF CAPSULES. SHE PULLED BACK WITH A FROWN.
"Add water," GARKOE INFORMED HER.
"Oh," SHE ANSWERED. SHE OPENED THE JAR AND TOOK IT TO THE WATER FACET. SHE FILLED THE JAR WITH WATER. AN OMINOUS NOISE FILLED THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AN EXPLOSION. I TURNED MY EYESTALK BACK TO HER. GOOP WAS SPLATTERED EVERYWHERE OVER THE ENTIRE KITCHEN AND THE RODENT. SHE LICKED HER FINGERS AND SAID, "Not bad."
ALANDIS SMACKED HIS FOREHEAD WITH THE PALM OF HIS HAND IN EXASPERATION. RASSILON RAT MADE ONE OF HIS GRAND APPEARANCES. WITH AN EXCLAMATION OF PURE JOY, HE JUMPED INTO THE ACCUMULATED MESS AND ATE THE SLOP.
MIRIEL GAVE A FAINT SMILE AND BEGAN TO CLEAN THE MESS. ALANDIS ASSISTED HER. BEING THE SUPERIOR SPECIES THAT I AM, I SLITHERED OUT OF MY CASING AND JOINED RASSILON ON THE FLOOR. OUT OF MY FIVE REGULAR COMPANIONS, HE WAS BY FAR THE CLOSEST TO MY SUPREME INTELLECT.
GARKOE GAVE A NERVOUS SMILE AND LOOKED TO TALAR. "They ae aliens, after all."
FINALLY, EVERYONE, INCLUDING RASSILON AND MYSELF, WERE SATED. I CRAWLED BACK INTO MY CASING. IN A RELAXED STATE, I WAS WILLING TO LET MY BANQUET DIGEST WHILE THE REST FINISHED THEIR TASK AT HAND. THE RODENT LEFT FOR A SHOWER.
AFTER A COUPLE OF HOURS OF WORK, TALAR HAD THE AUDACITY TO BANG ON THE LID OF MY CASING. I BLASTED HER WITH THE FLOWER POWER. SHE SMILED AND SUPPRESSED THE LAUGHTER . I WOULD HATE TO USE THE MAXIMUM RAY ON HER. I DID WANT INFORMATION ON MY PROGRAM. SHE MOTIONED FOR ME TO COME INTO THE COMPUTER ROOM.
"I would think your best bet would be to contact the rebel daleks. Your casing will serve you well in this," SHE TOLD ME.
"DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY PURPOSE?! INFILTRATING THE DALEK REBEL CITY IS THE CORE OF MY PLAN, YOU @#$%^&* THAL!"
"Other than vast death, devastation, and domination over what's left."
"A GOOD SMORGASBORD WOULD NOT HURT MATTERS ANY!" I ANSWERED.
"You just ate!"
"THAT WAS A MERE APPETIZER!"
GARKOE SMILED. "I see how he got to be a fat dalek."
"SHUT UP, THAL!" I RETORTED.
TALAR SHOOK HER HEAD. "Enough of all the nonsense," SHE SAID. NEVERMIND SHE WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED IT. SHE TURNED TO ME. "It would be quite helpful if you would interface with the computer with the computer of your shell."
'THIS CASING IS MOST IRREGULAR. INTERFACING COULD CAUSE SERIOUS DAMAGE TO MY ORGANIC SELF." ALTHOUGH I HAD NOT INTERFACED WITH THE COMPUTERS, THE BASIC LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS, SPEECH SYSTEMS, AND WEAPONRY SYSTEMS WERE AVAILABLE TO ME. THESE WERE THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL ELEMENTS OF DALEK LIFE. I DID NOT NEED THE COMPUTER FOR THESE. I JUST FELT THAT THE INFORMATION THAT THIS DALEK HAD TO OFFER WAS NOT OF ANY PRACTICAL USE.
"He's just scared," REMARKED ALANDIS FROM THE DOORWAY.
"I AM A DALEK. DALEKS FEAR NO MUTATED INFERIOR DALEKS."
"Yeah, right!"
"I CAN PROVE MY POINT WITH ONE SERIOUS BLAST."
ALANDIS LAUGHED. "With your almighty flower power?"
"I CAN EASILY SHIFT MY LASER TO MAXIMUM."
"I am not afraid of you. I was blasted twice within my first day on Skaro. Nothing you can do to me will frighten me."
"I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THAT."
TALAR CLEARED HER THROAT. "We know little of dalek culture," THE THAL COMMENTED, "We know even less about the rebel daleks. I have been able to access some information through my own computers from the Empirical City, but the rebel daleks have less logic, so their codes are rather hard to crack than normal dalek codes of entry. With the lack of proper data, I cannot guarantee you safe passage into the dalek city."
"I WILL NOT BE MISTAKEN FOR AN EMPIRICAL DALEK IN SUCH A CASING!"
"I'm not sure the normal rebel daleks would accept such a casing," SHE COMMENTED.
"EXPLAIN."
"Your casing suggests a sub-group of the rebel daleks. The bright colors and strange symbols seem to be unique to this dalek. We have never captured another one such as this one. Most of the rebel daleks have standard colors, red, black, or grey."
"I WILL ACQUIRE A NEW CASING. I REFUSE TO BE TAKEN AS A JOKE. SHUT UP, ALANDIS!"
"Ooooooo! I tremble in fear," THE VAMPIRE ANSWERED.
"Rebel daleks go by names, not numbers."
"THE RODENT CALLS ME MIKEY."
"You accept this?"
"IT IS EASIER FOR THE HUMANOIDS TO SAY AND REMEMBER. IT IS THEREFORE EFFICIENT."
"I have made several adjustments to your program. I could possibly download it into the Empirical Daleks main computer if I knew the pass words and the routes."
"I PLAN TO GIVE THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS A NEW DIRECTIVE. I DO NOT PLAN TO BETRAY THEM TO OUR ARCH ENEMIES THE THALS."
"Besides, he doesn't know it or have the ability to find out anyway," ALANDIS ADDED, "He's a scout dalek."
"WHAT MAKES YOU SO KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT MY STATUS, SMARTY PANTS?" I RETURNED.
"I dislike computers and technology, but I am not incapable. Sturd kept records of us," HE ANSWERED, "I destroyed them before we left. It would not do for the sontarans to know about either of our races."
"I AM A SUPERIOR SCOUT!" I CONCLUDED.
"How do you plan to establish your program?" TALAR ASKED.
"I WILL MAKE CONTACT WITH THE REBEL DALEKS. WE WILL INFILTRATE THE EMPIRICAL DALEK HEADQUARTERS. I WILL DISTRACT THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS WITH MY SPECIAL VIDEO. THE REBEL DALEKS WILL INSTALL THE PROGRAM."
"The rebel daleks are far less advanced than the Empirical Daleks. They may not know how to get into the computers of the Empirical Daleks, muchless load a program into it," SHE REPLIED.
"THALS ARE LESS ADVANCED THAN DALEKS," I RETURNED.
"I don't know about the truth of that statement with the rebel daleks, but you will see. Will this video be of interest to the Empirical Daleks?"
"AFFIRMATIVE AND DOUBLE AFFIRMATIVE. THE RODENT TOOK US TO AN INTERESTING PLACE CALLED VAROS, WHERE I PURCHASED THIS SPECIAL VIDEO. TWICE EVEN. IT IS FOOTAGE OF THE TORTURE AND DEATH OF THE DALEKS' ARCH ENEMY THE DOCTOR."
"And did you do this to the Doctor?"
THE SHOCK AND GRIEF ON HER FACE MADE THIS WHOLE DAY WORTHWHILE. "THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS DO NOT KNOWN THAT I DID NOT."
"The Doctor is truly dead?"
I HATED TO BREAK THE MOMENT. "NEGATIVE."
"But the video?"
"IT APPEARS TO SHOW HIS TORTURE AND HIS EXECUTION. I HAVE RECENTLY SEEN THE DOCTOR AFTER HIS ENDURANCE OF THIS VIDEO. WE ATE TOGETHER. HE IS NOT WHAT THE COMPUTER BANK HAVE TOLD ME. WE SHARE A SIMILAR INTEREST IN FOOD. STILL, THE VIDEO PROVES ENTERTAINING. SO DOES THE ONE OF ALANDIS' EXECUTION."
ALANDIS MADE A CRUDE GESTURE.
"The Doctor is a Thal hero."
"AND THAT IS SUPPOSE TO BE A GOOD THING?"
SHE SHOOK HER HEAD. SHE PUT THE PROGRAM ON A DISC. SHE GAVE ME THIS DISC AND A CRUDE MAP OF THE REBEL DALEK CITY. THIS COULD PROVE USEFUL. FOR A BEING WHO CLAIMED TO KNOW LITTLE OF THIS DALEK CITY, SHE PROVED TO BE MOST INFORMATIVE. I MOVED BACK TO THE LIVING ROOM. MIRIEL WAS SLEEPING PEACEFULLY ON THE COUCH. THE RODENT WAS ON THE FLOOR WITH ONE FOOT UNDER A CHAIR AND THE OTHER OVER MIRIEL'S ANKLES ON THE COUCH. SHE SNORED LOUDLY WITH RASSILON ON HER STOMACH CURLED UP AND ASLEEP. K-9 WAS HAVING AN ANIMATED COMPUTER CONVERSATION WITH THE MICROWAVE. THIS WOULD NOT SEEM SO UNUSUAL, EXCEPT THE COMPUTER HAD NO COMPUTER BRAIN. OF COURSE, THIS WAS K-9. HE NEEDED NO INTELLECTUAL RESPONSE. GARKOE FOUND A CHAIR AND FOOT STOOL, WHERE HE DROPPED INTO AND FELL PROMPTLY ASLEEP. ALANDIS FOUND A DARK CORNER AND SAT IN MEDITATION. TALAR WENT TO HER BED. SINCE ALL WAS SAID AND DONE FOR THE DAY, I SHUT ALL SYSTEMS DOWN.
WITH MUCH CONVINCING, THREATS, AND MY DALEK SUPERIORITY, MY HELPERS WERE CONVINCED THAT THE BEST WAY FOR THE JOB TO BE DONE RIGHT WOULD BE FOR ME TO GO ALONE. HOW WOULD THEY THINK THE DALEKS WOULD GREET THEM. I MERELY TOLERATE THEM. IT WAS MOST INADVISABLE FOR ME TO BE SEEN IN A DALEK CITY WITH INFERIOR HUMANOIDS. SO, TALAR AND GARKOE, ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE CREW LED ME TO THE MOUTH OF A CAVE. WE AGREED TO MEET BACK HERE IN THREE DAYS TIME.
KRAMA LI, THE REBEL DALEK LAY SEVERAL MILES UNDERGROUND. THE PATH WAS SOMEWHAT MECHANICALLY TRODDEN. I MANAGED WITH LITTLE DIFFICULTY. I CAME TO THE MAIN GATE. TWO GUARDS STOOD, ONE TO EACH SIDE OF THE GATE. THEY WERE IN RED CASINGS. THIS COLOR WAS A SYMBOL OF AUTHORITY. MANY THINGS WERE DIFFERENT IN KRAMA LI FROM PASSAH, BUT THE COLOR COORDINATION WAS THE SAME SO FAR.
ONE OF THE MANY STRANGE . . . EMOTIONS . . . WASHED OVER MY BEING SINCE I HAVE MET THE RODENT. SINCE I HAVE BEEN . . . CONTAMINATED BY WEAK EMOTIONS, I HAVE NOT MET ANOTHER
LIVE DALEK. I WAS PLEASED WITH THE FEEL OF THIS EMOTION. IT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN THE BAG OF TWELVE WASTE CASTLE HAMBURGERS I GOT LAST WEEK! I SUPPRESSED THE . . . JOY. I HELD ONTO MY DALEKHOOD. AS A MEMBER OF THE SUPREME RACE OF THE UNIVERSE, THIS WAS MY DUTY.
"AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" ONE OF THE DALEK GUARDS DEMANDED.
"I HAVE RECEIVED SOME DAMAGE FROM THE MUTOS. I HAVE DONE SOME REPAIRS. I RETURN HOME."
"YOU TALK STRANGELY FOR THE UNDERGROWTH OF SOCIETY," REMARKED THE SECOND DALEK.
"I AM STILL IN THE PROCESS OF REPAIRS."
THE TWO GUARDS RELAYED MESSAGES PRIVATELY BETWEEN THEMSELVES IN SILENT COMPUTER LANGUAGE. I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THEIR LANGUAGE, AND I WAS STILL HESITANT ABOUT MERGING WITH THE COMPUTER BANKS OF THIS CASING. IN THE EMPIRE, ALL DALEKS COULD ACCESS ALL OTHER DALEK MESSAGES. THERE WAS NO NEED FOR SECRECY FROM EACH OTHER. WE WERE OF ONE MIND, ONE PURPOSE. WE WOULD DO ANYTHING THAT THE EMPEROR DALEK WOULD ORDER, FOR HE WAS THE WHOLE MEANING OF DALEKHOOD. I FOUND THESE TWO DALEKS' REACTION STRANGE. THERE WAS NO REAL NEED FOR COMPUTER LANGUAGE. MY HUMANOID COMPANIONS WERE NOT WITH ME.
"WE WILL ALLOW YOU TO ENTER THE CITY AGAIN. THIS IS BECAUSE WE NEED AS MANY DALEKS AS POSSIBLE TO SURVIVE. WE MAY HELP YOUR DEGENERATE WAYS YET. DAVROS ONLY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR SOCIETY TO CREATE SUCH A DEGENERATION."
I WAS ALLOWED TO PASS BETWEEN THE TWO DALEKS INTO THE REBEL CITY. AH, CIVILIZATION AT LAST! HERE, AT LEAST, EVERYTHING WAS CREATED AT THE PROPER ANGLES. SHINING METAL WAS THE SUBSTANCE OF THE WALKS AND THE BUILDINGS. THE LIGHTS WERE DIM. DALEKS DO NOT NEED MUCH LIGHT LIKE THE FRAIL HUMANOIDS. WE DO NOT EXPEND MUCH ENERGY INTO LIGHTING. ALTHOUGH THERE WAS A VAST FAMILIARITY WITH THE DESIGN AND SUBSTANCE, SOME OF THE STRUCTURES I DID NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND. I BELIEVE IT WAS ATTEMPT AT ART. THE HUM OF MACHINERY PERMEATED THROUGHOUT THE METALLIC STREETS. OTHER SOUNDS MINGLED WITH THAT HUM . . . THE SOUND OF OTHER DALEKS AND MOVEMENT . . . BANGS AND CLANKS. THERE WAS ALSO THE SOUND THAT THE RODENT REFERRED TO AS MUSIC. NONE OF THIS "MUSIC" SHE EVER LISTENED TO HAD A PRACTICAL PURPOSE.
I ROLLED INTO THE CITY AND FOUND A FEW DALEKS MOVING ABOUT IN THE CITY. NONE OF THEM HAD THE ABSURD CASING THAT I HAD. THEY LOOKED LIKE NORMAL DALEKS EXCEPT FOR THEIR SIZE. CASINGS WERE A STANDARD FOUR FEET TALL AND THREE AND A QUARTER WIDE. SOME OF THESE DALEKS WERE SMALLER THAN THE STANDARD FOUR FEET AND PROPORTIONALLY WIDE. THEY RANGED FROM THE STANDARD SIZE TO ONE FOOT TALL AND PROPORTIONALLY WIDE. SOME OF THESE SMALLER DALEKS WERE ACCOMPANIED BY THE LARGER DALEKS. HOW STRANGE. AT FIRST, I THOUGHT THAT THESE SMALLER DALEKS WERE SUBSERVIENT TO THE LARGER ONES. AFTER I THOUGHT ABOUT MY TRAVELS WITH THE RODENT AND WHERE I WAS, I SOON REALIZED THAT THESE WERE UNDEVELOPED DALEKS. THEY WERE CHILDREN DALEKS SO TO SPEAK. THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS ALWAYS WAITED FOR THE YOUNG DALEKS TO REACH FULL MATURITY BEFORE A CASING WAS GIVEN, BUT THE SPAWN WERE MINDLESSLY RUTHLESS WITHOUT ANY LOGIC. THESE WERE CHILDREN LIKE THE HUMANOID CHILDREN. I ALSO SAW UNSHELLED DALEKS. I CHECKED THE RADIATION READINGS ON MY INSTRUMENTS. THESE WERE AUTOMATIC READINGS. I DID NOT HAVE TO ACCESS THE COMPUTER FOR THESE READINGS. THE RADIATION HERE WAS QUITE HIGH AND MADE THE PERFECT LIVING ENVIRONS FOR DALEKS.
THE FURTHER I TRAVELED INTO THE CITY, THE STRANGER IT BECAME. I FOUND SPRAY PAINTINGS ON THE WALLS. THEY WERE OF THE MOST PECULIAR SUBJECTS. WORDS WERE SCRAWLED ACROSS ANOTHER WALL. THEY READ IN DISTORTED DALEKIAN "KREVAR WAS HERE 15.39.174321", "DAVETT RULES". "WAY COOL DAVETT'S SQUEALS LIGHT UP MY TENTACLES", AND "WAVY DAVETT, HATCH MY SPAWN, 629". I HAD TO LOOK AT THESE FOR A LONG TIME. I CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THIS IS WHAT THE RODENT REFERRED TO AS GRAFFITI.
THIS LINE ABOUT "DAVETT RULES" WAS MY MOST INFORMATIVE CLUE. I MUST FIND THIS DAVETT. HE WAS THE MOST OBVIOUS RULER OF THIS STRANGE SOCIETY.
I MOVED FURTHER INTO THE CITY. I FOUND TWO DALEKS SHOOTING SPRAY PAINT ACROSS THE STREET AT EACH OTHER. ONE SHOT RED PAINT FROM HIS GUN CANNON, AND THE OTHER SHOT BLUE. THE BUILDINGS SHOWS SIGNS OF THE OVERSHOTS. THERE WAS SIGNS OF EARLIER SUCH BATTLES WITH OTHER COLORS. BOTH DALEKS WERE SPLOTCHED WITH EACH OTHER'S COLOR. THERE WAS SIGNS OF DRY GREEN PAINT UNDERNEATH THIS NEW COAT ON EACH DALEK.
"WHERE CAN i FIND DAVETT?" I ASKED.
THE SPRAY PAINT WAR ENDED. THE EYESTALKS OF BOTH DALEKS SWUNG TOWARDS ME. "HEY, MOST BODACIOUS BUD, MOST DAR FLUNG TUBULAR GUISE. PART OF DAVETT'S SWING PATCH, YEAH?' THE RED BLUE PAINT SHOOTING DALEK EXCLAIMED.
"WHERE WILL I FIND DAVETT'S SWING PATCH?" I ASKED.
"HEY!" SAID THE BLUE RED PAINT SPRAYING DALEK, "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SUPER SWIRLY LINGO, DALEK BUD?"
"I HAVE SUSTAINED DAMAGE. I AM WORKING ON REPAIRS AT THIS TIME." THE TWO DALEKS MOVED IN ON ME AND CIRCLED AROUND ME. I WAS TEMPTED TO CHANCE INTERFACE WITH THE COMPUTER. I COULD NOT BE FAST ENOUGH TO SAVE MYSELF FROM THESE TWO DALEKS IF THEY CHOSE TO KILL ME. "I HAVE BEEN AWAY FROM THE CITY FOR A LONG TIME. I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED BY MUTOS AND THALS," I ADDED.
"WERE YOU OUT COMMUNING WITH YOUR INNER MOST SELF AND THE SPIRIT OF SKARO WERE YOU TRYING TO FIND OUT THE GRAND PLANS THAT THE GREAT DAVROS HAD IN MIND WHEN HE CREATED THE DALEK RACE? WERE YOU TRYING TO FIND OUT THE MEANING OF OUR INDIVIDUALITY THAT THE GREAT LIBERATOR THE DOCTOR GAVE US TO SEARCH FOR?"
I WAS TAKEN ABACK. WHAT A COMBINATION OF CONTRASTS OF ICONS. DAVROS WAS HELD IN GREAT ESTEEM BY THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS. AFTER ALL, HE WAS OUR EMPEROR. THE DOCTOR WAS OUR ARCH ENEMY AND WAS TO BE EXTERMINATED ON SIGHT BY ORDERS OF THE EMPEROR.. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT THE SUPREME DALEK DID NOT HAVE THE SAME COMMAND. THESE DALEKS HELD BOTH BEINGS IN HIGH ESTEEM! "YOU MAY SAY THAT I HAVE BEEN SEEKING MY INDIVIDUALITY." I SOUGHT MY FAULTY ORGANIC MEMORY. I REMEMBERED ONE OF THE RODENT'S USELESS PRATTLES THAT GOT US THROUGH A TIGHT SITUATION. "I WAS TOLD BY THE VOICE IN THE HEAVENS THAT I SHOULD SEEK DAVETT. DAVETT WAS THE ANSWER THAT I SEEK."
"TUBULAR! FAR OUT ZEN, MAN!" ANSWERED THE RED PAINTED DALEK, "DAVETT IS ONE GROOVY DALEK. I KNEW HE HAD ALL THE ANSWERS. HE OFTEN RELATES HIS GREAT SPEWS OF WISDOM AT THE GNARLY NUTS AND BOLTS SWING FLING PARLOR."
"IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME," I ANSWERED, "AND MY MEMORY CIRCUITS ARE FAULTY AND DAMAGED." I REMEMBERED A LINE FROM THE RODENT HAD SAID ABOUT ALANDIS AND ME TO A STRANGER, WHO WAS OBVIOUSLY PUT OFF BY MY SUPERIOR RACE. "I HAVE SUFFERED SUNSTROKE IN THE WASTELANDS." OF COURSE, I FOUND THE STATEMENT INVALID FOR BOTH ALANDIS AND MYSELF. THE SUN HAD NO EFFECT THROUGH MY CASING, AND NOTHING AFFECTED ALANDIS. "REFRESH MY MEMORY OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF THIS SPECIAL PARLOR."
"SWING DOWN THE TOASTED SWIRLY WHIRLY AVENUE, THEN FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. YOU CAN'T MISS IT, DAL."
ALL THE TIME I FOUGHT TO KEEP MY SANITY DURING MY ADVENTURES WITH THE RODENT, AND I DISCOVERED THAT THESE DALEKS WERE NOT QUITE ALL THERE EITHER. HOW COULD I KEEP MY SANITY WHEN MY FELLOW DALEKS HAD ALREADY WAVED IT BYE BYE A LONG TIME AGO. THERE WAS NOTHING FOR IT. I WAS NO LONGER AN EMPIRICAL DALEK.
I MOVED ON DOWN THE STREET INTO THE CITY UNTIL A VERY DIFFERENT KIND OF STREET CROSSED MY PATH. IT WAS PAINTED WITH RED, WHITE, AND GREEN IN A WAVE PATTERN. I LOOKED TO THE LEFT. THE BUILDINGS WERE PAINTED IN THE SAME DESIGN. IT APPEARED AS THOUGH THEY JUST ROSE UP FROM THE GROUND. THE DESIGNS OF THE STREET DID NOT BREAK FOR THE BUILDINGS. THE WAVE CONTINUED ON UP THE BUILDINGS IN THE SAME HORIZONTAL PATTERNS. EVERY ONCE AND AWHILE, THE WAVE BECAME A GREAT CIRCLING DESIGN. THIS ALL HAD NO LOGICAL PURPOSE THAT I COULD DISCERN. DOORWAYS WERE HARD TO FIND DUE TO THE LACK OF THE BREAK IN PATTERN. ONE OF THE DESIGNS MOVED. I TURNED MY EYESTALK AWAY FROM THE OPTICAL ILLUSION, THEN I TURNED BACK. MORE OF THE PATTERN MOVED. IT TOOK ME A LITTLE WHILE TO REALIZE THE PATTERNS WERE ACTUALLY MOVING, BECAUSE THE DALEKS HERE WERE PAINTED THE SAME AS THE STREET AND BUILDINGS.
TO THE RIGHT, I SAW THE SAME DISORDER AND SIMILAR DALEKS. BUT IN A DIFFERENT COLOR SCHEME. THE STREET SIGN TO THE LEFT READ IN COMPUTER DIGITAL LETTERS "THE TOASTED SWIRLY WHIRLY AVENUE". THE SIGN TO THE RIGHT READ "THE GNARLY SWIRLY WHIRLY ROAD". I MOVED ONTO THE LEFT ROAD.
SEVERAL OF THE SWIRLY DALEKS MOVED ABOUT IN THE STREETS. I AM NOT SURE, BUT I BELIEVE THAT THEY WERE DANCING. STRANGE DISHARMONIC NOISE BLARED FROM THE BUILDINGS. I TOOK THIS TO BE MUSIC FOR IT SERVED NO PURPOSE, AND IT SOUNDED LIKE THE NOISE THE RODENT LIKED TO PLAY IN THE TARDIS. SHE CALLED IT MUSIC, ALANDIS AND MIRIEL ARGUED THE DEFINITION. THE DANCING DALEKS PULLED ME INTO THEIR PROMENADE. I BROKE FREE AND CONTINUED MY MISSION.
FINALLY, THE STREET CHANGED TWO WAYS. TO THE RIGHT, A YELLOW ROAD THAT WAS BADLY PAINTED TO RESEMBLE YELLOW BRICKS RAN. THE RED, GREEN, AND WHITE SWIRLY COLORS HALTED AT THE YELLOW ROAD. AFTER THE YELLOW ROAD, STRETCHING OUT INTO THE HORIZON, THE COLORS CHANGED TO PURPLE, PINK, THEN BLUE. THERE WAS NO STREET TO THE LEFT. THE THREE DESIGNS CONVERGED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. THE SIGN ON THE CORNER READ IN DIGITAL LETTERS "THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD". I TURNED ON THIS STREET.
THE BUILDINGS LINING THIS STREET WERE EMERALD GREEN. THE DALEKS IN THIS SECTION VARIED FROM A SOMEWHAT NORMAL LOOKING DALEK TO THE WHACKED OUT COLORS OF MY HOST CASING. THEY BUSIED THEMSELVES AROUND THE STREET WITH A "YO, DALEK BUD!" CRY IN MY DIRECTION. I "YO"'ED THEM BACK. A DALEK OF STRANGE PASTEL COLORS AND AN INTERESTING SCENT PASSED ME BY. "MEET ME AT THE MOSH POSH PIT LATER, BIG BOY!" WAS VOICED. I COULD HAVE SWORN THAT THE ELECTRONIC VOICE WAS FEMININE. DALEKS WERE GENETICALLY PRODUCED. FEMALES WERE CONSIDERED THE LESSER AND WEAKER LESS AGGRESSIVE OF THE SPECIES. THERE WAS NO PLACE FOR THEM IN THE SUPERIOR RACE OF THE UNIVERSE. THE ATTRACTION AND DESIRE FOR SUCH A BEING WAS ELIMINATED WITH THE REST OF THE WEAK EMOTIONS IN THE PROCESS OF OUR CREATION. I WAS DIFFERENT NOW. I FELT INCLINED TO FOLLOW THIS MOST INTERESTING DALEK. I COULD NOT FORGET MY MISSION HERE. MISSION FIRST, DALEK CHASING LATER.
I CAME TO THE END OF THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. A BUILDING WITH FLASHING LIGHTS STOOD BEFORE ME. THE LIGHTS ON THE TOP READ: "THE GNARLY NUTS AND BOLTS SWING FLING PARLOR". A SECOND BRIGHT LIGHT READ "THE MOST PINGAMATIC LAIR OF DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS".
A LOUD ELECTRONIC SQUEALING NOISE ALONG WITH OTHER NOISES FLOATED OUT OF THE ESTABLISHMENT. AN ELECTRONIC VOICE GRATED OUT LYRICS IN SOME FORM OF WHAT I TAKE TO BE AN ATTEMPT AT SINGING, BUT THE RHYTHM OF THE VOICE DID NOT MATCH THE OTHER NOISES, LIKE EVEN THE RODENT'S MUSIC DID. THE WORDS OF THE SONG MADE ME WONDER IF I HAD BEEN AWAY FROM OTHER DALEKS TOO LONG, AND I HAVE FORGOTTEN MY NATIVE TONGUE.
"MY TENTACLES SLOSH NEAR THE MOSH SKIES
AND TOGETHER WE TOOK A COSMIC TRIP
TO THE STORAGE CIRCUIT BOARD
YOU KNOW YOUR DIGITAL LOVE FRIES MY FRITTERS . . . "
I AM A DALEK. I DO NOT ADMIT FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND. THE SONG MUST BE SANG IN A NEW FORM OF DALEKIAN. THESE DALEKS HAVE BEEN SEPARATED FROM THE MAIN DALEK CULTURE FOR CENTURIES. EVEN WITH THE LACK OF COHERENCY OF THIS SONG, IT DID HAVE A STRANGE APPEAL.
I WENT TO THE DOOR OF THE PLACE. TWO BLACK DALEKS STOOD ON GUARD. "DO YOU HAVE A PASS?' ONE OF THEM ASKED.
"NO. I HAVE COME TO SEE DAVETT," I ANSWERED.
I WAS BLASTED. IT HURT, BUT I STILL FUNCTIONED. I THOUGHT THIS OVER. THEY DID NOT ANNIHILATE ME FOR THE TRESPASS. WHY BOTHER WASTE THE ENERGY? I WAS NOT DETERRED. I SOUGHT THE LOGIC OF THE ACTION.
"GET LOST!" THE SECOND DALEK ORDERED.
I LOOKED AT THE POSTER THAT SHOWED A PICTURE OF DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS. THEY WERE DALEKS IN THE SAME KIND OF CASING THAT I NOW HAVE. I TURNED MY EYESTALK BACK TO THE TWO GUARDS. THE RODENT HAD TAUGHT ME MANY BAD HABITS BY EXAMPLE. ONE OF HER MAJOR RULES WAS, WHEN IN DOUBT, MAKE SOMETHING UP.
"I AM ONE OF THE BAND MEMBERS," I ANNOUNCED.
"WHY DON'T YOU TALK LIKE THE OTHER BAND MEMBERS?"
"i HAVE HAD SOME EXPERIENCES OF LATE. I HAVE SUSTAINED SOME MAJOR DAMAGE. IT IS VITAL THAT I SEE DAVETT."
"A BAD TRIP, HUH? THERE HAS BEEN SOME BAD STUFF GOING AROUND LATELY. I HEAR IT'S COMING FROM THE EASTSIDE."
I DUG THROUGH MY ORGANIC MEMORY OF THE DEGENERATE LANGUAGE AND RESPONDED. "YEAH, YOU MIGHT SAY THAT, BUD."
THERE WAS NO FURTHER ARGUMENT. I WAS ALLOWED ENTRANCE. THE PLACE WAS A LARGE SMOKE FILLED ROOM. FOUR STRANGE PSYCHEDELIC DALEKS WERE ON THE STAGE AT THE FAR WALL. THE POSTER HAD SHOWN FIVE DALEKS. MAYBE THIS DALEK, WHOSE CASING I WAS USING, WAS THE MISSING MEMBER. WHAT A COINCIDENCE! EACH OF THESE DALEKS DID HIS OWN THING. ONE THE DALEKS MADE PECULIAR WHINES COME FROM A CIRCUIT BOARD. THE SECOND DALEK BOUNCED BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN A SERIES OF METAL GARBAGE CANS. EACH CAN MUST HAVE CONTAINED VARIOUS SUBSTANCES AT VARYING AMOUNTS. EACH CAN GAVE A DIFFERENT SOUND. SOME OF THE CANS GAVE OFF DIFFERENT COLOR SMOKES AND SMELLS. THE THIRD MEMBER SHOT OFF HARMLESS LASERS OF DIFFERENT COLORS AND DESIGNS. A SMOKE CAME OFF OF THIS LASER, TOO. IT ALSO HAD A PECULIAR ODOR. THE FOURTH DALEK ROLLED BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE STAGE. SCREAMS OF DELIGHT FOLLOWED HIM, AS DID THE GREEN BUBBLES FROM HIS GUN CANNON. HE WAS THE ONE WHO SCREECHED THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE LYRICS.
I MOVED THROUGH THE CROWD OF DALEKS, THAT BOUNCED OFF EACH OTHER. SOME OF THE DALEKS DID CASE JUMPING. I MADE A SUDDEN STOP AS ONE DALEK JUMPED FROM HIS CASING TO ANOTHER CASING. HE MISSED AND HIT THE WALL, WHERE HE SLID DOWN TO THE FLOOR WITH A LOUD SQUISH. A ROPE WITH A HOOK ON THE END OF IT CAME SLITHERING OUT OF THE TARGET CASING. THE NAKED DALEK ON THE FLOOR WRAPPED HIS TENTACLES AROUND IT AND WAS REELED IN. THIS WAS TRUE INSANITY. THIS MUST BE A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE BROUGHT ON BY THOSE DUNKIN DONUTS I HAD ACQUIRED AT THE RODENT'S LAST PIT STOP. THIS WOULD EXPLAIN THE THAL CITY, THE HIPPIE DALEKS, AND THE WHOLE CITY.
ON STAGE A LOUD EXPLOSION CAME FROM THE CIRCUIT BOARDS. THE GARBAGE CANS WERE KNOCKED OVER AND THE CHEMICALS MIXED TO CAUSE ANOTHER EXPLOSION. SPARKS FLEW FROM THE LASER DALEK. AN ENORMOUS BUBBLE EMITTED FROM THE LEADER DALEK. IT BROKE FREE AND FLOATED OVER THE AUDIENCE, THEN POPPED, SHOWERING THE AUDIENCE WITH CONFETTI. THE DALEKS ON STAGE DISAPPEARED. I MOVED THROUGH THE CHAOS. I WENT BEHIND THE STAGE. I MET LITTLE RESISTANCE.
"HEY, GROOVY GRISMAR! WHERE'VE YOU BEEN, DALEK!" I HEARD FROM THE BACK ROOM.
I ROLLED TO THE DOORWAY COVERED BY A CURTAIN OF CHEAP PLASTIC BEADS OF MANY COLORS. I PAID IT NO HEED. WEIRDER THINGS HAD INSULTED MY SENSES ALREADY. I ROLLED INTO THE SMALL ROOM, THAT WAS DENSE WITH SMOKE AND WEIRD FUMES. I WAS SHOWERED WITH A FOUR GUN FLOWER POWER SALUTE. THINGS COULD NOT GET ANY STRANGER!
"GRISMAR! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, DALEK BUD! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER WHEN YOU TRIED TO SMOKE THAT LIVE VARGA PLANT!" THE GARBAGE CAN BANGER EXCLAIMED.
"YOU MEAN THE MOBILE POISONOUS VAMPIRIC VARGA PLANT?" I REMARKED SLOWLY. WHAT KIND OF A LUNATIC WAS THIS GROOVY GRISMAR! THE VARGA PLANT WERE CACTUS LIKE CREATURES, THAT WE, THE DALEKS, CREATED TO KEEP ORGANIC CREATURES AWAY FROM US WHEN WE WERE INVOLVED IN IMPORTANT BUSINESS. THE THORN OF THE VARGA PLANT WOULD SLOWLY TURN THE ORGANIC BEING INTO ANOTHER VARGA. GROOVY GRISMAR WAS TRYING TO SMOKE ONE OF THESE WHILE HE WAS STILL ALIVE!
"YEAH," THE GARBAGE CAN DALEK REPLIED, "IT DIDN'T TAKE TOO KINDLY TO YOUR TORCH EITHER."
"AND YOU WERE SHISH-KABOOB DALEK, TOO!" CIRCUIT BOARD DALEK ADDED.
"I AM NOT WHAT I APPEAR TO BE," I ANSWERED, RECOVERING FROM THE SHOCK, "I HAVE COME TO SPEAK WITH DAVETT."
"YEAH, WHAT'S YOUR POINT, GRISMAR?" ASKED THE SINGING BUBBLING DALEK, "WHO HERE IS WHAT HE SEEMS, GRISMAR? ESPECIALLY YOU. NO ONE CAN REMAINED THE SAME AFTER YOUR VAST FLEMOMATIC PINGOMATIC EXPERIENCES."
"ARE YOU STILL ABLE TO DO THOSE ELECTRIFYING SQUEALS," CIRCUIT BOARD ASKED, "I REALIZE THAT THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE MAJORLY PAINFUL. I'LL ADMIT YOU'VE GOT NERVE TO DO THOSE THINGS WITHOUT KILLING THE COMPUTER FIRST."
"NO, YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I AM FROM THE OUTSIDE," I ANSWERED.
"WELL, THE VARGA PLANT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN OUT OF THE BODY EXPERIENCE IN A MAJOR WAY. WE'LL HAVE TO CONVERSE WITH PRANNALAGER AND HER GNARLY GROUP ABOUT THIS. THAT IS, AFTER SHE CONTACTS THE SPIRIT OF DAVROS FROM THE DEAD."
I PAUSED AND COCKED MY EYESTALK AT HIM. "DAVROS IS NOT DEAD," I ANSWERED.
"OF COURSE, HE'S NOT!" LASER DALEK ANSWERED, "HE LIVES ON IN US ALL."
"NO," I RETURNED SLOWLY, "HE IS THE EMPEROR DALEK."
"THAT WOULD EXPLAIN HER LACK OF SUCCESS IN FINDING HIM, YOU KNOW," LASER DALEK COMMENTED.
"YOU AREN'T A WAY COOL DALEK, ARE YOU. YOU ARE ONE OF THEM!" EXCLAIMED CIRCUIT BOARD DALEK.
"YES. THROUGH AN ACCIDENT, I HAVE BEEN GENETICALLY ALTERED. I HAVE BECOME ONE OF YOU . . . SOMEWHAT."
"WHERE'S GRISMAR?" GARBAGE CAN DALEK ASKED.
"I BELIEVE HE IS DEAD."
"YOU KILLED HIM AND STOLE HIS CASING!" CIRCUIT BOARD DALEK EXCLAIMED.
"NO. I DID NOT KILL HIM. HE WAS GONE WHEN I TOOK THIS CASING. I WOULD ACCESS THAT THE VARGA PLANT DID HIM IN. IMPALEMENT IS A HARD THING TO LIVE THROUGH," I ANSWERED.
"HE'S GOT A POINT THERE," THE SINGER ADDED.
"I SAY WE ASK PRANNALAGER," LASER DALEK SAID.
"LET ME EXPLAIN," I SUGGESTED. THE FOUR DALEK CONVERGED IN A CIRCLE ON ME.
"ROLL ON," SAID THE SINGER, "LET'S HEAR OF THE RISE AND FALL OF OUT MOST BODACIOUS BUD GROOVY GRISMAR AND THE GLORIOUS COMING OF WHATEVER YOU CALL YOURSELF. MAY YOU BE MOST WORTHY OF THE CASING YOU WEAR."
SO, I STARTED MY LONG AND COMPLEX STRANGE TALE WITH MANY A "WAY COOL!", "TUBULAR', AND "NIFTY". WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE THE SINGER INTRODUCED THE BAND TO ME. HE WAS DAVETT. THE GARBAGE CAN BANGER WAS FRIZBOTE. THE LASER DALEK WAS BRIMBOTBUBULAT. THE CIRCUIT BOARDER WAS GLIMMER GLOT. SANITY WAS NOT A COMMON COMMODITY IN THIS CIVILIZATION, AND THEY WANTED TO INTRODUCE ME TO MORE INSANITY. I DECLINED. I HAD HOPED TO DO AWAY WITH THE CLASSIFICATION OF EMPIRICAL DALEK, BUT I WANTED TO KEEP SOME VESTIGE OF MY DALEKHOOD.
SO, THE FIVE OF US AGREED TO TRY AND THIS VENTURE I HAD IN MIND. WE WERE GOING TO INFILTRATE THE EMPIRE AS A PARTY, THAT I HAD LEFT SO LONG AGO. WE FOUND A GOOD USE FOR THE HUMANOIDS IN MY PARTY. THEY WERE CAPTIVES, WHO HAD A PLAN TO SEEK OUT AND DESTROY THE EMPIRE. WE NEEDED TO GET DETAILS OUT OF THEM. SO, WE BROUGHT THEM TO THE CITY FOR INTERROGATION. THE REAL REASON WE NEEDED THEM WAS NONE OF US HAD A CLUE AS TO HOW TO BREAK INTO THE MASTER COMPUTER. TALAR MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT, EVEN IF SHE WAS A THAL. MEANWHILE, I WAS GOING TO DISTRACT THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS WITH THAT FILM FROM VAROS. THIS GREATLY DISTRESSES MY DALEK COMPANIONS. THEY WERE ALSO VERY FOND OF THE DOCTOR. IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO CONVINCE THEM THAT THE DOCTOR WAS NOT DEAD, AND PRANNALAGER DID NOT HAVE TO SUMMON HIS SPIRIT EITHER. I FOUND OUT THAT THESE DALEKS WERE NOT PROGRAMMED TO FEEL THE SAME ABOUT HUMANOIDS AS I WAS PROGRAMMED TO FEEL. IT DID NOT REALLY MATTER THAT I HAD THIS GROUP OF HUMANOIDS WAITING FOR ME, AND I REALLY HAD NO INTENTIONS OF HAVING THEM DAMAGED IN THE COURSE OF THIS VENTURE. THE INFORMATION THAT TWO OF MY COMPANIONS WERE THALS DID NOT BOTHER THEM EITHER. I GOT A LINE FROM BRIMBOTBUBULAT, "THALS CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MISTAKES THAT THEIR PARENTS MADE." I THOUGHT ON THIS A MOMENT. I STILL HATED THE @#$%^&* THALS!
WE PICKED UP PRANNALAGER. PRANNALAGER WAS THAT STRANGE ELUSIVE THING CALLED A FEMALE DALEK. I CAME TO FIND OUT THAT SOME YEARS AGO THESE DALEKS HAD MANAGED TO BREAK INTO THE EMPIRICAL CITY AND THE GENETIC INCUBATION UNITS TO CREATE THE FEMALE DALEK. THEY HAD NOT THE RESOURCES OR TECHNOLOGICAL KNOW HOW TO CREATE NEW SPAWN BY GENETICS. GLIMMER GLOT EXPLAINED THAT "BESIDES, THE FEMALE DALEK IS MUCH MORE INTERESTING WAY OF CREATING NEW SPAWN!" THERE WAS ABOUT ONE FEMALE DALEK TO ABOUT EVERY SIX DALEKS. UNLIKE HUMANOID CULTURE, THERE WAS NO MARRIAGE. A FEMALE DALEK MATED WITH WHOM SHE WISHED AND AS MANY MALES AS SHE WISHED. PRANNALAGER WAS DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSION'S FEMALE. THE OFFSPRING OF THESE MATINGS WERE A COMMUNAL RESPONSIBILITY. THE CHILDREN WERE GIVEN MOBILE UNITS AS SOON AS THEY REACHED THE PROPER INTELLIGENCE LEVEL. I WONDERED HOW DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS HAD EVER ACQUIRED THEIR CASINGS!
PRANNALAGER WAS WHAT THE OTHERS CALLED A NEW AGE DALEK. SHE TOLD US MANY THINGS ABOUT SPIRITUAL THINGS AND ASTRAL PLANES. I NOW UNDERSTOOD THE RELATION SHE HAD WITH DAVETT AND HIS BAND. NONE OF THEM WERE QUITE ON SKARO. SHE WOULD NOT BELIEVE ME THAT DAVROS WAS NOT DEAD. SHE WOULD FIND OUT THE TRUTH SOON ENOUGH.
TO DAVETT'S GREAT DISMAY, I INSISTED UPON NORMAL CASINGS. I FINALLY CONVINCED HIM THAT THIS WAS THE BEST WAY WE COULD SNEAK INTO PASSAH UNNOTICED. SO, THE SIX OF US GOT FITTED WITH NEW CASINGS. THE OLD ONES WERE PUT IN STORAGE. FRIZBOTE BROUGHT ALONG HIS FURRY DICE. THESE WERE NOT EXACTLY THE FURRY DICE OF EARTH CULTURE, BUT THEY WERE USED FOR THE SAME PURPOSE. THEY WERE POLYGONS OF A SMALL SIZE AND HARD MATERIAL WITH A STICKY SUBSTANCE AND ROLLED IN DUST BUNNIES. THESE WERE HIS GOOD LUCK CHARMS. THAT PIECE OF INFORMATION SURPASSED MY LOGIC CIRCUITS. PRANNALAGER BROUGHT HER POWER CRYSTALS, SO THAT SHE COULD STAY IN TUNE WITH THE SPIRIT OF SKARO. WE CONVINCED HER THAT THIRTY WAS A BIT TOO MANY, AND SHE WOULD SUSPICIOUSLY CLANK IN THE EMPIRE. SO, SHE FINALLY AGREED TO BRING ONLY THREE.
MY NEW CASING HAD A NORMAL COMPUTER IN IT. THIS WOULD NOT CAUSE ME THE BRAIN DAMAGE THAT GRISMAR'S COMPUTER PROMISED. DAVROS ONLY KNOWS WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE IF I INTERFACED WITH THAT COMPUTER. THE SIX OF US REJOINED MY WAITING GROUP OUTSIDE THE CITY. WE WERE READY FOR THE FINAL STAGE OF MY PLAN.
HOLIDAY ON SKARO PART 3
WE RETURNED TO SKARO. THIS WAS MY PRIMARY MISSION. NOTHING THAT THAT IRRITATING TIME LADY THE RODENT SIS WAS SUCCESSFUL. IT WAS NOT BAD ENOUGH THAT I TRAVELED WITH A DITZY TIME LADY, BUT I ALSO HAD TO TRAVEL WITH A BACKWARD COMPUTER DOG, A MALFUNCTIONING TIME MACHINE, A SELF RIGHTEOUS VAMPIRE (WHO FAR TOO OFTEN PUT ME AT TEMPORARY SET BACKS OF BRUTE STRENGTH. HIS INTELLIGENCE COULD NEVER MATCH MY OWN.), AND A HUMANOID CREATURE OF UNKNOWN ORIGINS (BUT QUITE A GOOD COOK. THIS QUALITY APPEALED TO THE ORGANIC SIDE OF ME.). OUT OF LACK OF SUPERIOR INTELLECT, THAT TIME LADY, THE RODENT, DECIDED TO PUT THE THALS AT MY DISPOSAL. I WAS OPPOSED TO THIS IDEA FROM THE START. K-9 ONLY WAGGED HIS TAIL. K-9 AGREED WITH ANYTHING. NO INCENTIVE REQUIRED.
THROUGH A DEVASTATING DISASTER, I FOUND MY ORGANIC FORM IN A MOST INFERIOR AND DEGRADING CASING OF A LONG DEAD DALEK. JUST WHEN I CAME TO BELIEVE THAT THINGS COULD NOT GET WORSE, I FOUND MYSELF ON THE STOOP OF A THAL'S APARTMENT SURROUNDED BY MUTOS!
GARKOE, THE WITLESS THAL ALLY, TRIED DESPERATELY TO OPEN THE APARTMENT DOOR WITH A KEY CARD. AFTER THE FIRST COUPLE OF ATTEMPTS HE SHOULD HAVE REALIZED THAT HIS FUTURE ATTEMPTS WOULD BE FUTILE. LIKE THE INFERIOR CREATURE THAT ALL THALS HAVE FOREVER BEEN, HE KEPT TRYING WITH A FEW OTHER ADJUSTMENTS . . . CURSING AND POUNDING. WHAT A WASTE OF ENERGY1 THIS LEFT OUR SURVIVAL TO THAT SMUG VAMPIRE ALANDIS AND ME WITH MY VAST SUPERIOR DALEK TECHNOLOGY.
I MOVED BEFORE MY FRANTIC INFERIOR HUMANOID COMPANIONS, TOOK AIM WITH MY BLASTER, AND I HIT THE CONTROLS, THAT I BELIEVED WAS THE BLASTER CONTROLS. IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE BLASTER CONTROLS. WITH THIS DALEK, IT WAS NOT A CERTAINTY. MOST DALEK CASINGS WERE MADE THE SAME WAY. THIS DALEK WAS A REBEL, AND HE OBVIOUSLY HAD DONE SOME REMODELING. THE BLASTER DID REACT WITH MY TOUCH. THIS THING MALFUNCTIONED. INSTEAD OF A DEADLY RAY OF ENERGY, LITTLE PINK AND WHITE FLOWERS POPPED OUT. THIS WAS THE PROPER PLACE AND TIME TO SHRIEK A CURSE!
THE FLOWERS, FLOATING DOWN ON THE MUTOS, DID CAUSE A REACTION. THE MUTOS STOPPED THEIR PURSUITS OF US AND DID AN ORGANIC THING. THEY GAVE GREAT WIDE SMILES AND BEGAN TO LAUGH UNCONTROLLABLY. THIS GAVE ALANDIS TO DISPOSE OF THEM. MEANWHILE, GARKOE CONTINUED WITH THE LOCK. THE RODENT AND MIRIEL TRIED TO HELP THE DISGRUNTLED THAL.
"What this number?" MIRIEL ASKED AS SHE POINTED TO THE FOUR DIGIT NUMBER ON THE CARD.
"My apartment number," HE ANSWERED.
"Shouldn't it match the number on the door?" SHE ASKED.
GARKOE GAVE ONE OF THE HUMANOID EXPRESSIONS OF STUPIDITY. "This isn't my apartment!" HE USELESSLY EXCLAIMED.
I WORKED ON THE CONTROLS OF THE CASING AND UPPED MY BLASTER TO ITS NEXT LEVEL. THE MUTOS APPROACHED AGAIN. I FIRED. THE MUTOS PAUSED AND BEGAN TO SNEEZE ON THE BUBBLES THAT ISSUED FORTH. ALANDIS TOOK THEM OUT AGAIN.
THE RODENT PLAYED WITH HER YO-YO, THAT SHE HAD MANAGED TO FIND IN HER POCKETS. GARKOE SLAPPED HIS FOREHEAD. I WANTED TO HIT HIM WITH SOMETHING HARDER. HE EXCLAIMED, "Talar!"
HE PRESSED A BUTTON ON THE DOOR, THAT RESPONDED WITH A SOFT MELODY. THE THIRD GROUP OF MUTOS APPROACHED. I MOVED MY BLASTER TO FULL POWER AND SHOT. THE MUTOS SWAYED AND STAGGERED. THERE WAS A HARDY CHORUS OF "WHOAAAAH!", THEN THEY COLLAPSED IN A PILE. THEY WERE NOT OBLITERATED, BUT THEY WERE IN A FIRM STUPOR. THEY WOULD GIVE US NO TROUBLE.
A COUPLE OF MINUTES PASSED. THE MUTANTS DID NOT RECOVER FROM MY BLAST. THEY CONTINUED TO ROLL ABOUT WITH SMILES AND LAUGHTER. HOW UNUSUAL? WHAT WAS THIS HIGH LEVEL ON THIS GUN? THE DOOR TO APARTMENT FINALLY SLIDE OPEN. A THAL WOMAN, IN CASUAL CLOTHES, CAUTIOUSLY LOOKED AT US. K-9 MADE THE APPROPRIATE ELECTRONICAL NOISES FROM BEHIND HER.
"What are you doing at my door?" SHE ASKED AS SHE BLOCKED THE ENTRANCE.
"I . . . uh . . . well, . . . you see, . . . " GARKOE BEGAN AS HIS FACE TURNED SEVERAL SHADES OF RED.
"He made a boo-boo, and now we are here," ANSWERED THE RODENT.
"This is most irregular. I don't just let anyone into my apartment!" SHE ANSWERED.
ALANDIS TURNED ME ABOUT SO THAT I COULD NOT BLAST THIS THAL (AND TAKE GARKOE OUT WITH HER).
"We are K-9's owners," MIRIEL ANSWERED.
"Yeah, we came to see him," THE RODENT ADDED, "He's a bit arachnophobic, and he needs our support."
"What's this arachnophobic?" SHE ASKED.
"Don't worry," ALANDIS ANSWERED, "It's not contagious, but we do need to administer treatment right away."
SHE STOOD UP AND SHOOK OUT HER LONG BLONDE HAIR. I WAS NOT SURE OF THE MEANING OF THIS ACTION, BUT GARKOE HAD A MOST UNUSUAL REACTION. HE TURNED A BIT REDDER AND PASSED OUT. THE FIVE OF US LOOKED DOWN AT HIM. ALANDIS SIGHED AND SLUNG HIM OVER HIS UNCONSCIOUS BODY OVER HIS SHOULDER. I, FOR ONE, WAS WILLING TO LEAVE HIM OUT ON THE STOOP.
SO, WE ALL GAINED ENTRANCE TO HER APARTMENT WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY. MY EYESTALK TURNED TO THE RODENT. "WHEN DID K-9 BECOME AFRAID OF SPIDERS?"
"I didn't know he was afraid of spiders. What gave you that idea?"
ALANDIS SHOOK HIS HEAD. "Nevermind," HE SAID.
"WHERE IS MY PROGRAM FOR THE DALEK CITY?" I ASKED STRAIGHT TO THE POINT.
"Oh!" TALAR EXCLAIMED, "Come. I'll show you. I've been busily at work on it. What an excellent idea of Garkoe's to bring you to my apartment. I can now confirm the proper purpose you had in mind with this program. Not to mention, you can teach me about rebel dalek programming."
"I DO NOT WANT A THAL TINKERING WITH MY PROGRAMMING! THIS CASING IS BAD ENOUGH!"
"Ah, sure you do! We may be able to discover all kinds of goodies together!" SHE LOOKED AROUND AT THE OTHER FOUR. GARKOE HAD UNFORTUNATELY WOKE UP. "Make yourselves comfortable. There are insty meals in the cupboard."
"Somehow that doesn't sound very appetizing," MUTTERED MIRIEL.
"Food!" EXCLAIMED THE RODENT AS SHE HAPPILY RAN TO THE CUPBOARD AND CAME UP WITH A HALF GALLON JUG OF CAPSULES. SHE PULLED BACK WITH A FROWN.
"Add water," GARKOE INFORMED HER.
"Oh," SHE ANSWERED. SHE OPENED THE JAR AND TOOK IT TO THE WATER FACET. SHE FILLED THE JAR WITH WATER. AN OMINOUS NOISE FILLED THE ROOM, FOLLOWED BY AN EXPLOSION. I TURNED MY EYESTALK BACK TO HER. GOOP WAS SPLATTERED EVERYWHERE OVER THE ENTIRE KITCHEN AND THE RODENT. SHE LICKED HER FINGERS AND SAID, "Not bad."
ALANDIS SMACKED HIS FOREHEAD WITH THE PALM OF HIS HAND IN EXASPERATION. RASSILON RAT MADE ONE OF HIS GRAND APPEARANCES. WITH AN EXCLAMATION OF PURE JOY, HE JUMPED INTO THE ACCUMULATED MESS AND ATE THE SLOP.
MIRIEL GAVE A FAINT SMILE AND BEGAN TO CLEAN THE MESS. ALANDIS ASSISTED HER. BEING THE SUPERIOR SPECIES THAT I AM, I SLITHERED OUT OF MY CASING AND JOINED RASSILON ON THE FLOOR. OUT OF MY FIVE REGULAR COMPANIONS, HE WAS BY FAR THE CLOSEST TO MY SUPREME INTELLECT.
GARKOE GAVE A NERVOUS SMILE AND LOOKED TO TALAR. "They ae aliens, after all."
FINALLY, EVERYONE, INCLUDING RASSILON AND MYSELF, WERE SATED. I CRAWLED BACK INTO MY CASING. IN A RELAXED STATE, I WAS WILLING TO LET MY BANQUET DIGEST WHILE THE REST FINISHED THEIR TASK AT HAND. THE RODENT LEFT FOR A SHOWER.
AFTER A COUPLE OF HOURS OF WORK, TALAR HAD THE AUDACITY TO BANG ON THE LID OF MY CASING. I BLASTED HER WITH THE FLOWER POWER. SHE SMILED AND SUPPRESSED THE LAUGHTER . I WOULD HATE TO USE THE MAXIMUM RAY ON HER. I DID WANT INFORMATION ON MY PROGRAM. SHE MOTIONED FOR ME TO COME INTO THE COMPUTER ROOM.
"I would think your best bet would be to contact the rebel daleks. Your casing will serve you well in this," SHE TOLD ME.
"DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MY PURPOSE?! INFILTRATING THE DALEK REBEL CITY IS THE CORE OF MY PLAN, YOU @#$%^&* THAL!"
"Other than vast death, devastation, and domination over what's left."
"A GOOD SMORGASBORD WOULD NOT HURT MATTERS ANY!" I ANSWERED.
"You just ate!"
"THAT WAS A MERE APPETIZER!"
GARKOE SMILED. "I see how he got to be a fat dalek."
"SHUT UP, THAL!" I RETORTED.
TALAR SHOOK HER HEAD. "Enough of all the nonsense," SHE SAID. NEVERMIND SHE WAS THE ONE WHO STARTED IT. SHE TURNED TO ME. "It would be quite helpful if you would interface with the computer with the computer of your shell."
'THIS CASING IS MOST IRREGULAR. INTERFACING COULD CAUSE SERIOUS DAMAGE TO MY ORGANIC SELF." ALTHOUGH I HAD NOT INTERFACED WITH THE COMPUTERS, THE BASIC LIFE SUPPORT SYSTEMS, SPEECH SYSTEMS, AND WEAPONRY SYSTEMS WERE AVAILABLE TO ME. THESE WERE THE MOST FUNDAMENTAL ELEMENTS OF DALEK LIFE. I DID NOT NEED THE COMPUTER FOR THESE. I JUST FELT THAT THE INFORMATION THAT THIS DALEK HAD TO OFFER WAS NOT OF ANY PRACTICAL USE.
"He's just scared," REMARKED ALANDIS FROM THE DOORWAY.
"I AM A DALEK. DALEKS FEAR NO MUTATED INFERIOR DALEKS."
"Yeah, right!"
"I CAN PROVE MY POINT WITH ONE SERIOUS BLAST."
ALANDIS LAUGHED. "With your almighty flower power?"
"I CAN EASILY SHIFT MY LASER TO MAXIMUM."
"I am not afraid of you. I was blasted twice within my first day on Skaro. Nothing you can do to me will frighten me."
"I DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THAT."
TALAR CLEARED HER THROAT. "We know little of dalek culture," THE THAL COMMENTED, "We know even less about the rebel daleks. I have been able to access some information through my own computers from the Empirical City, but the rebel daleks have less logic, so their codes are rather hard to crack than normal dalek codes of entry. With the lack of proper data, I cannot guarantee you safe passage into the dalek city."
"I WILL NOT BE MISTAKEN FOR AN EMPIRICAL DALEK IN SUCH A CASING!"
"I'm not sure the normal rebel daleks would accept such a casing," SHE COMMENTED.
"EXPLAIN."
"Your casing suggests a sub-group of the rebel daleks. The bright colors and strange symbols seem to be unique to this dalek. We have never captured another one such as this one. Most of the rebel daleks have standard colors, red, black, or grey."
"I WILL ACQUIRE A NEW CASING. I REFUSE TO BE TAKEN AS A JOKE. SHUT UP, ALANDIS!"
"Ooooooo! I tremble in fear," THE VAMPIRE ANSWERED.
"Rebel daleks go by names, not numbers."
"THE RODENT CALLS ME MIKEY."
"You accept this?"
"IT IS EASIER FOR THE HUMANOIDS TO SAY AND REMEMBER. IT IS THEREFORE EFFICIENT."
"I have made several adjustments to your program. I could possibly download it into the Empirical Daleks main computer if I knew the pass words and the routes."
"I PLAN TO GIVE THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS A NEW DIRECTIVE. I DO NOT PLAN TO BETRAY THEM TO OUR ARCH ENEMIES THE THALS."
"Besides, he doesn't know it or have the ability to find out anyway," ALANDIS ADDED, "He's a scout dalek."
"WHAT MAKES YOU SO KNOWLEDGEABLE ABOUT MY STATUS, SMARTY PANTS?" I RETURNED.
"I dislike computers and technology, but I am not incapable. Sturd kept records of us," HE ANSWERED, "I destroyed them before we left. It would not do for the sontarans to know about either of our races."
"I AM A SUPERIOR SCOUT!" I CONCLUDED.
"How do you plan to establish your program?" TALAR ASKED.
"I WILL MAKE CONTACT WITH THE REBEL DALEKS. WE WILL INFILTRATE THE EMPIRICAL DALEK HEADQUARTERS. I WILL DISTRACT THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS WITH MY SPECIAL VIDEO. THE REBEL DALEKS WILL INSTALL THE PROGRAM."
"The rebel daleks are far less advanced than the Empirical Daleks. They may not know how to get into the computers of the Empirical Daleks, muchless load a program into it," SHE REPLIED.
"THALS ARE LESS ADVANCED THAN DALEKS," I RETURNED.
"I don't know about the truth of that statement with the rebel daleks, but you will see. Will this video be of interest to the Empirical Daleks?"
"AFFIRMATIVE AND DOUBLE AFFIRMATIVE. THE RODENT TOOK US TO AN INTERESTING PLACE CALLED VAROS, WHERE I PURCHASED THIS SPECIAL VIDEO. TWICE EVEN. IT IS FOOTAGE OF THE TORTURE AND DEATH OF THE DALEKS' ARCH ENEMY THE DOCTOR."
"And did you do this to the Doctor?"
THE SHOCK AND GRIEF ON HER FACE MADE THIS WHOLE DAY WORTHWHILE. "THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS DO NOT KNOWN THAT I DID NOT."
"The Doctor is truly dead?"
I HATED TO BREAK THE MOMENT. "NEGATIVE."
"But the video?"
"IT APPEARS TO SHOW HIS TORTURE AND HIS EXECUTION. I HAVE RECENTLY SEEN THE DOCTOR AFTER HIS ENDURANCE OF THIS VIDEO. WE ATE TOGETHER. HE IS NOT WHAT THE COMPUTER BANK HAVE TOLD ME. WE SHARE A SIMILAR INTEREST IN FOOD. STILL, THE VIDEO PROVES ENTERTAINING. SO DOES THE ONE OF ALANDIS' EXECUTION."
ALANDIS MADE A CRUDE GESTURE.
"The Doctor is a Thal hero."
"AND THAT IS SUPPOSE TO BE A GOOD THING?"
SHE SHOOK HER HEAD. SHE PUT THE PROGRAM ON A DISC. SHE GAVE ME THIS DISC AND A CRUDE MAP OF THE REBEL DALEK CITY. THIS COULD PROVE USEFUL. FOR A BEING WHO CLAIMED TO KNOW LITTLE OF THIS DALEK CITY, SHE PROVED TO BE MOST INFORMATIVE. I MOVED BACK TO THE LIVING ROOM. MIRIEL WAS SLEEPING PEACEFULLY ON THE COUCH. THE RODENT WAS ON THE FLOOR WITH ONE FOOT UNDER A CHAIR AND THE OTHER OVER MIRIEL'S ANKLES ON THE COUCH. SHE SNORED LOUDLY WITH RASSILON ON HER STOMACH CURLED UP AND ASLEEP. K-9 WAS HAVING AN ANIMATED COMPUTER CONVERSATION WITH THE MICROWAVE. THIS WOULD NOT SEEM SO UNUSUAL, EXCEPT THE COMPUTER HAD NO COMPUTER BRAIN. OF COURSE, THIS WAS K-9. HE NEEDED NO INTELLECTUAL RESPONSE. GARKOE FOUND A CHAIR AND FOOT STOOL, WHERE HE DROPPED INTO AND FELL PROMPTLY ASLEEP. ALANDIS FOUND A DARK CORNER AND SAT IN MEDITATION. TALAR WENT TO HER BED. SINCE ALL WAS SAID AND DONE FOR THE DAY, I SHUT ALL SYSTEMS DOWN.
WITH MUCH CONVINCING, THREATS, AND MY DALEK SUPERIORITY, MY HELPERS WERE CONVINCED THAT THE BEST WAY FOR THE JOB TO BE DONE RIGHT WOULD BE FOR ME TO GO ALONE. HOW WOULD THEY THINK THE DALEKS WOULD GREET THEM. I MERELY TOLERATE THEM. IT WAS MOST INADVISABLE FOR ME TO BE SEEN IN A DALEK CITY WITH INFERIOR HUMANOIDS. SO, TALAR AND GARKOE, ALONG WITH THE REST OF THE CREW LED ME TO THE MOUTH OF A CAVE. WE AGREED TO MEET BACK HERE IN THREE DAYS TIME.
KRAMA LI, THE REBEL DALEK LAY SEVERAL MILES UNDERGROUND. THE PATH WAS SOMEWHAT MECHANICALLY TRODDEN. I MANAGED WITH LITTLE DIFFICULTY. I CAME TO THE MAIN GATE. TWO GUARDS STOOD, ONE TO EACH SIDE OF THE GATE. THEY WERE IN RED CASINGS. THIS COLOR WAS A SYMBOL OF AUTHORITY. MANY THINGS WERE DIFFERENT IN KRAMA LI FROM PASSAH, BUT THE COLOR COORDINATION WAS THE SAME SO FAR.
ONE OF THE MANY STRANGE . . . EMOTIONS . . . WASHED OVER MY BEING SINCE I HAVE MET THE RODENT. SINCE I HAVE BEEN . . . CONTAMINATED BY WEAK EMOTIONS, I HAVE NOT MET ANOTHER
LIVE DALEK. I WAS PLEASED WITH THE FEEL OF THIS EMOTION. IT WAS EVEN BETTER THAN THE BAG OF TWELVE WASTE CASTLE HAMBURGERS I GOT LAST WEEK! I SUPPRESSED THE . . . JOY. I HELD ONTO MY DALEKHOOD. AS A MEMBER OF THE SUPREME RACE OF THE UNIVERSE, THIS WAS MY DUTY.
"AND WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" ONE OF THE DALEK GUARDS DEMANDED.
"I HAVE RECEIVED SOME DAMAGE FROM THE MUTOS. I HAVE DONE SOME REPAIRS. I RETURN HOME."
"YOU TALK STRANGELY FOR THE UNDERGROWTH OF SOCIETY," REMARKED THE SECOND DALEK.
"I AM STILL IN THE PROCESS OF REPAIRS."
THE TWO GUARDS RELAYED MESSAGES PRIVATELY BETWEEN THEMSELVES IN SILENT COMPUTER LANGUAGE. I COULD NOT UNDERSTAND THEIR LANGUAGE, AND I WAS STILL HESITANT ABOUT MERGING WITH THE COMPUTER BANKS OF THIS CASING. IN THE EMPIRE, ALL DALEKS COULD ACCESS ALL OTHER DALEK MESSAGES. THERE WAS NO NEED FOR SECRECY FROM EACH OTHER. WE WERE OF ONE MIND, ONE PURPOSE. WE WOULD DO ANYTHING THAT THE EMPEROR DALEK WOULD ORDER, FOR HE WAS THE WHOLE MEANING OF DALEKHOOD. I FOUND THESE TWO DALEKS' REACTION STRANGE. THERE WAS NO REAL NEED FOR COMPUTER LANGUAGE. MY HUMANOID COMPANIONS WERE NOT WITH ME.
"WE WILL ALLOW YOU TO ENTER THE CITY AGAIN. THIS IS BECAUSE WE NEED AS MANY DALEKS AS POSSIBLE TO SURVIVE. WE MAY HELP YOUR DEGENERATE WAYS YET. DAVROS ONLY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR SOCIETY TO CREATE SUCH A DEGENERATION."
I WAS ALLOWED TO PASS BETWEEN THE TWO DALEKS INTO THE REBEL CITY. AH, CIVILIZATION AT LAST! HERE, AT LEAST, EVERYTHING WAS CREATED AT THE PROPER ANGLES. SHINING METAL WAS THE SUBSTANCE OF THE WALKS AND THE BUILDINGS. THE LIGHTS WERE DIM. DALEKS DO NOT NEED MUCH LIGHT LIKE THE FRAIL HUMANOIDS. WE DO NOT EXPEND MUCH ENERGY INTO LIGHTING. ALTHOUGH THERE WAS A VAST FAMILIARITY WITH THE DESIGN AND SUBSTANCE, SOME OF THE STRUCTURES I DID NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND. I BELIEVE IT WAS ATTEMPT AT ART. THE HUM OF MACHINERY PERMEATED THROUGHOUT THE METALLIC STREETS. OTHER SOUNDS MINGLED WITH THAT HUM . . . THE SOUND OF OTHER DALEKS AND MOVEMENT . . . BANGS AND CLANKS. THERE WAS ALSO THE SOUND THAT THE RODENT REFERRED TO AS MUSIC. NONE OF THIS "MUSIC" SHE EVER LISTENED TO HAD A PRACTICAL PURPOSE.
I ROLLED INTO THE CITY AND FOUND A FEW DALEKS MOVING ABOUT IN THE CITY. NONE OF THEM HAD THE ABSURD CASING THAT I HAD. THEY LOOKED LIKE NORMAL DALEKS EXCEPT FOR THEIR SIZE. CASINGS WERE A STANDARD FOUR FEET TALL AND THREE AND A QUARTER WIDE. SOME OF THESE DALEKS WERE SMALLER THAN THE STANDARD FOUR FEET AND PROPORTIONALLY WIDE. THEY RANGED FROM THE STANDARD SIZE TO ONE FOOT TALL AND PROPORTIONALLY WIDE. SOME OF THESE SMALLER DALEKS WERE ACCOMPANIED BY THE LARGER DALEKS. HOW STRANGE. AT FIRST, I THOUGHT THAT THESE SMALLER DALEKS WERE SUBSERVIENT TO THE LARGER ONES. AFTER I THOUGHT ABOUT MY TRAVELS WITH THE RODENT AND WHERE I WAS, I SOON REALIZED THAT THESE WERE UNDEVELOPED DALEKS. THEY WERE CHILDREN DALEKS SO TO SPEAK. THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS ALWAYS WAITED FOR THE YOUNG DALEKS TO REACH FULL MATURITY BEFORE A CASING WAS GIVEN, BUT THE SPAWN WERE MINDLESSLY RUTHLESS WITHOUT ANY LOGIC. THESE WERE CHILDREN LIKE THE HUMANOID CHILDREN. I ALSO SAW UNSHELLED DALEKS. I CHECKED THE RADIATION READINGS ON MY INSTRUMENTS. THESE WERE AUTOMATIC READINGS. I DID NOT HAVE TO ACCESS THE COMPUTER FOR THESE READINGS. THE RADIATION HERE WAS QUITE HIGH AND MADE THE PERFECT LIVING ENVIRONS FOR DALEKS.
THE FURTHER I TRAVELED INTO THE CITY, THE STRANGER IT BECAME. I FOUND SPRAY PAINTINGS ON THE WALLS. THEY WERE OF THE MOST PECULIAR SUBJECTS. WORDS WERE SCRAWLED ACROSS ANOTHER WALL. THEY READ IN DISTORTED DALEKIAN "KREVAR WAS HERE 15.39.174321", "DAVETT RULES". "WAY COOL DAVETT'S SQUEALS LIGHT UP MY TENTACLES", AND "WAVY DAVETT, HATCH MY SPAWN, 629". I HAD TO LOOK AT THESE FOR A LONG TIME. I CAME TO THE CONCLUSION THAT THIS IS WHAT THE RODENT REFERRED TO AS GRAFFITI.
THIS LINE ABOUT "DAVETT RULES" WAS MY MOST INFORMATIVE CLUE. I MUST FIND THIS DAVETT. HE WAS THE MOST OBVIOUS RULER OF THIS STRANGE SOCIETY.
I MOVED FURTHER INTO THE CITY. I FOUND TWO DALEKS SHOOTING SPRAY PAINT ACROSS THE STREET AT EACH OTHER. ONE SHOT RED PAINT FROM HIS GUN CANNON, AND THE OTHER SHOT BLUE. THE BUILDINGS SHOWS SIGNS OF THE OVERSHOTS. THERE WAS SIGNS OF EARLIER SUCH BATTLES WITH OTHER COLORS. BOTH DALEKS WERE SPLOTCHED WITH EACH OTHER'S COLOR. THERE WAS SIGNS OF DRY GREEN PAINT UNDERNEATH THIS NEW COAT ON EACH DALEK.
"WHERE CAN i FIND DAVETT?" I ASKED.
THE SPRAY PAINT WAR ENDED. THE EYESTALKS OF BOTH DALEKS SWUNG TOWARDS ME. "HEY, MOST BODACIOUS BUD, MOST DAR FLUNG TUBULAR GUISE. PART OF DAVETT'S SWING PATCH, YEAH?' THE RED BLUE PAINT SHOOTING DALEK EXCLAIMED.
"WHERE WILL I FIND DAVETT'S SWING PATCH?" I ASKED.
"HEY!" SAID THE BLUE RED PAINT SPRAYING DALEK, "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR SUPER SWIRLY LINGO, DALEK BUD?"
"I HAVE SUSTAINED DAMAGE. I AM WORKING ON REPAIRS AT THIS TIME." THE TWO DALEKS MOVED IN ON ME AND CIRCLED AROUND ME. I WAS TEMPTED TO CHANCE INTERFACE WITH THE COMPUTER. I COULD NOT BE FAST ENOUGH TO SAVE MYSELF FROM THESE TWO DALEKS IF THEY CHOSE TO KILL ME. "I HAVE BEEN AWAY FROM THE CITY FOR A LONG TIME. I HAVE BEEN ATTACKED BY MUTOS AND THALS," I ADDED.
"WERE YOU OUT COMMUNING WITH YOUR INNER MOST SELF AND THE SPIRIT OF SKARO WERE YOU TRYING TO FIND OUT THE GRAND PLANS THAT THE GREAT DAVROS HAD IN MIND WHEN HE CREATED THE DALEK RACE? WERE YOU TRYING TO FIND OUT THE MEANING OF OUR INDIVIDUALITY THAT THE GREAT LIBERATOR THE DOCTOR GAVE US TO SEARCH FOR?"
I WAS TAKEN ABACK. WHAT A COMBINATION OF CONTRASTS OF ICONS. DAVROS WAS HELD IN GREAT ESTEEM BY THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS. AFTER ALL, HE WAS OUR EMPEROR. THE DOCTOR WAS OUR ARCH ENEMY AND WAS TO BE EXTERMINATED ON SIGHT BY ORDERS OF THE EMPEROR.. THAT IS NOT TO SAY THAT THE SUPREME DALEK DID NOT HAVE THE SAME COMMAND. THESE DALEKS HELD BOTH BEINGS IN HIGH ESTEEM! "YOU MAY SAY THAT I HAVE BEEN SEEKING MY INDIVIDUALITY." I SOUGHT MY FAULTY ORGANIC MEMORY. I REMEMBERED ONE OF THE RODENT'S USELESS PRATTLES THAT GOT US THROUGH A TIGHT SITUATION. "I WAS TOLD BY THE VOICE IN THE HEAVENS THAT I SHOULD SEEK DAVETT. DAVETT WAS THE ANSWER THAT I SEEK."
"TUBULAR! FAR OUT ZEN, MAN!" ANSWERED THE RED PAINTED DALEK, "DAVETT IS ONE GROOVY DALEK. I KNEW HE HAD ALL THE ANSWERS. HE OFTEN RELATES HIS GREAT SPEWS OF WISDOM AT THE GNARLY NUTS AND BOLTS SWING FLING PARLOR."
"IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME," I ANSWERED, "AND MY MEMORY CIRCUITS ARE FAULTY AND DAMAGED." I REMEMBERED A LINE FROM THE RODENT HAD SAID ABOUT ALANDIS AND ME TO A STRANGER, WHO WAS OBVIOUSLY PUT OFF BY MY SUPERIOR RACE. "I HAVE SUFFERED SUNSTROKE IN THE WASTELANDS." OF COURSE, I FOUND THE STATEMENT INVALID FOR BOTH ALANDIS AND MYSELF. THE SUN HAD NO EFFECT THROUGH MY CASING, AND NOTHING AFFECTED ALANDIS. "REFRESH MY MEMORY OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF THIS SPECIAL PARLOR."
"SWING DOWN THE TOASTED SWIRLY WHIRLY AVENUE, THEN FOLLOW THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. YOU CAN'T MISS IT, DAL."
ALL THE TIME I FOUGHT TO KEEP MY SANITY DURING MY ADVENTURES WITH THE RODENT, AND I DISCOVERED THAT THESE DALEKS WERE NOT QUITE ALL THERE EITHER. HOW COULD I KEEP MY SANITY WHEN MY FELLOW DALEKS HAD ALREADY WAVED IT BYE BYE A LONG TIME AGO. THERE WAS NOTHING FOR IT. I WAS NO LONGER AN EMPIRICAL DALEK.
I MOVED ON DOWN THE STREET INTO THE CITY UNTIL A VERY DIFFERENT KIND OF STREET CROSSED MY PATH. IT WAS PAINTED WITH RED, WHITE, AND GREEN IN A WAVE PATTERN. I LOOKED TO THE LEFT. THE BUILDINGS WERE PAINTED IN THE SAME DESIGN. IT APPEARED AS THOUGH THEY JUST ROSE UP FROM THE GROUND. THE DESIGNS OF THE STREET DID NOT BREAK FOR THE BUILDINGS. THE WAVE CONTINUED ON UP THE BUILDINGS IN THE SAME HORIZONTAL PATTERNS. EVERY ONCE AND AWHILE, THE WAVE BECAME A GREAT CIRCLING DESIGN. THIS ALL HAD NO LOGICAL PURPOSE THAT I COULD DISCERN. DOORWAYS WERE HARD TO FIND DUE TO THE LACK OF THE BREAK IN PATTERN. ONE OF THE DESIGNS MOVED. I TURNED MY EYESTALK AWAY FROM THE OPTICAL ILLUSION, THEN I TURNED BACK. MORE OF THE PATTERN MOVED. IT TOOK ME A LITTLE WHILE TO REALIZE THE PATTERNS WERE ACTUALLY MOVING, BECAUSE THE DALEKS HERE WERE PAINTED THE SAME AS THE STREET AND BUILDINGS.
TO THE RIGHT, I SAW THE SAME DISORDER AND SIMILAR DALEKS. BUT IN A DIFFERENT COLOR SCHEME. THE STREET SIGN TO THE LEFT READ IN COMPUTER DIGITAL LETTERS "THE TOASTED SWIRLY WHIRLY AVENUE". THE SIGN TO THE RIGHT READ "THE GNARLY SWIRLY WHIRLY ROAD". I MOVED ONTO THE LEFT ROAD.
SEVERAL OF THE SWIRLY DALEKS MOVED ABOUT IN THE STREETS. I AM NOT SURE, BUT I BELIEVE THAT THEY WERE DANCING. STRANGE DISHARMONIC NOISE BLARED FROM THE BUILDINGS. I TOOK THIS TO BE MUSIC FOR IT SERVED NO PURPOSE, AND IT SOUNDED LIKE THE NOISE THE RODENT LIKED TO PLAY IN THE TARDIS. SHE CALLED IT MUSIC, ALANDIS AND MIRIEL ARGUED THE DEFINITION. THE DANCING DALEKS PULLED ME INTO THEIR PROMENADE. I BROKE FREE AND CONTINUED MY MISSION.
FINALLY, THE STREET CHANGED TWO WAYS. TO THE RIGHT, A YELLOW ROAD THAT WAS BADLY PAINTED TO RESEMBLE YELLOW BRICKS RAN. THE RED, GREEN, AND WHITE SWIRLY COLORS HALTED AT THE YELLOW ROAD. AFTER THE YELLOW ROAD, STRETCHING OUT INTO THE HORIZON, THE COLORS CHANGED TO PURPLE, PINK, THEN BLUE. THERE WAS NO STREET TO THE LEFT. THE THREE DESIGNS CONVERGED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD. THE SIGN ON THE CORNER READ IN DIGITAL LETTERS "THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD". I TURNED ON THIS STREET.
THE BUILDINGS LINING THIS STREET WERE EMERALD GREEN. THE DALEKS IN THIS SECTION VARIED FROM A SOMEWHAT NORMAL LOOKING DALEK TO THE WHACKED OUT COLORS OF MY HOST CASING. THEY BUSIED THEMSELVES AROUND THE STREET WITH A "YO, DALEK BUD!" CRY IN MY DIRECTION. I "YO"'ED THEM BACK. A DALEK OF STRANGE PASTEL COLORS AND AN INTERESTING SCENT PASSED ME BY. "MEET ME AT THE MOSH POSH PIT LATER, BIG BOY!" WAS VOICED. I COULD HAVE SWORN THAT THE ELECTRONIC VOICE WAS FEMININE. DALEKS WERE GENETICALLY PRODUCED. FEMALES WERE CONSIDERED THE LESSER AND WEAKER LESS AGGRESSIVE OF THE SPECIES. THERE WAS NO PLACE FOR THEM IN THE SUPERIOR RACE OF THE UNIVERSE. THE ATTRACTION AND DESIRE FOR SUCH A BEING WAS ELIMINATED WITH THE REST OF THE WEAK EMOTIONS IN THE PROCESS OF OUR CREATION. I WAS DIFFERENT NOW. I FELT INCLINED TO FOLLOW THIS MOST INTERESTING DALEK. I COULD NOT FORGET MY MISSION HERE. MISSION FIRST, DALEK CHASING LATER.
I CAME TO THE END OF THE YELLOW BRICK ROAD. A BUILDING WITH FLASHING LIGHTS STOOD BEFORE ME. THE LIGHTS ON THE TOP READ: "THE GNARLY NUTS AND BOLTS SWING FLING PARLOR". A SECOND BRIGHT LIGHT READ "THE MOST PINGAMATIC LAIR OF DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS".
A LOUD ELECTRONIC SQUEALING NOISE ALONG WITH OTHER NOISES FLOATED OUT OF THE ESTABLISHMENT. AN ELECTRONIC VOICE GRATED OUT LYRICS IN SOME FORM OF WHAT I TAKE TO BE AN ATTEMPT AT SINGING, BUT THE RHYTHM OF THE VOICE DID NOT MATCH THE OTHER NOISES, LIKE EVEN THE RODENT'S MUSIC DID. THE WORDS OF THE SONG MADE ME WONDER IF I HAD BEEN AWAY FROM OTHER DALEKS TOO LONG, AND I HAVE FORGOTTEN MY NATIVE TONGUE.
"MY TENTACLES SLOSH NEAR THE MOSH SKIES
AND TOGETHER WE TOOK A COSMIC TRIP
TO THE STORAGE CIRCUIT BOARD
YOU KNOW YOUR DIGITAL LOVE FRIES MY FRITTERS . . . "
I AM A DALEK. I DO NOT ADMIT FAILURE TO UNDERSTAND. THE SONG MUST BE SANG IN A NEW FORM OF DALEKIAN. THESE DALEKS HAVE BEEN SEPARATED FROM THE MAIN DALEK CULTURE FOR CENTURIES. EVEN WITH THE LACK OF COHERENCY OF THIS SONG, IT DID HAVE A STRANGE APPEAL.
I WENT TO THE DOOR OF THE PLACE. TWO BLACK DALEKS STOOD ON GUARD. "DO YOU HAVE A PASS?' ONE OF THEM ASKED.
"NO. I HAVE COME TO SEE DAVETT," I ANSWERED.
I WAS BLASTED. IT HURT, BUT I STILL FUNCTIONED. I THOUGHT THIS OVER. THEY DID NOT ANNIHILATE ME FOR THE TRESPASS. WHY BOTHER WASTE THE ENERGY? I WAS NOT DETERRED. I SOUGHT THE LOGIC OF THE ACTION.
"GET LOST!" THE SECOND DALEK ORDERED.
I LOOKED AT THE POSTER THAT SHOWED A PICTURE OF DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS. THEY WERE DALEKS IN THE SAME KIND OF CASING THAT I NOW HAVE. I TURNED MY EYESTALK BACK TO THE TWO GUARDS. THE RODENT HAD TAUGHT ME MANY BAD HABITS BY EXAMPLE. ONE OF HER MAJOR RULES WAS, WHEN IN DOUBT, MAKE SOMETHING UP.
"I AM ONE OF THE BAND MEMBERS," I ANNOUNCED.
"WHY DON'T YOU TALK LIKE THE OTHER BAND MEMBERS?"
"i HAVE HAD SOME EXPERIENCES OF LATE. I HAVE SUSTAINED SOME MAJOR DAMAGE. IT IS VITAL THAT I SEE DAVETT."
"A BAD TRIP, HUH? THERE HAS BEEN SOME BAD STUFF GOING AROUND LATELY. I HEAR IT'S COMING FROM THE EASTSIDE."
I DUG THROUGH MY ORGANIC MEMORY OF THE DEGENERATE LANGUAGE AND RESPONDED. "YEAH, YOU MIGHT SAY THAT, BUD."
THERE WAS NO FURTHER ARGUMENT. I WAS ALLOWED ENTRANCE. THE PLACE WAS A LARGE SMOKE FILLED ROOM. FOUR STRANGE PSYCHEDELIC DALEKS WERE ON THE STAGE AT THE FAR WALL. THE POSTER HAD SHOWN FIVE DALEKS. MAYBE THIS DALEK, WHOSE CASING I WAS USING, WAS THE MISSING MEMBER. WHAT A COINCIDENCE! EACH OF THESE DALEKS DID HIS OWN THING. ONE THE DALEKS MADE PECULIAR WHINES COME FROM A CIRCUIT BOARD. THE SECOND DALEK BOUNCED BACK AND FORTH BETWEEN A SERIES OF METAL GARBAGE CANS. EACH CAN MUST HAVE CONTAINED VARIOUS SUBSTANCES AT VARYING AMOUNTS. EACH CAN GAVE A DIFFERENT SOUND. SOME OF THE CANS GAVE OFF DIFFERENT COLOR SMOKES AND SMELLS. THE THIRD MEMBER SHOT OFF HARMLESS LASERS OF DIFFERENT COLORS AND DESIGNS. A SMOKE CAME OFF OF THIS LASER, TOO. IT ALSO HAD A PECULIAR ODOR. THE FOURTH DALEK ROLLED BACK AND FORTH ACROSS THE STAGE. SCREAMS OF DELIGHT FOLLOWED HIM, AS DID THE GREEN BUBBLES FROM HIS GUN CANNON. HE WAS THE ONE WHO SCREECHED THE INCOMPREHENSIBLE LYRICS.
I MOVED THROUGH THE CROWD OF DALEKS, THAT BOUNCED OFF EACH OTHER. SOME OF THE DALEKS DID CASE JUMPING. I MADE A SUDDEN STOP AS ONE DALEK JUMPED FROM HIS CASING TO ANOTHER CASING. HE MISSED AND HIT THE WALL, WHERE HE SLID DOWN TO THE FLOOR WITH A LOUD SQUISH. A ROPE WITH A HOOK ON THE END OF IT CAME SLITHERING OUT OF THE TARGET CASING. THE NAKED DALEK ON THE FLOOR WRAPPED HIS TENTACLES AROUND IT AND WAS REELED IN. THIS WAS TRUE INSANITY. THIS MUST BE A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE BROUGHT ON BY THOSE DUNKIN DONUTS I HAD ACQUIRED AT THE RODENT'S LAST PIT STOP. THIS WOULD EXPLAIN THE THAL CITY, THE HIPPIE DALEKS, AND THE WHOLE CITY.
ON STAGE A LOUD EXPLOSION CAME FROM THE CIRCUIT BOARDS. THE GARBAGE CANS WERE KNOCKED OVER AND THE CHEMICALS MIXED TO CAUSE ANOTHER EXPLOSION. SPARKS FLEW FROM THE LASER DALEK. AN ENORMOUS BUBBLE EMITTED FROM THE LEADER DALEK. IT BROKE FREE AND FLOATED OVER THE AUDIENCE, THEN POPPED, SHOWERING THE AUDIENCE WITH CONFETTI. THE DALEKS ON STAGE DISAPPEARED. I MOVED THROUGH THE CHAOS. I WENT BEHIND THE STAGE. I MET LITTLE RESISTANCE.
"HEY, GROOVY GRISMAR! WHERE'VE YOU BEEN, DALEK!" I HEARD FROM THE BACK ROOM.
I ROLLED TO THE DOORWAY COVERED BY A CURTAIN OF CHEAP PLASTIC BEADS OF MANY COLORS. I PAID IT NO HEED. WEIRDER THINGS HAD INSULTED MY SENSES ALREADY. I ROLLED INTO THE SMALL ROOM, THAT WAS DENSE WITH SMOKE AND WEIRD FUMES. I WAS SHOWERED WITH A FOUR GUN FLOWER POWER SALUTE. THINGS COULD NOT GET ANY STRANGER!
"GRISMAR! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, DALEK BUD! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONER WHEN YOU TRIED TO SMOKE THAT LIVE VARGA PLANT!" THE GARBAGE CAN BANGER EXCLAIMED.
"YOU MEAN THE MOBILE POISONOUS VAMPIRIC VARGA PLANT?" I REMARKED SLOWLY. WHAT KIND OF A LUNATIC WAS THIS GROOVY GRISMAR! THE VARGA PLANT WERE CACTUS LIKE CREATURES, THAT WE, THE DALEKS, CREATED TO KEEP ORGANIC CREATURES AWAY FROM US WHEN WE WERE INVOLVED IN IMPORTANT BUSINESS. THE THORN OF THE VARGA PLANT WOULD SLOWLY TURN THE ORGANIC BEING INTO ANOTHER VARGA. GROOVY GRISMAR WAS TRYING TO SMOKE ONE OF THESE WHILE HE WAS STILL ALIVE!
"YEAH," THE GARBAGE CAN DALEK REPLIED, "IT DIDN'T TAKE TOO KINDLY TO YOUR TORCH EITHER."
"AND YOU WERE SHISH-KABOOB DALEK, TOO!" CIRCUIT BOARD DALEK ADDED.
"I AM NOT WHAT I APPEAR TO BE," I ANSWERED, RECOVERING FROM THE SHOCK, "I HAVE COME TO SPEAK WITH DAVETT."
"YEAH, WHAT'S YOUR POINT, GRISMAR?" ASKED THE SINGING BUBBLING DALEK, "WHO HERE IS WHAT HE SEEMS, GRISMAR? ESPECIALLY YOU. NO ONE CAN REMAINED THE SAME AFTER YOUR VAST FLEMOMATIC PINGOMATIC EXPERIENCES."
"ARE YOU STILL ABLE TO DO THOSE ELECTRIFYING SQUEALS," CIRCUIT BOARD ASKED, "I REALIZE THAT THEY HAVE TO BE LIKE MAJORLY PAINFUL. I'LL ADMIT YOU'VE GOT NERVE TO DO THOSE THINGS WITHOUT KILLING THE COMPUTER FIRST."
"NO, YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND. I AM FROM THE OUTSIDE," I ANSWERED.
"WELL, THE VARGA PLANT WOULD HAVE BEEN AN OUT OF THE BODY EXPERIENCE IN A MAJOR WAY. WE'LL HAVE TO CONVERSE WITH PRANNALAGER AND HER GNARLY GROUP ABOUT THIS. THAT IS, AFTER SHE CONTACTS THE SPIRIT OF DAVROS FROM THE DEAD."
I PAUSED AND COCKED MY EYESTALK AT HIM. "DAVROS IS NOT DEAD," I ANSWERED.
"OF COURSE, HE'S NOT!" LASER DALEK ANSWERED, "HE LIVES ON IN US ALL."
"NO," I RETURNED SLOWLY, "HE IS THE EMPEROR DALEK."
"THAT WOULD EXPLAIN HER LACK OF SUCCESS IN FINDING HIM, YOU KNOW," LASER DALEK COMMENTED.
"YOU AREN'T A WAY COOL DALEK, ARE YOU. YOU ARE ONE OF THEM!" EXCLAIMED CIRCUIT BOARD DALEK.
"YES. THROUGH AN ACCIDENT, I HAVE BEEN GENETICALLY ALTERED. I HAVE BECOME ONE OF YOU . . . SOMEWHAT."
"WHERE'S GRISMAR?" GARBAGE CAN DALEK ASKED.
"I BELIEVE HE IS DEAD."
"YOU KILLED HIM AND STOLE HIS CASING!" CIRCUIT BOARD DALEK EXCLAIMED.
"NO. I DID NOT KILL HIM. HE WAS GONE WHEN I TOOK THIS CASING. I WOULD ACCESS THAT THE VARGA PLANT DID HIM IN. IMPALEMENT IS A HARD THING TO LIVE THROUGH," I ANSWERED.
"HE'S GOT A POINT THERE," THE SINGER ADDED.
"I SAY WE ASK PRANNALAGER," LASER DALEK SAID.
"LET ME EXPLAIN," I SUGGESTED. THE FOUR DALEK CONVERGED IN A CIRCLE ON ME.
"ROLL ON," SAID THE SINGER, "LET'S HEAR OF THE RISE AND FALL OF OUT MOST BODACIOUS BUD GROOVY GRISMAR AND THE GLORIOUS COMING OF WHATEVER YOU CALL YOURSELF. MAY YOU BE MOST WORTHY OF THE CASING YOU WEAR."
SO, I STARTED MY LONG AND COMPLEX STRANGE TALE WITH MANY A "WAY COOL!", "TUBULAR', AND "NIFTY". WHEN ALL WAS SAID AND DONE THE SINGER INTRODUCED THE BAND TO ME. HE WAS DAVETT. THE GARBAGE CAN BANGER WAS FRIZBOTE. THE LASER DALEK WAS BRIMBOTBUBULAT. THE CIRCUIT BOARDER WAS GLIMMER GLOT. SANITY WAS NOT A COMMON COMMODITY IN THIS CIVILIZATION, AND THEY WANTED TO INTRODUCE ME TO MORE INSANITY. I DECLINED. I HAD HOPED TO DO AWAY WITH THE CLASSIFICATION OF EMPIRICAL DALEK, BUT I WANTED TO KEEP SOME VESTIGE OF MY DALEKHOOD.
SO, THE FIVE OF US AGREED TO TRY AND THIS VENTURE I HAD IN MIND. WE WERE GOING TO INFILTRATE THE EMPIRE AS A PARTY, THAT I HAD LEFT SO LONG AGO. WE FOUND A GOOD USE FOR THE HUMANOIDS IN MY PARTY. THEY WERE CAPTIVES, WHO HAD A PLAN TO SEEK OUT AND DESTROY THE EMPIRE. WE NEEDED TO GET DETAILS OUT OF THEM. SO, WE BROUGHT THEM TO THE CITY FOR INTERROGATION. THE REAL REASON WE NEEDED THEM WAS NONE OF US HAD A CLUE AS TO HOW TO BREAK INTO THE MASTER COMPUTER. TALAR MIGHT BE ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT, EVEN IF SHE WAS A THAL. MEANWHILE, I WAS GOING TO DISTRACT THE EMPIRICAL DALEKS WITH THAT FILM FROM VAROS. THIS GREATLY DISTRESSES MY DALEK COMPANIONS. THEY WERE ALSO VERY FOND OF THE DOCTOR. IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO CONVINCE THEM THAT THE DOCTOR WAS NOT DEAD, AND PRANNALAGER DID NOT HAVE TO SUMMON HIS SPIRIT EITHER. I FOUND OUT THAT THESE DALEKS WERE NOT PROGRAMMED TO FEEL THE SAME ABOUT HUMANOIDS AS I WAS PROGRAMMED TO FEEL. IT DID NOT REALLY MATTER THAT I HAD THIS GROUP OF HUMANOIDS WAITING FOR ME, AND I REALLY HAD NO INTENTIONS OF HAVING THEM DAMAGED IN THE COURSE OF THIS VENTURE. THE INFORMATION THAT TWO OF MY COMPANIONS WERE THALS DID NOT BOTHER THEM EITHER. I GOT A LINE FROM BRIMBOTBUBULAT, "THALS CAN'T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR MISTAKES THAT THEIR PARENTS MADE." I THOUGHT ON THIS A MOMENT. I STILL HATED THE @#$%^&* THALS!
WE PICKED UP PRANNALAGER. PRANNALAGER WAS THAT STRANGE ELUSIVE THING CALLED A FEMALE DALEK. I CAME TO FIND OUT THAT SOME YEARS AGO THESE DALEKS HAD MANAGED TO BREAK INTO THE EMPIRICAL CITY AND THE GENETIC INCUBATION UNITS TO CREATE THE FEMALE DALEK. THEY HAD NOT THE RESOURCES OR TECHNOLOGICAL KNOW HOW TO CREATE NEW SPAWN BY GENETICS. GLIMMER GLOT EXPLAINED THAT "BESIDES, THE FEMALE DALEK IS MUCH MORE INTERESTING WAY OF CREATING NEW SPAWN!" THERE WAS ABOUT ONE FEMALE DALEK TO ABOUT EVERY SIX DALEKS. UNLIKE HUMANOID CULTURE, THERE WAS NO MARRIAGE. A FEMALE DALEK MATED WITH WHOM SHE WISHED AND AS MANY MALES AS SHE WISHED. PRANNALAGER WAS DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSION'S FEMALE. THE OFFSPRING OF THESE MATINGS WERE A COMMUNAL RESPONSIBILITY. THE CHILDREN WERE GIVEN MOBILE UNITS AS SOON AS THEY REACHED THE PROPER INTELLIGENCE LEVEL. I WONDERED HOW DAVETT AND HIS GASEOUS EMISSIONS HAD EVER ACQUIRED THEIR CASINGS!
PRANNALAGER WAS WHAT THE OTHERS CALLED A NEW AGE DALEK. SHE TOLD US MANY THINGS ABOUT SPIRITUAL THINGS AND ASTRAL PLANES. I NOW UNDERSTOOD THE RELATION SHE HAD WITH DAVETT AND HIS BAND. NONE OF THEM WERE QUITE ON SKARO. SHE WOULD NOT BELIEVE ME THAT DAVROS WAS NOT DEAD. SHE WOULD FIND OUT THE TRUTH SOON ENOUGH.
TO DAVETT'S GREAT DISMAY, I INSISTED UPON NORMAL CASINGS. I FINALLY CONVINCED HIM THAT THIS WAS THE BEST WAY WE COULD SNEAK INTO PASSAH UNNOTICED. SO, THE SIX OF US GOT FITTED WITH NEW CASINGS. THE OLD ONES WERE PUT IN STORAGE. FRIZBOTE BROUGHT ALONG HIS FURRY DICE. THESE WERE NOT EXACTLY THE FURRY DICE OF EARTH CULTURE, BUT THEY WERE USED FOR THE SAME PURPOSE. THEY WERE POLYGONS OF A SMALL SIZE AND HARD MATERIAL WITH A STICKY SUBSTANCE AND ROLLED IN DUST BUNNIES. THESE WERE HIS GOOD LUCK CHARMS. THAT PIECE OF INFORMATION SURPASSED MY LOGIC CIRCUITS. PRANNALAGER BROUGHT HER POWER CRYSTALS, SO THAT SHE COULD STAY IN TUNE WITH THE SPIRIT OF SKARO. WE CONVINCED HER THAT THIRTY WAS A BIT TOO MANY, AND SHE WOULD SUSPICIOUSLY CLANK IN THE EMPIRE. SO, SHE FINALLY AGREED TO BRING ONLY THREE.
MY NEW CASING HAD A NORMAL COMPUTER IN IT. THIS WOULD NOT CAUSE ME THE BRAIN DAMAGE THAT GRISMAR'S COMPUTER PROMISED. DAVROS ONLY KNOWS WHAT I WOULD HAVE DONE IF I INTERFACED WITH THAT COMPUTER. THE SIX OF US REJOINED MY WAITING GROUP OUTSIDE THE CITY. WE WERE READY FOR THE FINAL STAGE OF MY PLAN.