Author: Scarlettmarch

Title: A Realization

Disclaimer: I own neither Gilmore Girls nor the chapter title, which is the name of an Ani DiFranco song. Listen to it; it's a great song.

Falling is Like This

Instead of heading to the diner, where his shift would be starting in an hour or so, Jess walked straight back to the bridge. He figured that she probably wouldn't be coming back there for a while for fear of meeting him there, not after what happened, or didn't happen, a few minutes ago. And he needed to think.

Jess approached the bridge, and sat down, letting his jean-clad legs dangle over the side of the bridge. He tilted his head back and stared at the sky for a few minutes, thinking of nothing except the shape of the downy clouds and the wind, chasing some invisible opponent through the tall evergreens. Then, a cloud moved, and a patch of sky, a blue darker and more precious than the ordinary light blue of the sky, appeared between the cracks of white. Before he could stop himself, he was comparing the slivers of blue surrounded by ivory to Rory's eyes; the eyes that seemed to send arrows straight into his heart and tug him towards her.

In the end, everything came down to her.

He wondered what she meant by her parting words to him. Four simple words, yet they could convey a plethora of different meanings. What had happened to them? And what exactly were they before whatever had happened to them? Pondering these questions, Jess lowered his lower back to the bridge until he was completely lying down.

Jess guessed that since they had met, Rory had seen him as strictly a friend; he was someone whom she could talk intelligently to, debate literature, and mock others. But something must have changed, something that compelled her to get on that bus to New York, to kiss him at the wedding. But what was it?

Realizing how vague he was being in his thought process, he tried to at least decide what precisely had happened to their friendly, comfortable relationship. Why couldn't they talk to each other anymore? It had just been a simple kiss, something that would have meant nothing to him when he had lived in New York. But then, why did her just wanting to be friends after that kiss mean everything to him?

Then, it hit him like a lightning bolt from the gods.

The thoughts, and the words, were completely foreign to him. He tested them out, tasting the magnitude of them on his lips. He said them softly at first, letting each word hang in the air in front of him. Jess then became bolder, repeating it over and over again, increasing in volume as he continued, and letting them be carried on the wind to her.

He softly repeated them once more to the memory of her, savoring the texture of the words like chocolate before rising and heading to the diner.

"I love you."

~Meanwhile~

Slamming the door behind her, Rory ran straight to her room and collapsed on her bed. She cursed herself mentally, hating herself more than anybody in the entire world. Why had she said anything at all? He had rejected her once, wasn't that enough?

But why had he walked her home? And oh, why did he have to place his jacket around her shoulders when she shivered? Rory's mind quickly raced between all these questions.

She hated herself for letting him hurt her, and she hated herself for hoping and searching for signs in his actions that would tell her that he really did feel something for her.

And she would have hated him if she didn't love him so much already.

Rory picked up the phone and called her mom at the Inn, telling her that she had tons of work to do, and that she should go to the diner alone to dinner. Lorelai told her that she would miss her, and Rory hung up the phone.

Crawling back into bed, Rory let tears fall once again. She had never wanted to be one of those girls who cry over a boy; they always seemed so pathetic to her. But then again, she had always thought that falling in love would be all warm, fuzzy feelings and candy hearts. She never realized that love would hurt this much.

*I hope you liked this! Please tell me what you think, and REVIEW! The next update will probably be this weekend, if not sooner.