MS: I'm back for another chapter!! That last chapter took a surprisingly long time to write…. But it might just be that I finished it in one day. The others usually take from like, 9pm-12am, for 2, sometimes 3 days. (I do write longer on some nights, but since I use the computer in my sister's room because I can't find the monitor cord for mine, she usually kicks me out at midnight, unless she's gone. Sorry!!)
Peach: You drank all the orange juice. I want more orange juice.
MS: Yes, yes, we need to fix that. I want more orange juice, too. ~leaves and comes back with more oj~ Yummy, the art of writing is powered by Albertson's brand Original Style Orange Juice! ~Holds up oj and acts like a bimbo, waving her arms around it~ Buy it today, or else you'll….~holds up naked picture of Snape~ LOOK LIKE THIS!! ~screams~
Peach: THE HORROR! GAAAAAHHHHHH!!! ~huff huff~ At least it's not naked DUMBLEDORE AND MCGONNAGAL!!!!! TOGETHER!!!! ~screams louder~ Back to the story, and QUICK!
Duo opened the door to their safe house and stepped inside, shaking off the excess water. He held the door open for Heero, who dashed in as soon as he closed the garage door to his bike. He smiled as he dashed under the braided pilot's arm into the house.
"Wow, it's wet out there!" He said, taking off his drenched leather jacket. "Even if it is coming down lightly!" He took Duo's coat and hung them both up in the laundry room.
Duo passed by him and went to the kitchen to boil some water. "Do you want some hot cocoa?" He called, setting the water on low.
"Yeah." Heero called, tugging off his boots in the hallway, and kicking them back into the laundry room. "But while we wait for it to boil, we're changing clothes. These are too wet to stay in." I can hear him talk! He never used to be like this…he was always so kept… What made him change?
Duo laughed in the dingy kitchen, voice echoing off the walls. "Sure, why not. I seem to be collecting rain-drenched clothes anyway, might as well make it another pair." He ripped off his wet shirt as it stuck to his moist skin. He threw it on a chair, and pulled off his cargo pants, tossing it by his shirt.
Heero popped his head out of their bedroom doorway. "Hey, Duo, what do you want to wear?" He asked, and saw Duo prancing around in his boxers. He sighed, tipping back his head. "Don't you have any decency? You can't just take off your clothes whenever you want and dance around the kitchen!"
Duo smiled, waving a teacup. "Why does it matter? I do it all the time in our bedroom. Why's the house any different? I mean, come on, we're all men here. They know what I have, I hope."
Heero snorted. "You never know with Wufei. I've wondered about him many a time." Duo giggled, and swore he saw the dull yellow paint glow lighter for a second. "Come into the bedroom and get dressed. A watched pot never boils, anyway."
Duo paused for a moment, considering, then set down the cups and headed to the bedroom. Hey, it can't be all that bad. I mean, I will be in a room with a wet Heero. I can be distracted by his eye candy, right? We can help break the silence a little more in our room. Picking up his dirty clothes, Duo followed Heero's wet footprints into their room.
As he entered the room, Heero exited the bathroom, carrying clothes from their closet. "Here," He called. "I got you some warm clothes." He set a pair of pants and a long sleeved black turtleneck sweater on Duo's bed. "Get dressed, hurry up."
Duo walked over to the bed and picked up the pants. "These aren't mine." He commented. "There's no way I'm this tall."
Heero stepped from their closet once more, shirtless. "Huh?" He peered closer at the pants. "I guess you got more of Trowa's clothes again. Hmm, how could I have missed that?" Shrugging, the two went into the walk-in closet to search for suitable pants.
"I think I'll just wear some pajama pants, Heero. They'll be warm enough, and comfy, too." Rummaging through boxes and shelves, Duo pulled out several pairs of plaid pajama bottoms. He held up one light blue with dark stripes pair to Heero's waste, and threw them into his arms. "Don't make me take those pants off you." He said jokingly, and picked a pair of darker blue ones for himself. This is wonderful… Heero talks to me like we're so close, tries on pajama pants for me, and takes me on his motorcycle. I don't get it… What's so different now from yesterday? Duo smiled and hugged the pants. I don't know, but I'm not going to live for yesterday, but now!
Heero stepped into the closet doorway. "Duo? What are you doing?" Duo snapped his attention to the boy, and loosened his grip on the pants. Heero extended his hand, just like before, and Duo took it once again. Duo stood up, but was hesitant to drop the warm hand he held. He's so warm… Duo swam in his emotions. I feel so much better whenever Heero embraces me in his arms, or even just his hands…I feel like…like I can fly.
Slowly, he let go of Heero and fumbled with the pants. Heero turned back to the bathroom, and Duo slipped them on, cheeks flushed with warmth. Suddenly…suddenly, everything seems to move a little more, live a little more. Please don't let this pass, don't let this moment leave me…
Duo returned to the bedroom and pulled on his shirt, fixing the collar to his liking. He saw Heero on his own bed, pulling on a pair of socks that matched his pajama bottoms. Duo went to his own dresser, pulling out a pair of warm socks, and headed over to Heero's bed, sitting beside him.
Heero looked up as the bed shifted, and Duo smiled at him. Heero leaned his head in towards Duo, smiling back graciously. This is what I want…just this thing to hold on to…this something between Heero and I… I can feel it, breathe it, love it, live it. Please, Heero, never leave me… Duo breathed in deeply, closing his eyes painfully. Please just wait for me to break my silence. I have many unsaid things I want to share, but not yet, not yet… I am guilty of harboring some of these unspoken secrets that keep this house silent, and I have my cross to bear to that, but until I can conquer it, I can't say anything, especially to you.
Duo looked to the side of him, eyes blearily. Heero looked back, seeing the distressed look on his face, able to tell there was something he wanted to say, but couldn't. He smiled anyway, and Duo smiled, choking on a quiet sob. Thank you for understanding, Heero. I can't do this without your support, and here you are, cheering me on the entire time. He leaned his head onto the chocolate boy's shoulder, closing his eyes, trying to fight the battles going on inside his head. Heero smiled warmly, and leaned his head onto the others, knowing that sometimes, you have to let others deal with their problems before you can help.
The two boys sat on the end of the bed for a couple minutes, until Duo wiped at his nose and raised his head, sniffing. Heero squeezed his hand and stood up. "The water's almost ready, I bet." Duo stood up and nodded.
"Probably is." He said, and reached out slowly for Heero's hand, his own shaking slightly. He wrapped his hand slowly around Heero's, quivering in case of rejection. Heero looked down in surprise, and took Duo's hand in his own, lifting it up and kissing it.
Duo smiled happily. I'll always want you beside me, Heero, always. Heero began to move forward, still holding the other's hand in a loving embrace. Duo laughed, and followed him into the kitchen next to the kettle. I can't stop smiling, but I don't care! I'm too happy right now! Never let me go, Heero, please!
Duo helped pour the hot water, occasionally looking at Heero to find him smiling back. They moved to the living room, sitting on the loveseat, laughing and smiling. We're so happy at nothing, but this nothing is different than the past ones. This one…this one makes me feel warm and secure, and when we pause, the air isn't so stale anymore. There's laughter still ringing through it, even if you can't hear it, you can feel it. This is it, this is what I've been trying to live for. I don't know why, but I can just tell. It's just the special feeling you can only recognize when you feel it right then and there.
They set their half drunken cups on the coffee table, smiling. Unable to resist his urge anymore, Duo swung his arms up around Heero's neck, giggling. "Please stay with me forever, Heero."
Heero beamed back. "Of course I will, Duo." He said, and poked at Duo's side, making him giggle all over again.
"Ah, ack, Heero! That tickles! Stop, stop!" Duo called out, being tickled and poked repeatedly by the other pilot. He laughed, scrambling to the floor in search of relief. Heero followed, laughing as much as Duo. "Heeeeero!!" Duo called out again, laughing until tears rolled out of his eyes. He decided to take revenge, and began tickling Heero's side. Heero paused, staring at the feeble attempt to stop him.
"Um, Duo, I'm not ticklish." Duo laughed and stopped trying.
"I can tell. It's no fun this way!"
"Yes, they beat all the ticklishness out of me when they trained me. Blame them."
Duo smiled, then threw Heero onto his back, surprising him. Leaning over, his long chestnut hair fell across his back, broken from its usual braided bind. Duo looked confusedly at it, and Heero held up a small hair band, shrugging. "Gimme that," Duo said, and tried to take back the small rubber band, but Heero was too quick, swishing it out of his arm's length.
Duo gave up and focused back on his real prey. "Heero..." He questioned, lowering his bottom half to the floor beside his victim. "I have a question…"
"Hm?" Heero questioned, eyes brightly blue, blinking.
"Today…ever since this morning, you've changed, somehow. You talk more… you're more…outgoing…kinder…. Why?"
Heero's face softened, and he shifted his gaze to the floor. Searching for the right words to phrase his answer, silence drifted lazily in the room. "Well…I guess it started this morning. You had come in sopping wet, but refused to change out of your clothes. You were hoping, perhaps, if you fell ill, you could live in this fantasy world where everything was better. You talk in your sleep, Duo. You hate the silence in this house; you hate how the unspoken secrets that coat everything. I was afraid you would take it as far as death. I was scared, I didn't want to lose you." A long hiatus followed these words, and Heero blushed furiously. "I fell in love with you a long time ago, Duo."
"Ever since I met you, you've changed everyday. There's something about you that calls to me. How you hate certain foods because they taste bad to you, but how you love to eat hot dogs from a cart in the park." He said these words with a sincerity Duo had never heard before, slow in their pace, leaving enough time to fully register in Duo's mind. "You're always so happy, and when you aren't, you let others know. I can't name all the things I love you for, but I am head over heels for you. I couldn't get enough of you, and I still can't. But I was afraid. I was afraid you wouldn't love me. So I kept my silence, afraid of rejection."
"Today, when you refused to change, I decided to take matters into my own hands. After I had left to throw your clothes in the dryer and come back to the room, I found you sad and miserable, sitting beside the window. When you looked at me, I saw your desolate face, and something inside me felt like it was collapsing. I rushed over to you, wanting to make you feel better. When I see you so depressed, it feels like the world is falling into a million pieces. I held you and kissed you, and listened to whatever you wanted to tell me. You clutched my shirt, and told me to wait until you were ready."
"Right then, I knew all my doubts of you and I being wrong for each other was a mistake. Whether you loved me or not, when you held on to me, I knew that my love for you would always stay pure. I realized that there is a difference between love and true love. Love is loving another person, wanting them to be with you, but true love is much different. True love is wanting that person to be happy, no matter who they're with. True love is wanting nothing more from that person but to know that they're okay. I knew that whatever happened, whoever you were with, as long as you were happy, so was I."
"When you fell asleep in my arms, sobbing, I decided to break my own silence, and defeat my fear of rejection. It didn't matter if you rejected me over and over anymore. I placed you in your bed and stayed close to your side, in case you needed me. After that, I just talked like I had wanted to for months. I talked to you with such joy, not holding back for anything anymore."
As Heero ended his sentence, a silence once more entered the room, echoing in their ears. I never knew…I didn't know it was so strong. Usually, it's some pathetic puppy love, one where it's based only on what's on the outside of a person, never on the inside. Heero, the perfect stone soldier, is it really possible for you to love so purely?
Duo stared at Heero, jaw open slightly in awe. "Heero…Heero, I never knew that…so much…you…"
Heero sat up and brushed Duo's hair back. "I know you have your own secrets, Duo, ones you need to take care of yourself before telling anyone, but I have one question, hoping it isn't one of your silences." Heero's face turned very serious, and he looked deeply into Duo's violet eyes. "When did you start liking me?"
Duo blushed and looked at the ground, brushing back his hair as it fell forward. "Well, I dunno, I guess—" Heero moved forward, suddenly, taking Duo's hand tight in his own. He lifted the boy's chin high, and brushed back his hair a final time.
"Now, tell me your story. I'm not the floor, you know."
Duo smiled, and took a deep breath. "Well…" He began, attempting to avert his gaze to the floor again. Slowly, picking up where he left off, Duo continued. "I guess I started liking you a long time ago, too. I had noticed you started to change; you weren't such a perfect soldier anymore. I loved watching you act like any other person would." Duo gazed intently into Heero's steel eyes, the intense pools glowing brightly and meaningfully. "I loved watching you trip on piles of clothes and fall down, I loved watching you trying to get a few more minutes of sleep in the morning. I loved watching you do these things. I thought it was amazing. I'd never said anything about it; I thought you would be angry at me if you knew I was spying on you. Because that's what I'd do; follow you around so I could see you be human.
"Quatre grew the wiser, and told me how he knew I liked you. He told me I should just tell you how I felt, and that you would understand. I told him no, afraid you'd hate me or be angry at me if you knew I liked you. Then you started to grow quieter, and although you tried to become closer to me, I felt you slipping away. I wondered if you were becoming perfect again, and would leave us because we were only weighing down your missions. I would cry at nights, wishing I could always be with you, but afraid you would hate me. I didn't want you to hate me, but just like me enough as a friend, and that was okay with me. At least it was something, and I could be near to you that way, if not closer, as I had wanted.
"Then we moved into this big house, and not long after, were called onto a mission. This was the mission where something happened, and afterwards, I was changed, and I'm not sure if it was for the better or worse. I grew distant from you all in fear of you'd find out my secret. Quatre was the only one who I could talk to, but slowly, I started to grow distant from him, too. The house grew eerie, and I could feel it. I could feel its pain and suffering, and it made me sad, too. As I started to not believe in Quatre's advice, I felt there was no way you could like me, if it was even possible for you to from the start. And slowly, my secrets and the silence of the house began to eat me alive. I knew that something was keeping all of us apart, and feeding the gap between us daily. Sometimes it seemed like too much of a burden for me to handle by myself, and I searched for other means to help me deal with my pain. Nothing worked for me, but I never thought of suicide. You four were the only reason that I stayed in this world, and I never planned on giving it up on you, even if all of you had given up on me.
"I only had one way to deal with my problems. Quatre would help me, but my problems would only dispel for a while. It's like cocaine—the more you take it, the shorter the high spree is. The only way to keep it going is dose more and more. After awhile, it didn't matter what I created—all my problems came crashing back to me too soon after.
"It was like this until this morning. When I woke up, you started talking to me so happily, and my spirits and hopes rose. When the others saw your bike and reacted so strongly, my hopes rose higher. Every second that passed, I came to realize even more that it was possible to uncover the secrets that needed to be known here, bringing this house back to life, and bringing ourselves back to life. When you commanded me to change, I felt you really cared, and when I was sitting in the closet and you held out your hand, I took it and never wanted to let go." Duo paused, blushing, thinking Heero would react, but Heero said nothing, eagerly waiting for more of the story. "I felt something soar through me that hadn't for months, since you grew apart from me. As you sat on the bed putting on socks, I wanted nothing more than to sit beside you, and I allowed myself to do such, which was a first in such a long, long time.
"As I just sat by you, I felt glad. I felt you glow warmly, softly. I could feel you, and remembered that earlier you had said that you'd wait for me, until I was ready to tell you my burden. I remembered this, and realized, without you, I could never conquer anything. I could feel you support me, love me, and I was praying it wasn't just an illusion on my behalf. Finally, I decided to end my mystery, and find out how you really felt about me. When I tried to hold your hand, I was afraid you might become angry with me. But when I reached my hand into yours, I felt ecstasy shoot through me. I could not have been more happy, realizing that you cared for me, too." Duo ended his tale, and the two sat in silence, thinking about the words they had said. It's funny, though. Heero doesn't mention anything about my stress reliever. He doesn't get angry that I never bothered to speak to him. Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned Quatre, especially like a drug, at all! He must think I'm insane with all my problems…
Duo hit his hand against his forehead, face screwed up in self-annoyance. He clenched his fist, unsure of what to tell Heero. He hit his hand repeatedly to his head, regretting at his own words.
A strong hand caught his own. "Don't beat yourself up over the secrets you hide, Duo." Heero said powerfully. "I know you aren't stupid. I can realize how far you would go, and how strong you believe in your restrictions. It's okay, really." Heero smiled. "I believe you're a good boy."
Duo stopped and gazing into his deep eyes. How did he know? He shook his head, deciding to leave the matter behind. Instead, he embraced Heero in a warm hug, grateful for everything he had said and done.
Heero hugged him back, clutching him lovingly. "Now, let's see where the others have gotten to. They should be home soon." He said, holding Duo out and allowing him to recapture his composure, but still smiling warmly.
They stood up together and headed to the laundry room door, slipping on a pair of galoshes and grabbing an umbrella. They stepped outside the slightly chilly house and peered down the road.
"Hey…" Duo commented, putting his hand over his brow. "I think I see them way down on the corner of the street. I guess the bus stop is a ways away from here."
Heero smiled and looked Duo, unable to disguise his pure happiness. "Want to go and meet them?"
Duo smiled back. "I think they'd really appreciate that." Duo pulled a finger over his mouth. "But I think we need to keep this a secret for a little longer."
Heero laughed. "I agree. But I can't wait to see Wufei's face when he finds out."
Duo laughed. "I'll make them a hot cup of chocolate when they get in. They must be freezing!" He looked back at Heero, and both of the smiled. Heero held Duo's hand and kissed it softly once before letting it go again. Duo grinned. "I love you, Heero. I really do." He said, and the heartfelt words echoed under the umbrella.
"I love you, too, Duo." Heero grinned back. "I will always love you…and I promise, I will never let you go."
"I'll hold you to that."
I feel it… the ice is cracking…
Megatokyo Seraphim: Yeah. Please don't throw tomatoes at my lateness. Potatoes are harder, and I do deserve it.
Peach: ~nod~ We're sorry!!
MS: And give a heartfelt applause to Miss Congeniality over here, Amber! =D Without her, this would be a lot harder to read and understand. Thank you! (Now, everyone clap for Amber…or you'll look like…THIS!! ~holds up picture of Umbridge in a thong~ AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! .)