Title: Goukanzai
Author: KawaiiChica
E-mail: KawaiiChica@hotmail.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine
" " Speaking
[ ] Thoughts
+++ Flashbacks
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"Are you sure this isn`t a problem? I`m really sorry about..." Kaoru stopped as Enishi helped her into the carriage.
"Of course it isn`t, we`ll still have a great time, probably better," Enishi grinned and took a seat across from her.
"Are we really going all the way to Yokohama?" Suzume asked excitedly.
Enishi nodded, "Yes we are, and I`m taking you to the finest restaurant once we get there."
Suzume gave an unsure nod and looked out the window at the houses going by, "I`m not sure you should take us to the FINEST restaurant, what if I spill something?"
Kaoru smiled at the little girl`s worry, "I`m sure you won`t, and even if you did, it`d be ok."
She turned forward and blushed as she realized Enishi`s gaze was on her. [I wonder what he`s thinking?]
"Arigato again for the invitation it was very..."
"None of that, I told you I wanted to know everything about you and this is the best way to learn." Enishi interrupted her.
"You like Kaoru don`t you?" Suzume smiled.
"Suzume!" Kaoru blushed and gave her a warning look.
The little girl looked up at her quizically, "What? Its obvious that he does, he`s taking you to Yokohama for lunch and let you bring me with you and..."
Enishi laughed and gave her an honest smile, "Yes I do, as a matter of fact, quite a bit."
The tender look in his eyes as he met Kaoru`s gaze again caused her to blush and look away. "And since I happen to like you quite a bit, I`ll share a little secret with you Suzume."
"Nani?!" Suzume`s eyes lit up expectantly as she jumped from her seat to his side.
Kaoru turned her head away, watching out of the corner of her eye as Enishi bent down to whisper something into Suzume`s ear. The little girl`s eyes widened and looked at Kaoru in surprise. "HER?"
"Yes, but you must promise not to tell," Enishi held up a pinkie and taught her how to loop hers with his, closing the deal with a firm shake.
"But that`s not fair!" Kaoru whined and pouted.
[Damn those lips!] Enishi tried not to focus on them as the carriage stopped. Stepping out onto the train platform, he escorted them to his private car.
"Your own car? Oh kami," Kaoru looked around at the exquisite furnishings around them with wide eyes. In the first half, where she was standing, there was a finely carved western living room set, consisting of a mohagany loveseat, sofa, and comfortable chairs around a coffee table, where a tea set was waiting for them with small cookies. At the other end of the car was a long table with a green rug over the top and six holes in it, one at each corner and two in the middle of the longer sides.
"What`s that for?" Suzume asked, running over to find colorful balls in the holes.
"Suzume be careful with that," Kaoru stepped forward to follow her, but was stopped by Enishi taking hold of her elbow.
"Its ok, she can`t hurt them," he called Suzume over, promising to teach her how to play if she came to sit with them until the train was out of the station.
"Ok," Suzume came over and sat by the window to watch the train depart. Kaoru and Enishi drank a cup of tea while waiting.
Once they were on their way, Enishi stood and invited them both over to explain the game. "This is called a billiard table, the rules of the game are simple..."
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"You baka! How could you have let her go with a complete stranger?" Sanosuke yelled at Kenshin for the tenth time that morning, grinding his feeth furiously on the fishbone in his mouth.
"Sessha cannot afford to be on Kaoru`s bad side again Sanosuke, if sesssha said she couldn`t go she`d be even angrier than she is with sessha." Kenshin sighed and scrubbed harder against the kimono in his hands.
"If I hadn`t stayed out so late last night I could have followed them," Sano sighed and kicked a pebble at his feet.
"Get over it Sano, busu can take care of herself," Yahiko yawned, stretching while he stood from the freshly cleaned floor. "Besides, she`s got Suzume with her to act as a chaperone."
"Great chaperone, a five year old who`s distracted when a butterfly goes by," Sanosuke muttered.
"Well even a five year old is better than nothing," Yahiko replied, "Not to mention the fact that the kid`s smarter than you give her credit for, and I know firsthand how good she is at getting information out of people."
Sanosuke laughed, "That`s right! I`d forgotten she was the one who got you to admit you liked Tsubame."
"Yeah, yeah," Yahiko muttered, frowning while he shrugged and walked out of the dojo, "I`ll be at the Akebeko!"
Kenshin nodded and lifted the kimono out of the water, setting it to dry, he sighed, remembering the last time Kaoru had worn it. [The day before she was hurt, when we went to dinner at the Akebeko and had such a good time] He thought back to her sweet blush that night when Megumi said something in her ear and the shy look she gave him. [If only...]
"Kenshin was it just me or did you get a weird vibe from that guy yesterday?" Sanosuke brought him out of his thoughts.
"You`re really worried about her ne-?" Kenshin asked, suddenly wondering about his friends feelings for Kaoru.
"Hai," Sano sat on the porch, hoping they wouldn`t come home too late. [Kami, let my intuition be wrong for once. I don`t think Jou-chan can take another dissapointment right now]
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"That was so yummy!" Suzume smiled, taking hold of Enishi`s hand, her voice was whistful when she continued, "Are we going back now?"
Enishi inwardly smiled, putting on a thoughtful expression, "Hmm... I don`t know what else we could do..."
"Take a picture!" Suzume pointed at a nearby photographer.
"Suzume, Enishi`s a busy person, maybe he needs to be back in Tokyo by a certain hour," Kaoru cut in.
"Iie Kaoru, I have all day," Enishi looked at her and unthinkingly lifted a hand to push back a loose strand of her hair.
Suzume watched quietly, realizing something was going between the two adults. [She CAN`T be falling in love with him! She`s supposed to love Ken-ii!]
Realizing what he`d done, Enishi lowered his hand and took hold of hers, "How about that picture?"
[What just happened?] Kaoru absently agreed, wondering about the strange tingle she`d felt when he fixed her hair. [Am I attracted to him? How can I be when I hardly know him and I`m still in love with Kenshin?] At the touch of his hand, she felt a warmth spread through her body and sighed quietly. [What is it about you?] She asked in silence as he led her to the booth.
They took the picture and were told to go back to pick it up in an hour. With nothing to do, they set about walking around Yokohama, window shopping and looking at the western style clothes and shoes.
"What a pretty dress!" Suzume looked at a cream colored dress longingly.
Enishi noticed and spoke up, "If you promise to let me take you to lunch some other day back in Tokyo, you can have it."
"Hai?!" Suzume beamed and quickly promised to eat with him.
"Are you sure about this?" Kaoru asked, following him into the store.
"Hai, and do you know her sister`s size? I was thinking we should get her one too, since she had to stay home sick and all." Enishi followed Suzume and quickly chose both dresses, along with some hair bows, stockings, bloomers, and shoes.
"Wow! This is so amazing, where have you been all our lives?" Suzume asked, watching the men take their packages out to a waiting carriage.
Enishi chuckled and lifted his eyes from Suzume to Kaoru. She stood in a corner of the store uncertainly, her hands primly held in front of her, worry obvious in her eyes as she seemed to count the packages, her lips moving softly. Leaving Suzume to pick out a couple of dolls, he walked over to Kaoru and leaned on the wall beside her.
"They`re just gifts Kaoru," he said with a grin.
"They`re wonderful Enishi, I know its easy for you to do this for them but I`m just worried that they`ll get attatched to you and then you`ll leave." Kaoru kept her eyes locked with his as she spoke, "They`ve already lost a lot and would be crushed if you leave suddenly."
"Why would I leave?" he asked softly, "What if I stay?"
"In Tokyo?" Kaoru replied, "After all the travels you`ve been telling us about?"
"A man gets tired of silly adventures after a time," he stood straightly as he spoke, "There comes a time when he wants more substancial things than making money or seeing new places."
Kaoru looked uncertain, "Really? Like what?"
"Like someone to care for him, to share his problems and achievements, give him encouragement when he feels let down or to simply..."
"Simply?"
Enishi gulped before continuing, "...love him."
Kaoru nodded, understanding exactly how he felt. [Why can`t Kenshin feel that way?] So caught up in her thougts that she didn`t read the emotions in his eyes as he watched her.
Enishi studied her face, her innocent eyes, reading the longing and pain in them. [They`re so expressive, I can tell everything she`s feeling just by watching her.] He suddenly felt the urge to see if he could erase the pain he saw and was surprised by the feelings the girl was causing him.
"Kaoru..." Enishi began and was cut off as Suzume joined them.
"These two, they`re the prettiest I think," she showed them the two dolls she`d chosen.
"Great," Enishi followed her to pay for them and they left.
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"Arigato once again and it was a pleasure to meet you Takeuchi-san," Dr Genzai walked them to the door and waved as they left.
Kaoru sighed once the door was closed and smiled at Enishi, "Arigato for the great day, I really enjoyed myself."
"Doo itashimashite, I had a good time too," Enishi was about to help her into the carriage, surprised to see her shake her head.
"I would really prefer to walk home if you don`t mind, its only a few streets away and I`d like to enjoy the sunset."
"Certainly, if you`re sure that`s what you want, I could walk with you." he quickly offered.
Kaoru thought about it for a second, thinking it would be rude to say no, "All right."
She waited for him to explain to his coachman that they would be walking to her home and was surprised when he was handed a medium sized package before they left. They walked in silence for a bit, following the riverbend and watching the sun set over the tops of the houses.
[What is it about her? I can`t figure out what I feel when I`m near her, my heart skips a beat when she smiles, I get that funny feeling when she laughs.] He turned to look at her profile for a moment, [She was just supposed to be a pawn - damnit I can`t afford to fall for her!]
Kaoru felt his gaze on her and turned to see him watching her again. [Why do I feel so comfortable with you? I can`t believe how much I enjoyed today.] She smiled shyly and suddenly realized where they were. [This is where Kenshin does his fishing... oh Kami - Kenshin!]
She turned away abruptly, feeling suddenly as if she`d betrayed him. [How could I be thinking of Enishi when I know I still have feelings for Kenshin?] Her eyes suddenly clouded with tears as she thought of the two of them.
She was brought out of her worries by his voice at her side, "What`s the matter?"
Looking up into his eyes, Kaoru realized it must have looked a bit strange, her suddenly turning away and apologized, "Gomen nasai Enishi-san, I..."
"-san?" he looked at her with a hurt expression, "That`s the first time all day you`ve used an honorific."
"Gomen, I know, I didn`t mean... I mean..." Kaoru felt even worse at his expression and the tears in her eyes seemed about to spill, "Gomen nasai, sumimasen, I really enjoyed today but I`m not feeling so well, I need to go."
She turned her head and hurried down the path, giving a small yelp when she was grabbed by the back of her shirt. Feeling herself being pulled back, Kaoru`s mind flashed to that night months ago.
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Kaoru held her bandaged side as she walked through the rain, head staring blankly at the floor in front of her. [What´d I do Kenshin? Why the change?]
She was snapped out of her thoughts as someone grabbed the back of her shirt and roughly threw her against a nearby wall.
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"IIE!"
startled by her scream Enishi let go and quickly stepped back, "Whoa! Kaoru calm down!"
Falling to her knees, Kaoru sat and covered her face with her hands, struggling to calm down and get her body to stop trembling.
"Jou-chan?!" a man`s voice yelled from the road and in a few moments the brown haired man Enishi had seen her with before was coming towards them and was kneeling beside her.
"Jou-chan daijabou? Did he do anything? I swear if he did..." the guy glared at Enishi while wrapping protective arms around Kaoru.
"Iie Sano, gomen nasai," Kaoru moved her hands away from her face and turned to apologize to Enishi. "Gomen nasai, this must seem so strange to you, I..."
"Hai, but don`t worry about it," Enishi stepped back and gave an awkward smile, "I guess I`d better go, I`ll drop by sometime soon and maybe we can go for some tea or something."
Kaoru nodded and watched with relief while he walked away. Letting Sanosuke help her stand up, she dusted off her kimono and sighed.
"So what was that scream about?" he asked impatiently.
"I don`t know, you see, I got a bit nervous and I tried to go home but he grabbed the back of my shirt and I remembered the other person who did that and... I just lost it." Kaoru wiped at her face to get rid of the few tears that had slipped from her eyes.
"And why did he grab you like that? Jou-chan I`ve got a bad feeling about that guy, I really don`t think you should see him again." Sano kept an arm around her shoulders while they walked the rest of the way to the dojo.
"I don`t know Sano, I really enjoyed today, its just that... I still haven`t gotten over it yet," Kaoru stopped outside the dojo and turned into him for a hug, "Sometimes I wonder if I`ll ever get over it."
"You will Jou-chan... you will," Sano held her close for a moment before stepping back and opening the door for her.
"Arigato Sano," Kaoru gave him a quick smile, wishing him a good night when he said he was going home.
"Oyasuminasai Jou-chan," Sano closed the door behind her and turned towards the bridge. [Let`s see what I can find out about this Enishi guy...]
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"So how was your day Busu? Did you have a good time?" Yahiko asked, watching Kaoru sit down on the front porch.
"Hai," Kaoru sighed and leaned against one of the posts, "Oh and I got you something!"
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a small bag and handed it to him. "I remembered how much you liked them last time we went."
"Thanks," Yahiko opened it and was pleasantly surprised to find it contained western-style cookes. "Chocolate chip! Arigato gozaimasu!"
"Doo itashimashite Yahiko, I just hope you don`t finish them all in one sitting," Kaoru watched him break off a piece of one and smile as he savored it.
"Don`t worry, I won`t," he quickly closed the bag and stood, heading into his room to hide them before Sanosuke found out about them.
While Kaoru watched him walk away, Kenshin came out of the bath and hesitated to join her on the porch.
"Konban wa Kenshin," she greeted quietly.
"Konban wa Kaoru-dono, how was your day?" he asked while walking up beside her.
"Fun, Suzume had a wonderful time in Yokohama," Kaoru smiled, "She really enjoyed the trip."
Kenshin nodded, "That`s good, and is Ayame better?"
"Hai, Dr Genzai thanked me for watching Suzume and said Ayame should be up and about tomorrow. It seems she just caught a quick 24-hour bug."
"Good," Kenshin stood uncertainly, wondering what else to say.
They stayed where they were silently for a while, neither sure of what to talk about. Suddenly, Kaoru`s curiosity got the best of her and she asked about the matter that had been troubling her for months.
"Are you tired Kenshin?"
"Tired? I do not understand Kaoru-dono," Kenshin frowned slightly.
"Of me, or the dojo... both maybe," her voice was much softer when she finished.
[Nani?!] Kenshin blinked, shaking his head, "Iie Kaoru-dono, how could sessha be tired of the dojo?"
Kaoru shrugged and looked down at her lap, "Well you lived for so long moving from place to place, I thought you might be tired of the monotany of living with here."
Kenshin smiled a bit, "Iie Kaoru-dono, sessha`s not tired of being here."
"Then were you mad at me?" Kaoru asked shakily, "That night, for being nosy about what Saitoh wanted?"
"Iie, gomen nasai if sessha made you think that... Kaoru-dono..." Kenshin saw her chin trembling and felt a wave of guilt wash over him when he saw her teary eyes.
"Then... why?" Kaoru asked softly, looking into his eyes, "I need to know, onegai."
Kenshin gulped as a tear slipped down her cheek and struggled to keep his hand from wiping it away. [What do I say?... the truth I suppose...]
After a few agonizingly long minutes, he finally answered, "To protect you."
Kaoru looked at him, confusion written all over her face, "Protect me?"
"Hai," Kenshin sat down across from her uncertainly.
"Hontoo desu ka?" Kaoru`s expression became a bit angry, "Exactly how is throwing me into the street one rainy night a good way of protecting me?"
Kenshin inwardly sighed, "You don`t understand Kaoru-dono, sessha can explain..."
After he was done, Kaoru said nothing, quietly thinking things over. "So that`s why you were so mean all that time..."
"Gomen nasai Kaoru-dono, sessha couldn`t stand being so rude, demo if it could keep you out of harms way..."
"Oh yes, your tactics certainly kept me safe ne-?" Kaoru said sourly.
"Kaoru-dono," Kenshin tried to calm her down as he saw her getting worked up again.
"Don`t start Kenshin!" Kaoru stood, clenching her fists, "I can`t believe you couldn`t trust me before!"
She turned and paced away before turning to face him again, "Do you have ANY idea how AWFUL I felt?! I was so confused about what I might have done to upset you and it turns out you had a problem and couldn`t tell me about it!"
Her expression was accusing despite the tears coursing down her cheeks as she continued, "You SHOUlD have trusted us better, told us, we could have worked something out together. Why must you always push everybody away? Wait... no, you don`t push everyone away... just me."
Kenshin felt his heart break again when her shoulders slumped at her words. He wondered what to say while she seemed to get a bit of control of herself. "You let Sano and Yahiko stay that night while you shoved me out the door... do you have any clue how it feels to be excluded by your best friends? To be left out of everything because you`re weaker?"
"Kaoru-dono you`re not..."
"Iie, I`m too tired to hear it," Kaoru wiped at her eyes, "I need to go to bed, oyasumi Kensin."
"Kaoru-dono matte!" Kenshin jumped up and stopped her from entering her room, "Kaoru-dono, sessha does NOT think you`re weaker..."
"Oh of course you don`t!"
[Shimatta Himura, she`s never going to believe that!] "Kaoru-dono you`re one of the toughest people I know its just..."
"Kenshin?"
He stopped and waited for her to continue, "Stop trying to make me feel better, its not gonna work, you`re just making things worse."
Kenshin sighed and moved out of her way, letting her into her room before speaking, "How CAN sessha make things better?"
Kaoru`s teary eyes met his, her shoulders lifting helplessly, "I honestly... don`t have a clue."
"Could you ever forgive me?" he asked, not realizing his breathing stop while he waited for an answer.
After thinking for a moment, Kaoru shrugged, "I don`t know that either... I don`t think anyone`s ever hurt me this badly."
"Kaoru-dono..."
"Oyasuminasai Kenshin," Kaoru closed the shoji softly between them. Turning with a hand over her lips, she leaned against the frame and slowly slid down along it, raising her arms onto her knees and trying to cover her sobs by crying into them.
On the other side of the door, Kenshin sat with his back against the frame, silently listening to her again. [Oh kami, will we ever get past this? Onegai, help me... help us]
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Japanese Vocab.
Doo itashimashite - You`re welcome
Baka - Idiot/Jack ass/ curse word
Oyasuminasai - Good night
Hontoo desu ka? - Is that so?/Really?
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I know, it was an extremely long wait for the chapter, gomen nasai. Writer`s block is really quite horrible. Anyways, hope you liked the chapter, and don´t forget to leave a review!
Arigatou!
~ K.C. ~
Author: KawaiiChica
E-mail: KawaiiChica@hotmail.com
Rating: R
Disclaimer: Not mine
" " Speaking
[ ] Thoughts
+++ Flashbacks
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"Are you sure this isn`t a problem? I`m really sorry about..." Kaoru stopped as Enishi helped her into the carriage.
"Of course it isn`t, we`ll still have a great time, probably better," Enishi grinned and took a seat across from her.
"Are we really going all the way to Yokohama?" Suzume asked excitedly.
Enishi nodded, "Yes we are, and I`m taking you to the finest restaurant once we get there."
Suzume gave an unsure nod and looked out the window at the houses going by, "I`m not sure you should take us to the FINEST restaurant, what if I spill something?"
Kaoru smiled at the little girl`s worry, "I`m sure you won`t, and even if you did, it`d be ok."
She turned forward and blushed as she realized Enishi`s gaze was on her. [I wonder what he`s thinking?]
"Arigato again for the invitation it was very..."
"None of that, I told you I wanted to know everything about you and this is the best way to learn." Enishi interrupted her.
"You like Kaoru don`t you?" Suzume smiled.
"Suzume!" Kaoru blushed and gave her a warning look.
The little girl looked up at her quizically, "What? Its obvious that he does, he`s taking you to Yokohama for lunch and let you bring me with you and..."
Enishi laughed and gave her an honest smile, "Yes I do, as a matter of fact, quite a bit."
The tender look in his eyes as he met Kaoru`s gaze again caused her to blush and look away. "And since I happen to like you quite a bit, I`ll share a little secret with you Suzume."
"Nani?!" Suzume`s eyes lit up expectantly as she jumped from her seat to his side.
Kaoru turned her head away, watching out of the corner of her eye as Enishi bent down to whisper something into Suzume`s ear. The little girl`s eyes widened and looked at Kaoru in surprise. "HER?"
"Yes, but you must promise not to tell," Enishi held up a pinkie and taught her how to loop hers with his, closing the deal with a firm shake.
"But that`s not fair!" Kaoru whined and pouted.
[Damn those lips!] Enishi tried not to focus on them as the carriage stopped. Stepping out onto the train platform, he escorted them to his private car.
"Your own car? Oh kami," Kaoru looked around at the exquisite furnishings around them with wide eyes. In the first half, where she was standing, there was a finely carved western living room set, consisting of a mohagany loveseat, sofa, and comfortable chairs around a coffee table, where a tea set was waiting for them with small cookies. At the other end of the car was a long table with a green rug over the top and six holes in it, one at each corner and two in the middle of the longer sides.
"What`s that for?" Suzume asked, running over to find colorful balls in the holes.
"Suzume be careful with that," Kaoru stepped forward to follow her, but was stopped by Enishi taking hold of her elbow.
"Its ok, she can`t hurt them," he called Suzume over, promising to teach her how to play if she came to sit with them until the train was out of the station.
"Ok," Suzume came over and sat by the window to watch the train depart. Kaoru and Enishi drank a cup of tea while waiting.
Once they were on their way, Enishi stood and invited them both over to explain the game. "This is called a billiard table, the rules of the game are simple..."
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"You baka! How could you have let her go with a complete stranger?" Sanosuke yelled at Kenshin for the tenth time that morning, grinding his feeth furiously on the fishbone in his mouth.
"Sessha cannot afford to be on Kaoru`s bad side again Sanosuke, if sesssha said she couldn`t go she`d be even angrier than she is with sessha." Kenshin sighed and scrubbed harder against the kimono in his hands.
"If I hadn`t stayed out so late last night I could have followed them," Sano sighed and kicked a pebble at his feet.
"Get over it Sano, busu can take care of herself," Yahiko yawned, stretching while he stood from the freshly cleaned floor. "Besides, she`s got Suzume with her to act as a chaperone."
"Great chaperone, a five year old who`s distracted when a butterfly goes by," Sanosuke muttered.
"Well even a five year old is better than nothing," Yahiko replied, "Not to mention the fact that the kid`s smarter than you give her credit for, and I know firsthand how good she is at getting information out of people."
Sanosuke laughed, "That`s right! I`d forgotten she was the one who got you to admit you liked Tsubame."
"Yeah, yeah," Yahiko muttered, frowning while he shrugged and walked out of the dojo, "I`ll be at the Akebeko!"
Kenshin nodded and lifted the kimono out of the water, setting it to dry, he sighed, remembering the last time Kaoru had worn it. [The day before she was hurt, when we went to dinner at the Akebeko and had such a good time] He thought back to her sweet blush that night when Megumi said something in her ear and the shy look she gave him. [If only...]
"Kenshin was it just me or did you get a weird vibe from that guy yesterday?" Sanosuke brought him out of his thoughts.
"You`re really worried about her ne-?" Kenshin asked, suddenly wondering about his friends feelings for Kaoru.
"Hai," Sano sat on the porch, hoping they wouldn`t come home too late. [Kami, let my intuition be wrong for once. I don`t think Jou-chan can take another dissapointment right now]
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"That was so yummy!" Suzume smiled, taking hold of Enishi`s hand, her voice was whistful when she continued, "Are we going back now?"
Enishi inwardly smiled, putting on a thoughtful expression, "Hmm... I don`t know what else we could do..."
"Take a picture!" Suzume pointed at a nearby photographer.
"Suzume, Enishi`s a busy person, maybe he needs to be back in Tokyo by a certain hour," Kaoru cut in.
"Iie Kaoru, I have all day," Enishi looked at her and unthinkingly lifted a hand to push back a loose strand of her hair.
Suzume watched quietly, realizing something was going between the two adults. [She CAN`T be falling in love with him! She`s supposed to love Ken-ii!]
Realizing what he`d done, Enishi lowered his hand and took hold of hers, "How about that picture?"
[What just happened?] Kaoru absently agreed, wondering about the strange tingle she`d felt when he fixed her hair. [Am I attracted to him? How can I be when I hardly know him and I`m still in love with Kenshin?] At the touch of his hand, she felt a warmth spread through her body and sighed quietly. [What is it about you?] She asked in silence as he led her to the booth.
They took the picture and were told to go back to pick it up in an hour. With nothing to do, they set about walking around Yokohama, window shopping and looking at the western style clothes and shoes.
"What a pretty dress!" Suzume looked at a cream colored dress longingly.
Enishi noticed and spoke up, "If you promise to let me take you to lunch some other day back in Tokyo, you can have it."
"Hai?!" Suzume beamed and quickly promised to eat with him.
"Are you sure about this?" Kaoru asked, following him into the store.
"Hai, and do you know her sister`s size? I was thinking we should get her one too, since she had to stay home sick and all." Enishi followed Suzume and quickly chose both dresses, along with some hair bows, stockings, bloomers, and shoes.
"Wow! This is so amazing, where have you been all our lives?" Suzume asked, watching the men take their packages out to a waiting carriage.
Enishi chuckled and lifted his eyes from Suzume to Kaoru. She stood in a corner of the store uncertainly, her hands primly held in front of her, worry obvious in her eyes as she seemed to count the packages, her lips moving softly. Leaving Suzume to pick out a couple of dolls, he walked over to Kaoru and leaned on the wall beside her.
"They`re just gifts Kaoru," he said with a grin.
"They`re wonderful Enishi, I know its easy for you to do this for them but I`m just worried that they`ll get attatched to you and then you`ll leave." Kaoru kept her eyes locked with his as she spoke, "They`ve already lost a lot and would be crushed if you leave suddenly."
"Why would I leave?" he asked softly, "What if I stay?"
"In Tokyo?" Kaoru replied, "After all the travels you`ve been telling us about?"
"A man gets tired of silly adventures after a time," he stood straightly as he spoke, "There comes a time when he wants more substancial things than making money or seeing new places."
Kaoru looked uncertain, "Really? Like what?"
"Like someone to care for him, to share his problems and achievements, give him encouragement when he feels let down or to simply..."
"Simply?"
Enishi gulped before continuing, "...love him."
Kaoru nodded, understanding exactly how he felt. [Why can`t Kenshin feel that way?] So caught up in her thougts that she didn`t read the emotions in his eyes as he watched her.
Enishi studied her face, her innocent eyes, reading the longing and pain in them. [They`re so expressive, I can tell everything she`s feeling just by watching her.] He suddenly felt the urge to see if he could erase the pain he saw and was surprised by the feelings the girl was causing him.
"Kaoru..." Enishi began and was cut off as Suzume joined them.
"These two, they`re the prettiest I think," she showed them the two dolls she`d chosen.
"Great," Enishi followed her to pay for them and they left.
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"Arigato once again and it was a pleasure to meet you Takeuchi-san," Dr Genzai walked them to the door and waved as they left.
Kaoru sighed once the door was closed and smiled at Enishi, "Arigato for the great day, I really enjoyed myself."
"Doo itashimashite, I had a good time too," Enishi was about to help her into the carriage, surprised to see her shake her head.
"I would really prefer to walk home if you don`t mind, its only a few streets away and I`d like to enjoy the sunset."
"Certainly, if you`re sure that`s what you want, I could walk with you." he quickly offered.
Kaoru thought about it for a second, thinking it would be rude to say no, "All right."
She waited for him to explain to his coachman that they would be walking to her home and was surprised when he was handed a medium sized package before they left. They walked in silence for a bit, following the riverbend and watching the sun set over the tops of the houses.
[What is it about her? I can`t figure out what I feel when I`m near her, my heart skips a beat when she smiles, I get that funny feeling when she laughs.] He turned to look at her profile for a moment, [She was just supposed to be a pawn - damnit I can`t afford to fall for her!]
Kaoru felt his gaze on her and turned to see him watching her again. [Why do I feel so comfortable with you? I can`t believe how much I enjoyed today.] She smiled shyly and suddenly realized where they were. [This is where Kenshin does his fishing... oh Kami - Kenshin!]
She turned away abruptly, feeling suddenly as if she`d betrayed him. [How could I be thinking of Enishi when I know I still have feelings for Kenshin?] Her eyes suddenly clouded with tears as she thought of the two of them.
She was brought out of her worries by his voice at her side, "What`s the matter?"
Looking up into his eyes, Kaoru realized it must have looked a bit strange, her suddenly turning away and apologized, "Gomen nasai Enishi-san, I..."
"-san?" he looked at her with a hurt expression, "That`s the first time all day you`ve used an honorific."
"Gomen, I know, I didn`t mean... I mean..." Kaoru felt even worse at his expression and the tears in her eyes seemed about to spill, "Gomen nasai, sumimasen, I really enjoyed today but I`m not feeling so well, I need to go."
She turned her head and hurried down the path, giving a small yelp when she was grabbed by the back of her shirt. Feeling herself being pulled back, Kaoru`s mind flashed to that night months ago.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Kaoru held her bandaged side as she walked through the rain, head staring blankly at the floor in front of her. [What´d I do Kenshin? Why the change?]
She was snapped out of her thoughts as someone grabbed the back of her shirt and roughly threw her against a nearby wall.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"IIE!"
startled by her scream Enishi let go and quickly stepped back, "Whoa! Kaoru calm down!"
Falling to her knees, Kaoru sat and covered her face with her hands, struggling to calm down and get her body to stop trembling.
"Jou-chan?!" a man`s voice yelled from the road and in a few moments the brown haired man Enishi had seen her with before was coming towards them and was kneeling beside her.
"Jou-chan daijabou? Did he do anything? I swear if he did..." the guy glared at Enishi while wrapping protective arms around Kaoru.
"Iie Sano, gomen nasai," Kaoru moved her hands away from her face and turned to apologize to Enishi. "Gomen nasai, this must seem so strange to you, I..."
"Hai, but don`t worry about it," Enishi stepped back and gave an awkward smile, "I guess I`d better go, I`ll drop by sometime soon and maybe we can go for some tea or something."
Kaoru nodded and watched with relief while he walked away. Letting Sanosuke help her stand up, she dusted off her kimono and sighed.
"So what was that scream about?" he asked impatiently.
"I don`t know, you see, I got a bit nervous and I tried to go home but he grabbed the back of my shirt and I remembered the other person who did that and... I just lost it." Kaoru wiped at her face to get rid of the few tears that had slipped from her eyes.
"And why did he grab you like that? Jou-chan I`ve got a bad feeling about that guy, I really don`t think you should see him again." Sano kept an arm around her shoulders while they walked the rest of the way to the dojo.
"I don`t know Sano, I really enjoyed today, its just that... I still haven`t gotten over it yet," Kaoru stopped outside the dojo and turned into him for a hug, "Sometimes I wonder if I`ll ever get over it."
"You will Jou-chan... you will," Sano held her close for a moment before stepping back and opening the door for her.
"Arigato Sano," Kaoru gave him a quick smile, wishing him a good night when he said he was going home.
"Oyasuminasai Jou-chan," Sano closed the door behind her and turned towards the bridge. [Let`s see what I can find out about this Enishi guy...]
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"So how was your day Busu? Did you have a good time?" Yahiko asked, watching Kaoru sit down on the front porch.
"Hai," Kaoru sighed and leaned against one of the posts, "Oh and I got you something!"
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a small bag and handed it to him. "I remembered how much you liked them last time we went."
"Thanks," Yahiko opened it and was pleasantly surprised to find it contained western-style cookes. "Chocolate chip! Arigato gozaimasu!"
"Doo itashimashite Yahiko, I just hope you don`t finish them all in one sitting," Kaoru watched him break off a piece of one and smile as he savored it.
"Don`t worry, I won`t," he quickly closed the bag and stood, heading into his room to hide them before Sanosuke found out about them.
While Kaoru watched him walk away, Kenshin came out of the bath and hesitated to join her on the porch.
"Konban wa Kenshin," she greeted quietly.
"Konban wa Kaoru-dono, how was your day?" he asked while walking up beside her.
"Fun, Suzume had a wonderful time in Yokohama," Kaoru smiled, "She really enjoyed the trip."
Kenshin nodded, "That`s good, and is Ayame better?"
"Hai, Dr Genzai thanked me for watching Suzume and said Ayame should be up and about tomorrow. It seems she just caught a quick 24-hour bug."
"Good," Kenshin stood uncertainly, wondering what else to say.
They stayed where they were silently for a while, neither sure of what to talk about. Suddenly, Kaoru`s curiosity got the best of her and she asked about the matter that had been troubling her for months.
"Are you tired Kenshin?"
"Tired? I do not understand Kaoru-dono," Kenshin frowned slightly.
"Of me, or the dojo... both maybe," her voice was much softer when she finished.
[Nani?!] Kenshin blinked, shaking his head, "Iie Kaoru-dono, how could sessha be tired of the dojo?"
Kaoru shrugged and looked down at her lap, "Well you lived for so long moving from place to place, I thought you might be tired of the monotany of living with here."
Kenshin smiled a bit, "Iie Kaoru-dono, sessha`s not tired of being here."
"Then were you mad at me?" Kaoru asked shakily, "That night, for being nosy about what Saitoh wanted?"
"Iie, gomen nasai if sessha made you think that... Kaoru-dono..." Kenshin saw her chin trembling and felt a wave of guilt wash over him when he saw her teary eyes.
"Then... why?" Kaoru asked softly, looking into his eyes, "I need to know, onegai."
Kenshin gulped as a tear slipped down her cheek and struggled to keep his hand from wiping it away. [What do I say?... the truth I suppose...]
After a few agonizingly long minutes, he finally answered, "To protect you."
Kaoru looked at him, confusion written all over her face, "Protect me?"
"Hai," Kenshin sat down across from her uncertainly.
"Hontoo desu ka?" Kaoru`s expression became a bit angry, "Exactly how is throwing me into the street one rainy night a good way of protecting me?"
Kenshin inwardly sighed, "You don`t understand Kaoru-dono, sessha can explain..."
After he was done, Kaoru said nothing, quietly thinking things over. "So that`s why you were so mean all that time..."
"Gomen nasai Kaoru-dono, sessha couldn`t stand being so rude, demo if it could keep you out of harms way..."
"Oh yes, your tactics certainly kept me safe ne-?" Kaoru said sourly.
"Kaoru-dono," Kenshin tried to calm her down as he saw her getting worked up again.
"Don`t start Kenshin!" Kaoru stood, clenching her fists, "I can`t believe you couldn`t trust me before!"
She turned and paced away before turning to face him again, "Do you have ANY idea how AWFUL I felt?! I was so confused about what I might have done to upset you and it turns out you had a problem and couldn`t tell me about it!"
Her expression was accusing despite the tears coursing down her cheeks as she continued, "You SHOUlD have trusted us better, told us, we could have worked something out together. Why must you always push everybody away? Wait... no, you don`t push everyone away... just me."
Kenshin felt his heart break again when her shoulders slumped at her words. He wondered what to say while she seemed to get a bit of control of herself. "You let Sano and Yahiko stay that night while you shoved me out the door... do you have any clue how it feels to be excluded by your best friends? To be left out of everything because you`re weaker?"
"Kaoru-dono you`re not..."
"Iie, I`m too tired to hear it," Kaoru wiped at her eyes, "I need to go to bed, oyasumi Kensin."
"Kaoru-dono matte!" Kenshin jumped up and stopped her from entering her room, "Kaoru-dono, sessha does NOT think you`re weaker..."
"Oh of course you don`t!"
[Shimatta Himura, she`s never going to believe that!] "Kaoru-dono you`re one of the toughest people I know its just..."
"Kenshin?"
He stopped and waited for her to continue, "Stop trying to make me feel better, its not gonna work, you`re just making things worse."
Kenshin sighed and moved out of her way, letting her into her room before speaking, "How CAN sessha make things better?"
Kaoru`s teary eyes met his, her shoulders lifting helplessly, "I honestly... don`t have a clue."
"Could you ever forgive me?" he asked, not realizing his breathing stop while he waited for an answer.
After thinking for a moment, Kaoru shrugged, "I don`t know that either... I don`t think anyone`s ever hurt me this badly."
"Kaoru-dono..."
"Oyasuminasai Kenshin," Kaoru closed the shoji softly between them. Turning with a hand over her lips, she leaned against the frame and slowly slid down along it, raising her arms onto her knees and trying to cover her sobs by crying into them.
On the other side of the door, Kenshin sat with his back against the frame, silently listening to her again. [Oh kami, will we ever get past this? Onegai, help me... help us]
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Japanese Vocab.
Doo itashimashite - You`re welcome
Baka - Idiot/Jack ass/ curse word
Oyasuminasai - Good night
Hontoo desu ka? - Is that so?/Really?
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I know, it was an extremely long wait for the chapter, gomen nasai. Writer`s block is really quite horrible. Anyways, hope you liked the chapter, and don´t forget to leave a review!
Arigatou!
~ K.C. ~