Le Zapper 3

Magnus grumbled, the food had tasted great and had digested quite a large portion of it. Even considering that he was eating with several teenage boys his appetite had kept up. The only problem was that even though the meal had been heavenly it was extremely spicy. He'd drained his glass within the first course. Now he wasn't too sure eating so much was such a great idea. It seemed the food was coming back to haunt him, his stomach groaned loudly in protest and Magnus had to shift in his seat.

~

John stared at his boss. Was it just him or was Magnus groaning? They all understood that he was old but he wasn't so old that his body should be making so much noise. Sweat was dripping off his face as he continued with his seminar. In fact, his face was quite flushed also.

~

Pietro twirled the lighter in his hand. He'd copped it earlier from John while they had been fighting. Flinging it between his hands, he stared as his father. He was grumbling about the bios needing more detail about the listed mutants. Only recognizing a few outside of the Brotherhood, X-Men and Acolytes Pietro decided that perhaps he should pay closer attention but his dad/boss was turning an interesting shade of red. Plus Magnus kept making these strangled gasp noises every now and then, holding his stomach. The lighter gained speed in his hand as he flipped it between his fingers. Actually, his actions were quite similar to Lance's when they Brotherhood had laced his coffee with…oh shit.

~

Pitro glanced up from his doodles. Magneto was still blathering on; sighing to himself, he glanced over at Pietro. Shouldn't he be squirming in his seat by now? They had added enough of the laxative to cure a constipated cow; hell Magnus seemed more ready to shit his pants than Quicksilver. Now that he started to really look at his boss the more is became clear, they'd put it in the wrong cup. Wait a sec; they put it in the wrong cup!

~

Remy sat in his chair, leaning back and staring straight across at Pietro. The youngster should be dumping in his pants right now but he was simply fiddling with something in his hand. Beyond that, he seemed calm, as calm as he got anyways. Noticing a movement Pitro made in his direction he glanced over at the Russian mutant. What crawled up his ass? He was gesturing to Magneto, trying futilely to not attract attention to himself. Pietro looked over at the two, grinning like the cat that ate the canary and leaned back farther in his chair.

Gambit scowled at the younger teen, shooting dark looks at him. This was just their luck; they hadn't gotten him back at all. Somehow, he'd outsmarted them. It was unnerving how often Karma seemed to favor that prat. Shaking his head in disbelief, he leaned forward to get a better view of his leader squirming uncomfortably before them. It was one of the few times he'd seen the man so out of his element.

~

Magnus continued to squirm. His gut felt had a demon roiling. Like the turbulence of an airplane, being tossed around in a storm, so did his stomach. The agitation was building as sweat dripped down his face in an effort to be in control.

"Uh you alright boss?" John asked, noting the distinct discomfort his boss was displaying.

"I am no weakling Pyro. Do not interrupt."

~

Thoroughly chastised the pyro reached for his lighter to comfort him. Finding it gone he frowned. Digging deeper into his pocket he plucked out a little note. On it there was a little cartoon version of Quicksilver's head sticking out his tongue. Crumbling the paper, he glared over at the silver haired boy. Wishing now more than ever that he had his trusty lighter he bit down on his lip to keep his rage reined.

~

"Dismissed" Magneto boomed.

Normally Pietro was the first out the door but this time it seemed the boss wished to hold the title as he fled. Pietro burst out laughing at his father, filled with glee at his own creative out. Remy looked semi amused but was unwilling to let Quicksilver see him grinning. John on the other hand was grinning like a loon, while Pitro looked sick himself.

"Oi give me back my lighter dickhead." John demanded, remembering his precious.

Rolling his eyes at the Australian he wiggled the lighter before him.

"Whose gonna make me, Slowmo?"

Remy rolled his eyes at the two and decided to leave before he got more chores than he already had.

"What just took place?" Pitro rasped.

"A morbidly frequent and profuse discharge of loose or fluid evacuations from the intestines, without tenesmus; a purging or looseness of the bowels; a flux." Pietro grinned at the dictionary definition. "Diarrhea"

"But it was suppose to make you puke."

Pietro narrowed his eyes at him. Was he really that slow or didn't he understand that he just admitted to trying to get back at Pietro…only Pietro and not John also. Before he could say anything John once more pounced onto the speedster and yanked at his lighter.

"Whoawhoawhoa! I don't like you that way Pyro." Pietro shoved at the other, still in possession of the Zippo. Rolling away from the fire mutant and standing up. Dusting himself off Pyro simply glared at the statement and held out his hand.

"Give. It. Back. Shitface."

"Hold your horses" Turning to Colossal he continued. "You realize this means war, correct?"

"Correct comrade"

"You're going down slowmo, I never lose."

Disappearing in the blink of an eye, Quicksilver closed his room door and set the bolts in place. Pacing he began trying to think up ways to extract his vengeance.

~

Magnus flushed and washed his hands. Frowning he left in order to come to the bottom of this. There was now way that he would…have such problems from eating Pietro's cooking. Especially since no one else had fallen to the same problems. This was obviously one of the mutants attempts at securing revenge upon him. There would be no way that he could pinpoint who did this. Pietro was the cook but he wasn't idiotic enough to try something while his ass was in the fire. Perhaps it was Pyro, he had been grinning rather oddly at him the whole meeting. Either way he had some plotting of his own to attend to, there was no way he was letting his recruits get the upper hand on him.

~

Pyro sulked in the rec. room. Without his lighter he had no way of creating fire! And without a way to create fire he couldn't manipulate into doing his bidding, like chasing after Gambit! The boss had seen to the fact that the only source he would have outside of battle would be a single lighter. When he'd first came he had matches, lighters, even a few pieces of flint. Most of his luggage was made up of fire starters. Growling about daddy's boys John began scribbling some things down in his notebook, glancing up every now and then to glare around the room.

The one time he hadn't made sure he was alone he'd caught Sabertooth breathing heavily over his shoulder and that was not an experience he was quick to repeat. The big cat man seldom left his 'domain'. A lot like that freaky guy with all the tuffs of hair, Meseby or something. Shrugging he turned back to his story and began cackling evilly as the white haired devil was persecuted in his piece of work.

~

Magnus passed by the rec. room on his way back to the lab and paused when he heard … cackling? Stepping into the room he cast a gaze around to check and make sure none of the boys had killed one another. He was shocked to find Pyro the only occupant of the entire room. What was that boy on? That was when he noted that the boy had his writing journal with him and scatted from the room as fast as he could. The last time he'd seen the boy with that was before they went into battle and had to listen to him complain the whole way back to base about stupid people who should now better than to leave their balls open to birds. For weeks afterwards St. John would eat nothing but poultry to gain his revenge on the 'flying rats'.

~

Gambit returned to his room and sat down. Shuffling his cards, he began wondering what it was he could do to get back at the speedster. There might be a way for him to get into his room but that would be dangerous and suicidal at best. Grinning to himself, he started gathering his picks and other materials he would need for tonight. Pocketing his cards, he reached for his bureau. This would be a night to remember!

~~~

So what do you think? Not as funny or funnier? Any suggestions? Feel free to review!

Thanks to all who did review! I know it's been a while.

LadyTrunks: Thanks, yea that would be nasty to do that with someone's toothbrush but I was watching Forrest Gump while I was typing and saw them cleaning with toothbrushes so it just kinda hit me. Sorry for the long wait!

Lady MR1: Glad you like it so much! I aim to please! I'll add some more evil plots from Remy in the next chapter, don't worry! The Cajun has only begun to fight!

LotusPen: Happy you like their perspectives, I'll try and add more of them!

Sailor Wade: Wait til you see what they have up their sleeves for the next part! *cackles*

Later yo,

                 Icy