Wow, I'm surprised how well these spam-fics have gone over—I only wish I could draw them. (Most of them were conceived as omakes for a doujinshi anyways.) I wouldn't have bothered finishing this one, but Saro—you read my mind. I'd been picturing this one from the very beginning. Does anybody have any ideas for Shippou, now? I'm on a roll!

Also, if you like this crazy thing, try reading "Canines Playing Poker" or "Cooties" for more crazy fun! I promise you won't be disappointed ^_^


Kouga was pissed.

Of course, this wasn't particularly abnormal, anger being the ground state for the wolf demon. He was somewhat akin to a permanently tightened spring, ready to go off at any moment; or to use a more natural metaphor, a drought-ridden forest in lightning season. His mother had deemed him her fighter, the one who would bring pride to her family—and he had, as the pup who would always be the last one standing in any childhood brawl. His father had called him a damned idiot, but well, there's just no accounting for some people.

So now the prince of wolves, lord of the hills, was squaring off again—facing his most formidable opponent. His hands balled into tight fists and his legs spread into the beginnings of a fighting stance, but Kouga knew he wasn't likely to be attacked any time soon. It wasn't his enemy's nature to make the first move.

He had never beaten this bastard, no matter how much it pained him to admit it…it was a weakling, and a coward, but somehow it always managed to get the upper hand. Hell, it never attacked him at all, as far as he knew, which paradoxically made its presence just that much more odious. Like Inuyasha, he thought with a sniff, although at least Dog Crap had enough honor to put on a show. At least he would fight for Kagome…which was good, considering she was his.

And she was his, although it hurt the wolf to think of it…Hell, even her unconscious reactions shied away from him. He could still remember the way Kagome's scent had changed the last time he'd visited, as if she were frightened of his very existence…the way her bitter fear-scent had only calmed when Inuyasha stepped back to her side. He had tamed her, the bastard, there was no other explanation…and there was nothing he could do to reverse that. The wolf's eyes lit on fire, and for a moment everything was obscured—even his current opponent. For a half-breed mutt to take what he, a proud wolf-demon, had claimed…

"Damned dog turd!" Kouga growled, and threw himself into The Game.

He lunged forward, as usual, and his enemy dodged the predictable attack with ease. He spun about quickly, bringing his right leg about in a clever attempt to cut off the bastard's flight, but as always it snaked around to wind up behind him.

"You bastard…" he growled. It puffed up mockingly, flitting about just out of his range of sight, and he got the distinct sense it was making fun of him.

"I'll show you." the wolf demon rumbled quietly, wiping the sweat off his brow. "I'll show all of you!!!" he snarled, thinking of Inuyasha. Thinking of Naraku. Thinking of everyone who had ever died for him, with him, and because of him.

The shikon shards glowed briefly, and Kouga's feet flew.

Weave, feint dodge. Don't pause to think, or they'll leave you behind. Kouga told himself, losing his body to the rhythm. His feet swiveled and moved instinctively, anticipating each landing, and he accelerated wildy. As soon as one leg touched the earth it was off again, rocketing skyward in exaggerated arcs, and his heels dug grooves wherever they landed. Twisting, turning, bending…Kouga's nostrils flared, and he threw all of his strength into his next barrage of attacks.

Still, his opponent eluded him.

"I'll get you, asshole!" he howled angrily, grinding his teeth together in frustration. His enemy was a blur behind him, dodging so effectively he could barely keep sight of it; it was nothing more than a shapeless brown blur. How could it keep up with him so easily? he wondered in frustration as his claws sliced through yet another patch of thin air.

Spin, dive, slash, bite—the wolf's dizzy dance soared to another level, churning the sod beneath him into a patchwork of dirt and torn sod. The air shimmered and blurred as he distorted the space around him, fueling his sore muscles with raw power from the Shikon fragments. His enemy waggled, dipped, retreated, and jumped…

And always, always one step ahead of him.

The wolf demon raked a hand through his hair quickly, flipping the sopping bangs out of his eyes. Sweat poured down his back in buckets and his nose was filled with the scent of his own exhaustion. His most hated enemy, dancing there before him…

Kouga bit his lip and pushed himself harder.

Two curious eyes peered over the ridge at their Fearless leader, watching his curious dance. Kouga was spinning uncontrollably around the grassy field, spouting insults in every direction. Suddenly, his right arm snaked to the left and seized something dark…and all motion stopped. The wolf fell to his knees, panting heavily, and lifted the furry creature up to his mouth.

The watcher sighed and sat back down beside his kinsman.

"Chasing his tail again?" Ginta asked, gnawing on a piece of left-over jerky.

"Yup." Hakkaku replied. "It'll be over soon."

Kouga bit down for the kill, and they both winced at the resounding yelp.

Yes, I am sad to say there are some dogs that bite their tails once they catch them—I've seen it happen a few times ^_^;;

Care to see more?