disclaimer: one of the following scenes has actions and dialogue from the
epic film entitled, "Death Becomes Her." I do not own this movie, as i am
not robert zemeckis. but i wish i was!!!!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I had a really weird dream last night," Starfish yawned the next day. "Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez came to Camp Green Lake." She tried to stifle another yawn, but didn't succeed.
"That wasn't a dream," Dude said. "It really happened! That memory is definitely a keeper, though."
"Let's not think of that right now," said Casey...Hammer. Hammer...yeah, that's what I meant. "But like...why did they come here, of all places? Why?"
"Ours is not to reason why; ours it but to do...and die," Eloisha said in a deep, evil voice (followed by an evil cackle).
"Die?!" asked Mr. Sir, who happened to be walking by.
"Merely quoting sir," Eloisha said. "Alfred Lord Tennyson."
"....oh." Mr. Sir walked away.
"That's just like you, isn't it, Eloisha?" St. No-No sighed. "A juvenile delinquint who recites Tennyson."
"Are you saying that's a BAD thing?" Eloisha demanded.
"No," said Dude. "What's bad is trying to murder someone...six times in a row... and what's even WORSE is when you don't succeed!!!" She screamed loudly in annoynace, causing everyone to stare at her.
"That's how she got landed in here," Squid said to Hammer. "By trying to murder this kid six times."
Hammer gulped. That was the third person she'd met who'd been sent to Camp Green Lake for attempted murder...they made her crime seem so petty!! Not to mention Stanley's...or Caveman's, now, I guess.
Armpit stared at X-Ray, who was wolfing down huge amounts of baked beans. "Hey man, watch how much you eat of that stuff...you don't want to get all fat again, y'know."
"Again?" Ukulele Peanut repeated.
"Yeah," said Squid. "X-Ray used to be one of the fattest kids who ever came here!"
"Dude, shut up!" X-Ray fumed.
"What?" asked Dude.
"Not YOU, HIM!" X-Ray said.
"I still remember those days," Starfish sighed, smiling and looking into space. "When I could poke you in the stomach and you wouldn't care...because you couldn't feel it with all that fat."
"SHUT UP!!!"
"Yo Caveman," said Magnet, as Stanley sat down. "Sup?"
Stanley raised and lowered his left shoulder. "Nothin'." Thanks to Hammer, there was a large black ring around one of his eyes. He blinked and sat down next to Ukulele Peanut. His leg briefly touched hers as he sat down.
"EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!" Ukulele Peanut roared, making the whole table jump. "ARE YOU GETTING 'FRESH' WITH ME, BUSTER?!"
"No, I only--"
"IF YOU EVER--"
Ukulele Peanut was about to begin threatening Stanley, but she couldn't for one very good reason: he spontaneously combusted.
"Oh MY!" Peanut gasped quietly.
Everyone stared at the spot where Caveman had been. Crickets chirped.
Then they all resumed eating. Caveman was a minor loss.
"WHAT IN TARNATION JUST HAPPENED?!" screamed Mr. Sir, entering the scene again. "I HEARD AN EXPLOSION!!!" Instictivley, he whipped towards Zig Zag. "ZIG ZAG, DID YOU TRY TO SET OFF ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FIREWORKS IN THE CAFETERIA?!?!"
"No sir," Hammer answered. "It was Caveman. He just spontaneously combusted."
Mr. Sir's angry expression softened. "Oh. Is that all?"
The D-Tent kids nodded.
"Oh. Okay." Mr. Sir walked back into his office.
"'Dear Mrs. Yelnats,'" said Hammer, pretending that she was writing out a letter. "'Know what happened today? Stanley spontaneously combusted.'"
D-Tent laughed. Dude, who was quite pleased about the whole affair, started slapping the table in an effort to stop laughing.
"Hey, what'd that table do to you?" Starfish sniffed.
A few minutes later, the guys and dolls (ew) went outside to get their shovels. Starfish muttered something to St. No-No; who subsequently tripped X-Ray.
"YO!" X-Ray shouted, scrambling to his feet. "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, POCAHONTAS?!"
"Pocahontas?" repeated the D-Tent girls.
"Yes!" X-Ray said, pointing at St. No-No. "If her hair was black, she would look like Pocahontas!!"
"You make no sense, man," said Armpit, pushing past him.
"Yeah, well at least I--HEY!! SOMEBODY TOOK MY SHOVEL!!!" X-Ray, inhaling and exhaling heavily, turned to see Starfish running into the horizon, laughing evilly.
"HEY, COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPECIAL SHOVEL!!" X-Ray shouted, charging after her.
D-Tent got their shovels and ran towards the two others.
"Yo X," said Armpit. "Here!" He threw him an extra shovel.
"No, I only use my special shovel!!" X-Ray whined.
"Then use it to fight her!" cheered Eloisha. "It's the battle of the sexes!!"
"More like battle of the shovels," muttered Ukulele Peanut, grinning. "This should be good!"
"C'mon, put up your dukes!!" Starfish challenged, raising her shovel as the two began to circle each other. "C'mon!!"
"Just give me my shovel, man!" X-Ray complained.
"You're gonna have to fight me first!" Starfish said. "Or are you too scawed to take own a giwl, X-Way?" She laughed with Dude and St. No-No.
"Why do girls always think that?!" X-Ray asked, as he and Starfish began to circle each other. "You always think that us guys are 'afwaid' to fight you!! It's time you were proved wrong!!" Yelling victoriously, he lunged at her.
Starfish ducked aside, and their two shovels collided with each other. Then, the fight was on. Clang, clang, and a bonk or two as wood hit wood.
"YOU SHOULD LEARN NOT TO COMPETE WITH ME, I ALWAYS WIN!!" Starfish roared, swinging her shovel at X-Ray. "POLKER, POOL, DARTS--YOU NAME IT, I'VE BEATEN YOU AT IT!!"
"YOU MAY HAVE ALWAYS WON," began X-Ray, blocking Starfish's blow. "BUT YOU NEVER PLAYED FAIR!!"
"WHO CARES HOW I PLAYED, I WON?!"
"You'll come to see that I have a lot of talent!" bellowed X, swiping his shovel.
"I have a lot more talent than you do, you former FATSO!!" Starfish screeched. In a sudden well-placed swing, she knocked the shovel out of X- Ray's hands. She cackled evilly as he looked up at her in horror. "Hello ... I am Starfish ...you didn't kill my father... prepare to die." She threw the shovel, blade-first, at X-Ray.
In one amazing Matrix move, X-Ray bent backwards, and the shovel soared over his head and into the hole behind him. Then he flipped backwards and retrieved his shovel. "HA!"
Starfish stood there in fascination, her arms till hanging in the position it had been in when she'd thrown the shovel. The boys cheered, and the girls all rolled their eyes and walked away.
Fifteen minutes later, Hammer looked up out of her hole at Starfish. She was still as motionless as a statue; her mouth slightly open and her arm still outstretched. Her shovel had been dodged. She'd lost.
Hammer jumped as Starfish fell face-first into the dirt, her arm crumbling beneath her weight. Slightly concerned, Hammer jumped out of her hole and rushed towards Starfish. Eloisha and St. No-No also got up and walked over.
"Starfish, you okay?" asked St. No-No.
As luck would have it, $tarfish's forehead had struck a rather large rock when she fell...one that had been covered by a thin layer of dirt.
"Holy crap, her head!" St. No-No shouted, wiping away at the crimson blood that was oozing down Starfish's head.
"Here comes the water truck!" said Zig Zag, who had just walked over.
Mr. Pendanski came out of the truck, and curiously sauntered towards the group that had huddled by Starfish. "What's up?"
"It's Starfish!" sobbed Eloisha. "SHE HIT HER HEAD ON SOME STUPID, GODFORSAKEN ROCK!!!"
Mr. Pendanski's eyes widened. He turned to the first boy he saw, and said, "Ricky, pick her up and put her into the truck. We'd better take her to the Warden and see if she's got some bandages we can use."
Zig Zag obliged, and slowly lifted Starfish off the ground. He and Mr. Pendanski walked quickly back to the truck, and and Zig put Starfish down in the passenger seat. As the truck zoomed off, he coughed from all the dirt that had flown into his face.
"Wow, I hope she'll be okay," Dude said, being compassionate about something for once in her life. The girls glanced at her, then slowly walked back to their own holes.
"She'll be okay," Squid said confidently. "It's just a little head injury."
"Yeah," grunted Armpit, who had resumed digging his hole. "It's nothin'."
"Happened to me, once," said Magnet. "Got clobbered in the head by some kid who swung a baseball bat and didn't know I was standin' right behind him...ow." He rubbed his head, recalling the memory.
"I FEEL SO GUILTY!!" shouted X-Ray, dropping to his knees.
"It's okay, X," sighed St. No-No. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Actually, it's kind of true," hissed Ukulele Peanut.
"I HEARD THAT!!" sobbed X-Ray.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Much later, Starfish walked back to the group, her head tied up in a large white bandage. Groggily, she looked around for her hole. Then she remembered she hadn't gotten a chance to start it.
"Your hole's over there," mumbled Zero, nodding his head to the left. Starfish followed his gaze, and saw a hole about four feet deep with a shovel in it. She stared at the hole, then at Zero, the hole, Zero.
"You mean you...you dug it for me?" Starfish asked.
Zero shrugged. "I started it." He got up and walked away, spitting in his hole.
Starfish stared at Zero as he walked off into the distance. "Sigh...."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
that ok? i have a question:
should i have a slight starfish/zero "romance" thing??
ELISE AND NORA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I AM ESPECIALLY INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!! :)!! review, all!
elise, i bet u didnt think i was going 2 have stanley spontaneously combust did u?! u didnt think i'd do it, did you!? I DID!! AND I LIIIIIIIIKE IT!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"I had a really weird dream last night," Starfish yawned the next day. "Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez came to Camp Green Lake." She tried to stifle another yawn, but didn't succeed.
"That wasn't a dream," Dude said. "It really happened! That memory is definitely a keeper, though."
"Let's not think of that right now," said Casey...Hammer. Hammer...yeah, that's what I meant. "But like...why did they come here, of all places? Why?"
"Ours is not to reason why; ours it but to do...and die," Eloisha said in a deep, evil voice (followed by an evil cackle).
"Die?!" asked Mr. Sir, who happened to be walking by.
"Merely quoting sir," Eloisha said. "Alfred Lord Tennyson."
"....oh." Mr. Sir walked away.
"That's just like you, isn't it, Eloisha?" St. No-No sighed. "A juvenile delinquint who recites Tennyson."
"Are you saying that's a BAD thing?" Eloisha demanded.
"No," said Dude. "What's bad is trying to murder someone...six times in a row... and what's even WORSE is when you don't succeed!!!" She screamed loudly in annoynace, causing everyone to stare at her.
"That's how she got landed in here," Squid said to Hammer. "By trying to murder this kid six times."
Hammer gulped. That was the third person she'd met who'd been sent to Camp Green Lake for attempted murder...they made her crime seem so petty!! Not to mention Stanley's...or Caveman's, now, I guess.
Armpit stared at X-Ray, who was wolfing down huge amounts of baked beans. "Hey man, watch how much you eat of that stuff...you don't want to get all fat again, y'know."
"Again?" Ukulele Peanut repeated.
"Yeah," said Squid. "X-Ray used to be one of the fattest kids who ever came here!"
"Dude, shut up!" X-Ray fumed.
"What?" asked Dude.
"Not YOU, HIM!" X-Ray said.
"I still remember those days," Starfish sighed, smiling and looking into space. "When I could poke you in the stomach and you wouldn't care...because you couldn't feel it with all that fat."
"SHUT UP!!!"
"Yo Caveman," said Magnet, as Stanley sat down. "Sup?"
Stanley raised and lowered his left shoulder. "Nothin'." Thanks to Hammer, there was a large black ring around one of his eyes. He blinked and sat down next to Ukulele Peanut. His leg briefly touched hers as he sat down.
"EXCUSE ME!!!!!!!" Ukulele Peanut roared, making the whole table jump. "ARE YOU GETTING 'FRESH' WITH ME, BUSTER?!"
"No, I only--"
"IF YOU EVER--"
Ukulele Peanut was about to begin threatening Stanley, but she couldn't for one very good reason: he spontaneously combusted.
"Oh MY!" Peanut gasped quietly.
Everyone stared at the spot where Caveman had been. Crickets chirped.
Then they all resumed eating. Caveman was a minor loss.
"WHAT IN TARNATION JUST HAPPENED?!" screamed Mr. Sir, entering the scene again. "I HEARD AN EXPLOSION!!!" Instictivley, he whipped towards Zig Zag. "ZIG ZAG, DID YOU TRY TO SET OFF ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR FIREWORKS IN THE CAFETERIA?!?!"
"No sir," Hammer answered. "It was Caveman. He just spontaneously combusted."
Mr. Sir's angry expression softened. "Oh. Is that all?"
The D-Tent kids nodded.
"Oh. Okay." Mr. Sir walked back into his office.
"'Dear Mrs. Yelnats,'" said Hammer, pretending that she was writing out a letter. "'Know what happened today? Stanley spontaneously combusted.'"
D-Tent laughed. Dude, who was quite pleased about the whole affair, started slapping the table in an effort to stop laughing.
"Hey, what'd that table do to you?" Starfish sniffed.
A few minutes later, the guys and dolls (ew) went outside to get their shovels. Starfish muttered something to St. No-No; who subsequently tripped X-Ray.
"YO!" X-Ray shouted, scrambling to his feet. "WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM, POCAHONTAS?!"
"Pocahontas?" repeated the D-Tent girls.
"Yes!" X-Ray said, pointing at St. No-No. "If her hair was black, she would look like Pocahontas!!"
"You make no sense, man," said Armpit, pushing past him.
"Yeah, well at least I--HEY!! SOMEBODY TOOK MY SHOVEL!!!" X-Ray, inhaling and exhaling heavily, turned to see Starfish running into the horizon, laughing evilly.
"HEY, COME BACK HERE WITH MY SPECIAL SHOVEL!!" X-Ray shouted, charging after her.
D-Tent got their shovels and ran towards the two others.
"Yo X," said Armpit. "Here!" He threw him an extra shovel.
"No, I only use my special shovel!!" X-Ray whined.
"Then use it to fight her!" cheered Eloisha. "It's the battle of the sexes!!"
"More like battle of the shovels," muttered Ukulele Peanut, grinning. "This should be good!"
"C'mon, put up your dukes!!" Starfish challenged, raising her shovel as the two began to circle each other. "C'mon!!"
"Just give me my shovel, man!" X-Ray complained.
"You're gonna have to fight me first!" Starfish said. "Or are you too scawed to take own a giwl, X-Way?" She laughed with Dude and St. No-No.
"Why do girls always think that?!" X-Ray asked, as he and Starfish began to circle each other. "You always think that us guys are 'afwaid' to fight you!! It's time you were proved wrong!!" Yelling victoriously, he lunged at her.
Starfish ducked aside, and their two shovels collided with each other. Then, the fight was on. Clang, clang, and a bonk or two as wood hit wood.
"YOU SHOULD LEARN NOT TO COMPETE WITH ME, I ALWAYS WIN!!" Starfish roared, swinging her shovel at X-Ray. "POLKER, POOL, DARTS--YOU NAME IT, I'VE BEATEN YOU AT IT!!"
"YOU MAY HAVE ALWAYS WON," began X-Ray, blocking Starfish's blow. "BUT YOU NEVER PLAYED FAIR!!"
"WHO CARES HOW I PLAYED, I WON?!"
"You'll come to see that I have a lot of talent!" bellowed X, swiping his shovel.
"I have a lot more talent than you do, you former FATSO!!" Starfish screeched. In a sudden well-placed swing, she knocked the shovel out of X- Ray's hands. She cackled evilly as he looked up at her in horror. "Hello ... I am Starfish ...you didn't kill my father... prepare to die." She threw the shovel, blade-first, at X-Ray.
In one amazing Matrix move, X-Ray bent backwards, and the shovel soared over his head and into the hole behind him. Then he flipped backwards and retrieved his shovel. "HA!"
Starfish stood there in fascination, her arms till hanging in the position it had been in when she'd thrown the shovel. The boys cheered, and the girls all rolled their eyes and walked away.
Fifteen minutes later, Hammer looked up out of her hole at Starfish. She was still as motionless as a statue; her mouth slightly open and her arm still outstretched. Her shovel had been dodged. She'd lost.
Hammer jumped as Starfish fell face-first into the dirt, her arm crumbling beneath her weight. Slightly concerned, Hammer jumped out of her hole and rushed towards Starfish. Eloisha and St. No-No also got up and walked over.
"Starfish, you okay?" asked St. No-No.
As luck would have it, $tarfish's forehead had struck a rather large rock when she fell...one that had been covered by a thin layer of dirt.
"Holy crap, her head!" St. No-No shouted, wiping away at the crimson blood that was oozing down Starfish's head.
"Here comes the water truck!" said Zig Zag, who had just walked over.
Mr. Pendanski came out of the truck, and curiously sauntered towards the group that had huddled by Starfish. "What's up?"
"It's Starfish!" sobbed Eloisha. "SHE HIT HER HEAD ON SOME STUPID, GODFORSAKEN ROCK!!!"
Mr. Pendanski's eyes widened. He turned to the first boy he saw, and said, "Ricky, pick her up and put her into the truck. We'd better take her to the Warden and see if she's got some bandages we can use."
Zig Zag obliged, and slowly lifted Starfish off the ground. He and Mr. Pendanski walked quickly back to the truck, and and Zig put Starfish down in the passenger seat. As the truck zoomed off, he coughed from all the dirt that had flown into his face.
"Wow, I hope she'll be okay," Dude said, being compassionate about something for once in her life. The girls glanced at her, then slowly walked back to their own holes.
"She'll be okay," Squid said confidently. "It's just a little head injury."
"Yeah," grunted Armpit, who had resumed digging his hole. "It's nothin'."
"Happened to me, once," said Magnet. "Got clobbered in the head by some kid who swung a baseball bat and didn't know I was standin' right behind him...ow." He rubbed his head, recalling the memory.
"I FEEL SO GUILTY!!" shouted X-Ray, dropping to his knees.
"It's okay, X," sighed St. No-No. "Don't be so hard on yourself."
"Actually, it's kind of true," hissed Ukulele Peanut.
"I HEARD THAT!!" sobbed X-Ray.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Much later, Starfish walked back to the group, her head tied up in a large white bandage. Groggily, she looked around for her hole. Then she remembered she hadn't gotten a chance to start it.
"Your hole's over there," mumbled Zero, nodding his head to the left. Starfish followed his gaze, and saw a hole about four feet deep with a shovel in it. She stared at the hole, then at Zero, the hole, Zero.
"You mean you...you dug it for me?" Starfish asked.
Zero shrugged. "I started it." He got up and walked away, spitting in his hole.
Starfish stared at Zero as he walked off into the distance. "Sigh...."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
that ok? i have a question:
should i have a slight starfish/zero "romance" thing??
ELISE AND NORA, IF YOU'RE READING THIS, I AM ESPECIALLY INTERESTED IN WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY!!!!!!! :)!! review, all!
elise, i bet u didnt think i was going 2 have stanley spontaneously combust did u?! u didnt think i'd do it, did you!? I DID!! AND I LIIIIIIIIKE IT!!!