yay, more randomness!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"MAKE THEM STOP!!!" shouted Starfish. "PLEASE, MAKE THEM STOP!!!"
"Make who stop what?" Hammer asked, as Starfish ran screaming at the top of her lungs out of the tent.
"Well, every other two months, Eloisha and Dude start speaking in Chinese for most of the morning," St. No-No explained. She noticed Dude giving her an evil glare. "I'd. . .better be going." She zoomed out of the tent.
"N? z?o," Eloisha said to Dude. "N? h?o ma?" ("Good morning. How are you?")
"W? hén h?o," Dude responded. "Xiè xie. N? ne?" ("I'm very good. Thank you. How are YOU?")
"W? aì ZigZag!" Eloisha stated randomly. ("I love Zig Zag!")
"A ha, I understood that word!" laughed Hammer
Eloisha and Dude stared at her. They had forgotten she was there (since all the others had left). Dude turned to face Eloisha. "N? bù yào (???) Zig Zag!" she shouted. "N? zhí dào t? shì Hammer de n?n péng yòu!" ("You can't want Zig Zag!! You know he is Hammer's boyfriend!")
"A-ha, you said my name!" Hammer said. "And ZigZag's!! What're you two talking about?!"
"Nothing," Eloisha answered, speaking English for the first time that day.
"EXACTLY!!" Mr. Pendanski said, eerily appearing out of no where. "Didn't I tell you in the last chapter, Elisha, that you are supposed to speak only ENGLISH here!? And you, Elise! Stop this craziness at once!"
"Calm down, Mom," said Dude, getting up off her bed. "It's a free country. And besides--Eloisha and I are just preparing for school when we get sent back to the community, right Eloisha?"
"Of course," she agreed, walking out of the tent. Then she muttered to Dude: "T? f?i cháng bèn." ("He is extremely stupid.")
"It is SO annoying when they do that!" Mr. Pendanski shouted, as Hammer scurried out of the tent.
"Hey, look," said Ukulele Peanut, nudging St. No-No. "It's that new kid! Eew, what a dork!" They both jumped as Mr. Pendanski once again appeared out of no where, this time at the new kid's side.
"Caroline, Nora, I'm glad you two are here," the counselor said. "This is Brian, our newest D-Tent member."
"The name's St. No-No," St. No-No growled. "Either that, or--" She twirled around. "Some refer to me as Pochahontas. However, you are not permitted to call me that. IT IS FORBIDDEN."
"And I'm Ukulele Peanut," Peanut defended herself. "You call me Caroline just once, and I'll knock that head right off your shoulders." She walked closer, until she was only inches away from Brian's face. "And there's one other thing you need to know."
"Now Caroline, there's no need to scare the boy," Mr. Pendanski said lightly.
Ukulele Peanut glanced at her counselor, then her eyes shifted back to the (shaking) Brian. "As I was saying. . .I disagree with rainbows." She walked away from the three of them. They stared after her retreating figure.
"Well, that was random," stated Mr. Pendanski. He turned to St. No- No. "Nora, did she have too much sugar at eleven o'clock last night?"
"Nope," answered St. No-No. "She had one of those spasms a couple days ago." She nodded, then walked away.
"W-w-w-w-what a p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pleasant place," Brain said, twitching.
"Isn't it though?" Mr. Pendanski asked, steering him towards D-tent. "Now, I believe that the other boys are still waking up, so why don't we just go into their tent and I'll introduce you?"
"Erm. . .o-o--o-o-o-o-okay. . ."
"Boys, this is Brian," Mr. Pendanski said, as they entered the tent. "Brian, this is Rex, Theodore, José, Alan, Ricky, and Zero."
"Mom, how many times do I have to tell you?" Armpit shouted. "My name ain't Theodore, it's Armpit!"
"And it's X-Ray!" yelled. . .X-Ray (now very much awake). "And it's Magnet, Squid and Zig Zag."
"Hey, I can speak for myself, you know," Zig Zag said, very offended. "You don't have to talk for me."
X-Ray swiveled around to face him. "Are you making moral judgements, Mrs. Peacock?" he demanded in a very strange British accent.
The D-Tent boys (and Mr. Pendanski) stared at him.
"Okay," said Zig Zag. "Don't EVER call me that again."
"Let's all just close our eyes and pretend that didn't happen," Magnet suggested.
"Good idea," said Zig Zag. "Anways, BRIAN, for your F.Y.I--"
"I have Corey's SPIT in my ear! EW!" interrupted Squid, quoting his favorite TV show.
Everyone ignored him.
"We're eating now," Zig Zag said, completing his statement. "And stop that twitching!! You're driving me crazy!!"
"I-i-i-i-i-it's a b-b-b-b-bad habit of m-m-m-m-ine," stammered Brian, twitching.
"WELL CUT IT OUT!!!" thundered Armpit. "#$&^**()((#@#@!!!*##"
The tent gasped.
"How dare you say that in a PG story!!" reprimanded Mr. Pendanski.
"It's not PG," said X-Ray. "It's PG-13."
"Oh yes, you're right," said Mr. Pendanski. "But why is it rated PG- 13?"
X-Ray shrugged. "How should I know? I'm only a character. A puppet in the Pinocchio story of life. Let's ask the author."
"Sawyerzelda, why is your story rated PG-13?" asked Squid.
It was Sawyerzelda's turn to shrug. "I dunno. Cuz I felt like it."
"Oh. Okay."
"What took you guys so long?" asked *fish, as the boys walked into the cafeteria.
"We had an MPAA problem with the author," said Magnet, sitting down.
"You can not call the rating of a book an 'MPAA' problem!" scolded Zig Zag. "The Motion Pictures Association of America has nothing to do with books!"
"Let's just forget about it," sighed Zero, about to sit down across from St. No-No.
Dude spat out her orange juice and flew across the table. *psssssst* "NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"You called?" asked St. No-No.
"NOO!!!" shouted Dude, body slamming Zero into the ground before he could sit down. "That's where Squid is supposed to sit!"
"Hm," said Squid. "My ex-girlfriend I dumped is still saving me seats at the breakfast table! How considerate!" He paused and looked at Dude. "That's what you're doing, right?"
".................uh, yeah sure whatever!"
Poor, careless Squid. Had the foolish fool taken the time to look at the spot where he was about to sit, he would've seen the--
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--OWWWWWWWZA!!! MY BUTT!!!!"
--tacks on his chair.
"HA HA HA!!!" laughed Dude, getting a bit hysterical. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that was a crack-up!!"
Squid hastily took the tacks out of his orange pants and glared at Dude. "You evil BUTT-HEAD!!"
"Ha ha, I get it!" said Ukulele Peanut, beginning to laugh. "Butt-- head! The tacks got stuck in your butt, so then you called Dude a butt- head!! HA HA!!"
"You are weird," said Eloisha, shaking her head.
"Speaking of weird, we just saw the new kid," said Zig Zag.
"So did we," St. No-No commented, nodding towards Ukulele Peanut. She glared at Dude, who was about to die from laughter on the floor.
"What's he like?" asked Starfish curiously. "Is he cuuuuuuuuuuuute?"
"He's a dork," answered X-Ray. "He won't stop twitchin', and he's got this really annoying stutter."
"I've got a nickname for him already," said Armpit. "Twitch."
"That's a good one," said Zig Zag. "Oh look, here he comes now."
"So you're the new guy, huh?" asked Eloisha, sliding down the bench to make room for him. "Just so you know, we've dubbed you Twitch."
"W-w-w-w-w-why?" asked Twitch.
"STOP TWITCHING!!!!" screamed St. No-No. Dude was still on the floor, twitching herself from laughter. "Dude, come ON! Get a grip on yourself!! Being sadistic is not funny!"
"It is when you're getting REVENGE!!!! AAAAAAAAH, SWEET REVENGE!!"
"Sit up and get a grip," Starfish demanded.
"I can't!" chuckled Dude. "My legs are too weak!"
Sighing with exasperation, Hammer reached down and helped Dude back into her seat.
"Hey Eloisha, quick reflexes!" shouted Magnet, throwing his bread at her.
"Woah!" Ducking to elude the food (ooh, i'm a poet and didn't REALIZE IT, NORA), Eloisha's hair got very messed up. "OOOOH, MAGNET!! Not only are you random, but you messed up my hair!!"
"Oh no," sighed Starfish in her usual monotone. "The end of the world has come."
"I have an excellent idea," said Eloisha. She picked up her tray and leaned over the table. She whacked Magnet on the head with it, then sat back down. "Let's change the subject." To fix her very messy hair, Eloisha flipped it like Lucy Liu.
"A-a-a-a-a-a-re y-y-y-y-you a Lucy L-l-l-l-l-iu fan?" guess-who asked.
"What buisiness is it of YOURS, TWERP?!" Eloisha shouted, beginning to hyperventilate. She calmed down. "Heh heh." Eloisha batted her eyelashes at him. "So, what did you do that got you in here?"
"I d-d-d-d-d-rove of with a Mustange C-c-c-c-c-convertable," answered Twitch. "When I get towards a really nice car, I just start t-t-t-t-t-to t- t-t-t-twitch."
"What kind of IDIOT would just drive off with a mustang convertable?" asked Magnet.
"Well what kind of idiot would walk out of a pet store with a dog in his pocket?!" inquired Eloisha.
"Hey, are you defending Twitch??" asked Hammer.
"...............maybe. Maybe not."
"The world may never know," sighed Kathy in her Daria-like voice.
"Anyways, you'd better stay away from the Warden's car," said Armpit. "If you even touch it, you'll be dead quicker 'n you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
"That takes too long," said Eloisha. "You'll dead quicker than you can say. . ." She grinned. "Pucca!"
"Pucca?" asked Zig Zag. "What in heaven's name is a Pucca?"
"Not A Pucca," corrected Eloisha. "THE Pucca!"
"Please don't get her started," said Dude. "Pucca is this weird little. . .thingy that Eloisha is kind of obsessed with."
"I LOVE PUCCA!!" Eloisha said. "LET'S ALL GET DOWN ON OUR KNEES AND THANK THE GOOD LORD FOR INVENTING PUCCA!!"
"What IS it with you and God?" asked Squid, who was still massaging his sore buttocks.
"Haven't you heard?" asked X-Ray sarcastically. "God and Eloisha are tight. They're like best friends."
Ukulele Peanut gasped. "No WONDER you're so perfect, Eloisha! It all makes sense now!"
"Oh, shut up," said Eloisha.
"Think about it!" said Ukulele Peanut, standing up on the table. "Starfish, Dude--remember all those times when Eloisha would pass a test and we all got. . .worse than her? And those times when she was so perfect on the piano and the violin and her singing that she went and--"
"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you sing?" asked Twitch.
"Yyyyyyyyyyyeeeeessssssssss," Eloisha said slowly, turning to face him. "Is that a problem with you?"
Twitch snorted. "I love singers!!" he proclaimed, starting to drool.
"AAAA!! HELP ME!!" Eloisha shouted, flying across the table to the other side.
"Why don't ask God for some help?" asked Ukulele Peanut. "Maybe he'll make Twitch spontaneously combust." She looked Twitch hard in the eye. "That's what happened to the last kid who came here."
"They're joking, right Mr. Pendanski?" asked Twitch as the counselor was just passing by.
"Nope," said Mr. Pendanski.
"Ah."
"Well, time to get out there and start digging," said Zig Zag. "You ready, Twitch?"
".......uh........"
"Well, who cares?" asked St. No-No lightly.
"Yeah," said Starfish. "Because you're going on there anyway."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
well? btw, someone emailed me and said the following: zero should like eloisha, twitch should like eloisha, and eloisha should like someone else (like zigzag). a big love twisty thingy. whaddya think? eloisha, do u think ur up 4 the job?? plz review!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"MAKE THEM STOP!!!" shouted Starfish. "PLEASE, MAKE THEM STOP!!!"
"Make who stop what?" Hammer asked, as Starfish ran screaming at the top of her lungs out of the tent.
"Well, every other two months, Eloisha and Dude start speaking in Chinese for most of the morning," St. No-No explained. She noticed Dude giving her an evil glare. "I'd. . .better be going." She zoomed out of the tent.
"N? z?o," Eloisha said to Dude. "N? h?o ma?" ("Good morning. How are you?")
"W? hén h?o," Dude responded. "Xiè xie. N? ne?" ("I'm very good. Thank you. How are YOU?")
"W? aì ZigZag!" Eloisha stated randomly. ("I love Zig Zag!")
"A ha, I understood that word!" laughed Hammer
Eloisha and Dude stared at her. They had forgotten she was there (since all the others had left). Dude turned to face Eloisha. "N? bù yào (???) Zig Zag!" she shouted. "N? zhí dào t? shì Hammer de n?n péng yòu!" ("You can't want Zig Zag!! You know he is Hammer's boyfriend!")
"A-ha, you said my name!" Hammer said. "And ZigZag's!! What're you two talking about?!"
"Nothing," Eloisha answered, speaking English for the first time that day.
"EXACTLY!!" Mr. Pendanski said, eerily appearing out of no where. "Didn't I tell you in the last chapter, Elisha, that you are supposed to speak only ENGLISH here!? And you, Elise! Stop this craziness at once!"
"Calm down, Mom," said Dude, getting up off her bed. "It's a free country. And besides--Eloisha and I are just preparing for school when we get sent back to the community, right Eloisha?"
"Of course," she agreed, walking out of the tent. Then she muttered to Dude: "T? f?i cháng bèn." ("He is extremely stupid.")
"It is SO annoying when they do that!" Mr. Pendanski shouted, as Hammer scurried out of the tent.
"Hey, look," said Ukulele Peanut, nudging St. No-No. "It's that new kid! Eew, what a dork!" They both jumped as Mr. Pendanski once again appeared out of no where, this time at the new kid's side.
"Caroline, Nora, I'm glad you two are here," the counselor said. "This is Brian, our newest D-Tent member."
"The name's St. No-No," St. No-No growled. "Either that, or--" She twirled around. "Some refer to me as Pochahontas. However, you are not permitted to call me that. IT IS FORBIDDEN."
"And I'm Ukulele Peanut," Peanut defended herself. "You call me Caroline just once, and I'll knock that head right off your shoulders." She walked closer, until she was only inches away from Brian's face. "And there's one other thing you need to know."
"Now Caroline, there's no need to scare the boy," Mr. Pendanski said lightly.
Ukulele Peanut glanced at her counselor, then her eyes shifted back to the (shaking) Brian. "As I was saying. . .I disagree with rainbows." She walked away from the three of them. They stared after her retreating figure.
"Well, that was random," stated Mr. Pendanski. He turned to St. No- No. "Nora, did she have too much sugar at eleven o'clock last night?"
"Nope," answered St. No-No. "She had one of those spasms a couple days ago." She nodded, then walked away.
"W-w-w-w-what a p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-pleasant place," Brain said, twitching.
"Isn't it though?" Mr. Pendanski asked, steering him towards D-tent. "Now, I believe that the other boys are still waking up, so why don't we just go into their tent and I'll introduce you?"
"Erm. . .o-o--o-o-o-o-okay. . ."
"Boys, this is Brian," Mr. Pendanski said, as they entered the tent. "Brian, this is Rex, Theodore, José, Alan, Ricky, and Zero."
"Mom, how many times do I have to tell you?" Armpit shouted. "My name ain't Theodore, it's Armpit!"
"And it's X-Ray!" yelled. . .X-Ray (now very much awake). "And it's Magnet, Squid and Zig Zag."
"Hey, I can speak for myself, you know," Zig Zag said, very offended. "You don't have to talk for me."
X-Ray swiveled around to face him. "Are you making moral judgements, Mrs. Peacock?" he demanded in a very strange British accent.
The D-Tent boys (and Mr. Pendanski) stared at him.
"Okay," said Zig Zag. "Don't EVER call me that again."
"Let's all just close our eyes and pretend that didn't happen," Magnet suggested.
"Good idea," said Zig Zag. "Anways, BRIAN, for your F.Y.I--"
"I have Corey's SPIT in my ear! EW!" interrupted Squid, quoting his favorite TV show.
Everyone ignored him.
"We're eating now," Zig Zag said, completing his statement. "And stop that twitching!! You're driving me crazy!!"
"I-i-i-i-i-it's a b-b-b-b-bad habit of m-m-m-m-ine," stammered Brian, twitching.
"WELL CUT IT OUT!!!" thundered Armpit. "#$&^**()((#@#@!!!*##"
The tent gasped.
"How dare you say that in a PG story!!" reprimanded Mr. Pendanski.
"It's not PG," said X-Ray. "It's PG-13."
"Oh yes, you're right," said Mr. Pendanski. "But why is it rated PG- 13?"
X-Ray shrugged. "How should I know? I'm only a character. A puppet in the Pinocchio story of life. Let's ask the author."
"Sawyerzelda, why is your story rated PG-13?" asked Squid.
It was Sawyerzelda's turn to shrug. "I dunno. Cuz I felt like it."
"Oh. Okay."
"What took you guys so long?" asked *fish, as the boys walked into the cafeteria.
"We had an MPAA problem with the author," said Magnet, sitting down.
"You can not call the rating of a book an 'MPAA' problem!" scolded Zig Zag. "The Motion Pictures Association of America has nothing to do with books!"
"Let's just forget about it," sighed Zero, about to sit down across from St. No-No.
Dude spat out her orange juice and flew across the table. *psssssst* "NOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
"You called?" asked St. No-No.
"NOO!!!" shouted Dude, body slamming Zero into the ground before he could sit down. "That's where Squid is supposed to sit!"
"Hm," said Squid. "My ex-girlfriend I dumped is still saving me seats at the breakfast table! How considerate!" He paused and looked at Dude. "That's what you're doing, right?"
".................uh, yeah sure whatever!"
Poor, careless Squid. Had the foolish fool taken the time to look at the spot where he was about to sit, he would've seen the--
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEE--OWWWWWWWZA!!! MY BUTT!!!!"
--tacks on his chair.
"HA HA HA!!!" laughed Dude, getting a bit hysterical. "Jesus, Mary and Joseph, that was a crack-up!!"
Squid hastily took the tacks out of his orange pants and glared at Dude. "You evil BUTT-HEAD!!"
"Ha ha, I get it!" said Ukulele Peanut, beginning to laugh. "Butt-- head! The tacks got stuck in your butt, so then you called Dude a butt- head!! HA HA!!"
"You are weird," said Eloisha, shaking her head.
"Speaking of weird, we just saw the new kid," said Zig Zag.
"So did we," St. No-No commented, nodding towards Ukulele Peanut. She glared at Dude, who was about to die from laughter on the floor.
"What's he like?" asked Starfish curiously. "Is he cuuuuuuuuuuuute?"
"He's a dork," answered X-Ray. "He won't stop twitchin', and he's got this really annoying stutter."
"I've got a nickname for him already," said Armpit. "Twitch."
"That's a good one," said Zig Zag. "Oh look, here he comes now."
"So you're the new guy, huh?" asked Eloisha, sliding down the bench to make room for him. "Just so you know, we've dubbed you Twitch."
"W-w-w-w-w-why?" asked Twitch.
"STOP TWITCHING!!!!" screamed St. No-No. Dude was still on the floor, twitching herself from laughter. "Dude, come ON! Get a grip on yourself!! Being sadistic is not funny!"
"It is when you're getting REVENGE!!!! AAAAAAAAH, SWEET REVENGE!!"
"Sit up and get a grip," Starfish demanded.
"I can't!" chuckled Dude. "My legs are too weak!"
Sighing with exasperation, Hammer reached down and helped Dude back into her seat.
"Hey Eloisha, quick reflexes!" shouted Magnet, throwing his bread at her.
"Woah!" Ducking to elude the food (ooh, i'm a poet and didn't REALIZE IT, NORA), Eloisha's hair got very messed up. "OOOOH, MAGNET!! Not only are you random, but you messed up my hair!!"
"Oh no," sighed Starfish in her usual monotone. "The end of the world has come."
"I have an excellent idea," said Eloisha. She picked up her tray and leaned over the table. She whacked Magnet on the head with it, then sat back down. "Let's change the subject." To fix her very messy hair, Eloisha flipped it like Lucy Liu.
"A-a-a-a-a-a-re y-y-y-y-you a Lucy L-l-l-l-l-iu fan?" guess-who asked.
"What buisiness is it of YOURS, TWERP?!" Eloisha shouted, beginning to hyperventilate. She calmed down. "Heh heh." Eloisha batted her eyelashes at him. "So, what did you do that got you in here?"
"I d-d-d-d-d-rove of with a Mustange C-c-c-c-c-convertable," answered Twitch. "When I get towards a really nice car, I just start t-t-t-t-t-to t- t-t-t-twitch."
"What kind of IDIOT would just drive off with a mustang convertable?" asked Magnet.
"Well what kind of idiot would walk out of a pet store with a dog in his pocket?!" inquired Eloisha.
"Hey, are you defending Twitch??" asked Hammer.
"...............maybe. Maybe not."
"The world may never know," sighed Kathy in her Daria-like voice.
"Anyways, you'd better stay away from the Warden's car," said Armpit. "If you even touch it, you'll be dead quicker 'n you can say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious."
"That takes too long," said Eloisha. "You'll dead quicker than you can say. . ." She grinned. "Pucca!"
"Pucca?" asked Zig Zag. "What in heaven's name is a Pucca?"
"Not A Pucca," corrected Eloisha. "THE Pucca!"
"Please don't get her started," said Dude. "Pucca is this weird little. . .thingy that Eloisha is kind of obsessed with."
"I LOVE PUCCA!!" Eloisha said. "LET'S ALL GET DOWN ON OUR KNEES AND THANK THE GOOD LORD FOR INVENTING PUCCA!!"
"What IS it with you and God?" asked Squid, who was still massaging his sore buttocks.
"Haven't you heard?" asked X-Ray sarcastically. "God and Eloisha are tight. They're like best friends."
Ukulele Peanut gasped. "No WONDER you're so perfect, Eloisha! It all makes sense now!"
"Oh, shut up," said Eloisha.
"Think about it!" said Ukulele Peanut, standing up on the table. "Starfish, Dude--remember all those times when Eloisha would pass a test and we all got. . .worse than her? And those times when she was so perfect on the piano and the violin and her singing that she went and--"
"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-you sing?" asked Twitch.
"Yyyyyyyyyyyeeeeessssssssss," Eloisha said slowly, turning to face him. "Is that a problem with you?"
Twitch snorted. "I love singers!!" he proclaimed, starting to drool.
"AAAA!! HELP ME!!" Eloisha shouted, flying across the table to the other side.
"Why don't ask God for some help?" asked Ukulele Peanut. "Maybe he'll make Twitch spontaneously combust." She looked Twitch hard in the eye. "That's what happened to the last kid who came here."
"They're joking, right Mr. Pendanski?" asked Twitch as the counselor was just passing by.
"Nope," said Mr. Pendanski.
"Ah."
"Well, time to get out there and start digging," said Zig Zag. "You ready, Twitch?"
".......uh........"
"Well, who cares?" asked St. No-No lightly.
"Yeah," said Starfish. "Because you're going on there anyway."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
well? btw, someone emailed me and said the following: zero should like eloisha, twitch should like eloisha, and eloisha should like someone else (like zigzag). a big love twisty thingy. whaddya think? eloisha, do u think ur up 4 the job?? plz review!!