eloisha, u may not like this chapter. it has barely any substance. but w/e.
i don't care!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next morning, D-Tent awoke to the melodious sound of somebody screaming his head off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH--"
"Squid, what is it?" asked Magnet.
"--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--"
"Woah, look at that!" exclaimed X-Ray, pointing towards Squid's cot.
"--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! GET 'EM OFF!!! GET 'EM OUT OF HERE!! HELP ME!! HELP ME!!! YAAAAAH!!!"
"This is rather amusing," said Zig Zag, sitting up on his bed and watching Squid with interest.
By now, you may be wondering what exactly was the matter with Squid. Or rather his cot. I suppose I'll tell you. Wait--before I can tell you THAT story, I have to tell you THIS story...
Back in the days when Squid was a wee young lad, his parents had taken him on a camping trip. To make a long story short, it didn't go by too well. And to make another long story short, Squid's sister thought it would be funny to put lizards in her little brother's sleeping bag. Let's just say that Squid is experiencing... dé ja vue.
Luckily for Squid, the lizards weren't yellow-spotted. However, they were angry enough to bite his feet during the middle of the night. Needless to say, the non-happy-camper was in a bit of pain. At that moment, the boys noticed Zero sitting quietly in his cot, flipping his thumb through a bunch of dollar bills.
"Hey, where'd you get all that money?" asked Armpit, as Twitch The Dweeb left to escort Squid to Mr. Pendanski for some bandages.
"Let's just say I helped out a little friend with my lizards," Zero said, stuffing the dough in his pocket and putting the lizards back in a box.
"Who?" X-Ray demanded.
"Mmm...I don't really feel like telling you."
"C'mon, WHO?!" pleaded Zig Zag, as if he couldn't guess.
"Uh--try to guess. We'll play charades."
"Um...okay..."
Zero grinned. He cupped one hand around his eye, and then rotated the other in a circle, indicating that the hint was a movie.
"A movie?" asked Magnet.
"Yeah, that's what I just said," said Sawyerzelda.
"Shut up and leave us alone," X-Ray said.
Zero continued as Sawyerzelda left and began plotting her revenge against X-Ray. He pretended to take some keys out of his pocket, and then acted as if he was going to unlock a door. Then Zero looked confused. He looked all around him, but couldn't see the imaginary thing he was looking for.
"Um...the...Gilligan's Island movie?" guessed Armpit.
Shaking his head, Zero sat back down on his cot. He put his hands up, as if holding onto a steering wheel, then pressed down on an invisible pedal and sped off. Next Zero hopped of his cot, putting a hand over his eyes and looking right and left.
"Oh!" exclaimed Zig Zag. "Dude, Where's My Car, right?"
"You got it," said Zero.
"So...are you saying that Ashton Kutcher paid you to put lizards in Squid's cot?" X-Ray said slowly.
"Let me finish," Zero said. "Take away the last three words of the title."
There was a pause.
"Oh, of COURSE!" laughed Magnet. "It was Dude, right?"
"Yup."
"I guess she still hasn't gotten over Squid breaking up with her yet," Magnet said, attempting to smother a laugh. "Heh heh...HEH HEH HEH!!!!"
"Magnet, stop scaring people," Zig Zag said slowly.
Meanwhile, in the other tent, Dude was laughing maniacally. "IT WORKED!! BUA HA HA!! IT PAYS TO KNOW WHAT YOUR FORMER BOYFRIEND IS AFRAID OF!! NYAH HA HA HAAA!!"
"You evil, sadistic person!" St. No-No shouted. "Some day I'll get revenge on you, Dude!! GRRRR!!"
"Oh, I'm so scared," Dude mocked her.
"Hey, where's Starfish?" yawned Eloisha, sitting up in her bed.
"Wow, she must've gone to breakfast already," said Hammer, getting up out of her cot. "She's not here."
"I thought it seemed a little too peaceful," groaned Ukulele Peanut, sitting up on her cot. "Sigh. Yawn. Snarfblatt."
"That sugar hasn't rubbed off you yet, has it?" Eloisha asked Peanut.
"I don't quite think so. But nowadays it's just random outbursts."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey, Starfish isn't here," Dude said, once they all entered the cafeteria. "Mr. Pendanski sir, where's Starfish?"
"Kathy's lawyer came for her last night," Mr. Pendanski said. "She is no longer with us, I'm afraid."
There was a long silence.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" the D-Tent girls shouted, dropping to their knees in slow motion.
"Um...sorry to depress you," Mr. Pendanski. "But Kathy's lawyer brought another juvenile delinquint with her--this is Leah, everybody." He brought a black-haired girl, who stared blankly back at them.
"....LEAH!!!" Dude shouted, getting to her feet and running up to hug the new kid. "It's been eons since I saw you! Wow, what're you in for?"
"I freed all the animals from the zoo," Leah explained.
"Hey, that's cool!" Zig Zag declared. "I wish that I could've done something like that! It sounds very interesting, really...I'll have to try it sometime! Exactly which zoo was it, Leah?"
"I can't remember," Leah said. "It was just some local zoo I felt like freeing animals from."
"I can easily relate to the wish of animals's freedom," Magnet said. "Maybe you're not such a bad replacement for Starfish after all!"
"HEY!!" reprimanded St. No-No. "Even though Leah is a very cool person, I'm sure, Kathy isn't just one of those people you can brush aside! SHE STILL HOLDS A VERY SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART, OKAY!?"
"I feel for you," Ukulele Peanut said comfortingly, putting an arm around St. No-No's shoulder. "But I'm sure we'll see Starfish again soon. Or maybe I'm lying."
"Hey, do you hear that?" Magnet asked, putting a hand to his ear. "That...really freaky music?"
"I recognize it!" Eloisha said. "It's the flying monkey music from the Wizard of Oz! How odd! Maybe the Warden is playing one of her old records again."
"LOOK, IT'S A HERD OF ANGRY BUZZARDS!!!" shrieked the whole cafeteria, ducking down under the tables.
"Really? Where?" asked Leah. "Hey, there they are! WOO!!"
Faster 'n you can say "There's No Place Like Home," the buzzards picked up Leah and swooped away with her.
Author's Note: For those with weak lungs, kidneys, ears or guts, I suggest that you do not read the following sentences.
"Ew, gross!" said Magnet. "They're pickin' out her eyeballs!"
"How disgusting," Eloisha said, turning away as blood and guts and gore showered all over them. "They're killing her!"
"So much for a new D-Tent member," sighed Ukulele Peanut.
......and Leah was no more.
"I TOLD you they always picked the eyeballs out first," Squid said, coming up from behind them on a pair of crutches.
"D-d-d-d-d-d-did they s-s-s-s-s-s-scare you?" Twitch asked Eloisha in his highly obnoxious voice.
"Not as much as you are," Eloisha said, backing away slowly. "So please do remember to stay within your personal boundaries. It would make me feel a lot more comfortable if you did."
"Hey Mr. Pendanski, where're you going?" X-Ray asked.
"I'd better report to the Warden that the buzzards attacked again," the counselor responded, dashing out of the cafeteria.
"HEY, STARFISH!!!" shouted Armpit, looking out the door and seeing none other than *fish her self running towards them all. "GUYS, LOOK! STARFISH IS BACK!!!"
"Wow, within like ten hours?" St. No-No asked incredulously.
"Mr. Pendanski said you were gone forever!" shouted Magnet and Eloisha.
"See?" Ukulele Peanut said, slapping St. No-No's back (rather roughly). "I told you we'd see her again! I just didn't realize it would be so soon, I guess. But Starfish, did you get a chance to what it's like out there in the real world nowadays? Did you miss us? You missed us, right? Why are you back so soon? What happened? How'd you get here? What's my favorite color? When did I--"
"I think you can stop the random rants, now," Dude said. "Starfish was about to explain everything before you opened that hole in your face."
"No I wasn't," Starfish said.
"....oh."
"But I will now, I guess."
"Yeah, I'd be interested in knowing exactly why you came back to Camp Green Lake," Zig Zag said.
"At first, I was glad to be going home. I thought it would be fun. Get back into civilization, you know? But during the long car drive, I realized how much I missed you all already, knowing how long it's gonna be 'till you guys finish up your sentences here. By the time we--"
"Awwww!" awwed Armpit. "You missed us!"
"Everyone but you," Starfish corrected him. "You stink too much for me to like you, I'm afraid."
Armpit frowned. "You're a poop!"
"....well you're a pee," Starfish said back to him. "Anyway, back to my story: I decided I couldn't stand to have to go through a day without you all with me. I'd have to bear pains on my own, without my friends there to help! So I got some rope out of the glove compartment and tied up my lawyer with it, and then she started screaming so I gagged her, and then we crashed into the truck in front of us, and then that caused us to block up traffic, and then my lawyer told me that I was in 'big trouble, young lady,' and then I--"
"What a lame reprimand," snorted St. No-No.
"Really," Magnet agreed. "My little sister could come up with something better than that, I think."
"Shhh!" Zig Zag shushed them. "I'm missing the story here!"
"Thank you, Zig Zag," Starfish said. "Anyway, I told my lawyer that it was all an honest mistake--just to make her blood boil, y'know--so then she told the cops to send me straight back to Camp Green Lake, and here I am!!"
"Oh, we're so glad!" Ukulele Peanut shouted, jumping up and down. "And in case you're wondering, no. I didn't have Lucky Charms for breakfast- -I just feel hyper again. You just missed something really cool, though."
"Ew, it was gross!" said Squid, who felt like resting on a chair rather than attempt to beat up Dude.
"It was....interesting," Hammer said.
"What was it?" Starfish asked curiously.
"Did you see that girl named Leah who your lawyer came with to pick you up?" asked X-Ray.
"Nope."
"Well, she was supposed to replace you. But to make a short story even shorter, a pack of angry buzzards came, picked her up, and basically devoured her in mid-air. It was, to quote Hammer, actually somewhat interesting."
"EW, that IS disgusting!!" Starfish said, sitting back on her chair. "Squid's the only one who makes sense here!" She turned around. "Speaking of Squid, it appears as if you've gotten Part II of your revenge, Dude! Congrats!"
"Thank you," Dude said, bowing.
"Hey, what's up with yer feet, Squid?" Mr. Sir asked, walking up to the D-Tent table. "Looks purty done bad."
"Dude put lizards in my cot and they tried to eat me alive!!" Squid complained, making his story a little melodramatic.
"You're making your story a little melodramatic," X-Ray noted, just to annoy the author by repeating her. (but, like a good sport, Sawyerzelda decided to ignore him). "You're just trying to get Dude in trouble."
"Well duh," St. No-No muttered under her breath. "AND I WOULD TOO, THAT ANNOYING BUSH-HATING BETRAYING FEIND!!"
"HEY!!" Dude retaliated. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STOLE SQUID AWAY FROM ME, YOU STINKY BOYFRIEND STEALER!!"
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" St. No-No shouted, getting into a rather frightening kung fu postion.
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?!" Dude yelled.
"Please do," Zig Zag said, taking Dude by the scruff of her shirt and throwing her out the door. St. No-No followed soon after.
"Hey, you can feel free to throw ME out the door," Eloisha said, who had been sitting quietly on the bench for the past few minutes.
"Um....that's okay."
"TWITCH!" Mr. Sir suddenly shouted.
"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yes, Mr. S-s-s-s-s-ir?"
"I give you permission to stop all that shuddering! Yer driving me nuts! So either cut it out, or I'm gonna take one of Armpit's dirty outfits and TIE IT AROUND YOUR STUPID HEAD, UNDERSTAND?!!?"
"W-w-w-w-w-w-ould that be a b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bad thing?" Twitch asked Zero quietly.
"Duh," Zero said. "He's not called Armpit for no reason."
Armpit laughed maniacally at his notoriousness, and Twitch immediately ceased his constant twitching.
"Looks as if the fight outside is turning ugly," Ukulele Peanut noted, glancing out of one of the windows. "Ooh, that must've hurt. St. No- No just threw Dude into the empty rain barrel! OHH! And Dude strikes back by body-slamming St. No-No into the hard, dirty ground! OH, AND NOW--"
"Having fun, Peanut?" Squid asked from his seat.
"Yes, why?"
"Guys, guess what the lawyer gave me when I got in her car?" Starfish said excitedly, bouncing up and down.
"A sedative?" Zig Zag asked sarcastically.
"Ha, ha, you're a scream. I had.....brace yourselves.....SIX WHOLE CANS OF CHERRY SEVEN UP!!"
"NOOO, YOU'RE SO LUCKY!!" Ukulele Peanut shouted enviously, abandoning her post by the window. "How did it taste? Was it good?"
"If it tasted bad, do you think I would've had six cans? Hey, no wonder we stopped at the bathroom so many times."
"You kids seem to forget you're here to dig," Mr. Sir said, making them all jump. They'd forgotten he was there. "Yer wastin' your precious dark hours!! So git on out there and start diggin'!"
"Yes sir, Mr. Sir," Ukulele Peanut said, saluting him. She proceeded to take a small piccolo (as if they came in any other size) out of her pocket, and then skipped off as she played a marching tune.
"What, no ukulele?" Magnet asked.
"Mr. Sir, do I really have to go out there and dig?" Squid asked.
"Nope, the Warden decided to let you stay in her cabin for the day," Mr. Sir answered. "You can watch TV, have some soda, pig out on her gourmet food, and then sleep as long as you want to."
Squid was stunned. "Really?!"
Spitting out a sun flower seed, Mr. Sir laughed sourly. "I'm kiddin' ya. Heh. No wonder Dude could pull the wool over your eyes."
"Hey, you can't say that about Squid!" complained Sawyerzelda.
"Oh YEAH?!" Mr. Sir challenged. "WHY NOT?!"
"Because I said so!" Sawyerzelda said. "And don't try arguing with ME, Buster Brown!! I have total control of this story, and I could SQUISH! YOU! LIKE! A! BUG! if I wanted to!! So you'd better do as I say, and leave this poor boy alone!"
"Righto, Gov'ner," Mr. Sir said. Hastily, he sped out of the cafeteria.
"Thanks, Sawyerzelda," Squid said, slowly getting up onto his crutches. "I think Mr. Sir needed that. "But I do think you scared him."
"Well he needs to be scared!" Sawyerzelda said seriously. "And so do you!"
".....and why would that be?"
"Because of what I have in store for the NEXT CHAPTER!! HA HAA HAAAA!! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!"
And just like that, the sound of Sawyerzelda's evil laughter vanished. A phone rang somewhere. Hesitating, Squid made his was over to it and was about to pick it up, when he thought, 'Since when is there a telephone in here?!'
Shrugging it off, he picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"YOU HAVE APPROXIMATELY SEVEN DAYS TO LIVE!!" Sawyerzelda's voice yelled into the phone, causing Squid to fall over backwards. "Ah, just kidding."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
yay, joy, another chapter done! plz review, avid readers!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next morning, D-Tent awoke to the melodious sound of somebody screaming his head off.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH--"
"Squid, what is it?" asked Magnet.
"--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH--"
"Woah, look at that!" exclaimed X-Ray, pointing towards Squid's cot.
"--AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! GET 'EM OFF!!! GET 'EM OUT OF HERE!! HELP ME!! HELP ME!!! YAAAAAH!!!"
"This is rather amusing," said Zig Zag, sitting up on his bed and watching Squid with interest.
By now, you may be wondering what exactly was the matter with Squid. Or rather his cot. I suppose I'll tell you. Wait--before I can tell you THAT story, I have to tell you THIS story...
Back in the days when Squid was a wee young lad, his parents had taken him on a camping trip. To make a long story short, it didn't go by too well. And to make another long story short, Squid's sister thought it would be funny to put lizards in her little brother's sleeping bag. Let's just say that Squid is experiencing... dé ja vue.
Luckily for Squid, the lizards weren't yellow-spotted. However, they were angry enough to bite his feet during the middle of the night. Needless to say, the non-happy-camper was in a bit of pain. At that moment, the boys noticed Zero sitting quietly in his cot, flipping his thumb through a bunch of dollar bills.
"Hey, where'd you get all that money?" asked Armpit, as Twitch The Dweeb left to escort Squid to Mr. Pendanski for some bandages.
"Let's just say I helped out a little friend with my lizards," Zero said, stuffing the dough in his pocket and putting the lizards back in a box.
"Who?" X-Ray demanded.
"Mmm...I don't really feel like telling you."
"C'mon, WHO?!" pleaded Zig Zag, as if he couldn't guess.
"Uh--try to guess. We'll play charades."
"Um...okay..."
Zero grinned. He cupped one hand around his eye, and then rotated the other in a circle, indicating that the hint was a movie.
"A movie?" asked Magnet.
"Yeah, that's what I just said," said Sawyerzelda.
"Shut up and leave us alone," X-Ray said.
Zero continued as Sawyerzelda left and began plotting her revenge against X-Ray. He pretended to take some keys out of his pocket, and then acted as if he was going to unlock a door. Then Zero looked confused. He looked all around him, but couldn't see the imaginary thing he was looking for.
"Um...the...Gilligan's Island movie?" guessed Armpit.
Shaking his head, Zero sat back down on his cot. He put his hands up, as if holding onto a steering wheel, then pressed down on an invisible pedal and sped off. Next Zero hopped of his cot, putting a hand over his eyes and looking right and left.
"Oh!" exclaimed Zig Zag. "Dude, Where's My Car, right?"
"You got it," said Zero.
"So...are you saying that Ashton Kutcher paid you to put lizards in Squid's cot?" X-Ray said slowly.
"Let me finish," Zero said. "Take away the last three words of the title."
There was a pause.
"Oh, of COURSE!" laughed Magnet. "It was Dude, right?"
"Yup."
"I guess she still hasn't gotten over Squid breaking up with her yet," Magnet said, attempting to smother a laugh. "Heh heh...HEH HEH HEH!!!!"
"Magnet, stop scaring people," Zig Zag said slowly.
Meanwhile, in the other tent, Dude was laughing maniacally. "IT WORKED!! BUA HA HA!! IT PAYS TO KNOW WHAT YOUR FORMER BOYFRIEND IS AFRAID OF!! NYAH HA HA HAAA!!"
"You evil, sadistic person!" St. No-No shouted. "Some day I'll get revenge on you, Dude!! GRRRR!!"
"Oh, I'm so scared," Dude mocked her.
"Hey, where's Starfish?" yawned Eloisha, sitting up in her bed.
"Wow, she must've gone to breakfast already," said Hammer, getting up out of her cot. "She's not here."
"I thought it seemed a little too peaceful," groaned Ukulele Peanut, sitting up on her cot. "Sigh. Yawn. Snarfblatt."
"That sugar hasn't rubbed off you yet, has it?" Eloisha asked Peanut.
"I don't quite think so. But nowadays it's just random outbursts."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"Hey, Starfish isn't here," Dude said, once they all entered the cafeteria. "Mr. Pendanski sir, where's Starfish?"
"Kathy's lawyer came for her last night," Mr. Pendanski said. "She is no longer with us, I'm afraid."
There was a long silence.
"NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" the D-Tent girls shouted, dropping to their knees in slow motion.
"Um...sorry to depress you," Mr. Pendanski. "But Kathy's lawyer brought another juvenile delinquint with her--this is Leah, everybody." He brought a black-haired girl, who stared blankly back at them.
"....LEAH!!!" Dude shouted, getting to her feet and running up to hug the new kid. "It's been eons since I saw you! Wow, what're you in for?"
"I freed all the animals from the zoo," Leah explained.
"Hey, that's cool!" Zig Zag declared. "I wish that I could've done something like that! It sounds very interesting, really...I'll have to try it sometime! Exactly which zoo was it, Leah?"
"I can't remember," Leah said. "It was just some local zoo I felt like freeing animals from."
"I can easily relate to the wish of animals's freedom," Magnet said. "Maybe you're not such a bad replacement for Starfish after all!"
"HEY!!" reprimanded St. No-No. "Even though Leah is a very cool person, I'm sure, Kathy isn't just one of those people you can brush aside! SHE STILL HOLDS A VERY SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART, OKAY!?"
"I feel for you," Ukulele Peanut said comfortingly, putting an arm around St. No-No's shoulder. "But I'm sure we'll see Starfish again soon. Or maybe I'm lying."
"Hey, do you hear that?" Magnet asked, putting a hand to his ear. "That...really freaky music?"
"I recognize it!" Eloisha said. "It's the flying monkey music from the Wizard of Oz! How odd! Maybe the Warden is playing one of her old records again."
"LOOK, IT'S A HERD OF ANGRY BUZZARDS!!!" shrieked the whole cafeteria, ducking down under the tables.
"Really? Where?" asked Leah. "Hey, there they are! WOO!!"
Faster 'n you can say "There's No Place Like Home," the buzzards picked up Leah and swooped away with her.
Author's Note: For those with weak lungs, kidneys, ears or guts, I suggest that you do not read the following sentences.
"Ew, gross!" said Magnet. "They're pickin' out her eyeballs!"
"How disgusting," Eloisha said, turning away as blood and guts and gore showered all over them. "They're killing her!"
"So much for a new D-Tent member," sighed Ukulele Peanut.
......and Leah was no more.
"I TOLD you they always picked the eyeballs out first," Squid said, coming up from behind them on a pair of crutches.
"D-d-d-d-d-d-did they s-s-s-s-s-s-scare you?" Twitch asked Eloisha in his highly obnoxious voice.
"Not as much as you are," Eloisha said, backing away slowly. "So please do remember to stay within your personal boundaries. It would make me feel a lot more comfortable if you did."
"Hey Mr. Pendanski, where're you going?" X-Ray asked.
"I'd better report to the Warden that the buzzards attacked again," the counselor responded, dashing out of the cafeteria.
"HEY, STARFISH!!!" shouted Armpit, looking out the door and seeing none other than *fish her self running towards them all. "GUYS, LOOK! STARFISH IS BACK!!!"
"Wow, within like ten hours?" St. No-No asked incredulously.
"Mr. Pendanski said you were gone forever!" shouted Magnet and Eloisha.
"See?" Ukulele Peanut said, slapping St. No-No's back (rather roughly). "I told you we'd see her again! I just didn't realize it would be so soon, I guess. But Starfish, did you get a chance to what it's like out there in the real world nowadays? Did you miss us? You missed us, right? Why are you back so soon? What happened? How'd you get here? What's my favorite color? When did I--"
"I think you can stop the random rants, now," Dude said. "Starfish was about to explain everything before you opened that hole in your face."
"No I wasn't," Starfish said.
"....oh."
"But I will now, I guess."
"Yeah, I'd be interested in knowing exactly why you came back to Camp Green Lake," Zig Zag said.
"At first, I was glad to be going home. I thought it would be fun. Get back into civilization, you know? But during the long car drive, I realized how much I missed you all already, knowing how long it's gonna be 'till you guys finish up your sentences here. By the time we--"
"Awwww!" awwed Armpit. "You missed us!"
"Everyone but you," Starfish corrected him. "You stink too much for me to like you, I'm afraid."
Armpit frowned. "You're a poop!"
"....well you're a pee," Starfish said back to him. "Anyway, back to my story: I decided I couldn't stand to have to go through a day without you all with me. I'd have to bear pains on my own, without my friends there to help! So I got some rope out of the glove compartment and tied up my lawyer with it, and then she started screaming so I gagged her, and then we crashed into the truck in front of us, and then that caused us to block up traffic, and then my lawyer told me that I was in 'big trouble, young lady,' and then I--"
"What a lame reprimand," snorted St. No-No.
"Really," Magnet agreed. "My little sister could come up with something better than that, I think."
"Shhh!" Zig Zag shushed them. "I'm missing the story here!"
"Thank you, Zig Zag," Starfish said. "Anyway, I told my lawyer that it was all an honest mistake--just to make her blood boil, y'know--so then she told the cops to send me straight back to Camp Green Lake, and here I am!!"
"Oh, we're so glad!" Ukulele Peanut shouted, jumping up and down. "And in case you're wondering, no. I didn't have Lucky Charms for breakfast- -I just feel hyper again. You just missed something really cool, though."
"Ew, it was gross!" said Squid, who felt like resting on a chair rather than attempt to beat up Dude.
"It was....interesting," Hammer said.
"What was it?" Starfish asked curiously.
"Did you see that girl named Leah who your lawyer came with to pick you up?" asked X-Ray.
"Nope."
"Well, she was supposed to replace you. But to make a short story even shorter, a pack of angry buzzards came, picked her up, and basically devoured her in mid-air. It was, to quote Hammer, actually somewhat interesting."
"EW, that IS disgusting!!" Starfish said, sitting back on her chair. "Squid's the only one who makes sense here!" She turned around. "Speaking of Squid, it appears as if you've gotten Part II of your revenge, Dude! Congrats!"
"Thank you," Dude said, bowing.
"Hey, what's up with yer feet, Squid?" Mr. Sir asked, walking up to the D-Tent table. "Looks purty done bad."
"Dude put lizards in my cot and they tried to eat me alive!!" Squid complained, making his story a little melodramatic.
"You're making your story a little melodramatic," X-Ray noted, just to annoy the author by repeating her. (but, like a good sport, Sawyerzelda decided to ignore him). "You're just trying to get Dude in trouble."
"Well duh," St. No-No muttered under her breath. "AND I WOULD TOO, THAT ANNOYING BUSH-HATING BETRAYING FEIND!!"
"HEY!!" Dude retaliated. "YOU'RE THE ONE WHO STOLE SQUID AWAY FROM ME, YOU STINKY BOYFRIEND STEALER!!"
"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?" St. No-No shouted, getting into a rather frightening kung fu postion.
"YOU WANNA TAKE THIS OUTSIDE?!" Dude yelled.
"Please do," Zig Zag said, taking Dude by the scruff of her shirt and throwing her out the door. St. No-No followed soon after.
"Hey, you can feel free to throw ME out the door," Eloisha said, who had been sitting quietly on the bench for the past few minutes.
"Um....that's okay."
"TWITCH!" Mr. Sir suddenly shouted.
"Y-y-y-y-y-y-yes, Mr. S-s-s-s-s-ir?"
"I give you permission to stop all that shuddering! Yer driving me nuts! So either cut it out, or I'm gonna take one of Armpit's dirty outfits and TIE IT AROUND YOUR STUPID HEAD, UNDERSTAND?!!?"
"W-w-w-w-w-w-ould that be a b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-bad thing?" Twitch asked Zero quietly.
"Duh," Zero said. "He's not called Armpit for no reason."
Armpit laughed maniacally at his notoriousness, and Twitch immediately ceased his constant twitching.
"Looks as if the fight outside is turning ugly," Ukulele Peanut noted, glancing out of one of the windows. "Ooh, that must've hurt. St. No- No just threw Dude into the empty rain barrel! OHH! And Dude strikes back by body-slamming St. No-No into the hard, dirty ground! OH, AND NOW--"
"Having fun, Peanut?" Squid asked from his seat.
"Yes, why?"
"Guys, guess what the lawyer gave me when I got in her car?" Starfish said excitedly, bouncing up and down.
"A sedative?" Zig Zag asked sarcastically.
"Ha, ha, you're a scream. I had.....brace yourselves.....SIX WHOLE CANS OF CHERRY SEVEN UP!!"
"NOOO, YOU'RE SO LUCKY!!" Ukulele Peanut shouted enviously, abandoning her post by the window. "How did it taste? Was it good?"
"If it tasted bad, do you think I would've had six cans? Hey, no wonder we stopped at the bathroom so many times."
"You kids seem to forget you're here to dig," Mr. Sir said, making them all jump. They'd forgotten he was there. "Yer wastin' your precious dark hours!! So git on out there and start diggin'!"
"Yes sir, Mr. Sir," Ukulele Peanut said, saluting him. She proceeded to take a small piccolo (as if they came in any other size) out of her pocket, and then skipped off as she played a marching tune.
"What, no ukulele?" Magnet asked.
"Mr. Sir, do I really have to go out there and dig?" Squid asked.
"Nope, the Warden decided to let you stay in her cabin for the day," Mr. Sir answered. "You can watch TV, have some soda, pig out on her gourmet food, and then sleep as long as you want to."
Squid was stunned. "Really?!"
Spitting out a sun flower seed, Mr. Sir laughed sourly. "I'm kiddin' ya. Heh. No wonder Dude could pull the wool over your eyes."
"Hey, you can't say that about Squid!" complained Sawyerzelda.
"Oh YEAH?!" Mr. Sir challenged. "WHY NOT?!"
"Because I said so!" Sawyerzelda said. "And don't try arguing with ME, Buster Brown!! I have total control of this story, and I could SQUISH! YOU! LIKE! A! BUG! if I wanted to!! So you'd better do as I say, and leave this poor boy alone!"
"Righto, Gov'ner," Mr. Sir said. Hastily, he sped out of the cafeteria.
"Thanks, Sawyerzelda," Squid said, slowly getting up onto his crutches. "I think Mr. Sir needed that. "But I do think you scared him."
"Well he needs to be scared!" Sawyerzelda said seriously. "And so do you!"
".....and why would that be?"
"Because of what I have in store for the NEXT CHAPTER!! HA HAA HAAAA!! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!!!"
And just like that, the sound of Sawyerzelda's evil laughter vanished. A phone rang somewhere. Hesitating, Squid made his was over to it and was about to pick it up, when he thought, 'Since when is there a telephone in here?!'
Shrugging it off, he picked up the phone. "Hello?"
"YOU HAVE APPROXIMATELY SEVEN DAYS TO LIVE!!" Sawyerzelda's voice yelled into the phone, causing Squid to fall over backwards. "Ah, just kidding."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
yay, joy, another chapter done! plz review, avid readers!!