nora, this is wen u get ur much awaited revenge!! elise, u r gonna b so mad
at me!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
St. No-No shook Ukulele Peanut that same night. "Peanut!" she hissed. "Come on, wake up already!"
"All right," Peanut yawned, getting up. "What do--"
"SH!!" St. No-No shushed her. "Everyone else is still asleep! You've got to be quiet! If Dude wakes up while we're doing this, I'll be toastier 'n french toast within the time scheme of .233 and a half seconds!!"
"Not so many words this early in the morning," Ukulele Peanut complained, getting out of bed. "So did you say you wanted me to get Dude's working clothes out of her crate, or something like that?"
"Yeah, I got them for you already," St. No-No answered, shoving the orange clothes into Peanut's hands. Then she gave her a bucket filled with.....something. "Here, take this outside and soak the clothes in it until I tell you to come back."
"But what if I get caught??" Peanut asked worriedly, as St. No-No attempted to shove her out the tent.
"Just go in a hole and no one will see you!"
"Fine, all right!"
"Heh heh heh heh," St. No-No chuckled evilly, rubbing her hands together. She proceeded to pick up a bucket similar to the one she'd given Ukulele Peanut, and walked towards Dude's bed....
The next morning.......
"Bueeeeeeeenos dias," Magnet said, sitting up in his bed and stretching. "I hope you all slept-a veeeeeery very good."
"My foot is in pain," whined Squid, slowly positioning his legs at the end of his dirty stinkin' cot. "I can't believe Dude would go to such evil extents to try and get revenge on me!! What kind of ex-girlfriend is she anyway?"
"Who knows?" Zig Zag said.
"Hey, there's a letter for you here, Zig Zag," said Armpit, picking up a note that had been slid underneath the flap. "Oooooh, it must be from one of the girls!!"
"Not necessarily," Magnet said. "Remember that time I got the note from Hammer's mother and I....oh, never mind, I do NOT want to re-live that horrid memory."
"Give it here," Zig Zag said, taking the letter from Armpit. He walked outside of the tent to avoid their eyes, and opened it.
"To Zig Zag....
Wo AI ni! U r sexy like a pigeon and that is a true compliment. but i don't think i should tell u who i am b/c hammer is supposed 2 b w/ u and i already feel bad about writing this but i had to get it out, u know?
i'm sry. u cannot find me, u cannot trace me.
Signed, a D-Tent girl who isn't St. No-No, Ukulele Peanut, Starfish, Hammer, or Dude"
ZZ stared at the letter, recalling the names of all his female counterparts. The only one not listed was Eloisha. Instead of wondering where this sudden passion came from, he wondered if she had meant to give hersellf away at the end of the letter. But he couldn't think about that right now. Hastily, Zig Zag stuffed the letter in his pocket and walked towards the cafeteria.
"Yo yo yo!" X-Ray said, catching up to him and slapping him roughly on the back. "Who was the note from?"
"I dunno," Zig Zag said. "They didn't sign it." Somewhat truthful.
"Really? Let me see it." X-Ray grinned. "Maybe I'll be able to recognize their handwriting. C'mon, lemme see."
"No," Zig Zag said, trying to quicken his pace.
"Why don't you want me to see it?" X-Ray asked, almost laughing. "Don't be a spoil sport, Zig!"
"Back off!" Zig Zag said, shoving X slightly.
X-Ray gasped at him and there was a long silence. Then he marched up to Zig Zag, pointed a finger in his face, and said, "You did NOT just disrupt my ghetto!!"
"...............whatever," Zig Zag muttered, walking into the cafeteria.
He could feel someone watching him. And sure enough, it was....Starfish.
"Good morning," she said brightly.
"You seem uncharacteristacally glad this morning," Zig Zag said.
"That's because I'M playing the glad game," Starfish said happily, continuing to smile. "It's when you take a bad situation and find the glad side of it. It's supposed to make you a better, happier, nicer person."
Zig Zag stared at her. Starfish's strained smile started to fade away.
".....it's not working, is it?"
"No."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"
"What the haystack in the middle of the merry merry month of May?!" Starfish said, hopping out of her seat at the same time as Zig Zag and running outdoors. She gaped at what stood before her. "Dude! You're.....you're.....!"
"MY CLOTHES HAVE ALL BEEN STAINED BABY PINK!!!" Dude screamed miserably. "WHAT IN THE GOOD NAME OF BROOKE L. POTTER COULD'VE HAPPENED TO ME?!?!"
"Gee, I don't know," St. No-No said in a mocking voice, walking up to her arch-nemises. "Maybe--and this is just a guess--maybe it has to do something with you going back on one of your friends by tormenting Squid and tremendously hurting her feelings and she felt the need to get revenge on YOU!!.....keep in mind this is all a guess."
"YOU!!" Dude said, not making the connection at all and rounding on Ukulele Peanut. "YOU HAVE PINK PAINT ON YOUR HANDS!!"
"Hey, don't point fingers at me!" Peanut squealed. "I'm only a co- conspirator! St. No-No is the real villain here!"
"Well duh," St. No-No said.
"I understand that you wanted revenge," Dude whispered, starting to get teary-eyed. "But for the love of secretaries, woman! Did you have to go this FAR?! Look--I'm sorry for what I did to Squid, but I had to! He murdered my pet lizard when I was in third grade and then kept it a secret from me all these years!"
"That's so sad!" St. No-No sniffed, wiping away a tear. "I'm sorry!"
There was a silence.
Dude held out her hand. "Truce?"
St. No-No grinned. "Truce." They shook hands, but then St. No-No frowned. "Uh-oh. This isn't good."
"What?" asked Dude.
"I don't think I can send back the CPB," St. No-No answered, snapping on some earmuffs that completely blocked out all sound. "It's every man for himself, Dude! EVERYONE, THEY SHOULD BE COMING ANY MINUTE!! PUT ON THOSE EARMUFFS I GAVE YOU!!"
Dude looked around in confusion as everyone put on fuzzy earmuffs. "What's going on? What's the CPB?"
"SORRY?" St. No-No asked, putting a hand to her ear. "OH, YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHO THE CPB IS, RIGHT?"
Dude nodded.
"IT'S AN ACRONYM! IT STANDS FOR COUNTRY BAND PEOPLE! SEE, BEFORE WE HAD A TRUCE, I HIRED THEM TO COME HERE AND FOLLOW YOU AROUND ALL DAY. BEST START DIGGIN'!"
"You did WHAT?!" Dude asked in horror. She heard footsteps approaching her. She whipped around and saw a cowboy wearing a pink bandana and polka-dotted boots. He touched his hat and started riddling away on a banjo.
"YOUR PLOT FAILED, ST. NO-NO!!" Dude shouted after her. "I THINK BANJOS ARE COOL!!"
Then came the harmonica players.
"AHHH!! NOOOO!! HARMONICAS!! LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU BLOOD-THIRSTY WESTERN PEOPLE!!"
However, the CPB persisted in their playing and followed Dude down to her hole. They stayed there all day.
"Hey, free CPB concert!" said Mr. Sir, who had just gotten out of the water truck. "Where'd you guys come from?" But they were too busy serenading Dude to hear him. Mr. Sir took out a walkie talkie and said, "Lou? Come down here, quick! It's the CPB!! They're giving a free concert!!"
Approximately two seconds later, the Warden drove up in her shiny Cadillac. She opened her car door and proceeded to do-si-do with Mr. Sir. "I haven't had this much fun since we did square dancing in the 4th grade!"
"You TRAITOR!!" Dude shouted over the noise. "How can you possibly like Evanescence and COUNTRY music as the same time?! It's physically-- well, actually mentally--impossible! C'est impossibluh!"
Rather unfortunately for Dude, the CPB did not leave until dusk. Poor thing. I'm so evil, aren't I?
"YES, YOU ARE!!" Dude said loudly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next day, D-Tent approached Twitch, who had dug about two inches within two hours.
"You know, you're about the slowest digger I've EVER met," X-Ray said. "You're even slower than Caveman, and that has GOT to be a record. He could manage at least double what you've done in the time you've had."
"Great way to lower my self esteem," Twitch sniffed, who was controlling his twitching complex rather well.
"Awwww, that's just too bad, isn't it?" Zig Zag said, patting him on the head rather roughly. "And don't you even think about trying to pick a fight with me. You'd be dead quicker than you can say--"
"PUCCA!!" Eloisha supplied, jumping in the air.
"Uh, yeah, what she said," Zig Zag said slowly. "The point is, Twitch, nobody likes you. You annoy us beyond words. You disgust us, we despise you, your presence is even worse than Armpit's stench, and I really could go on."
"Ohhhhhhh, he dissed you, man!" Armpit laughed. He stopped abruptly. "Hey, that wasn't funny!"
"Why do you wanna hurt me like this?" Twitch said, sniffling.
"You baby," Eloisha muttered.
"B-but I like you, you're nice!" Twitch said.
Eloisha screamed and jumped into Starfish's arms. "STARFISH, HELP ME!!"
"There's only one thing to do," Starfish said, dropping Eloisha. "You'll have to be disposed of, Twitch. You had it coming. You are a ward of the state, correct? I heard the Warden say that."
"Y-yeah," Twitch stammered. "So?"
"So no one will care when you go," Zig Zag said, taking Twitch by the arm and dragging him towards the hole he'd dug yesterday.
"Go where?" Twitch, as he was thrown into the hole. "The bathroom?"
"No, you idiot," Ukulele Peanut said, wrinkling her nose. "That's just disturbing. I could've definitely gone the rest of my life without hearing that."
"But why don't you see the light, Eloisha?" Twitch pleaded, not noticing that the others were all beginning to dump dirt onto him. "Why must you join your fellows and do this terrible thing to me??"
"Because she likes someone else, you perv!" Zig Zag blurted. "Say good-bye, Twitch. Peace out."
And with that, Twitch had been buried into hole five feet deep and five feet in diameter. He was no more.
"Hu-shaaa!" Dude said, high-fiving Ukulele Peanut.
"Man, what an idiot," Peanut laughed. "I guess that means we'll have to keep waiting for someone cool to take Barf Bag's place. First we have Stanley, who had really dorky hair and a messed up attitude, and then we had Twitch, who annoyed everyone with his twitchy presence."
"I noticed that you didn't take place in the digging ceremony, Eloisha," Hammer said, waving a hand in front of her face. "You there?"
Eloisha sighed. "Another one of my fans gone." She walked away, back to the tent. Zero squinted his eyes and walked after her.
"Please tell me your sudden mood change has nothing to do with us burying Twitch alive," Zero said, tapping her elbow.
"Just go away," Eloisha said in a cold, soft way. She turned around and saw Dude doing stag leaps over holes, St. No-No and Ukulele Peanut doing the robot, Armpit doing an Irish jig, X-Ray staring at them all blankly, and Zig Zag and Hammer waltzing about. That was the final straw. "Leave me alone, Zero."
"What're you mad at me for?" Zero asked. Dude screamed in the backround as she stag-leapt right into Magnet's hole, but Eloisha and Zero didn't hear it. She remained silent. "Would at least tell me why you're mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you," Eloisha sighed.
"Well then what's wrong?"
Eloisha laughed. "Like I'd tell you."
"I wish you would. Even if it's not me, you have talk about what's bothering you to SOMEone."
"HEY!" Starfish said, popping up out of no where and putting an arm around her best friend. "Eloisha has the right to say zero to you, Zero!"
"Hey, I GET it!!" Ukulele Peanut shouted from about a hundred and fifty yards away. "You said zero, and then Zero!! HA HAA!!"
"Quiet, Peanut!" X-Ray shushed her. "St. No-No, I think you'd better go check up on Squid. He's pretty bummed about not being able to join in on the disposing of Twitch The Annoying."
"Okay."
"Starfish, I was actually about to tell Zero my problem before you bounded up," Eloisha said.
"Are you saying I'm in the way?" Starfish sniffed.
"No, no, I only meant that--"
"FINE! JUST DUMP ME!! LEAVE ME IN THE GUTTER!! WE USED TO HAVE A PSYCHIC CONNECTION, ELOISHA!! AND YOU'VE SHATTERED IT COMPLETELY!! I'LL BE ALL RIGHT! DON'T FOLLOW ME!!"
Boo-hooing, Starfish ran off.
"Oh, great! Now another load on my mind!" Eloisha sobbed, squatting and wiping at her eyes. "I got a letter from home, Zero! And....and it's...." She sobbed loudly again, pulling a tissue out of her pocket.
"What happened?" Zero asked. "Did somebody die?" Well, he sure is straight forward, isn't he?
Suddenly, Eloisha stood straight and smiled brightly. "Like it? My parents wrote me and said that I get to have the lead in the play the school is producing in two years, when I'll be out of here. I was just practicing for the part because I really need to brush up my acting and I-- Zero?......Zero? Hmmm.....you appear to have fainted."
"AI YA, ELOISHA!!" Zero shouted, getting to his feet. "You scared that freakin' daylights outta me! I was so worried!"
"Awww, how sweet!" Eloisha said. "It's so nice to know someone cares!"
"Woah....did I just say that out loud?"
"Uh, no, I don't think so," Eloisha replied. "You said, 'AI YA, ELOISHA!! You scared the freakin' daylights outta me! I was so worried!!' ....nope, you never said the word 'that.'"
It took a moment for Zero to grasp what she said. He rolled his eyes. "Oi. Never mind."
Meanwhile, Squid was lying in his cot in pain, with St. No-No sitting in a rocking chair next to it. She was reading to him out of one of her favorite books.
"To be, or not...to be?" St. No-No said. "THAT....is the question to ask."
'Help me!' Squid said, shoving his face deeper into his pillow.
In the meantime....
"A weary, red, rickety train rounded the equally rickety ragged railroad," Dude said to X-Ray. "How many R's are in that?"
"Nine," answered X-Ray, grinning. "That's right, right?"
Dude stared at him. "Oh, never mind. You were supposed to say there were none. Zip. Zero."
"Someone call me?" Zero asked, sticking his head into view.
"No," Dude answered, shoving him away.
"But if I said there were no r's, I'd be lying," X-Ray said slowly. "And that just ain't right, girl."
"I asked you how many r's are in THAT," Dude said. "Like, the word. THAT. There are no r's in that word!"
"......OHHHHH!! I get it now!" X-Ray said proudly.
"Dude, you may want these," Magnet said, giving her a pair of earmuffs. "Go ahead, put them on."
"Why, are there some mandrakes nearby?" Dude asked, hesitating.
"No, the Warden and Mr. Sir paid the CPB to come back and play during dinner. I thought you might want some protection this time, so I got you Squid's earmuffs. I shouldn't have taken them, though. I'll bet he could've used them at this specific point in time." He snickered.
"Why?" X-Ray asked.
"St. No-No is reading him Shakespeare," Magnet answered. "Hee hee hee!!"
"Ho, ho, ho!" laughed X-Ray.
"And a couple of la-dee-dahs!" sang Hammer, Ukulele Peanut and Zig Zag, coming onto the scene. "That's how we laugh the day away in the merry old land of Oz! Aaa-ha ha ha!! ha ha ha!! Ha ha--"
"Okay, you can stop now," Dude said.
"Could you even dye my eyes to match my gown?" said Hammer.
"Uh-huh!" Zig Zag answered.
Slowly, Magnet and Dude put on their earmuffs and walked away. X-Ray stayed, tapping his foot to the jolly ole beat.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
a/n:
the wizard of oz!! YAY!! if u haven't seen that, u have had a deprived childhood.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
St. No-No shook Ukulele Peanut that same night. "Peanut!" she hissed. "Come on, wake up already!"
"All right," Peanut yawned, getting up. "What do--"
"SH!!" St. No-No shushed her. "Everyone else is still asleep! You've got to be quiet! If Dude wakes up while we're doing this, I'll be toastier 'n french toast within the time scheme of .233 and a half seconds!!"
"Not so many words this early in the morning," Ukulele Peanut complained, getting out of bed. "So did you say you wanted me to get Dude's working clothes out of her crate, or something like that?"
"Yeah, I got them for you already," St. No-No answered, shoving the orange clothes into Peanut's hands. Then she gave her a bucket filled with.....something. "Here, take this outside and soak the clothes in it until I tell you to come back."
"But what if I get caught??" Peanut asked worriedly, as St. No-No attempted to shove her out the tent.
"Just go in a hole and no one will see you!"
"Fine, all right!"
"Heh heh heh heh," St. No-No chuckled evilly, rubbing her hands together. She proceeded to pick up a bucket similar to the one she'd given Ukulele Peanut, and walked towards Dude's bed....
The next morning.......
"Bueeeeeeeenos dias," Magnet said, sitting up in his bed and stretching. "I hope you all slept-a veeeeeery very good."
"My foot is in pain," whined Squid, slowly positioning his legs at the end of his dirty stinkin' cot. "I can't believe Dude would go to such evil extents to try and get revenge on me!! What kind of ex-girlfriend is she anyway?"
"Who knows?" Zig Zag said.
"Hey, there's a letter for you here, Zig Zag," said Armpit, picking up a note that had been slid underneath the flap. "Oooooh, it must be from one of the girls!!"
"Not necessarily," Magnet said. "Remember that time I got the note from Hammer's mother and I....oh, never mind, I do NOT want to re-live that horrid memory."
"Give it here," Zig Zag said, taking the letter from Armpit. He walked outside of the tent to avoid their eyes, and opened it.
"To Zig Zag....
Wo AI ni! U r sexy like a pigeon and that is a true compliment. but i don't think i should tell u who i am b/c hammer is supposed 2 b w/ u and i already feel bad about writing this but i had to get it out, u know?
i'm sry. u cannot find me, u cannot trace me.
Signed, a D-Tent girl who isn't St. No-No, Ukulele Peanut, Starfish, Hammer, or Dude"
ZZ stared at the letter, recalling the names of all his female counterparts. The only one not listed was Eloisha. Instead of wondering where this sudden passion came from, he wondered if she had meant to give hersellf away at the end of the letter. But he couldn't think about that right now. Hastily, Zig Zag stuffed the letter in his pocket and walked towards the cafeteria.
"Yo yo yo!" X-Ray said, catching up to him and slapping him roughly on the back. "Who was the note from?"
"I dunno," Zig Zag said. "They didn't sign it." Somewhat truthful.
"Really? Let me see it." X-Ray grinned. "Maybe I'll be able to recognize their handwriting. C'mon, lemme see."
"No," Zig Zag said, trying to quicken his pace.
"Why don't you want me to see it?" X-Ray asked, almost laughing. "Don't be a spoil sport, Zig!"
"Back off!" Zig Zag said, shoving X slightly.
X-Ray gasped at him and there was a long silence. Then he marched up to Zig Zag, pointed a finger in his face, and said, "You did NOT just disrupt my ghetto!!"
"...............whatever," Zig Zag muttered, walking into the cafeteria.
He could feel someone watching him. And sure enough, it was....Starfish.
"Good morning," she said brightly.
"You seem uncharacteristacally glad this morning," Zig Zag said.
"That's because I'M playing the glad game," Starfish said happily, continuing to smile. "It's when you take a bad situation and find the glad side of it. It's supposed to make you a better, happier, nicer person."
Zig Zag stared at her. Starfish's strained smile started to fade away.
".....it's not working, is it?"
"No."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!"
"What the haystack in the middle of the merry merry month of May?!" Starfish said, hopping out of her seat at the same time as Zig Zag and running outdoors. She gaped at what stood before her. "Dude! You're.....you're.....!"
"MY CLOTHES HAVE ALL BEEN STAINED BABY PINK!!!" Dude screamed miserably. "WHAT IN THE GOOD NAME OF BROOKE L. POTTER COULD'VE HAPPENED TO ME?!?!"
"Gee, I don't know," St. No-No said in a mocking voice, walking up to her arch-nemises. "Maybe--and this is just a guess--maybe it has to do something with you going back on one of your friends by tormenting Squid and tremendously hurting her feelings and she felt the need to get revenge on YOU!!.....keep in mind this is all a guess."
"YOU!!" Dude said, not making the connection at all and rounding on Ukulele Peanut. "YOU HAVE PINK PAINT ON YOUR HANDS!!"
"Hey, don't point fingers at me!" Peanut squealed. "I'm only a co- conspirator! St. No-No is the real villain here!"
"Well duh," St. No-No said.
"I understand that you wanted revenge," Dude whispered, starting to get teary-eyed. "But for the love of secretaries, woman! Did you have to go this FAR?! Look--I'm sorry for what I did to Squid, but I had to! He murdered my pet lizard when I was in third grade and then kept it a secret from me all these years!"
"That's so sad!" St. No-No sniffed, wiping away a tear. "I'm sorry!"
There was a silence.
Dude held out her hand. "Truce?"
St. No-No grinned. "Truce." They shook hands, but then St. No-No frowned. "Uh-oh. This isn't good."
"What?" asked Dude.
"I don't think I can send back the CPB," St. No-No answered, snapping on some earmuffs that completely blocked out all sound. "It's every man for himself, Dude! EVERYONE, THEY SHOULD BE COMING ANY MINUTE!! PUT ON THOSE EARMUFFS I GAVE YOU!!"
Dude looked around in confusion as everyone put on fuzzy earmuffs. "What's going on? What's the CPB?"
"SORRY?" St. No-No asked, putting a hand to her ear. "OH, YOU'RE PROBABLY WONDERING WHO THE CPB IS, RIGHT?"
Dude nodded.
"IT'S AN ACRONYM! IT STANDS FOR COUNTRY BAND PEOPLE! SEE, BEFORE WE HAD A TRUCE, I HIRED THEM TO COME HERE AND FOLLOW YOU AROUND ALL DAY. BEST START DIGGIN'!"
"You did WHAT?!" Dude asked in horror. She heard footsteps approaching her. She whipped around and saw a cowboy wearing a pink bandana and polka-dotted boots. He touched his hat and started riddling away on a banjo.
"YOUR PLOT FAILED, ST. NO-NO!!" Dude shouted after her. "I THINK BANJOS ARE COOL!!"
Then came the harmonica players.
"AHHH!! NOOOO!! HARMONICAS!! LEAVE ME ALONE, YOU BLOOD-THIRSTY WESTERN PEOPLE!!"
However, the CPB persisted in their playing and followed Dude down to her hole. They stayed there all day.
"Hey, free CPB concert!" said Mr. Sir, who had just gotten out of the water truck. "Where'd you guys come from?" But they were too busy serenading Dude to hear him. Mr. Sir took out a walkie talkie and said, "Lou? Come down here, quick! It's the CPB!! They're giving a free concert!!"
Approximately two seconds later, the Warden drove up in her shiny Cadillac. She opened her car door and proceeded to do-si-do with Mr. Sir. "I haven't had this much fun since we did square dancing in the 4th grade!"
"You TRAITOR!!" Dude shouted over the noise. "How can you possibly like Evanescence and COUNTRY music as the same time?! It's physically-- well, actually mentally--impossible! C'est impossibluh!"
Rather unfortunately for Dude, the CPB did not leave until dusk. Poor thing. I'm so evil, aren't I?
"YES, YOU ARE!!" Dude said loudly.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The next day, D-Tent approached Twitch, who had dug about two inches within two hours.
"You know, you're about the slowest digger I've EVER met," X-Ray said. "You're even slower than Caveman, and that has GOT to be a record. He could manage at least double what you've done in the time you've had."
"Great way to lower my self esteem," Twitch sniffed, who was controlling his twitching complex rather well.
"Awwww, that's just too bad, isn't it?" Zig Zag said, patting him on the head rather roughly. "And don't you even think about trying to pick a fight with me. You'd be dead quicker than you can say--"
"PUCCA!!" Eloisha supplied, jumping in the air.
"Uh, yeah, what she said," Zig Zag said slowly. "The point is, Twitch, nobody likes you. You annoy us beyond words. You disgust us, we despise you, your presence is even worse than Armpit's stench, and I really could go on."
"Ohhhhhhh, he dissed you, man!" Armpit laughed. He stopped abruptly. "Hey, that wasn't funny!"
"Why do you wanna hurt me like this?" Twitch said, sniffling.
"You baby," Eloisha muttered.
"B-but I like you, you're nice!" Twitch said.
Eloisha screamed and jumped into Starfish's arms. "STARFISH, HELP ME!!"
"There's only one thing to do," Starfish said, dropping Eloisha. "You'll have to be disposed of, Twitch. You had it coming. You are a ward of the state, correct? I heard the Warden say that."
"Y-yeah," Twitch stammered. "So?"
"So no one will care when you go," Zig Zag said, taking Twitch by the arm and dragging him towards the hole he'd dug yesterday.
"Go where?" Twitch, as he was thrown into the hole. "The bathroom?"
"No, you idiot," Ukulele Peanut said, wrinkling her nose. "That's just disturbing. I could've definitely gone the rest of my life without hearing that."
"But why don't you see the light, Eloisha?" Twitch pleaded, not noticing that the others were all beginning to dump dirt onto him. "Why must you join your fellows and do this terrible thing to me??"
"Because she likes someone else, you perv!" Zig Zag blurted. "Say good-bye, Twitch. Peace out."
And with that, Twitch had been buried into hole five feet deep and five feet in diameter. He was no more.
"Hu-shaaa!" Dude said, high-fiving Ukulele Peanut.
"Man, what an idiot," Peanut laughed. "I guess that means we'll have to keep waiting for someone cool to take Barf Bag's place. First we have Stanley, who had really dorky hair and a messed up attitude, and then we had Twitch, who annoyed everyone with his twitchy presence."
"I noticed that you didn't take place in the digging ceremony, Eloisha," Hammer said, waving a hand in front of her face. "You there?"
Eloisha sighed. "Another one of my fans gone." She walked away, back to the tent. Zero squinted his eyes and walked after her.
"Please tell me your sudden mood change has nothing to do with us burying Twitch alive," Zero said, tapping her elbow.
"Just go away," Eloisha said in a cold, soft way. She turned around and saw Dude doing stag leaps over holes, St. No-No and Ukulele Peanut doing the robot, Armpit doing an Irish jig, X-Ray staring at them all blankly, and Zig Zag and Hammer waltzing about. That was the final straw. "Leave me alone, Zero."
"What're you mad at me for?" Zero asked. Dude screamed in the backround as she stag-leapt right into Magnet's hole, but Eloisha and Zero didn't hear it. She remained silent. "Would at least tell me why you're mad at me?"
"I'm not mad at you," Eloisha sighed.
"Well then what's wrong?"
Eloisha laughed. "Like I'd tell you."
"I wish you would. Even if it's not me, you have talk about what's bothering you to SOMEone."
"HEY!" Starfish said, popping up out of no where and putting an arm around her best friend. "Eloisha has the right to say zero to you, Zero!"
"Hey, I GET it!!" Ukulele Peanut shouted from about a hundred and fifty yards away. "You said zero, and then Zero!! HA HAA!!"
"Quiet, Peanut!" X-Ray shushed her. "St. No-No, I think you'd better go check up on Squid. He's pretty bummed about not being able to join in on the disposing of Twitch The Annoying."
"Okay."
"Starfish, I was actually about to tell Zero my problem before you bounded up," Eloisha said.
"Are you saying I'm in the way?" Starfish sniffed.
"No, no, I only meant that--"
"FINE! JUST DUMP ME!! LEAVE ME IN THE GUTTER!! WE USED TO HAVE A PSYCHIC CONNECTION, ELOISHA!! AND YOU'VE SHATTERED IT COMPLETELY!! I'LL BE ALL RIGHT! DON'T FOLLOW ME!!"
Boo-hooing, Starfish ran off.
"Oh, great! Now another load on my mind!" Eloisha sobbed, squatting and wiping at her eyes. "I got a letter from home, Zero! And....and it's...." She sobbed loudly again, pulling a tissue out of her pocket.
"What happened?" Zero asked. "Did somebody die?" Well, he sure is straight forward, isn't he?
Suddenly, Eloisha stood straight and smiled brightly. "Like it? My parents wrote me and said that I get to have the lead in the play the school is producing in two years, when I'll be out of here. I was just practicing for the part because I really need to brush up my acting and I-- Zero?......Zero? Hmmm.....you appear to have fainted."
"AI YA, ELOISHA!!" Zero shouted, getting to his feet. "You scared that freakin' daylights outta me! I was so worried!"
"Awww, how sweet!" Eloisha said. "It's so nice to know someone cares!"
"Woah....did I just say that out loud?"
"Uh, no, I don't think so," Eloisha replied. "You said, 'AI YA, ELOISHA!! You scared the freakin' daylights outta me! I was so worried!!' ....nope, you never said the word 'that.'"
It took a moment for Zero to grasp what she said. He rolled his eyes. "Oi. Never mind."
Meanwhile, Squid was lying in his cot in pain, with St. No-No sitting in a rocking chair next to it. She was reading to him out of one of her favorite books.
"To be, or not...to be?" St. No-No said. "THAT....is the question to ask."
'Help me!' Squid said, shoving his face deeper into his pillow.
In the meantime....
"A weary, red, rickety train rounded the equally rickety ragged railroad," Dude said to X-Ray. "How many R's are in that?"
"Nine," answered X-Ray, grinning. "That's right, right?"
Dude stared at him. "Oh, never mind. You were supposed to say there were none. Zip. Zero."
"Someone call me?" Zero asked, sticking his head into view.
"No," Dude answered, shoving him away.
"But if I said there were no r's, I'd be lying," X-Ray said slowly. "And that just ain't right, girl."
"I asked you how many r's are in THAT," Dude said. "Like, the word. THAT. There are no r's in that word!"
"......OHHHHH!! I get it now!" X-Ray said proudly.
"Dude, you may want these," Magnet said, giving her a pair of earmuffs. "Go ahead, put them on."
"Why, are there some mandrakes nearby?" Dude asked, hesitating.
"No, the Warden and Mr. Sir paid the CPB to come back and play during dinner. I thought you might want some protection this time, so I got you Squid's earmuffs. I shouldn't have taken them, though. I'll bet he could've used them at this specific point in time." He snickered.
"Why?" X-Ray asked.
"St. No-No is reading him Shakespeare," Magnet answered. "Hee hee hee!!"
"Ho, ho, ho!" laughed X-Ray.
"And a couple of la-dee-dahs!" sang Hammer, Ukulele Peanut and Zig Zag, coming onto the scene. "That's how we laugh the day away in the merry old land of Oz! Aaa-ha ha ha!! ha ha ha!! Ha ha--"
"Okay, you can stop now," Dude said.
"Could you even dye my eyes to match my gown?" said Hammer.
"Uh-huh!" Zig Zag answered.
Slowly, Magnet and Dude put on their earmuffs and walked away. X-Ray stayed, tapping his foot to the jolly ole beat.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
a/n:
the wizard of oz!! YAY!! if u haven't seen that, u have had a deprived childhood.