A/N: I don't quite remember where I got the idea for this story.it just
came to me one day. I'm going to try to get this story done by the end of
this summer, but I'm not sure how long it will be, and thus I don't know
how long it will take. It could take months, years, even decades. Oh
well. Here begins Chapter Two
Chapter two: What is this thing?
The doctor traveled through the halls in confusion. All around him, crewmates were dancing terribly and singing off tune.
"How could this have happened?" he asked himself. "Is this some sort of virus? Bacteria? Insanity?"
He stepped into the turbo lift and went to deck eleven, the deck that contained the captain's quarters. He had to talk to her, get out any information that he could. Upon exiting the turbo lift, it was evident that even something as simple as walking to the captain's quarters would not be simple. The hall was packed with delusional crewmembers, and the first that he came upon was Tom Paris, otherwise known as Christina Aguilara. Paris walked over to the doctor and began rubbing his bald, shiny head.
"You are beautiful, no matter what they say!" he sang.
"Get away from me Mr. Paris!" the doctor shouted. "You're not yourself right now!"
He then began a new song: "Wanna get dirty?" he sang while thrusting obscenely.
"No, Mr. Paris!" the doctor yelled as he pulled out his faiser gun. "Back off! Don't make me use this!"
With the mention and appearance of an actual weapon, the hall became chaotic. All the divas were running every screaming "Where's my body guard?" and "I'm too rich and beautiful to die!" With the attention of the people diverted, the doctor carefully made his way through the hall. Finally he came to the captain's quarters. Then he remembered that he was a hologram and he could've easily walked through all the people in the hall instead of moving around them.
"Oh well," he said.
Once he entered the room, it was pretty obvious she also was vulnerable to the virus. She was sitting on a piano that had materialized out of thin air. As with all the rest of the crew, she was singing out of key.
"When you want it the most, there's no easy way out, when you're...umm...lalalalalalalalalalalalala, don't give up on your faith, love comes to those who believe and, and that's the way it is," sang Janeway.
"Why does everyone keep singing me love songs?"
"Why hello there," said Janeway. "Can I help you sir?"
"Yes! You must come with me right now!"
"Sir, I'm very flattered," she replied, "But I'm married. My husband is thirty-six years older than me, but I am sexually satisfied." She came closer to the doctor. "Meet me in the hall in five minutes," she whispered.
Five minutes later the captain appeared in the hallway.
"Where are we going?" she asked as the doctor dragged her through the crowded hallway.
"We're going to my room, I mean Sickbay."
Three hours later they were there. It would've been shorter, but they ran into some unexpected trouble with Bologna Torres, A.K.A. Mandy Moore, on deck nine. She and Janeway argued over whether Torres was a worse actor or singer. The situation wasn't resolved. It wasn't important.
Anyway, the doctor immediately began examining Celine Dion, I mean Captain Janeway. He gave her the whole shebang: blood work, DNA exams, heartbeat, breathing, a prostate exam (this had nothing to do with the disease.the doctor just has a weird fetish).
"I cant believe it!" he said. "All this and no answer! Physically, there's nothing wrong with you. Can you tell me anything you remember before being here?"
"Well," she began, "There was some cloud or something."
"The nebula!" he exclaimed. "The nebula must somehow be causing this weird behavior! Finally, an answer! But, how do I cure this "Diva Disease"?"
Chapter two: What is this thing?
The doctor traveled through the halls in confusion. All around him, crewmates were dancing terribly and singing off tune.
"How could this have happened?" he asked himself. "Is this some sort of virus? Bacteria? Insanity?"
He stepped into the turbo lift and went to deck eleven, the deck that contained the captain's quarters. He had to talk to her, get out any information that he could. Upon exiting the turbo lift, it was evident that even something as simple as walking to the captain's quarters would not be simple. The hall was packed with delusional crewmembers, and the first that he came upon was Tom Paris, otherwise known as Christina Aguilara. Paris walked over to the doctor and began rubbing his bald, shiny head.
"You are beautiful, no matter what they say!" he sang.
"Get away from me Mr. Paris!" the doctor shouted. "You're not yourself right now!"
He then began a new song: "Wanna get dirty?" he sang while thrusting obscenely.
"No, Mr. Paris!" the doctor yelled as he pulled out his faiser gun. "Back off! Don't make me use this!"
With the mention and appearance of an actual weapon, the hall became chaotic. All the divas were running every screaming "Where's my body guard?" and "I'm too rich and beautiful to die!" With the attention of the people diverted, the doctor carefully made his way through the hall. Finally he came to the captain's quarters. Then he remembered that he was a hologram and he could've easily walked through all the people in the hall instead of moving around them.
"Oh well," he said.
Once he entered the room, it was pretty obvious she also was vulnerable to the virus. She was sitting on a piano that had materialized out of thin air. As with all the rest of the crew, she was singing out of key.
"When you want it the most, there's no easy way out, when you're...umm...lalalalalalalalalalalalala, don't give up on your faith, love comes to those who believe and, and that's the way it is," sang Janeway.
"Why does everyone keep singing me love songs?"
"Why hello there," said Janeway. "Can I help you sir?"
"Yes! You must come with me right now!"
"Sir, I'm very flattered," she replied, "But I'm married. My husband is thirty-six years older than me, but I am sexually satisfied." She came closer to the doctor. "Meet me in the hall in five minutes," she whispered.
Five minutes later the captain appeared in the hallway.
"Where are we going?" she asked as the doctor dragged her through the crowded hallway.
"We're going to my room, I mean Sickbay."
Three hours later they were there. It would've been shorter, but they ran into some unexpected trouble with Bologna Torres, A.K.A. Mandy Moore, on deck nine. She and Janeway argued over whether Torres was a worse actor or singer. The situation wasn't resolved. It wasn't important.
Anyway, the doctor immediately began examining Celine Dion, I mean Captain Janeway. He gave her the whole shebang: blood work, DNA exams, heartbeat, breathing, a prostate exam (this had nothing to do with the disease.the doctor just has a weird fetish).
"I cant believe it!" he said. "All this and no answer! Physically, there's nothing wrong with you. Can you tell me anything you remember before being here?"
"Well," she began, "There was some cloud or something."
"The nebula!" he exclaimed. "The nebula must somehow be causing this weird behavior! Finally, an answer! But, how do I cure this "Diva Disease"?"