A/N: Woohoo! Two chapters in one day! I am good. Yeah, but don't be too
optimistic, because I still have at least one more chapter, maybe more.
And I may start writing a fake biography about someone I don't know(don't
ask.) yes, well..enjoy!!
Chapter Five: The Borg's Only Fear and the REAL Cure
The Doctor sat in the corner of Sickbay crying. It had been five hours now. And still, there he was, in the corner, crying like a four year who had just skinned his knee.
"My life is so hard.." he blubbered. "I wish I had never been born."
This was ironic because he was a hologram. He never had been born. It was just kind of like one day some guy got bored and *poof* there he was. Anyway, that's not really important. What is important is that his crying was interrupted by the violent shaking of the ship.
"Oh, what now?" he whined. "This is just great. Since there's no crew to take care of this, I guess it's my job. Computer, activate Emergency Command Hologram."
He stood there waiting for his shirt to change from blue (or is it teal? Or perhaps aqua? Oh well, no one cares) to red. Nothing happened. Then he remembered that his proposal for the ECH was never approved of.
"I knew they should have approved of it!" he shouted. "You will rue the day you never approved of the ECH program!"
Just then the ship shook violently again.
"I suppose I should go to the bridge and find out what's going on."
It took him two hours to get to the bridge. He kept running into creepy fake superstars. Sheryl Crow was on deck nine, deck twelve had Tina Turner, and on deck fourteen was Shakira. However, the doctor finally reached the bridge, where he stopped and shuddered for a good seven and a half minutes having been emotionally and psychologically disturbed. Then he came to his senses.
"Open a channel," he said. Then he realized there was no one there and he had to do it himself. "Hey, who's there?"
"Finally! It's about time!" came through the com system. "Umm, I mean, We are the Borg. Prepare to be assimilated. Resistance is Fut.."
The Borg message was cut short as all the doors opened and the bridge was bombarded by not-really-superstars.
"If you want the spotlight, you'll have to go through us!" said the captain(and if you remember, the captain thought she was Celine Dion).
"What the hell is this?" replied the Borg message. They were scanning the ship thoroughly and discovered that everything in the ship was extremely frightening. "We've decided you're not worthy of assimilation. You scare us."
And with that, the Borg tractor beam (which shall remain unmentioned) was released, and the Borg cube fled.
"At least there's something good about these weirdoes," said the Doctor.
He sat down in the captain's chair and appeared to be in deep thought for approximately twelve seconds (actually, he was thinking about seven naked. *author shudders*).
"I give up computer. How do I cure the disease?"
"Think Brainiac. What's causing the disease?"
"Teenage hormones. I mean the nebula." He replied.
"Right, so then how would you cure the disease?"
"Of course!" he shouted. "It was so obvious! I can't believe I didn't think of it before! Chinese Torture is the answer!"
"No, Dipshit," replied the computer. "You need to get out of the nebula."
"Ooooooh. Then get us out of here."
"No can do. You on your own, butt hole," replied the computer.
"Drat," said the doctor. "I wish I wouldn't have deleted my piloting chip in my program. Well, I guess I'll just read through the manual. Yikes!"
He had picked up the manual, and it was two thousand discs long.
"I'm never gonna get out of here!"
Can the doctor read through the manual? Will he ever get out of that nebula? Will the crew ever return to normal? Can I stop picking my nose and finish this story? Stay tuned and find out.
Chapter Five: The Borg's Only Fear and the REAL Cure
The Doctor sat in the corner of Sickbay crying. It had been five hours now. And still, there he was, in the corner, crying like a four year who had just skinned his knee.
"My life is so hard.." he blubbered. "I wish I had never been born."
This was ironic because he was a hologram. He never had been born. It was just kind of like one day some guy got bored and *poof* there he was. Anyway, that's not really important. What is important is that his crying was interrupted by the violent shaking of the ship.
"Oh, what now?" he whined. "This is just great. Since there's no crew to take care of this, I guess it's my job. Computer, activate Emergency Command Hologram."
He stood there waiting for his shirt to change from blue (or is it teal? Or perhaps aqua? Oh well, no one cares) to red. Nothing happened. Then he remembered that his proposal for the ECH was never approved of.
"I knew they should have approved of it!" he shouted. "You will rue the day you never approved of the ECH program!"
Just then the ship shook violently again.
"I suppose I should go to the bridge and find out what's going on."
It took him two hours to get to the bridge. He kept running into creepy fake superstars. Sheryl Crow was on deck nine, deck twelve had Tina Turner, and on deck fourteen was Shakira. However, the doctor finally reached the bridge, where he stopped and shuddered for a good seven and a half minutes having been emotionally and psychologically disturbed. Then he came to his senses.
"Open a channel," he said. Then he realized there was no one there and he had to do it himself. "Hey, who's there?"
"Finally! It's about time!" came through the com system. "Umm, I mean, We are the Borg. Prepare to be assimilated. Resistance is Fut.."
The Borg message was cut short as all the doors opened and the bridge was bombarded by not-really-superstars.
"If you want the spotlight, you'll have to go through us!" said the captain(and if you remember, the captain thought she was Celine Dion).
"What the hell is this?" replied the Borg message. They were scanning the ship thoroughly and discovered that everything in the ship was extremely frightening. "We've decided you're not worthy of assimilation. You scare us."
And with that, the Borg tractor beam (which shall remain unmentioned) was released, and the Borg cube fled.
"At least there's something good about these weirdoes," said the Doctor.
He sat down in the captain's chair and appeared to be in deep thought for approximately twelve seconds (actually, he was thinking about seven naked. *author shudders*).
"I give up computer. How do I cure the disease?"
"Think Brainiac. What's causing the disease?"
"Teenage hormones. I mean the nebula." He replied.
"Right, so then how would you cure the disease?"
"Of course!" he shouted. "It was so obvious! I can't believe I didn't think of it before! Chinese Torture is the answer!"
"No, Dipshit," replied the computer. "You need to get out of the nebula."
"Ooooooh. Then get us out of here."
"No can do. You on your own, butt hole," replied the computer.
"Drat," said the doctor. "I wish I wouldn't have deleted my piloting chip in my program. Well, I guess I'll just read through the manual. Yikes!"
He had picked up the manual, and it was two thousand discs long.
"I'm never gonna get out of here!"
Can the doctor read through the manual? Will he ever get out of that nebula? Will the crew ever return to normal? Can I stop picking my nose and finish this story? Stay tuned and find out.