A/N: Yes, it has been a while since I've written.but it's been worth the
wait, right? RIGHT? Well, nevermind. Anyway, if you've read my stories
and like them, try reading "Dorky and the Lizard of Fonz." It's not about
Star Trek, but it is funny. And sadly, no one's read it yet. Well, one of
my jobs just ended so I should have some more writing time. I'll try to
get moving on this, but I have less than two weeks until school starts and
about 300 pages of an AP US History book to read. I'm screwed. Anyway,
have fun and remember to R&R!!!
Chapter 6: Revelations
The doctor sat down in the captain's chair with the two thousand disc long manual. He slowly began reading them. He had gotten to disc forty-two before he realized that in order to read what's on a disc, you have to put it into a computer of some sort. So then he moved to the nearest counsel, inserted the disc, and began reading.
Two hours past and he was on disc six.
Four hours later he was on disc fourteen.
After another thirteen hours he was on disc forty-seven.
"God, this takes forever."
He kept on reading for another thirty-two hours. Suddenly, a tremor ran through the ship.
"Computer, what was that?" asked the doctor.
"Why the hell do you think that I'm supposed to know that? Do I look like a computer or something for crying out loud?"
"Umm, you are a computer," the doctor replied.
"Oh. Never mind then. Check the visual."
"On screen," the doctor said.
Then he remembered again that all the crew had gone insane and that he had to do it himself. And so he put it on screen and saw something strange: blackness. Then he realized he had his eyes closed. So he opened them and saw what was on screen: blackness.again. But this time it was the blackness of space, with a few occasional and distant stars.
"Oh my God." the doctor said, "I don't believe it. I finally realized who Chakotay thought he was..Mariah Carey! It was so obvious!"
"You're not very bright are you?" asked the computer.
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"The visual! Don't you know what this means?" the computer replied.
"Yes, of course. I was getting to that," said the doctor. "And now for my startling revelation: The evil clown god Binky does exist!"
"This guy is a friggin moron," said the computer. "It means that we're out of the nebula, numb nuts!"
"I knew that. And I would have told you if you had let me finish!"
Suddenly the visual clouded up again. A familiar purplish haze covered the entire screen.
"Aha!" cried the doctor. "Not so smart now, are you? I knew we weren't really out of the nebula, just going through some type of break in it."
"Oh brother."
And so the doctor continued reading. After another couple of days, he had finished the two thousand disc series entitled "Flying a Starship: You should know this by now!"
"Woohoo! I can finally begin!"
Thus he began to fly. He stepped up to the piloting station and hit warp nine.
"We'll be out of here in no time."
And in no time they were out of the nebula. Well, it actually wasn't no time; it was some time. Forty-nine hours and sixteen point minutes to be exact. Never mind that, though. I suppose it's not important. What is important is what happened next. The doctor excitedly ran out of the bridge. He was so pumped to see the busy crewmen actually acting like busy crewmen. But he was wrong..DEAD WRONG. No, I take that back. He was just wrong. For as he stepped out of the door that led to the bridge, he saw a frightening and familiar sight: Divas. Everywhere Divas!
"I've concocted formulas, I've learned to fly a starship, I've flown out of the nebula.what else can I possibly do to cure this insidious disease?"
Chapter 6: Revelations
The doctor sat down in the captain's chair with the two thousand disc long manual. He slowly began reading them. He had gotten to disc forty-two before he realized that in order to read what's on a disc, you have to put it into a computer of some sort. So then he moved to the nearest counsel, inserted the disc, and began reading.
Two hours past and he was on disc six.
Four hours later he was on disc fourteen.
After another thirteen hours he was on disc forty-seven.
"God, this takes forever."
He kept on reading for another thirty-two hours. Suddenly, a tremor ran through the ship.
"Computer, what was that?" asked the doctor.
"Why the hell do you think that I'm supposed to know that? Do I look like a computer or something for crying out loud?"
"Umm, you are a computer," the doctor replied.
"Oh. Never mind then. Check the visual."
"On screen," the doctor said.
Then he remembered again that all the crew had gone insane and that he had to do it himself. And so he put it on screen and saw something strange: blackness. Then he realized he had his eyes closed. So he opened them and saw what was on screen: blackness.again. But this time it was the blackness of space, with a few occasional and distant stars.
"Oh my God." the doctor said, "I don't believe it. I finally realized who Chakotay thought he was..Mariah Carey! It was so obvious!"
"You're not very bright are you?" asked the computer.
"Huh? What are you talking about?"
"The visual! Don't you know what this means?" the computer replied.
"Yes, of course. I was getting to that," said the doctor. "And now for my startling revelation: The evil clown god Binky does exist!"
"This guy is a friggin moron," said the computer. "It means that we're out of the nebula, numb nuts!"
"I knew that. And I would have told you if you had let me finish!"
Suddenly the visual clouded up again. A familiar purplish haze covered the entire screen.
"Aha!" cried the doctor. "Not so smart now, are you? I knew we weren't really out of the nebula, just going through some type of break in it."
"Oh brother."
And so the doctor continued reading. After another couple of days, he had finished the two thousand disc series entitled "Flying a Starship: You should know this by now!"
"Woohoo! I can finally begin!"
Thus he began to fly. He stepped up to the piloting station and hit warp nine.
"We'll be out of here in no time."
And in no time they were out of the nebula. Well, it actually wasn't no time; it was some time. Forty-nine hours and sixteen point minutes to be exact. Never mind that, though. I suppose it's not important. What is important is what happened next. The doctor excitedly ran out of the bridge. He was so pumped to see the busy crewmen actually acting like busy crewmen. But he was wrong..DEAD WRONG. No, I take that back. He was just wrong. For as he stepped out of the door that led to the bridge, he saw a frightening and familiar sight: Divas. Everywhere Divas!
"I've concocted formulas, I've learned to fly a starship, I've flown out of the nebula.what else can I possibly do to cure this insidious disease?"