Disclaimer of Pretentious Joy:
"We know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is no other God but one. For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as there are many gods and many lords), yet for us there is one God,
the Father, of whom are all things, and we for Him; and one Lord Jesus
Christ, through whom are all things, and through whom we live." - 1
Corinthians 8:4-6
Everything written here is mine. MINE MINE MINE! Except for the things that
aren't. ===============================================================
WHAT THE DILLIAD?
An Epic Poem
By the Illiterate Poet Cranas
Translated by Ziltron Djindjic
Published by Fumeiryo Kekka Productions
Book Two
Fierce bronze met with
Fierce plastic on the plains of Dul
Blood shed fiercely
Cruel death has its sway
Eminem wins an Academy Award
The gods have forsaken us
Terawiz, son of Oz, brought his gleaming bronze sword down on
the shield of King Ramavis, scoring a hit on the center. However, it
only pierced the first layer of gold, the second of tin, and the third
of argyle. Ramavis, wise Ramavis! Your foresight now served you well,
for the fourth layer of fruitcake now saved you from doom!
Now it was Ramavis's turn to strike. His sword struck the side
of the son of Oz's helmet, but its fierce plastic edge was turned back
by his bronze. The Disnipian warriors fell back to reassess the
situation.
"Foolish Terawiz!" cried Ramavis, "Your bronze sword has met its
match at my fruitcake! Surely this day you shall fall into the
clutches of Black Death!"
"Ramavis, be you blind? For surely only a blind man could fail
to see that your blade of plastic will never injure me! This hour you
will look into the eyes of aquamarine death!" cried observant Terawiz.
The ever-vigilant Ramavis considered this. Then he yelled "YOUR
MOM!" and charged at Redoubtable Terawiz with his shining plastic
blade. Terawiz stood there and impassively withstood the blows that
fell upon his head, shoulders, knees, and toes; knees and toes. Then
Invincible Ramavis punched him in the stomach.
Terawiz fell to the ground, clutching his spleen and screaming
like a yak in distress. Ramavis stood over him; about to strike the
finishing blow, when suddenly, all-annoying Carrottopious appeared in
the form of the Backstreet Boys. Seeing this even greater foe, Ramavis
forgot about Terawiz and charged Carrottopious, unaware he was about
to fight a god (albeit an annoying one).
Terawiz lay on the ground clutching his stomach, when Lord Bey
appeared by his side.
"Royal-blooded Terawish! Do not quit the glorioush (if sticky)
field of battl'! Wal'er, King of the godsh, hash delivered Ramavish
into your handsh!" the noble-blooded Lord of the Drink said.
"Gurgle!" said Terawiz the Redoubtable. Lord Bey kicked him and
then wandered off singing an Irish pub medley.
Meanwhile, Ramavis was chasing Carrottopious (Remember? There
will be a quiz later), who had taken the form of the Backstreet Boys.
Long did he vainly chase the god of annoyances, far across the verdant
plain. While he chased Carrottopious, he killed some minor characters:
tell me Avril, who was the first to fall? The first to fall was Dyer,
son of Walter and a random shepherdess. Ramavis ran him through,
slightly above the right nipple, with his mighty spear. Cornflower
blue night descended on his eyes. Next King Ramavis gave Bagrious (son
of Walter and a random shepherdess) a nasty bone bruise on the left
shin with a mighty kick. Bagrious clutched his shin and hopped up and
down, screaming obscenities.
"****! ****** ******! Why the ******* **** did you do that, you
stupid ****!" he cried, but Asteris spared us the gory details.
Bagrious then died of completely unrelated natural causes. His
soul left his body with a yodel and descended to Death's Subway.
Still, Ramavis' fury was unabated. He struck down Scott Stapp (one of
the few sons of two completely normal people on the battlefield) with
his blade of shining plastic. Scott descended into his own prison.
Next he shot Senatorian (son of a nymph and a satyr, but he's okay
with that now) in the back with Glockious, 9mm of the gods (a gift
from Metro).
Carrottopious saw the great slaughter that Ramavis was wreaking
on the forces of Dul, so he now dropped his disguise.
"RAMAVIS, YOU SILLY GOOSE! SURELY YOU HAVE NOT DIALED DOWN THE
CENTER OF THE BATTLE, FOR I HAVE DECIEVED YOU! I AM NOT THE BACKSTREET
BOYS, BUT MIGHTY CARROTTOPIOUS.OUCH." for Ramavis had dealt mighty
justice with Glockious. As Carrottopious gathered his internal organs,
Ramavis turned his attention once more to Terawiz.
End Chapter Two.
--------------------------
SOMETHING ODD:
Has anyone else noticed that almost every single fanfic based on Homer started out as an English project? I guess that proves what high school students have been contending for years: that almost nobody would read Homer if they are not being held at gunpoint. Personally, I read the Iliad for the same reason I watched Little Bow Wow's acting debut "Like Mike": masochism. Sheer masochism. Well, that, and I also feared that I was somehow "missing out" on the great stories that made Western civilization what it is today. After reading the Iliad and the Odyssey, I must say that I truly enjoyed the words of a bunch of dead Greek guys. More than I enjoyed "Like Mike", at any rate.
INTERESTING NOTE ON THE LORE OF THE DILLIAD: When I began writing the Dilliad, I though "Iliad" was spelled "Illiad". Which shows how much I'm respecting the source text. The entire story is already written. I'm just working on the end notes and re-editing. I got an "A" on the English project.
Well, that does it for Chapter Two. It's a lot shorter than Chapter One. Yup. Yup. Uh-huh. Sure is.
*Cough*
I now have a website: www.ziltron.virtue.nu/main.html. It's not much, but it's mine. Thanks go to my parents for not feeding me to wolves at a young age. Thanks also to Cross Lanes Christian School, for being crazy Baptist. If it wasn't for you guys, I might never have known why I was a Presbyterian. Now I'm graduating. I will truly miss arguing over whether or not a style of music could be evil.
POST TENEBRAS LUX
"We know that an idol is nothing in the world, and that there is no other God but one. For even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as there are many gods and many lords), yet for us there is one God,
the Father, of whom are all things, and we for Him; and one Lord Jesus
Christ, through whom are all things, and through whom we live." - 1
Corinthians 8:4-6
Everything written here is mine. MINE MINE MINE! Except for the things that
aren't. ===============================================================
WHAT THE DILLIAD?
An Epic Poem
By the Illiterate Poet Cranas
Translated by Ziltron Djindjic
Published by Fumeiryo Kekka Productions
Book Two
Fierce bronze met with
Fierce plastic on the plains of Dul
Blood shed fiercely
Cruel death has its sway
Eminem wins an Academy Award
The gods have forsaken us
Terawiz, son of Oz, brought his gleaming bronze sword down on
the shield of King Ramavis, scoring a hit on the center. However, it
only pierced the first layer of gold, the second of tin, and the third
of argyle. Ramavis, wise Ramavis! Your foresight now served you well,
for the fourth layer of fruitcake now saved you from doom!
Now it was Ramavis's turn to strike. His sword struck the side
of the son of Oz's helmet, but its fierce plastic edge was turned back
by his bronze. The Disnipian warriors fell back to reassess the
situation.
"Foolish Terawiz!" cried Ramavis, "Your bronze sword has met its
match at my fruitcake! Surely this day you shall fall into the
clutches of Black Death!"
"Ramavis, be you blind? For surely only a blind man could fail
to see that your blade of plastic will never injure me! This hour you
will look into the eyes of aquamarine death!" cried observant Terawiz.
The ever-vigilant Ramavis considered this. Then he yelled "YOUR
MOM!" and charged at Redoubtable Terawiz with his shining plastic
blade. Terawiz stood there and impassively withstood the blows that
fell upon his head, shoulders, knees, and toes; knees and toes. Then
Invincible Ramavis punched him in the stomach.
Terawiz fell to the ground, clutching his spleen and screaming
like a yak in distress. Ramavis stood over him; about to strike the
finishing blow, when suddenly, all-annoying Carrottopious appeared in
the form of the Backstreet Boys. Seeing this even greater foe, Ramavis
forgot about Terawiz and charged Carrottopious, unaware he was about
to fight a god (albeit an annoying one).
Terawiz lay on the ground clutching his stomach, when Lord Bey
appeared by his side.
"Royal-blooded Terawish! Do not quit the glorioush (if sticky)
field of battl'! Wal'er, King of the godsh, hash delivered Ramavish
into your handsh!" the noble-blooded Lord of the Drink said.
"Gurgle!" said Terawiz the Redoubtable. Lord Bey kicked him and
then wandered off singing an Irish pub medley.
Meanwhile, Ramavis was chasing Carrottopious (Remember? There
will be a quiz later), who had taken the form of the Backstreet Boys.
Long did he vainly chase the god of annoyances, far across the verdant
plain. While he chased Carrottopious, he killed some minor characters:
tell me Avril, who was the first to fall? The first to fall was Dyer,
son of Walter and a random shepherdess. Ramavis ran him through,
slightly above the right nipple, with his mighty spear. Cornflower
blue night descended on his eyes. Next King Ramavis gave Bagrious (son
of Walter and a random shepherdess) a nasty bone bruise on the left
shin with a mighty kick. Bagrious clutched his shin and hopped up and
down, screaming obscenities.
"****! ****** ******! Why the ******* **** did you do that, you
stupid ****!" he cried, but Asteris spared us the gory details.
Bagrious then died of completely unrelated natural causes. His
soul left his body with a yodel and descended to Death's Subway.
Still, Ramavis' fury was unabated. He struck down Scott Stapp (one of
the few sons of two completely normal people on the battlefield) with
his blade of shining plastic. Scott descended into his own prison.
Next he shot Senatorian (son of a nymph and a satyr, but he's okay
with that now) in the back with Glockious, 9mm of the gods (a gift
from Metro).
Carrottopious saw the great slaughter that Ramavis was wreaking
on the forces of Dul, so he now dropped his disguise.
"RAMAVIS, YOU SILLY GOOSE! SURELY YOU HAVE NOT DIALED DOWN THE
CENTER OF THE BATTLE, FOR I HAVE DECIEVED YOU! I AM NOT THE BACKSTREET
BOYS, BUT MIGHTY CARROTTOPIOUS.OUCH." for Ramavis had dealt mighty
justice with Glockious. As Carrottopious gathered his internal organs,
Ramavis turned his attention once more to Terawiz.
End Chapter Two.
--------------------------
SOMETHING ODD:
Has anyone else noticed that almost every single fanfic based on Homer started out as an English project? I guess that proves what high school students have been contending for years: that almost nobody would read Homer if they are not being held at gunpoint. Personally, I read the Iliad for the same reason I watched Little Bow Wow's acting debut "Like Mike": masochism. Sheer masochism. Well, that, and I also feared that I was somehow "missing out" on the great stories that made Western civilization what it is today. After reading the Iliad and the Odyssey, I must say that I truly enjoyed the words of a bunch of dead Greek guys. More than I enjoyed "Like Mike", at any rate.
INTERESTING NOTE ON THE LORE OF THE DILLIAD: When I began writing the Dilliad, I though "Iliad" was spelled "Illiad". Which shows how much I'm respecting the source text. The entire story is already written. I'm just working on the end notes and re-editing. I got an "A" on the English project.
Well, that does it for Chapter Two. It's a lot shorter than Chapter One. Yup. Yup. Uh-huh. Sure is.
*Cough*
I now have a website: www.ziltron.virtue.nu/main.html. It's not much, but it's mine. Thanks go to my parents for not feeding me to wolves at a young age. Thanks also to Cross Lanes Christian School, for being crazy Baptist. If it wasn't for you guys, I might never have known why I was a Presbyterian. Now I'm graduating. I will truly miss arguing over whether or not a style of music could be evil.
POST TENEBRAS LUX