Disclaimer of Pretentious Joy: "We know that an idol is nothing in the
world, and that there is no other God but one. For even if there are so-
called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as there are many gods and many
lords), yet for us there is one God, the Father, of whom are all things,
and we for Him; and one Lord Jesus Christ, through whom are all things, and
through whom we live." - 1 Corinthians 8:4-6
WHAT THE DILLIAD?
An Epic Poem
By the Illiterate Poet Cranas
Translated by Ziltron Djindjic
Published by Fumeiryo Kekka Productions
Book Five
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I want a, I want a, I want a, I want a
I really, really want a zig-a-zig-ah
The Clanians pillaged. The Clanians burned. "Very good, men," said Ramavis, "you finally remembered to pillage before you burned. Nobody wants a repeat of what happened last year."
The happy gods of Disneyland looked down at the desolation wrought on the earth. Lord Bey would have been yelling his head off over losing the battle promised to him by Walter, but he had already lost his head to a bad bottle of Tequila.
"But Father," said Ni, "What *ACHOO!* was the point *WACHOO!* of that whole battle?"
"Yeah," said Metro, "What the **** are you thinkin', going back on your word like 'dat? What kind of a deity are you, punk? Word."
Walter stood to address them with words of compassion and wisdom.
"POOPYPOOPYPOOPYPOOPY POOP!!" cried Carrottopious.
Walter looked at the other gods. He looked at Carrpttopious. He said "If I throw him into Tartarus, can we forget that this whole sorry incident ever took place?"
And there was much rejoicing in Disneyland.
End Book Five.
--------------------------
WHERE ARE THEY NOW:
Walter (Big Papa of the gods): Walter has wisely decided to hold onto his job as King of the gods, but he has a side-project going with some other major dieties. "It's very experimental stuff," he told us in an exclusive interview, "We're making a universe entirely devoid of rubber. Imagine it! No rubber!"
Lord Bey (Sober god of Intoxication): Lord Bey's current position is listed as "hunched up in the corner with a bottle of rum and a Chinese hooker."
Metro (Ruler of the underworld and god of real true playas): Metro's new rap album will be hitting stores within a month. A follow-up to such hit albums as Hey, I'm the god of Death and The Death's Subway LP, it will include the hit single Dizzle Bizzle, My Nizzle.
Asteris (Silent god of asterisks and other forms of censorship): ** elusive ****, Asteris *** *** available ***for comment. **** all over ****, ***** * *** *** ham sandwich.
All the humans have died and gone to the underworld. That's the problem with Greek mythology, everyone just dies and goes to hell. What's with that?
I really hate the text formatting options on fanfiction.net because I'm too lazy to figure it out on my own. Come to www.ziltron.virtue.nu to see the story in its properly formatted glory.
POST TENEBRAS LUX
WHAT THE DILLIAD?
An Epic Poem
By the Illiterate Poet Cranas
Translated by Ziltron Djindjic
Published by Fumeiryo Kekka Productions
Book Five
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I want a, I want a, I want a, I want a
I really, really want a zig-a-zig-ah
The Clanians pillaged. The Clanians burned. "Very good, men," said Ramavis, "you finally remembered to pillage before you burned. Nobody wants a repeat of what happened last year."
The happy gods of Disneyland looked down at the desolation wrought on the earth. Lord Bey would have been yelling his head off over losing the battle promised to him by Walter, but he had already lost his head to a bad bottle of Tequila.
"But Father," said Ni, "What *ACHOO!* was the point *WACHOO!* of that whole battle?"
"Yeah," said Metro, "What the **** are you thinkin', going back on your word like 'dat? What kind of a deity are you, punk? Word."
Walter stood to address them with words of compassion and wisdom.
"POOPYPOOPYPOOPYPOOPY POOP!!" cried Carrottopious.
Walter looked at the other gods. He looked at Carrpttopious. He said "If I throw him into Tartarus, can we forget that this whole sorry incident ever took place?"
And there was much rejoicing in Disneyland.
End Book Five.
--------------------------
WHERE ARE THEY NOW:
Walter (Big Papa of the gods): Walter has wisely decided to hold onto his job as King of the gods, but he has a side-project going with some other major dieties. "It's very experimental stuff," he told us in an exclusive interview, "We're making a universe entirely devoid of rubber. Imagine it! No rubber!"
Lord Bey (Sober god of Intoxication): Lord Bey's current position is listed as "hunched up in the corner with a bottle of rum and a Chinese hooker."
Metro (Ruler of the underworld and god of real true playas): Metro's new rap album will be hitting stores within a month. A follow-up to such hit albums as Hey, I'm the god of Death and The Death's Subway LP, it will include the hit single Dizzle Bizzle, My Nizzle.
Asteris (Silent god of asterisks and other forms of censorship): ** elusive ****, Asteris *** *** available ***for comment. **** all over ****, ***** * *** *** ham sandwich.
All the humans have died and gone to the underworld. That's the problem with Greek mythology, everyone just dies and goes to hell. What's with that?
I really hate the text formatting options on fanfiction.net because I'm too lazy to figure it out on my own. Come to www.ziltron.virtue.nu to see the story in its properly formatted glory.
POST TENEBRAS LUX