WELLS: Okay, for tonight, I resolve not to be so aggressive.
AREY: Good luck.
(WELLS glares his patented death-glare at AREY)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
((GETTING THE BANNER: TAKE ONE))
[ The camera fades in to a dead, barren, gray city ruin. It pans over to a clock tower, which looks as if it could fall any second. ]
(JAK grabs the flag off of the top of Dead Town's clock tower, when the ground starts shaking and the tower starts to collapse. The two friends fall)
DAXTER: WHHHAAAAAAA!!!
(JAK lands on a fabric shelter and bounces off)
AREY: Wow, it looks like things will actually go right for once.
(DAXTER lands on the same sheet and falls through)
DAXTER: AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!--UGH!
WELLS: CUT!!
((GETTING THE BANNER: TAKE TWO))
(JAK grabs the flag off of Dead Town's clock tower...blah blah blah)
DAXTER: WHHHAAAAAAA!!!
(JAK lands on a fabric shelter and bounces off. DAXTER does the same)
DAXTER: WHHOOAAAA!!
(JAK flies through the air, and then SMACKS into a house)
JAK: UNNNNNNNNNGH!!!
AREY: Ouch, that's gotta hurt.
(WELLS backhands AREY)
WELLS: CUT. God, you guys are so stupid!
DAXTER: *Mumbles: I wouldn't be talking.*
WELLS: What did you say?!
DAXTER: I said uh...er... Gotta split!
(DAXTER runs away)
((GETTING THE BANNER: TAKE TWENTY))
[ The camera gets a behind-the-scenes look at JAK and DAXTER, all in body casts and crutches. ]
KEIRA: There. It might take a couple of weeks to heal, but you'll be okay.
(KEIRA pats DAXTER'S leg)
DAXTER: YEEEEEOWCH!!
KEIRA: ...
WELLS: JAK! DAXTER! Up on stage now! We need to film the part with the rope!
(JAK looks up at WELLS from lying down on a stretcher, immobile from the casts)
JAK: Mmmmph! Mmm ermmm mmph!
WELLS: You say you can't do anything? Well, isn't that sad...
DAXTER: I know, ain't it?
WELLS: Get the HELL on stage, NOW!
(Five minutes later, we see some Krimzon Gaurds helping JAK and DAXTER stand up on the set)
JAK: Mph! Mmmph!
KRIMZON GUARD #1: You're welcome!
(He walks away)
WELLS: Okay everyone, quiet on the set!
AREY: How are you going to make it look like they are in their regular clothes?
WELLS: Computer animation. NOW ACTION!
(AREY snaps the taped-up director's snappy thing)
(JAK tries to grab the banner, but since his hands are wrapped up in casting, he just sits there)
WELLS: Um, PRAXIS...
(PRAXIS walks up on stage, smiles at JAK, grabbing the banner. He then drives it through JAK'S wrappings and castings, and maybe even his hand. He then walks away)
JAK: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPHH!!!!!!!!!
WELLS: Language, JAK.
(The clock tower starts to collapse)
AREY: Quick! Jump to the fabric thingy!
(DAXTER makes a leap for it, but since JAK can't move, he just stands there)
WELLS: Jump, you--
(The STAGE CREW DUDE bleeps everything out. JAK ends up being crushed by some Styrofoam boulders)
WELLS: JAK! YOU--
(The STAGE CREW DUDE bleeps out more language)
WELLS: --ING--
= Bleep =
WELLS: --EXCUSE FOR A GOD--
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
WELLS: --I HOPE YOU DIE AND BURN IN--
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
WELLS: --YOU MOTHER--
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
WELLS: --AND YOU TOO, YOU PIECE OF--
= Bleep =
WELLS: --ING--
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
WELLS: --OTSEL! AND STOP BLEEPING EVERY WORD I--
= Bleep =
(WELLS backhands the STAGE CREW DUDE)
AREY: I'm getting outta here!
((GETTING THE BANNER: TAKE THIRTY-THREE))
AREY: Let's just go to the rope scene. That seems pretty safe, aye?
DAXTER: Yeah... And it's not like I can get hurt any more than I already am.
(DAXTER throws down his crutches and gets on the set...without JAK)
AREY: Aaaaaaaaand, action!
(DAXTER jumps off the building)
DAXTER: WHHHAAAAAA!!!
(He rebounds off a fabric shelter)
AREY (Offstage): Hmmm...
DAXTER: WHHOOOOAA!! Aw, man! I hate this part...
(DAXTER is flying in the air, when he lands on a rope, crotch-first)
DAXTER: UNNNGH!!
(He falls off, and then lands a couple seconds later on his stomach, where JAK is supposed to be. TORN walks up and looks where JAK is supposed to be)
TORN: Uh...yeah, I guess you guys are in.
DAXTER: Wahoo! This is over! Hey, AREY, did you get that on tape?
AREY: *Mumbling to himself: There seems to be a slight problem...* Uh, DAXTER, can you do the rope scene again? The camera wasn't working!
DAXTER: Aaah! I'm gonna WRING your NECK!
TORN: Let's just go the next scene...or something.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
((THE NEXT MISSION: TAKE ONE))
[ The scene is the Underground, the anti-Praxis organization thing which TORN is in charge of. We see JAK and DAXTER walking back in from Dead Town. ]
DAXTER: Whew! Being a big hero sure makes ya thirsty!
(DAXTER walks over to a gear behind TORN and turns it, putting his mouth up to the nozzle)
DAXTER: Wait! Do I have to do this?
WELLS (Offstage): Just drink the stupid "water"!
(DAXTER ends up drinking some mud and spitting it back out)
TORN: The Baron turned off all the water to the slums. He's willing to sacrifice innocent lives--
DAXTER: AAAARGH! Why didn't you tell me BEFORE, you LONG-EARED, RING- TAILED...DOOFUS!!! Now I have a mouth full of mud, JUST because you never say ANYTHING! I'm gonna KILL the WRITERS.
(TORN is taken aback)
WELLS: CUT!!
((THE NEXT MISSION: TAKE TWO))
TORN: ...The Baron turned off all the water to the slums. He's willing to sacrifice innocent lives to destroy the Underground. I shouldn't be surprised. I've seen his evil before while serving in the Krimzon Guard. That's why I quit.
JAK: You were a Krimzon Guard? Oh, that explains your...charming sense of humor.
TORN: My friend in the Guard tells me the valve to turn the water back on is located outside the city...at the Pumping Station.
(JAK thinks of PRAXIS)
JAK: Ew.
(TORN looks at JAK)
JAK: ...Um, er... Outside the city? What about the security walls?
DAXTER: What about the METAL HEADS? It ain't know pettin' zoo out there... Peeps be gettin' deep-sixed!
TORN: Find the large drain pipe in the North Wall. It'll take you outside the city to the Pumping Station.
JAK: Ew...
(TORN grabs his scimitar and puts it JAK's throat)
TORN: Will you CUT that OUT!?
DAXTER: ...
TORN: Now, get to the main valve and turn it on. If you survive, the slums will be indebted to you. If not, maybe we'll have a touching moment of silence in your honor.
DAXTER: I'd like to give him a 'touching moment'.
JAK: That's it, I'm getting away from y'all RIGHT NOW.
(JAK walks away towards his trailer)
WELLS: JAK! Come back right now you... Aw, cut!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Here you go! Sorry if it's not as funny as chapter UNO. And sorry it took me like, a week to continue. I couldn't think of anything. I'll continue soon again. *Yawns because she is so tired* Thanks for the reviews! :D
AREY: Good luck.
(WELLS glares his patented death-glare at AREY)
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
((GETTING THE BANNER: TAKE ONE))
[ The camera fades in to a dead, barren, gray city ruin. It pans over to a clock tower, which looks as if it could fall any second. ]
(JAK grabs the flag off of the top of Dead Town's clock tower, when the ground starts shaking and the tower starts to collapse. The two friends fall)
DAXTER: WHHHAAAAAAA!!!
(JAK lands on a fabric shelter and bounces off)
AREY: Wow, it looks like things will actually go right for once.
(DAXTER lands on the same sheet and falls through)
DAXTER: AAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!--UGH!
WELLS: CUT!!
((GETTING THE BANNER: TAKE TWO))
(JAK grabs the flag off of Dead Town's clock tower...blah blah blah)
DAXTER: WHHHAAAAAAA!!!
(JAK lands on a fabric shelter and bounces off. DAXTER does the same)
DAXTER: WHHOOAAAA!!
(JAK flies through the air, and then SMACKS into a house)
JAK: UNNNNNNNNNGH!!!
AREY: Ouch, that's gotta hurt.
(WELLS backhands AREY)
WELLS: CUT. God, you guys are so stupid!
DAXTER: *Mumbles: I wouldn't be talking.*
WELLS: What did you say?!
DAXTER: I said uh...er... Gotta split!
(DAXTER runs away)
((GETTING THE BANNER: TAKE TWENTY))
[ The camera gets a behind-the-scenes look at JAK and DAXTER, all in body casts and crutches. ]
KEIRA: There. It might take a couple of weeks to heal, but you'll be okay.
(KEIRA pats DAXTER'S leg)
DAXTER: YEEEEEOWCH!!
KEIRA: ...
WELLS: JAK! DAXTER! Up on stage now! We need to film the part with the rope!
(JAK looks up at WELLS from lying down on a stretcher, immobile from the casts)
JAK: Mmmmph! Mmm ermmm mmph!
WELLS: You say you can't do anything? Well, isn't that sad...
DAXTER: I know, ain't it?
WELLS: Get the HELL on stage, NOW!
(Five minutes later, we see some Krimzon Gaurds helping JAK and DAXTER stand up on the set)
JAK: Mph! Mmmph!
KRIMZON GUARD #1: You're welcome!
(He walks away)
WELLS: Okay everyone, quiet on the set!
AREY: How are you going to make it look like they are in their regular clothes?
WELLS: Computer animation. NOW ACTION!
(AREY snaps the taped-up director's snappy thing)
(JAK tries to grab the banner, but since his hands are wrapped up in casting, he just sits there)
WELLS: Um, PRAXIS...
(PRAXIS walks up on stage, smiles at JAK, grabbing the banner. He then drives it through JAK'S wrappings and castings, and maybe even his hand. He then walks away)
JAK: MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPHH!!!!!!!!!
WELLS: Language, JAK.
(The clock tower starts to collapse)
AREY: Quick! Jump to the fabric thingy!
(DAXTER makes a leap for it, but since JAK can't move, he just stands there)
WELLS: Jump, you--
(The STAGE CREW DUDE bleeps everything out. JAK ends up being crushed by some Styrofoam boulders)
WELLS: JAK! YOU--
(The STAGE CREW DUDE bleeps out more language)
WELLS: --ING--
= Bleep =
WELLS: --EXCUSE FOR A GOD--
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
WELLS: --I HOPE YOU DIE AND BURN IN--
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
WELLS: --YOU MOTHER--
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
WELLS: --AND YOU TOO, YOU PIECE OF--
= Bleep =
WELLS: --ING--
= Bleep =
= Bleep =
WELLS: --OTSEL! AND STOP BLEEPING EVERY WORD I--
= Bleep =
(WELLS backhands the STAGE CREW DUDE)
AREY: I'm getting outta here!
((GETTING THE BANNER: TAKE THIRTY-THREE))
AREY: Let's just go to the rope scene. That seems pretty safe, aye?
DAXTER: Yeah... And it's not like I can get hurt any more than I already am.
(DAXTER throws down his crutches and gets on the set...without JAK)
AREY: Aaaaaaaaand, action!
(DAXTER jumps off the building)
DAXTER: WHHHAAAAAA!!!
(He rebounds off a fabric shelter)
AREY (Offstage): Hmmm...
DAXTER: WHHOOOOAA!! Aw, man! I hate this part...
(DAXTER is flying in the air, when he lands on a rope, crotch-first)
DAXTER: UNNNGH!!
(He falls off, and then lands a couple seconds later on his stomach, where JAK is supposed to be. TORN walks up and looks where JAK is supposed to be)
TORN: Uh...yeah, I guess you guys are in.
DAXTER: Wahoo! This is over! Hey, AREY, did you get that on tape?
AREY: *Mumbling to himself: There seems to be a slight problem...* Uh, DAXTER, can you do the rope scene again? The camera wasn't working!
DAXTER: Aaah! I'm gonna WRING your NECK!
TORN: Let's just go the next scene...or something.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
((THE NEXT MISSION: TAKE ONE))
[ The scene is the Underground, the anti-Praxis organization thing which TORN is in charge of. We see JAK and DAXTER walking back in from Dead Town. ]
DAXTER: Whew! Being a big hero sure makes ya thirsty!
(DAXTER walks over to a gear behind TORN and turns it, putting his mouth up to the nozzle)
DAXTER: Wait! Do I have to do this?
WELLS (Offstage): Just drink the stupid "water"!
(DAXTER ends up drinking some mud and spitting it back out)
TORN: The Baron turned off all the water to the slums. He's willing to sacrifice innocent lives--
DAXTER: AAAARGH! Why didn't you tell me BEFORE, you LONG-EARED, RING- TAILED...DOOFUS!!! Now I have a mouth full of mud, JUST because you never say ANYTHING! I'm gonna KILL the WRITERS.
(TORN is taken aback)
WELLS: CUT!!
((THE NEXT MISSION: TAKE TWO))
TORN: ...The Baron turned off all the water to the slums. He's willing to sacrifice innocent lives to destroy the Underground. I shouldn't be surprised. I've seen his evil before while serving in the Krimzon Guard. That's why I quit.
JAK: You were a Krimzon Guard? Oh, that explains your...charming sense of humor.
TORN: My friend in the Guard tells me the valve to turn the water back on is located outside the city...at the Pumping Station.
(JAK thinks of PRAXIS)
JAK: Ew.
(TORN looks at JAK)
JAK: ...Um, er... Outside the city? What about the security walls?
DAXTER: What about the METAL HEADS? It ain't know pettin' zoo out there... Peeps be gettin' deep-sixed!
TORN: Find the large drain pipe in the North Wall. It'll take you outside the city to the Pumping Station.
JAK: Ew...
(TORN grabs his scimitar and puts it JAK's throat)
TORN: Will you CUT that OUT!?
DAXTER: ...
TORN: Now, get to the main valve and turn it on. If you survive, the slums will be indebted to you. If not, maybe we'll have a touching moment of silence in your honor.
DAXTER: I'd like to give him a 'touching moment'.
JAK: That's it, I'm getting away from y'all RIGHT NOW.
(JAK walks away towards his trailer)
WELLS: JAK! Come back right now you... Aw, cut!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Here you go! Sorry if it's not as funny as chapter UNO. And sorry it took me like, a week to continue. I couldn't think of anything. I'll continue soon again. *Yawns because she is so tired* Thanks for the reviews! :D