Love Saga

(For lack of a better title!!!)

A Love Hina-Excel Saga crossover

Hallo!!! How's everyone doin? I'm fine, and I'm bringing you what's probably the stupidest crossover you'll ever read (and by stupid, I mean funny-stupid). So, prepare your straight jacket and get ready for some insane fun, cause here we go!!!

Koshi Rikado: I, Koshi Rikado…

Ken Akamatsu: And I Ken Akamatsu…

Both: Hereby give all ownership of Love Hina and Excel Saga to the author Phoenix because he has tied us up and…

Phoenix (ME!): Hey, that's not what the card says!!! Now do it right, or I'll ace both of ya!!!

Both: Pardon that last statement.

Koshi Rikado: I, Koshi Rikado…

Ken Akamatsu: And I Ken Akamatsu…

Both: Both being of sound mind hereby give our permission for the author Phoenix to do and Excel Saga-Love Hina crossover.

Phoenix: Excellent. *laughs maniacally*

*Cue Love Hina theme*

*Cue Excel Saga theme*

Chapter 1: The Madness Begins

            "Hail Ilpalazzo!" Excel and Hyatt shout in unison.

            "Good morning, Agent Hyatt, Agent…erm, what's your name again?" Ilpalazzo asked.

            "Oh, you think he'd remember my name, I've been here longer than this blue-haired hussy!" Excel says to the cameras. "Excel, my Lord. Don't you remember?"

            "Ah yes, Excel, of course."

            Excel gets hyper and begins to jump around and shout. "Yes, so, what will you have us do today, your lordship? Will you have us scale a mountain? Or blow up a building, or plant a bomb in a major government building? I live only to serve your will!"

            "Wastefully cheerful," Ilpalazzo said, pushing his glasses up and dropping the rope.

            "Not the rope, please!" Excel pleaded.

            Ilpalazzo pulls the rope anyway and Excel drops down. Water is heard a moment later. "Ack, what's this? Sharks with lasers attached to their freakin heads and ill-tempered Sea Bass?!" Excel shouts.

            "What, who's idea was that?" Ilpalazzo asked. "I specifically requested leeches."

            A few moments pass by in which lasers and other noises are heard from down in the pit, then Excel climbs out, beaten, burned, bitten, and missing a leg. "I have survived the trial!"

            "Unfortunately…" Ilpalazzo lamented. "Anyway, for today's mission. I want you two to find out what is popular amongst high school youth by living and going to school with them."

            "Um…what purpose will that serve?" Excel asked, confused.

            "Can I answer, Lord Ilpalazzo-sama?" Hyatt asked.

            "Yes of course, Hyatt."

            "Is it because once we take over we will have to dispose of these interests in order to keep the ignorant masses from being distracted?"

            "Very good, Hyatt."

            "Thank…" Hyatt drops dead.

            "Ack, not again!" Excel begins performing poor quality CPR. "Breathe, breathe, breathe…" Excel passes out.

            "Hmph….you two are useless," Ilpallazo says, pushing his glasses up again.

            "Gomenasai, Lord Ilpallazo," Excel said, jumping to her feet (her other leg mysteriously reappeared).

            "Anyway, you will be staying at the Hinata Hot Springs and going to the same high school as the girls there. Have fun," Ilpalazzo says, pulling a lever and launching Excel and the still-dead Hyatt out of the roof and into the air.

************************************************************************

            "Breakfast, everyone!" Shinobu called, placing food out on the table.

            "Smells great, as always," Naru complemented, sitting at the table.

            "Yeah. By the way, did I tell you guys that we're receiving two new tenants today," Keitaro announced as he sat at the table.

            "Ooooooooooooo, when do they come?" Su asked, clinging onto Motoko who looks rather annoyed.

            "They should be here any minute now…" Keitaro broke off as two girls came crashing through the ceiling, landing on the table and breaking it. One has golden hair and one has blue hair. Both are now mysteriously dressed in schoolgirl uniforms.

            Motoko comes rushing down the stairs with here sword drawn. "What was that noise? Is Urashima doing something perverted again?"

            "Ack! No, not me!" Keitaro yells, cringing in fear.

            Excel looks up at everyone. "Oh, hi there! I'm Excel Excel, secret agent for the secret ideological organization Across. First name Excel, last name Excel, or just Excel for short…wait, no I'm not! I mean, my name is Excel, and this is Hyatt, pleased to meet ya!"

            "I'm Urashima Keitaro, the landlord here. It's…erm…nice to meet you, too," Keitaro says, getting a nosebleed because of the position Hyatt and Excel have fallen in.

            "Where do you get off getting a nosebleed from that?" Naru shouts, punching Keitaro in the face.

            Motoko inhales deeply after realizing the position of the two. "Lesbians? How dare you allow lesbians in here!"

            "Huh? We're not…" Excel says, confused.

            "Don't feed me your lies, just stay away from me!" Motoko storms out of the building.

            "I'm sorry about that, sometimes she can be a little moody," Keitaro says; now back at what used to be the table. "You two should get to school, though. Just follow Motoko to find your way."

            "Yes, Mr. Landlord person sir!" Excel says, jumping up to her feet and saluting. "C'mon, Hyatt!"

            "Yes senior," she says, rising from the ground and leaving.

            Naru watches them leave. "Well they're weird enough."

            "Like you aren't?" Keitaro mutters.

            "What was that!?"

            "Err…nothing. I'm gonna go fix the roof."

Meanwhile….(I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, a-dee-da-dee-a-dee-da-dee)

            "Er, senior?"

            "Yeah, what is it, Hyatt?"

            "Aren't those our neighbors, Mr. Watanabe, Mr. Iwata, and Mr. Sumiyoshi?" Hyatt points to three people walking down the street.

            "It would appear so, but why are they here? Perhaps it's some plot to foil our plans….Holy Cripes! What are those two doing here?" Excel notices two girls walking behind the three men, one who's unusually quiet and one who's unusually hyper. "They died, dammit!"

            "Let's go say hi." Hyatt's already closed half the distance between them.

            "No, idiot. They can't know we're here. We must take cover." Excel grabs a bird and plucks two of its feathers, sticking them in her hair. "Now we'll be unnoticeable."

            "Um, senior, wouldn't those bush costumes in that store window be better?" Hyatt suggests.

            "No! Bushes don't walk down the streets! Bird feathers are better."

            "You're so smart, senior!" Hyatt exclaims, plucking two more of the bird's feathers.

            Excel releases the bird, which flys off and takes a crap on her head. "Just beautiful…"

            Excel and Hyatt begin walking down the street, gaining strange looks because of the bird feathers. As they walk by Watanabe and his group, Excel gives them the finger. "Why that little…hey, it's Ms. Hyatt! Hey…" Sumiyoshi covers his mouth.

            "What did you do that for, you fat bastard!"

            Sumiyoshi holds up two signs. One reads "We can't blow our position." The other says "Call me fat again and I'll rip your nuts off." Then two other hands come up, holding a cheesesteak sub.

            "Fine, and where the hell did the extra hands come from?!" Watanabe yells, gaining inquisitive stares from passers by.

Back at Hinata Sou….(Here they are all standing in a row)

            Keitaro's up on the roof patching the holes from Excel and Hyatt when a small yellow being in a pink diaper approaches him. "Puuchuu!"

            "What?"

            "Puuchuu!"

            "I can't play right now, I'm busy."

            "Puuchuu!" Hits Keitaro across the head, leaving a bump.

            "Ow, you little bastard!" Keitaro picks the Puuchuu up and tosses it off the roof.

            The Puuchuu lands face down and begins bleeding. "Damn, why he gotta throw me so hard?" Then it dies.

At the High School…(Big ones, small ones, round ones, HEY!)

            "Well, here we are Hyatt!" Excel shouts triumphantly.

            "Yay senior!" Hyatt shouts as they enter the school.

            Motoko cuts them off. "So, stalking me were you? I'll have your heads if you keep this up!"

            "Ack! No! We…were…uh…told to follow you by the landlord type person so we could get to the school!"

            Motoko backs down some. "If I catch you following me again, I will have to hurt you. I don't want anything to do with your sick lesbian games!" She walks off.

            "Hey Hyatt?"

            "Yes Senior Excel?"

            "Do you think she's a covert agent working for another organization with aspirations of city domination who wants to take down Across in order to make it easier for her organization to take over?"

            "I don't know, senior, we should keep an eye out."

            "Good idea, Hyatt! Now to school we go!"

            "One last thing, senior. What about Menchii?"

            "Oh don't worry about her, I'm having her shipped here."

In the back of a truck…(Come Mr. Tally man tally me banana…)

            Menchi is busy trying to gnaw through the cage she is being transported in.

End Chapter 1

Today's experiment…..Not over yet

So….how'd you like it? Tell me, tell me, tell me! I wanna know! Ahem, okay, seriously, reviews and suggestions are welcome. Want me to bash someone from another anime? Suggest it and I may do it! Well, anyway, review and suggest, and Chapter 2 will be around some time before the end of January (hopefully).