Note: For those who don't know, Puuchuus are little yellow bear-like aliens in pink diapers that are a constant plague in Excel Saga. They're just so cute!!! Kawaii! But they're annoying!! They only say Puuchuu! But when you kill them they make funny comments!! That's all.
Chapter 2: High School Pandemonium
Phoenix: *breathing heavily* Damn it! How'd those bastards Rikdo and
Akamatsu escape? Now they've got the damn police after me!
Puuchuu: Puuchuu!
Phoenix: What?
Puuchuu: Puuchuu!
Phoenix: You let them go?
Puuchuu: Puuchuu, Puuchuu!
Phoenix: Damn stupid bastard! And you're annoying, die! *pulls out rocket launcher and shoots Puuchuu straight in the face*
Puuchuu: Don't a fire explosives in a close range, boy!!
Phoenix: Why aren't you dead? *shoots Puuchuu again*
Puuchuu: You a dirty bastard, you hurt me bad!
Phoenix: *fires rocket launcher multiple times until only a crater is
left where the Puuchuu stood* Okay, now that he's dead I'm gonna split. Enjoy
chapter 2!!
*Cue Love Hina opening*
*Cue Excel Saga opening*
"High School, High School, Excel and Hyatt in High School!" Excel chants while walking down the hallway.
"Um, senior, didn't you graduate from High School way back in Episode 1?" Hyatt asks.
"Yeah? And what's your point?" Excel snaps, looking hurt.
"I was just wondering senior, that's all."
People are staring at Excel as she skips and spins through the hallway. Motoko is hiding behind a corner. "I knew those two dirty lesbians were going to try to pull me into their dirty games! Well I don't want anything to do with them. They'll pay dearly," she mutters, sliding away.
Excel stops and shivers. "Is something wrong, senior?" Hyatt asks.
"I just got a bad feeling, or maybe it's that open window! Who opened that window?" Excel points to a window on the other side of the hall.
Out of nowhere (and literally nowhere) comes a basketball, which hits Excel in the head and knocks her to the ground. "Dammit, who throws a basketball at someone?"
More basketballs begin raining down on Excel and Hyatt. They run into a classroom and slam the door. "I…think…we're…safe…" pants Excel.
"Wrong. You dirty lesbians, how dare you stalk me in my own school?!" Motoko walks out of a dark corner with her sword drawn. "You will pay the price."
"Wait, we're not lesbians!!" Excel yells.
Out of nowhere come Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune. "Did somebody call for lesbians?" they say in unison.
"No!!!!!!!" Motoko yells, sending the two flying out of the window and into oblivion. "I despise gays of all types!"
The classroom door flies open and in steps a blond haired man in a yellow/red silk suit. "Hi, I'm Daily Wong. Did someone say they were gay?"
"No!!!" Excel hollers, punching the guy through the same window. "Who gave them permission to do a cameo, anyway?"
Excel and Hyatt turn back to Motoko who now has them lined up. "Wait, what are you going to do?" Excel shouts while Motoko charges.
The two Across agents are sent flying out of the window and into?????
Motoko sheaths her sword and leaves. She's now headed for…
Hispanic man pops his head in…
"Why haven't you given me, Pedro, any screen time? Pedro is a character on Excel Saga, too! I deserve screen time!"
Phoenix: Erm….Security?
"Hey, take your hands off Pedro! Pedro wants his lawyer…and his Mommy.
Phoenix: Sorry bout that. Here's the story.
Back at Hinata House…(It's the hard knock life for us, it's the hard knock life for us…)
"Keitaro, I'm gonna beat your face in!" Naru shouts as she chases Keitaro around the Hinata Sou. (Keitaro had accidentally walked in on her in the hot springs).
"It was an accident, I swear!!!" Keitaro yells back. "But what a lovely accident it was."
Keitaro suddenly runs into Kitsune and falls to the ground. "Hm? What's the rush, Keitaro?"
Keitaro looks over his shoulder just in time to see Naru's fist heading for his face. The next thing he knows, he's soaring through the air. "Dammit, how do I end up like this?" he thinks as he flies into the stratosphere.
Meanwhile, on a beach in southern Spain…
"Oh Ms. Will, Pedro feels so forgotten. Nobody wants him…"
"That's not true, Mr. P, I still love you," says the Great Will of the Macrocosm.
"But Pedro still misses his son, and sexy wife!"
The Great Will hugs Pedro and they watch the setting sun. The chatter of small voices begins to echo around them. "Ms. Will, do you feel as if someone was watching us?" Pedro asks.
"Now that you mention it…"
Pedro turns to see a large group of Puuchuus surrounding them, chanting "Puuchuu, Puuchuu," in their annoyingly cute voices.
"Aw no, Pedro's life suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks!"
Today's experiment…Still not finished, dammit!
Kay, I began to run out of ideas, so I had to cut this chapter short. It may be a while before I post again, because I have to think of some new material. So until then…Obey the Fish!